Episode 49 - Product Junkies - April Edition (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 49 Product Junkies - April Edition.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:29

Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family. So Amy and Katie here and we have a special episode we are starting to introduce something called our hashtag product junkie sessions. And this is the first one this was based on a lot of feedback from you all saying that you love to hear other product reviews at the end and the different things we talked about there. And so we're doing a bit of a we're gonna do a quick quick flash round of a bunch of products that Katie and I have been loving lately. If this is something that you like, we'll continue to do it monthly. Katie and I are always trying out different products. I want to make sure that we're bringing you kind of like the goods and the bads of all the things starting with a quick round I'm going to I'm going to send it to Katie to give us her first product reco of this episode.

Katie: 1:15

All right, this is great. I'm super excited because I have some products that I'm like obsessed with the first one here the first one all right, I was looking at pictures of myself from years ago and I was thinking why does my skin look like that? It was really like really clear my pores are really small gonna have a pore on my face and I was I just couldn't understand what had changed. And then I remembered I had this product that I was obsessed with back then and for whatever reason it just fell out of rotation and I totally forgot about it. So here she is again, or the company rather good old Sunday Riley I don't know how many times I've talked about them I'm upside I do love Sunday Riley Yeah, love it's there Martian mattifying melting water gel toner and interesting gives your skin this really nice matte look. And it also really legitimately minimizes your pores so your face just looks I know it's like the smoothest and my skins ever looked and I don't know why I stopped using it I have no clue maybe I like couldn't find it one day and I was too lazy to order it online and then forgot about it. But as soon as within probably a week of using it it my skin game was

Amy: 2:30

back on like it okay so it's Sunday Riley and what's it called Martian

Katie: 2:34

Martian mattifying melting water gel toner.

Amy: 2:39

And is it in the morning or at night

Katie: 2:41

I use it in the morning I use it during the day for like how I want my skin to look during the day and it says it's for oily to blemish prone skin which lately mine really has been in this is helping instantly transforms from a cooling gel to a water toner as a clarifies removes oil and tightens the appearance of pores for clearer cleaner skin. And let me tell you, it delivers. It really does.

Amy: 3:05

I need to try it. I'm

Katie: 3:06

as much as that it's $25 and they have it that's it. Yeah,

Amy: 3:11

that's very reasonable for Sunday. Riley it is.

Katie: 3:14

But also I should note this is for 1.7 ounces. It's a pretty small thing. But if you're only using a little like dime size once a day dime size does that it's all you need. Okay, and yeah, and they have other things in this like Martian family that I haven't tried yet. But yeah, um, I like this will never go out of rotation again in my life.

Amy: 3:39

That sounds great. It's funny, my friend Erica. I was talking to her about products the other day and she said she got a product similar to that by Clinique that minimizes pores I don't know if it was a toner or a CRM or something but interesting, I will have to try that. Okay, next product let's give each other and this week take a picture. Take a picture of this one because it's a fun bottle, we'll edit the sound texture spray. So first of all, the packaging is so cute. I love it. It's so colorful. But this is actually like a really good spray if it's like second day or third day or whatever and you just want to like judge up your hair and give it some volume and texture This is great. So my hairstylist Teresa shout out introduced me to this not this brand but this specific spray she had introduced me to another spray years ago from aura bay that I still use, which is good but I actually like this one better. It's just a little bit more texture II so whenever I use it, it adds like volume in it's great. I think I might have used a little bit today but it's it's great. So it's a mica undone volume and matte texture spray $27 You can find it on Amazon probably Sephora, etc, etc. So good little hair hack,

Katie: 4:47

do you so do you use it on like clean just dried hair or do you use it like a couple days later? Like a dry like a dry shampoo?

Amy: 4:58

I think you can do both. I think it works better on dry hair I'm looking at the directions and it says dry finishing spray builds instant fullness and matte texture for perfectly. How do you say this word to us led Taos Walsall. Okay, for perfect not editing

Katie: 5:18

that out.

Amy: 5:21

I can't say the word Telcel high volume hair, use it shake spray in sections all over dry styled hair tarsal is so you I use it like you could use it after you blow out your hair. I've done that too. Like I've blown out my hair and then just use it to like judge it up. And then I'll use it like day to day three, whatever. So you could use it anytime. But you do use it on dry hair. Yeah, I mean, it's almost like a dry shampoo or conditioner but more of a texturizer

Katie: 5:46

right. So when I wash my hair, I let it air dry and then it doesn't get that good texture for like a day or two. So that would be a way to do that. Because I had never washed my hair the same day. I have an event for that reason. I need something like that. Yeah,

Amy: 6:00

I always do second day hair too. I find it always looks better the second day, but this definitely helps with that. It just like pulls that texture out. Yeah. Okay, what do we got next?

Katie: 6:07

All right, well, speaking of hey, this. So lately I've been getting a lot of compliments on my hair, you wouldn't be able to tell right now my roots are so grown out. But this actually fixes that problem. I like I just said I washed my hair and then I have super thick hair as Do you. So really I wash it like once or twice a week max otherwise it gets dried out. So the way that I keep it going and fresh is with dry shampoo. And I've tried a billion different brands. And this is my new fav This is a super cheap drugstore. Find. It's Batista. I use their Oh yeah, they're brilliant blonde. Which is great, because when my dark roots come in, it actually like hides my roots. So the great thing about it is that obviously I can stretch the washes and but it also it also gives me volume. And like covers up the roots and makes it really fresh and great. Yeah, I mean, I'll show you right now.

Amy: 7:03

Wait, is it sorry, did you say it was a dry shampoo?

Katie: 7:05

It's the Batista dry shampoo blonde blends smells like our color tracks. Yeah, look, watch.

Amy: 7:12

Okay, cool. Demonstrating

Katie: 7:16

look like I mean, I mean, like blended a bit, but no more. Wow. Isn't that wild?

Amy: 7:22

That's so cool. I need to get that ASAP. Yeah,

Katie: 7:25

I'm obsessed. And they have got like CVS, yes, CVS, you can get it literally at any drugstore. I feel like it's I mean, and let me see. It's $10 and then they How

Amy: 7:36

does it How does it wear? Like if you put it in your hair today? Like is it still in tomorrow? Is it like get weird and gross are

Katie: 7:43

wears really well. I'll put it in sometimes, like a couple times a day, I have to do it. And the only thing that I do notice is that when I do go to wash my hair, I really need to do like a double rents to clear up any just like product residue, you know, right? If it gets a little sticky or something. Yeah, but like, because it's dry shampoo. It keeps your hair going for a long time. Like I mean, I can get away with one wash a week with it. And then totally it's

Amy: 8:12

it frustrates me it's like playing double duty. It's like doing your roots plus it's a dry shampoo. And I don't I don't use dry shampoos that much because my hair like I could wash it once a week and it never gets oily but I do use a dry conditioner which I've mentioned before from dry bar which is really good. But I want to try that because I My roots are I feel like the older I get the more and more my I need to get my roots or like my highlights done more often. So that's a great one.

Katie: 8:36

Yeah. And they have like they have it in brown. They have it in different colors they have they also have dry conditioners, which I'd never heard of until I was on their site earlier. So I need to look into a dry conditioner, especially for metal anything could be really good for her. So yeah, there you go. Yeah,

Amy: 8:52

I love a dry conditioner. It's not it's just as a different feel than a dry shampoo. It's not as like thick. It's just a little bit more smoothing. Okay, so speaking of hair than and getting out all of the dry shampoo that makes your roots blonde. I have another products. This is a hair scalp massager. I've seen this. So I actually got this shout out to Taylor rose aka healthy who got who we had on our show because she's doing a lot of content lately about hair and using Rosemary which I started so I'll report back to to get the results on that. But on her site, she had a link out to this specific hair scalp massager I got on Amazon, it was $6.98 and it's great. I've never used something like this before. First of all, it's nice and big. So when you put it in your hand it has like a good feel and then you literally just like massage your hair with it. First of all, I love the massage part. It feels so good, so much better than just like washing your hair and like scrubbing with your fingers. And I do feel like it does a better job at cleaning my hair because I usually just do it so quickly and Ramona veers fingers through it, but this really like gets in there and I think it like stimulate your hair follicles. It's really good. So I just put shampoo on this now and then I wash my hair with it and use the conditioner with it too. It feels really good. It's a little little little Nirvana in your shower. So what's it called this product? It's called I'm sorry if I didn't mention it. It's called just the hair scalp hair scalp massage shampoo brush, by Mack soft scalp care brush. So we'll we'll provide all the links of all these products so you all can check it out. But great one

Katie: 10:28

nice. Okay, hair. All right, well, I'm going to pivot to skin back to where we started. Alright, Trader Joe's find supergene love it. It's always there. Their dermatologists formulated hydrating Hyaluronic body gel cream. Oh this is my new like everyday go to body lotion. And it's really it's really nice like it's definitely moisturizing and it leaves kind of a nice I don't know just like a cooling effect on your skin. It's not super heavy you know solutions you put on there like really thick and it feels like you got to rub them in and rubber man and rubber men right

Amy: 11:09

and then like you have to wait to put your clothes on because they get sticky exactly that

Katie: 11:13

this is not that it's nice and light and and it really is very hydrating. I mean it's like still winter where I live which is shocking. And my skin is really never dry because I'm using this so it's from Trader Joe's and it's only 699

Amy: 11:30

I love Trader Joe's so on we've been finding so many Trader Joe's products frankly like we I think we talked about the the eye cream and the rose spray. Yeah, they just randomly have like good products. Is that product thick or thin?

Katie: 11:41

It's kind of it's funny, it's like in between it's kind of hard to explain. Yeah, because it's a gel cream. A gel cream like that's fine like the little cooling Yeah, like it's I mean you can see it's on my finger right now. And it's looks like it's thin and I guess it kind of is but it's like it was clear. It's as hydrating as a healthy a heavy one would be Yeah, I love it.

Amy: 12:06

I definitely want to try that. Okay, so speaking of body lotions and oils I've been using this one for a while and I haven't talked about on the show. It's the OSA undara Algae body oil nice. Have you seen this I love this body oil. It feels so good on this skin. It's $48 you can get it at Credo Ulta Sephora etc but let me talk about the the oil so my skin is really dry so I do use moisturizer but sometimes I like to use maybe a couple times a week in oil just because I feel like it's more hydrating and my skin doesn't get as dry when I use an oil but a lot of times I like what will what I do with this is because sometimes I don't like to put the thick oil on my skin it just feels like too sticky. So what I do is I put a pump of this and a pump of moisturizer and mix it together and then it's like a smart combination of like cream and oil and it my skin feels so good when I use it it feels so like just plump and moisturize and I love it so I've been using it for a while as you can see it's helpful and it's a really really good one a little goes a long way so it is $48 But it does last a long time. I also have another one that I don't have in front of me and I can talk about it on the next episode. There's another bottle oil that I have from skin and senses which I think is a little bit less expensive and I also really liked that one so I can talk about that one but anyway really good finds. Again it's the Osia Undaria Ondara algae oil

Katie: 13:33

and what lotion do you mix it with?

Amy: 13:36

It's funny I don't have I don't have it to show you but I can send a link to it. And it's I found this suave lotion which is super cheap because I used to use you remember the and you have a to the bliss butter and Shea cream like that thick moisturizing cream I like love that lotion I used to buy it all the time. But I was like sick of buying it you can't like find it in the stores to buy it online. It's it's they would sell it in these big jars is really expensive. So the suave stuff that I found is almost it's not a dupe for it, but it has similar it has a similar smell. It has shea butter and has coconut and it's paraben free you know all natural it's like from the suave naturals collection so I really like it and the consistency is perfect for me. So that's what I've been using lately and I mix it with the oil so I'll put a link up for

Katie: 14:24

that tonight. So do you know what say I feel like our listeners have heard sky bark so many times that we need to give them some sky can assume your office. Take a picture she is let's get her in there

Amy: 14:34

crazy woman topic she has to she's so bad cashmere. She just got something in our mouth Put on Skype probably wants to go outside. Oh here she is.

Katie: 14:50

I cannot believe she's like quadrupled in size since I saw a huge

Amy: 14:54

Yeah, look at her. She's a big girl.

Katie: 14:55

Oh, she's so cute.

Amy: 14:57

She's like 26 pounds now.

Katie: 14:58

Oh my gosh.

Amy: 15:00

Okay, all right, I max on the skin route.

Katie: 15:03

I'm done on square one, actually. But I have. So I have a product that I promised I would review a long time ago I story about it. Actually, I posted about it, it's volume. It was their, their health intelligence test that I did, that you they send you a kit. And they take a stool sample and not the funnest, and then a blood sample. And then you send it back. And they have all of this amazing technology that tells you exactly what pre and probiotics your system is missing and needs, and what vitamins and minerals and antigens your body needs. And then they customize and send you probiotics and vitamins. So it's not cheap. I mean, when you when you think about what it actually is, I think it's a very good price. It's 199 to do the testing, and then the supplements and everything that come back, I think the first go around, they give it to you for like $70. But it's a lot. It's like, for example, this one package. I'm supposed to take this whole thing in a day it has eight in it, there's no way I could take eight vitamins, like one in here does the job. I feel it working.

Amy: 16:24

What what vitamins. So when you do the stool sample and the blood sample, what does it tell you about your store? Because I know we talked about that on the period guru episode and I was like, oh, I should do I should do that testing to see like what I'm missing or all of that. What is it? Does it tell you anything or just recommend something, it tells

Katie: 16:40

you so much information, it's insane. You download the app, it gives you all of these scores, whether or not your gut microbiome is like a good average optimal or not optimal, your cellular cellular health, your mitochondrial health, immune system, your stress response health, your what's your biological age, mine's 35, thank you. And it's and then it goes deeper, and it tells you foods that you should be eating and foods that you shouldn't be eating. And then in regards to like the stool test, it basically tells you like what your microbiome like what the imbalances are, and it gives you what you need to balance that in the customized probiotic. And then and so

Amy: 17:28

with the probiotic has that been helping you?

Katie: 17:30

It has, you know what the probiotics really heavy and actually, my stomach's been pretty good lately for like the last year I've taken out eggs kind of like was it a huge life changer for me. So for the probiotics, I'm not using them that much because my stomach has been doing very well. And when I do use them, it did feel a little bit heavy. But the disclaimer is they say you have to give your system kind of some time to adjust to them, which I think is fair. The vitamins, like for example, in my vitamin is 300 milligrams of curcumin, 35 milligrams of B 649 milligrams of a Kobo manera extract 201 milligrams of vitamin C and it goes on and on. And apparently this is like the exact dosage of what my body needs. While meanwhile, they're pretty strong. And I'm also just you know, I'm hypersensitive to stuff I put in my body. So that whole like trying to do aid, no shot, so I paid Yeah, like $75 for all of these. And I'm taking one pill from this pack a day. And there's 30 of these pills 30 of these patterns. So it goes it's gonna go a long way.

Amy: 18:34

How did you find out about this company? Like, what's the

Katie: 18:38

it was in that's kind of embarrassing, but it was really good Instagram advertising. But it was targeted me properly. But I went in and I did loads and loads of research and qualified them and read all the reviews and everything and the science and it's like it's backed. I mean, there's there's a lot of like peer review studies that are backing all of it. So it's legit. Okay, that's good. Great. Yeah.

Amy: 19:00

Okay, so speaking of. I have a the a bunch of skin stuff. But since we're in the supplement vitamin space, I'll talk about this brand, which is my new favorite semiotica Oh, yeah. So I have mentioned this brand before. And I've heard the founder interviewed several times on, I think it was the skinny confidential podcast and he goes super deep into the science and all of the backing and so totally legitimate. And these two supplements, one of them is the symbiotic aka b 12, and B six cellular energy. And the other one is the D three plus k two plus CO Q immunity and heart health. And these two I picked because I take B and D Anyway every day, but this is according to the founder and this company which I heard the whole explanation. The way that this is administered is lipids. somo which means through the mouth, so it's a pump, and you just put it in your mouth and it tastes yummy. You just do like 12 drops a day of each. And so that, I guess is a better way to take these types of vitamins. The other thing about this and I'm gonna butcher this as I don't really know how to describe it, but this b 12, mix with a B six, it's a better way to administer the B like it, I don't know, there's some rationale. They help each other i But if you absorb, they help each other. And that is the same thing with the d3. So I was just taking d3, but this has the k two and the CO Q and I think co Q is what you just I forgot what the it stands for like CO

Katie: 20:42

it might be co cretin. CO Q is maybe yeah, so Oh, no, I'm sorry. Coenzyme Q 10. So yeah, so this

Amy: 20:51

one with d3 has k two plus CO q 10. And the K two is a vitamin, which I don't know much about, I just like listen to the guy. And it's, you know, made sense to me. So, and essentially it says Like if you, you know, take these together the d3 Ketu and CO q 10. With the B 12. They help each other. So the d3 supports immune health support strong bones by assisting in the regulation of calcium and supports cardiovascular health by reducing arterial plaque. So that's the D three and then the B 12. So the B 12. It's the beach of plus B six can help with boosting energy improving your moods supporting heart health. And again, it says you know to take 12 pumps daily. And these two so when I was listening to the episode, he basically talked about his whole company and all the stuff they had about a few other things I bought like a vitamin C supplement, I bought magnesium supplement a few other things. But these were the two that like he said appeal to most people and that everyone should use so because they asked him on the show. Like if you had to pick two or three, what would you pick and it was like these jewels, something else. So anyway, I tried it two months ago, and I really like it, I replaced my I usually take like a gummy vitamin because I don't like to swallow a big pill. So I replaced my gummy vitamins with these. And I can definitely tell a difference with my energy, my mood, everything, I think it's definitely made a difference. In fact, I've ordered it now. I had one I ran out of it, I ordered another and now I just started I subscribed to their like bundle and save. So I get it every month. The only rub with this company is it is not cheap. So the vitamin B 12 is I mean, it's not too bad. But it's like if you do this, Subscribe and Save. It's like $43. And it's you know, not a huge amount. It's it basically a month, a month's worth the d3 is $69. So it is quite expensive. But if you've read and do the research and listen to some of these episodes I listened to I think it's worth it. I've also eliminated all my other vitamins and supplements. I literally use these two and it's like the vitamin C and whatever a few other things, but it's sort of equaled itself out because I'm not buying all of this like gummy vitamins and things. So yeah, I'm really, really into this synbiotic A company I think their stuff is it's super clean the way he describes all the way that they get their minerals. It's super legit, and I love it. So that is my supplementation product reco lately,

Katie: 23:16

I think you know, investing your money into a quality supplement product that you know the source and you know, what's in it is really important because supplements and vitamins are they don't go through like FDA approval. So you can buy a supplement and it can just be complete garbage. So I don't the price doesn't scare me so much. And the really cool thing about the fact that it's a spray that I heard you say it like was so long, I don't know if that's like a cell wall. Yeah, so part of that is the perk behind that is because they can they can give it to you with less filler with less junk, it's more of a straight shot and then just the way that your body absorbs it is faster, it's more readily available in your system. So I think

Amy: 24:02

I can I can definitely tell a difference and these are both I know the vitamin B says it's keto and vegan. I think the other one is too nice. So really, really quality quality product. Yeah,

Katie: 24:13

I love that. Well I just have one last super quick one that is just kind of like a fun little bit. It's my new favorite candle. It's the it's the root brand I find it here at Fresh Market. I don't know I mean they have their own website root candles.com part of their aromatherapy seeking balance like capsule collection and you can get a you know, an eight ounce candle for $23 It's a little steep but it lasts a really long time. It's a scent of eucalyptus now

Amy: 24:42

I think that's a good price for our candle. Yeah, those

Katie: 24:44

are right, like I pay $65 for my favorite Diptyque candle. But the cool thing about this is that it increases overall brain activity and relieves congestion. And I swear when I like this sucker during the day when I'm working, I don't know what it does, but it stimulates something like it helps me With my flow the scent in the air I really like I kind of spares if I can't light it when I'm working so anyway it's just a fun one it's a good thing to have in your house

Amy: 25:08

yeah that's a good one and I think that's a reminder any like I have so many candles and I never like think to put them on I just like we put them on sometimes at night for having dinner but like it is a good thing to do while you're working put you in the zone. Yeah, for sure to in a good flow. So I have a few products and we're gonna go through them really quickly because we all gotta go. So first one I'll recommend is this Glow Recipe watermelon glow, nice cinnamon dewdrops, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. I've seen this like all over it's something I've wanted to try. It's like a serum you put on that basically, it's it can serve as a primer or just a serum. But as soon as you put it on, it's like your skin is glowing. And I love that glowy dewy look. So highly recommend $34 Sephora, you know glow recipe.com another one and this is like an amazing dude. So everybody, listen to this one. We all talk about the SkinCeuticals vitamin C and folic acid. This is a dupe of it. It's called the Dr. Brenner C serum vitamin C for like I think is around like 160 $170 this Dr. Brenner C serum is $20. Wow, got on Amazon. And I found it through, I had posted about a site which we'll put the name in the show notes because I can't recall the site right now. But there's a website that you can put in certain products and it takes the ingredients and it matches it with other products that are very similar. So this was a match by like 99%. And I've been using it and I don't see a difference. I actually almost like it better. It's it's a really, really nice quality product. So highly recommend this for do for this SkinCeuticals vitamin C E for reliq. And two other things quickly. So this I got from our friend, Shelley, a beauty Shaman. So this is one of her tools. She posts about it a lot, but it's called the this is called the obsidian rock roller. And I am obsessed. I use it all the time. So I just brought this out skiing with us with all the altitude I was so puffy. And I use this every day. I used it on my kids, they loved it. I mean, it's on my neck though. It's basically like it's kind of like a guasha and like a cupping. I'm feeling all at once and I just feel like it's like a lazy guasha. So for me, I just sit here and I use it all over my face and it's so like it kind of sucks in your face and it definitely works for swelling and just like to get kind of like stuff out of your skin. I use it on my neck first like Shelly always says and then I also use it on my shoulders when they're sore to like massage my shoulder. So I was just using it on my kids the other day on their shoulders in the back of their neck. It's such a good one. So I've been using this a ton of time. It's the obsidian rock roller on beauty shamans website. It's $98 Such a great beauty tool. I love it. And the last thing I will say is I've been using for a while now this L'Oreal True Match nude Hyaluronic tinted serum. Okay, so this is a serum but it's tinted. The only thing is is doesn't have SPF like the there's a another one that I have to that's not to say but the other brand that I always mix Ilya, Ilya, I always get those two brands confused and that one has SPF and is good, but I actually like this one better because it's a thinner formula. So this is by L'Oreal. And again, it's just like a serum. And so you put it on your hands like a serum and you just rub it in and it just kind of smooths out your face. I mean, I don't really wear foundation and this is like a good like, I'll wear this at night. Sometimes you could just you could wear it every day. It's super light. It's just kind of like, you know, puts puts together your luck almost like a tinted moisturizer but it's a serum so it's not so thick and you just like put it on and it really makes a big difference. It's

Katie: 28:40

great. It just smooths out so drunk so I lie and write Did you say L'Oreal?

Amy: 28:43

It's a drugstore fine. Yeah, it's, it's $15 Target Amazon, wherever and it's a great one. So it's great one to put on after you've done all your glowing tools and everything else. So that's it. That was our episode. And we hope you enjoyed it. Definitely give us feedback and we'll be sure to do another product junkie section session next month. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 47 - First Love Yourself with Dr. Alisha Reed, the FLY Pharmacist and Self-Care Strategist (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 47 First Love Yourself with Dr. Alisha Reed, the FLY Pharmacist and Self-Care Strategist.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy 0:28

Welcome back to Nirvana sisters Nirvana sisters family. It's Amy and Katie and we are here with Dr. Alisha Reed and so excited to talk to her. We met online and we've been wanting to chat with her for so long. She's got amazing content on our Instagram and has such an interesting story. So I read a little bit about Alicia before we get into it. So the fly pharmacist, self care strategist and founder of lifestyle brand fly with Alisha Reed. Dr. Reid was born and raised in New Orleans, where she attended Xavier University of Louisiana and received a Doctorate of pharmacy degree. Dr. Reed has been a licensed pharmacist for almost two decades and has seen firsthand how self care impacts health in the community. The Fly pharmacists acts as an advocate to empower and educate her community to make self care a priority in their lives. As a self care strategist, Dr. Reed provides the tools and training necessary to create a successful self care plan. She is a widow mom who believes that self care is non negotiable, totally agree with that and is determined to break that generational curse that strong women don't take breaks. I can't wait to hear more about that such an interesting thing to think about. Self Care has become such a buzzword. But the truth is, is that self care is whatever you need it to be. After losing her husband, Dr. Reed wanted to normalize grief by publicly sharing her grief journey while continuing to practice exceptional self care. Dr. Reed moderates, a widow support group and hosts the fly widow podcast and one quote I also just wanted to say I was reading in your Southern Living article, congratulations, by the way, and it said, I love this quote it says everyone thinks that self care has to be a spotlight or massage or pedicure she says but it's doing whatever you need to do to feel like you again, which I really, really loved. And that really resonated with me. So welcome to the show. Dr. Reed. We're so excited to have you

Alisha 2:20

for having me. Thank you for having me. This is one of my favorite topics. Yes, we're excited to get to share more with you. Yeah, us too. So

Amy 2:30

we always like to start the show with our nirvana of the week or day, something that brought us joy this week, something that, you know, brought a smile to our face. So I will pass it off to you, Katie.

Katie 2:42

Thank you, Amy. Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you. Dr. Reed. Should we call you Alisha? Dr. Reed

Alisha 2:48

Alisha is fine.

Katie 2:50

Okay, great. So yeah, it's great to have you here. My nirvana of the day. It happened on Friday, I think we had our, like, first day that it felt like spring here. I'm in Connecticut on the East Coast, Alisha. And I feel like it's spring everywhere. But here. We're the last to get it. And I just spent the day outside with my daughter with my four year old after school for like two hours, just you know, playing around exploring the yard, taking a walk, having her on her bike, all that fun stuff. So it was really nice to just be out in nature again, and not be freezing cold and the fresh air and you know, the sounds of spring. It was great. It brought me a lot of nirvana. What about you, Amy?

Amy 3:29

That's so good. Mine was yesterday morning, I spent I don't know, maybe a half an hour doing a recipe with Jules, my my younger son who's 12. And he's been a little, you know, he's in middle school. He just started middle school this year. And he's been a little, you know, he's getting a little sassy. And doesn't like to spend as much time with me talks back. And so he wanted to make this like dessert recipe thing. And so I was like, okay, so we did it together. And it was really nice to kind of just step back and like, read a recipe and get the ingredients out and do it step by step because I feel like in my kids world, Alicia, I have a 12 and a 15 year old. And I know you have a son too. Like they're running around and everything so quick. It's like, Can we order dinner? Let's buy it on Amazon. Like there's no pressor virens I feel like so just to like read the recipe and like do everything step by step in the order and wait. And yeah, it was just nice to kind of take a moment and spend time with Him and do that. And he was like, cute and like I loved just doing that little project with him. So it was fun. It brought me a lot of joy yesterday morning. So what about you?

Alisha 4:35

So we had our air show here in New Orleans. It's been five years since the Blue Angels performed or did their flight show in New Orleans. So my son and I, we went there and it was really good to be outside. The weather was perfect. Not a cloud in the sky. We watched all the airplanes do their tricks, and it was a real cool mom and Sunday. You Do you think about what we can do together and it was just great. He got a little cub scout patch, because that's something that he needed to do to check up on his list. And we just had a great day, eating chicken tenders and fries and watching all the planes do their tricks. And one of the most interesting things was ourselves, my cell phone wouldn't work. Because we were in like an air Siena airspace, we're on the naval base. And, you know, sometimes we talk about disconnecting from our phones, but I couldn't send anything, I couldn't post anything. And I was essentially without the use of a phone for four hours. And that, for me was really good, because we were actually just present with each other. And it was a great day.

Katie 5:47

So that sounds amazing. How old is he?

Alisha 5:49

Six going on?

Katie 5:53

I understand that. That's a fun age, though. It's really Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Nice. All right. Well, should we get right into it? I want to kick it off. And I elite, Alisha, if you could give our audience a bit of a background? Within your career, you're a pharmacist? How did how did you get into all of that? And and how did it? How did your career really get you diving deep into self care? How did that come about? Sure. So

Alisha 6:22

I've been a pharmacist for 18 years, almost 19. And I was always interested in helping people and science and all that and but I didn't want to go to school forever. You know, like doctors, you spent all that time in school. So pharmacy was a six year program. And I felt like that was long enough to get into the profession, the health care profession, really enjoyed it did retail which pharmacies, CVS, Walgreens all those big boxes, that, you know, as a pharmacist, that's where you will you go when you first start, but it was just so busy. And we were always rushing, anxious, didn't have time to eat didn't have you no brakes, and long hours. And I really thought about like, that's not what I want for life, you know, I don't want to be rushing all the time and have anxiety. So I stepped away from retail and chose another area of pharmacy, which was managed care. And I was able to work for a health plan. And, and that we focus on like a lot of metrics and just checking to see how people managed their health. And it was that at that moment, I realized that we can do a lot to prevent health conditions, and you know, these diseases, disease states, and as a pharmacist, you know, I fill the prescriptions, but cost a lot of money for people, it's not always accessible. So I wanted to think about ways that people could help with their health conditions and do things that didn't require a lot of money, you know, instead of having something most times yes, you do have to take your medicine people because I don't want people to say, oh, no, I don't take my medicine, but just being able to counsel patients on lifestyle modifications, because that's big. You have diabetes, and you take your medicine every day. But if you aren't following the diet or exercising, you know, it's really not going to work. So for me, that was the whole connection to pharmacy and the self care world. So I launched a brand. In 2014, I thought of the brand it was Nola Bougie. And it was for women, because I wanted women to understand that. Even though we're all moms and wives and caregivers, that we were still women. And I didn't want to have to give up the things that I love because I chose to be a mom or a wife. So out of that brand, it was just about inspiring women to just be their best selves. And I did that officially launched in 2017. And in 2019, I lost my husband. And when my husband passed, I didn't want to do it anymore. Because I felt like that was something that we did together. And I was done. I was done with it. And I didn't want to do it. And my audience reached out and they said, you know, you inspired us to do so much as a mom and as a wife that you can't give up. You can't leave us here. And we want you to do inspire yourself, do all the stuff that you're telling us. We want you to do. And I thought about it and said you know what? I need to keep going but I didn't want to keep going as Nola bougie so I changed i rebranded as fly. So flies first love yourself because it was always about loving you. And I learned that on this grief journey. I had to figure out who I was again, because I was a mom before yours. I was a wife for, you know, almost six. And now my life was had changed. So it was just all about loving myself. And I continue to take the women on the journey with me. And that's where I am now.

Katie 10:14

That's amazing. It's so empowering your story and your journey, I kind of want to unpack it a little bit, save a few questions within it. To circle to go to go back to management care, that I've never heard of this i i see pharmacist I get I have autoimmune conditions, I have to take so much medication, it's obnoxious. And I see these pharmacists. And just like you said, they are busting their butts all day long. And it seems like a thankless job. They're just over and over and over and over again, new customer, new customer, new customer, it looks like it's a really long day and really hard work. So this Manage management cares that we set our mind and manner

Alisha 10:54

managed care and health care plan. So when you have your insurance card, and you know you fill your prescription there are pharmacists working with the health plan to determine what medications should be offered or should be covered. So a lot of times, you may fill a prescription and they'll say, oh, this medication is not covered by your health plan, or it needs a prior authorization. So as a pharmacist, I was a part of the team that research the medicines to figure out which ones were best for our patients. And then also, on the other end, I talk to patients about their health condition. So I did what's called medication therapy management. And that's when you do a whole review of medications with the patient, and talk to them about their health condition. So you know, with your autoimmune disorder, we would talk about your medications, but then also talk about what you're doing, like let's say, stress, I mean, stress is a number one cause of like flare ups for a lot of conditions. So we were talking about your stress management, like what are you doing for stress? Like, what is your diet look like? So all of that goes into healthcare. And for me, it's almost like self care as healthcare. Because after all those things work together, not just taking the prescription.

Katie 12:17

That's yeah, I'm sure that was probably a lot more fulfilling, also, just generally speaking, than being behind the counter at a CVS or something to which is really, really cool. And so you're not doing that anymore. You are still so I still

Alisha 12:29

am. I work for a hospital now. And it's kind of like the same thing. It's not managed care, but I'm doing home based primary care. So I'm also a member of a care team, like I was before and get a chance to talk to, to patients and review their medicines and give information and help. So it's very similar. And I find that that's like my sweet spot. That's what I love to do. And most people ask, Will you ever quit your job? Like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I would, but I love it that you enjoy it right? I enjoy it. So it's not something that I dread doing or you know, going to work. So I enjoy I know it's rewarding.

Amy 13:15

And you probably learn new things by all the different people that you meet and you probably hear so many different stories so I can imagine it's really interesting and really sorry to hear about your husband that's just I can't I mean it's just so hard to go through but really proud to see that you have powered on and that your community like has has encouraged you to do so because I'm sure it's helped you heal so yeah, tough, tough stuff. Okay, so moving right along. Let's talk about self care and beauty because all of your content on Instagram has so many like fun tidbits about all the new stuff you're trying and all the new things you're doing. So tell us about kind of what you look for in products and kind of what your what your favorite things are to shop for and look for. I mean your skin is glowing, literally guys, their skin is so gorgeous. It is.

Alisha 14:11

Thank you go. I also find that the sell the beauty products, I really enjoy looking at the ingredients. I think it's probably because of the pharmacy.

Amy 14:25

Yeah, but they are more than most people.

Alisha 14:29

And I think about you know, chemistry and like being in the labs and all that. So for me, it's like I really like to look at the labels. Obviously, less is better, you know less ingredients is better. So I look at that. Also look at you know whether or not there are additives or you know, the parabens, a lot of things that shouldn't be in products. It's clean beauty, is what I'm really paying attention to. One of the most interesting things is that cosmetics are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. And whereas if you get a prescription, you know, it is but not cosmetics. So essentially anyone can put something out there. And, you know, people buy it because marketing in you know, they don't pay really pay attention. So I want to be that person to educate and share. Okay, this is a good product. So not necessarily endorsing and promoting products, which is something that I really try to stress as well. I'm really looking at ingredients and whether or not it works for me, and I like to share that it's not so much a sponsored post or anything. So I like to educate and let you know, my followers know, this is what you need to look for. You need to pay attention to how its manufacture where what's in it, you know, check your allergies because there's a lot of things that you may not be able to use because you know if you have a shellfish allergy, so that is my that's my like standard like what I'm when I'm picking up a product and looking at the things that I'm loving right now or like what I'm really into is just clean skin. I'm not so much into makeup, I love makeup. But I find that if you take care of your skin, then you know makeup is optional. Yeah, totally.

Amy 16:26

It's like the cherry on top. Yeah. So

Alisha 16:29

I really focus on serums and collagen. You know, I'm really big on that right now. Just making sure that I have the collagen and the probiotics, diet. All of that goes into like my self care and beauty routine. So I shared the other day about collagen. My nutritionist has me mixing it in the collagen powder the proteins in my coffee, because we're looking at my diet and ways to incorporate protein. And she's like, why don't you try the collagen peptides? So I've been doing that for about a month now. And I like Which brand is it? Is it the this is the Vital Proteins? Yeah, so I'm having that. Um, they also have the water, the collagen water, the shots. A lot of people don't realize it helps with the skin elasticity. So you know, you want to make sure that you are supplementing the collagen. You want to find good collagen, because there are a lot of things out there and so it's clean. I also look at the probiotics, the supplements, I make sure that you know I have all the vitamins

Katie 17:37

do you have a probiotic that you like, specifically?

Alisha 17:40

I don't have a specific probiotic. I mean, I'll be honest, I just make sure that you know, it's a good quality product. Um, Trader Joe's and I you know, we'll get to that get to that out and pick up something at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Um, there are a lot of skincare products that have probiotics in them. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know though. You know, you can get a moisturizer. So those are the I stick to collagen. Vitamin C, of course. And right now the hydration like I've been adding those liquid hydration packs. Electrolytes to water. Yeah. Be more hydrated, especially with the warmer weather. Yeah.

Amy 18:25

There you go.

Alisha 18:26

So for me, it's really about inside out. Yeah, no, I really want to take want to take care of, you know, inside and then you know, the skin itself.

Amy 18:38

Right, then you're young gets better and then you just put serums and all those things that just enhance you mentioned serums what serums Do you like? Moisturizing or Yeah,

Alisha 18:48

so like moisturizing serum, was just checking out this Hyaluronic serum that I picked up. So I am into making sure that my skin is moisturized. That's a big thing for me, especially going out in our weather. It's very humid, but just being out in the sun for me, so I you know saram is great. Especially at nighttime. I love like my time series. I'd laugh because there's a meme that something like it has you looking like a glazed doughnut. Yeah. So like, under eyes is you know and vitamin C serums are a big for me. Yeah,

Katie 19:27

yeah, the vitamin C, your skin is so bright. It's it's that vitamin C two I always notice a difference. So I'm using my vitamin C and I'm not it's interesting that you mentioned the allergies because I feel like a lot of people don't think about that when they're looking at their skincare routine. Like my mom has a latex allergy and I can't tell you how many times she called me and she said I picked up a new product and now my eyes are swollen shut because it has that in there and she doesn't think to check for it. And like you said also like shellfish allergies and everything that can be found in skincare. Yeah, um, yeah, that's right. Actually, no one heard

Alisha 20:01

that I got a facial HydraFacial and the esthetician say like, at the end, we're doing a ceremony. She's like, Hey, do you have a shellfish allergy. And I said, why? And she said, Oh, the, the serum that I use has like the glucosamine and chondroitin. So a lot of people take that for like cartilage and you know, the jump bone and joints. But it's in the serum that she had. And she said, I need to know because if I put this on, you have a shellfish allergy. And I was like, thanks for asking. I wonder how many people use these products and don't ask?

Katie 20:37

Yeah, I'm sure and have no idea that Yeah, yeah. 100%

Alisha 20:41

Yeah. So that's definitely something that I think people don't pay attention to. I know, they don't you know, picking up skincare, you don't think about a food allergy.

Amy 20:51

Right? Right. It's so it's so true. Okay, moving on, because I want to ask you, because I saw this on your Instagram a while ago, and we were DMing about it. And I want to hear about this because so we had a dermatologist on our show a while ago Dr. Nazarian who told us about QUO first time I had heard of that and I was like, Oh my God, I need to look into this ASAP. But I saw that you looked into it. I don't know if you've got the procedure, but tell us all about it. And for reference, this is the cellulite Yes. Yeah. Treatment. So yeah, girl about it.

Alisha 21:20

Yes. So I actually I went when I saw I was like, oh my goodness, like I need this I was

Amy 21:26

it like at a doctor's office or one of those men thought yes, a

Alisha 21:29

dermatologist. And then so I went in and I listened to it. I didn't get it done. But I did the consultation because honestly, I thought that I really needed it. But I didn't have a lot of the cellulite on my on my on my butt. So what I did have, it was like some type of dimple. That may be like a birthmark, but what I was told was that it wasn't going to fill it. Like it wasn't going to do anything, if I got it. So I'm like, alright, well, I'll just live with it. It's, it's cute. But the way the product works is it helps to release like the fiber, the fiber fibers so that the skin have flattened out because a lot of people think that it's fat. You know, this Oh, I'm fat because they think only fat people and have these, you know, these dimples or these areas, but it really works to release the five release of fiber so that it smooths out the skin. And what's interesting is, as a pharmacist, I recognize that the name of the medicine like the the the the generic name, should I say and I was like, Oh, that is I know that that's something that's another drug and they say oh yeah, it is used for something else. So I thought it was interesting that the company found another use for the media, which is very similar. Not it's not the same as Botox, but you do know like Botox can be used for obviously cosmetic, but it's also used for migraines and bladder and wedding. So it's a lot of has a lot of other uses. So they found that this particular quot was a it was you know, able to be used for the dimples. And I saw that I thought it was amazing. And there are women there who were really excited about it and wanted to use it. One of the side effects, minimal side effects, but I think it was bruising, which was you know what they said, but I don't I didn't feel like it was something that was super. I wouldn't stop me from getting it. I just

Amy 23:31

And when they say it like actually works because there hasn't been anything for cellulite that actually works.

Alisha 23:37

Again, I mean, looking at the photos, it says they do show before and afters. Yeah, you know, you do see, see see some results. But I always like to I want to see somebody that has a lot of it. Like, you know, right, like major transformation I want to just had a little bit then yeah, but as someone who had like all these areas and then it gets more expensive. Because you have to you have to use so so much of the product. Yeah, now they say that the longevity of it. It's supposed to last a long time.

Amy 24:11

Yeah, I was gonna like what did they say? Is it permanent? Or is it just

Alisha 24:15

yeah, if they said it's supposed to last for a while it hasn't been studied that long. Yeah. Are you gonna say okay after five years, you know, like with Botox we know you know, after a couple of months you have to go back and you know, get get the area redone. But before that, she said right now it's just the studies, they don't have enough long enough studies to know if it's, you know, permanent or not.

Amy 24:39

And injured. How is it administered?

Alisha 24:41

It's a little injections. Okay. It's funny, I still have my, my papers. So yeah, it was like injected, and it's the package of three. So it's like a series of three injections and I know Till that, I would probably need a fourth treatment because it was like a deep dimple. Mm hmm. Sounds like oh, well, that's to me. That's the part that I really want to get rid of. Right. And they it goes by the severity like mild, moderate or severe. But, I mean, if you if someone wants to get it, I mean, I think it's worth it. If you have, you know, small enough areas. Yeah, it's not something that I feel like would alleviate, when you would just have a completely smooth, but

Amy 25:34

you do seem to get a commie Amy looks very interested. Well, this is my biggest complaint because I always have I always have like, dimples on like, the back of my thighs and the size and it's always bothered me, but there's nothing you can really do about it. So when she told me about this, I was like, Oh, my God, that's so interesting. So yes, I'm definitely going to look into it at some point for

Alisha 25:56

sure. 10 minutes, like 10 minutes.

Amy 25:59

That's crazy. Yeah, I did read or I feel like maybe Dr. Jones area told us that, like the bruising is pretty bad afterwards. So you just have to do it. Like, when you know, you're going to be covered up

Alisha 26:09

like, so that's like, that's like the photo that they you know that they get somebody it's like that not that bad to me. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it's like, hard to say animal. Yeah. Like, I want to see someone. Right. Information. I thought that I had a lot and like, you actually don't have that much. Oh, okay.

Amy 26:32

Like, now I feel better. Okay. Like,

Alisha 26:35

I'll always love to read and hear about, like, new thing. Me too. So that will

Katie 26:41

there's a new one that I want to know if either of you guys have heard about have you heard about Lipo Light?

Amy 26:47

Like a light I want to

Alisha 26:49

when you're awake. You're awake. Yeah. And it's just like, light for a week or something.

Katie 26:55

It's an but it's a it's a it's like a light treatment instead of the cool sculpting where they freeze. Okay, it's the opposite. It's it's a light, I'm gonna actually go talk to get a console about it this week. But it's just like, if you have trouble spots, you know, like, oh, wow, I've got the love handles that I can never seem to get rid of. It's for that. And it's a it's a light where the heat. I don't know that it's more of like a red light or an infrared light or the heat or something is supposed to dissolve and loosen up the fat cells. And I think it's less invasive and safer than the CoolSculpting Oh, wow. Which I've recently who was it? Amy? Amy's mom sent us an article. I think it was Linda Bandula. Yeah, it's been sculpting and had a horrible adverse reaction to it. Did you see that, Alisha? Oh, yeah.

Amy 27:43

If you read if you Google all over, it's yeah.

Katie 27:47

It's crazy. It completely deformed her body. So I mean, you know, it's that was she was allergic to something that they were using. So that was a one off. But But yeah, so I just wanted to see if either because I've heard about a

Alisha 28:00

plastic surgeon doing a week labeled like a week like, oh, that's different. Okay. Yeah. And I'll say, Oh, wow, I wouldn't want to be a week.

Amy 28:10

You're like, knock me out? Oh,

Katie 28:12

yeah. That doesn't sound like fun. Alright, I want to talk about your love yourself Self care to do list because we see them on Instagram. And I think they're brilliant. So tell us a little bit about that.

Alisha 28:28

So the idea for that came about? Because I realized a lot of people didn't really know what to do for self care. Mm hmm. Yeah. Always ask to say what did you do for self care this week? And then all the answers were manicure? pedicure. Right? Know that. There's other things that you could do besides that, like, oh, right, like really what, like, whatever you want to do. So I started that putting together the to do list. For a little background for my social media. I used to share things to do, like places like events, you know, what's going on in the week on the weekend. And a lot of people enjoy that. And I said, Well, I want to change it up to where people don't feel like they have to go somewhere. Or like it has to be like something that everybody who's going to like a concert and wants to make it easy so that I've picked 12 things. It's like a little bingo card and my followers from out of state made me realize that I have things on there that only local people can do. So think about that. Like okay, well, I'll tell them you get a free free square or something. They love it because it gives people things to do. They like to check it off and I look for things that don't cost money. Because that's trouble for a lot of people. They don't want to spend the money, things that don't cost a lot have a lot of time because those are the two major ones. You know, I don't want to I don't Have time. And the idea is to make people realize how they that they can incorporate self care into their daily lives. And it doesn't have to be something that takes a lot of time or it takes a lot of effort or it's hard. So I love doing those.

Amy 30:16

Yeah, I am. I really liked it too. And I think our listeners will like it, because it's like, we're all about sort of this approachable, accessible, wellness or well being. And this is exactly that. It's like, I'm just reading a few that you have on marches lists. So like, you know, call a friend, instead of texting, have brunch in a new spot, drink some water or support a local business, buy some flowers, do something fun. It's just like small bite sized, really attainable things that help with your well being. So I love that. So we look forward to seeing those every month. Yeah,

Katie 30:47

so yeah, it's true. And it's to your point, like everyone self care, a lot of people have this idea of what it should be, and that it's usually very time cumbersome, or it's going to cost a lot of money or very extravagant, very, like, you know, just over the top. And the littlest thing, like you just said, pick up the phone and have a nice phone call instead of a text, you know, sit back with a cup of coffee, call your best friend and chat it up for an hour that is loving yourself. And yeah, you know, those really simple things that I think some people are so busy in life, and they don't, they don't put themselves into caring for themselves first, of course, are not going to think that is self care. So it's they're, they're great little reminders, I really appreciate it.

Amy 31:27

And also, I wanted you to elaborate on what I talked about in the beginning around strong women don't take breaks, because it's so true, like this stigma of like, you gotta hustle. And you can't, you got to grind it out. So talk to us about what your

Unknown Speaker 31:42

Yeah, I ran across a quote A while ago, and it said like, there's no award for overworked female of the year or something. And I was like, That is so true. And I don't know where my I think it's obviously it's generational. As women feel like we have to be busy, or we have to do all the things. You know, even as moms, you know, there's like the soup. They're the super moms out there. Because and we call them super moms because we feel like they get everything done. They show it for everybody. But like, I don't want to be that I don't want I don't want to be that supermom. Mm hmm. And because I'm if I choose to not do all of those things, that doesn't make me a bad mom. And I really wanted to change that, that narrative and have let people understand that it's okay to take breaks, it's okay to say no. It's okay to sleep in. Like I don't understand. It doesn't, it doesn't make you a better mom, because you can. You're tired all the time. And you know, you're out all day all day and you bring the kids everywhere. doesn't make you a better mom than I am. You know, cook. I'm a rested mom because absolutely

Amy 33:01

arrested mom is a good mom. So yeah,

Alisha 33:05

you know, that's the, the, the, the big piece and even working like working moms, you know, you work. And we already feel like we have a lot to do and a lot to prove. And it's just like, I don't want women to feel like they have to burn out. So yeah, that they're valuable.

Amy 33:25

It's so true. I work in, in corporate America. And definitely, I'm always looking around at the women and the leaders in my company. And the ones that are balanced, you can tell and the ones that are not you can tell especially like pre pandemic, when everyone was traveling and doing all this stuff. And I could always tell the people that weren't taking care of themselves, because they would always get colds, right, they always look tire bags, and you know, like you could just tell, and I think is women leaders like being able to support other women and be like, Yeah, you know, take a break or do this or like making sure that people are taking care of themselves in, in a work environment is so important. Because I think definitely there's this mindset of like, moving all the time and being busy and just not taking that step back. It's so important that we all continue to like make sure the women around us are okay and hanging in there and not, you know, burning both ends of the candle or whatever that whatever that phrase is.

Katie 34:29

I think there's there's something to like there's strength in knowing your limitations and I don't mean limitations of what you can't achieve but your physical limitations and you need to stay balanced and healthy and present so that you can do everything like actually that much better because you do feel well and you are you know, I mean when you're when you're frazzled and like you said burden burning and on both ends. It's like that's, for me personally, that's when I start to really See, my family suffers. And, you know, it's like it's not self care. It's, I wish people would not look at it so much as like a luxury or a vanity and more a necessity.

Alisha 35:12

Yeah. Yeah.

Amy 35:13

And, and, and altering things to help achieve yourself care. Like, for example, if I have a business trip, I try to go in, like, if it's an early morning meeting the next day or whatever, I'll try to go in the night before. So I can have some downtime, and I can be rested. Whereas like, some people will just like, fly in a plane, go straight to a meeting, go straight to a dinner, do calls in the car. And I'm like, I just don't understand, I could not do that. Because it's too much. There's no downtime. And like, it's just like making sure that you're scheduling your own cell for what you know, is going to work for you. And like how your body reacts, I think the older you get, you start to realize like, okay, you know, here's my schedule for tomorrow, let me like, figure out when I'm going to take a break and have some downtime. So I'm feeling present and focused and rejuvenated. But it

Alisha 35:59

was interesting that you said that because I reached out. So I'm always about looking for ways to teach people about self care. And I reached out to a magazine and publication I don't, I won't say the name. But I said, you know, I read your magazine every time. You know, I travel, I check into a check into a hotel. And I said, Why don't you ever talk about self care for travelers? Or you know, and she's like, well, our market is, you know, usually for business travel or recreation said, Okay, I said, But when people travel for business, they need to know that it's okay to take a break for that from that to like, your, you know, you're there for your, your company or for work. But they're, they need to know it's okay to have downtime to, like, it's still work. Still work. And she's like, Oh, my God, I never thought about that was like, Okay, I see. Like, okay, but it's like you're traveling for work. And it's like, you're, you're I got this meeting, I have to do this, I have to pack up. So it's like your mind you really not know, I'm just traveling for business. That's no fun. Right? Really?

Amy 37:01

Yeah. Why not? Yeah, it's funny. They say that. So I work in, in hospitality and travel, and so work with a lot of hotel brands. So there are definitely a lot of hotel brands now that are focused on wellness well being even while you're traveling for business, taking care of yourself, like all that kind of stuff. So yeah, it's super important. And I think like, things are moving in that in that direction, which is great. So tell us about self care at home, because I see all your halls to like TJ Maxx and Trader Joe's and all that stuff. So give us some give us some goods on that.

Alisha 37:37

Yes. So that really started during the pandemic for me, because I was I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want to go to a spa. I didn't want to get my nails done at home at a place. So I decided to just create little self care days at the house. And my favorite places to go or TJ Maxx Trader Joe's Marshalls target. I mean, that's all women, I will put that thing, right. Yes. And it also gave me a way to share that with my followers too, because you don't always have to spend the money. So I make a weekly trip to any one of those but most often TJ Maxx and I just browse the aisles, and I find, you know, products to things to try. And it's not expensive sometimes. I mean, I'd literally spend less than $20. Mm hmm. I'm in there. But I'll pick up a mask a sheet mask. I mean, there's tons of them, a bath salts, lotion, body scrubs, candles, all of those things, and then just go home and create my own little self care space. And I look forward to it. Yeah, that's nice. And it's just like, oh, I pick this up. And there's a lot of brands in there that you know, it's favorite brands. save a little money on them. So that is totally, yeah, that's like the highlight highlight of my week, I guess. Like I know, on Tuesdays, they used to restock every Tuesday. I know a lot of people I don't know if people knew that they got a shipment in Tuesday. So that's how I schedule my little time in there. That's a max and then I asked and I said isn't every Tuesday she's like, Oh honey, we start bringing in trucks every day. Now it's like but you know, I like to share that because it gives, you know, other ideas. So whereas you can pick up the socks, these comfy socks and you know, make a plan to Okay, Friday night I'm going to stay in. I'm going to wear these comfy socks and drink some tea. So that allows me to share other ways that you can practice self care, so I love it.

Amy 39:47

Yeah, that's

Katie 39:48

that I used to live. I moved to Connecticut recently from the Cincinnati area Alisha and there was a TJ Maxx by my daughter's school so I would drop her off and I would go to the TJ Maxx and do the like same exact thing. Also I would pick up kids clothes like you can occasionally get like, I know

Amy 40:02

you find good stuff. Yeah, yeah,

Katie 40:04

I have, but I haven't found my local TJ Maxx yet I need to check it. I don't know where it is. I'm looking for in Connecticut. Yeah, that's all Trader Joe's has good stuff there. Amy, I know you've highlighted a couple of products. So

Amy 40:21

I'm just saying to Katie, like I've been I've done a couple of reviews on the show recently that Trader Joe's products that I just like, same thing. I was just wandering down the aisles. I'm like, Oh my God, look at all this beauty stuff made like a great rosewater spray, just like five bucks or something. They have a really good eye cream. They have so many fun things. I was like, This is so great. I love finding stuff like that.

Alisha 40:43

And you know what I did for so every year for Christmas beauty. Oh, so like the advent calendar? Yeah, I just did that. Yeah, they do. So I always get those. And then I like let's meet up so that way I can try like everything they have. And they of course they have the seasonal things like the pumpkin mask. So I'll pick that up. They have like this blueberry exfoliant.

Amy 41:08

Yeah. So Alisha tell us about your podcast. I know you launched it, I think a few years ago now and the community you're creating around, fly, which I love what that stands for. It's so cool.

Alisha 41:19

So the podcast, supply widow podcast. And what I realized after shortly after losing my husband, was that there weren't many outlets for widows, particularly younger widows. And I wanted a space that allowed us to talk to each other and, you know, hear hear stories, because the conversations that were were going on for me, were from older women who were like, Oh, well, you know, you shouldn't be doing that. Or, you know, you shouldn't, and I would never get remarried. So I felt like, that's not what I want to hear as a young widow. So I wanted to be able to put that out there for other widows like myself, so that they would be encouraged in you know, they could resonate with a lot of things were going on COVID had just, you know, picked up and just started in 2020. So at that time, it was a lot of younger widows, because you know, their husbands were dying from COVID. So I got to put this out here. And I did so I launched it. December 2020. And, but it was initially supposed to be as like, I was not expecting it to be like every podcast that was launching every week. I just got so many stories from women who wanted to share. So I think now my like 56 episodes, wow, wow, that's amazing. And I really enjoy it. It's a great community. I've received a lot of feedback from the widows. I think most importantly, it's showing that you can grieve and be happy at the same time, because that's something that people don't think that that can you those two things can exist together, that you can have to be one of the other because if you're happy, then that means you don't miss your husband anymore. Mm hmm. So I said, That's apps, that's like, absurd, that's not true. So that's what the podcast is about. And I'm moving into more of my life now and not so much. I mean, I do have widows Come on, but I like to share what's going on in my life. Because it's almost been three years, I'm ready to date. So like that part, you know, it's, I like to share so that we can all talk about it and know what to expect and, you know, validate your feelings, because it's a range of emotions, and I just enjoy it.

Amy 43:46

That's great. You're awesome. Your,

Katie 43:48

your positivity, it just exudes so much, especially in your podcast, I was listening earlier. And it's just it's really amazing to out of a situation that I can't begin to grasp that you experienced that you've come out with handling it with so much positivity. And where does that come from? Do you were you always a very positive person?

Alisha 44:15

No, I wasn't, um, I had a lot of life struggles. For me. I was in a domestic violence relationship prior to meeting my husband. And it just I had gone through so much. And I think I have, I felt like I was I had already rebuilt myself from like that previous relationship. And when I met my husband, it was like his personality. He was just bubbly personality. Just enjoy life. And I remember I share an early, earlier app that one of the first episodes is just our conversation. Like, I don't know if he truly knew. I mean, he had a heart attack. So it was something that was you know, unexpected. But I remember he had a conversation. And he just said like, if something ever happens to me, just miss me and let me go And I was like, oh my god, like, What are you talking about? And I knew that kind of person he was he just enjoyed life to the fullest. And I don't mean, sure he may have died with regrets of not being able to visit places or do things, but he woke up and live life every single day. Like, some days I was like, and he was an attorney. So he's worked for himself. And he would just pick up and say, Let's go to Puerto Rico tomorrow. I'm like, I can't do that. I have shop, like, work for yourself. But I just, I wanted to carry that with me, because that's how he was and my close friends and everyone that knew him. On they understand. So I know a lot of people are looking who don't know us or didn't know us. So you know, are looking like, oh my god, like, she's, how can she be like this, but I just know that this is what he will want. Like, he wouldn't want me to be sad, he wouldn't want me to not enjoy life. And that is where it comes from. For me.

Amy 45:56

That's wonderful. I mean, you're you're carrying you're carrying through his legacy, yeah, with your

Katie 46:01

dad, and, and really, I'm sure inspiring and uplifting and empowering so many of these widows in your community. So they're really blessed to have you to listen to you on the podcast and to turn to you it's, it's really beautiful. So congratulations on all of

Alisha 46:17

them my son. Because a lot of people meet my son and his, he's a happiest kid. Oh, the happiest kid, and, you know, I don't understand. I tell people, you know, kids feed off of, you know, he knows how I am. And he sees my personality, and he is genuinely happy. He's a great personality. And it's just that you can tell that we are really, we are really happy. Happiness, and it helps to make it and it spills on to other people too. So I enjoy it.

Katie 46:53

Yeah, you're spreading joy. Did I did I hear that you did? Was it like 2012 dates in a row? 21 days in a row was a challenge or something?

Alisha 47:01

Yeah, so I'm working on that I committed to do 12 dates in 90 days. was like, that's a lot. I'm like, actually, like, once a week. Right? Um, I had a dating coach on a few episodes back and we talked about it. And she said, you just got to get out there. Like, what do you mean? Like get out there have practice dates, do whatever, you know, just so you can have conversation. And what's interesting is when you as a widow, men will just have that they just come out of nowhere, right? You're just like, oh my god, like and so it's like always been there where people like all me take you out for dinner or for a drink. So it's just now that I'm like, Okay, fine. You know, you guys. Okay, let's go. But, um, the 12 dates. So when when we came up with a 12 days or 90 days, it isn't all dates with like romantic dates. It is date like friend dates, it's with my family dates with my son. So I want people to be able to see that you know, you and you can get yourself so I'm right. I'm putting together like a journal of like recapping dates. And when I finished it'll see that it's a date with myself. It's a date with my son. It's a date with my best friend from college. So it's all of those dates, but I do have some dates with some some guys in there. Like I've had a couple so

Katie 48:28

how's it going?

Alisha 48:30

It's it's going for that, you know, dating I haven't dated. It's been a long time. Like I've met my husband until 2010. So I mean, it's been like that long since I've been out of like the dating game. So just relearning you know, trying to figure out things and how people think and then also dating as a 42 year old so that different you know, you're in their 30s is I just felt like it's I don't want to do that like can we just go to listen to some live music or right right so it's but it's fun because i You don't realize how much you miss getting dressed up and having conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Yeah, I have my girlfriends I have my son to talk to but just talking to someone else about life and getting to know them and I like that part.

Katie 49:26

Nice. Yeah. Good for you.

Amy 49:29

So it's typically on the show one of us will do a product review but since we have you here we were thinking you could give us your latest and greatest what you're loving right now give us a little product review Alisha.

Alisha 49:42

so I actually my favorite thing right now. I love mask. I love a face mask but loops. Have you guys tried the loops? Um no. So loops is and it's a clean skincare brand but they have these face masks, and they're really like a gel gel face masks. But what I really love about them is they stay in place, you know, like a lot of masks like you. You have to like, set up, but the way that their masks are cut out, it's like when you put them on and I was looking to see if I

Amy 50:18

had is it loops like L oh, PS Yes. lol

Alisha 50:21

Yes. So they have the maths and then they have the I've under eye patches. But I love the maths because the way that they're cut out, they just go on perfectly, because it's kind of like two different pieces in one. But you can like walk around the house.

Amy 50:37

And you know, you don't like sliding off your face. So it's like it's

Alisha 50:41

a gel, and they make them they have different ones. So there's like a of reset. There's like a vitamin C one, there's a detox. So I like those like you can get a package is like five of them. And it's like the different ones. But I love them. So keep it on for I usually do like 20 minutes, okay, just because that's like, I got little I have like a little routine where I'll drink tea. I mean, read a book. So that's all like in my self care, but that's like one of my Sunday. Things like my Sunday little streets. And it's easy. Right? So ended. It's kind of like a when my son sees me with my mask on. He's like, Okay, I'm a Libra. So, yeah,

Amy 51:30

to try that brand. Yeah, yes. Good. That's great. All right, let's get into our rap session. So what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Alisha 51:43

So I like a Once I apply serums I like to use I have these little ice scopes. Or and I have one so I like beauty tools. I love to use like the wind The cons of wands, or the ACE ology has some ice groups. And yeah, I just sit there and I massage my face. So that's one of like my favorite hacks a lot of puffy eyes you know from crying. It's allergy season, which is approaching and that's just something that I try to incorporate in my beauty routine daily using the little globes, put them in the refrigerator so they're you know really cold and then just move them onto the fly so like that like

Amy 52:30

that trellis I've seen those and I've always wanted on but I haven't animate it's also good

Alisha 52:33

for you know, like tension headaches. Yeah, I you know, not I'm not only use them for like under eye puffiness but like, you know if I've had a stressful day or I've had a headache, you know, I got my eyebrows microbladed retouch. So like I've been like putting them on there a little bit when they were sore. So those are like, that's like my treats like the beauty the beauty tools we have like the the PMD I'm like the moist the cleanser. cleanser tool, but there's on the other side there's a rose quartz that you can just apply I used to apply serum see your face too because it heats up like that as well.

Katie 53:17

So I want to try those I've seen the gloves I need to buy them I use the like the rollers also sometimes with a tension headache around the jaw and I feel like the gloves would be good for that to be a bit tight jaw. Nice. Okay, all right, this next one we call your five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dried off Uber pain Do you they're five minutes away. What are you going to do to get into that Uber on time What are your holy grails your go twos to get there and ready for your day?

Alisha 53:41

So the thing would be is I don't really have like an elaborate makeup routine. Like if I get my makeup done for an event I'm going to go to someone I'm not very good at I can apply skincare all day long. I just not my thing. So I have my eyebrows already done. So five minutes. I mean I'm totally throwing on a tinted moisturizer like you know that's easy has SPF in it and you know the tent? A little bit of bronzer or highlighter on on my cheekbones. The cream blush super easy, you know, just I mean, I really learned just put my hands in it and then rub it on. And some lip gloss and mascara, huh? Yes, it?

Amy 54:21

Yeah. Great. And you were saying before your skin so good. You don't really you don't need anything.

Katie 54:27

You don't need a lot. Yeah, that's true. All right, last one is how do you maintain your daily nirvana? What keeps you calm and balanced?

Alisha 54:35

I like affirmations and meditation. So as soon as I start my day, I wake up early. Try to get up 30 minutes earlier than my son because that's when I can get my quiet time in so that's when you're listening to like meditation. I have apps calm app. And I get that's how I get my time and you know, I'm be able to start the day and I'm not rushing. Because you know, if you start your day rushing that sets the tone for the rest that your entire day. Yeah, I know when I'm running late or something, that's just it. But when I have that moment, so just get started and everything else flows from there.

Katie 55:17

Yeah, it's so true when you when you start your day off late, it's just like it stacks. Like one more thing. Yeah. Because you're behind on

Amy 55:26

money. Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. I was listening. I heard a podcast this week, I forgot who was mentioning this. But there was like a stat. I don't know the exact stack, stat. I'll find it. But it was like something like the first 15 minutes of your day, determine the rest of your day. Right. So if you're calm, your day is gonna be kind of calm and chill if you Yeah, so it was interesting. I never thought about it that way. But it's so true.

Alisha 55:50

Yeah, yep, I believe it. Mm hmm.

Amy 55:53

Absolutely. All right. Well, so where are where can our audience find you before we Katie, we'll probably close out with a mantra. But where can we find you? Give us all your

Unknown Speaker 56:05

hang out on social media. Instagram is Dr. Alisha Reed. Website is super easy. It's Dralishareed.com and Twitter is Dr. Alisha Reed.

Katie 56:16

All right. Well, Alisha, thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure getting to know you and hearing your story. And we love all of your self care recommendations and tools. It's it's just all really great stuff. So thanks. So let's close with a quick little mantra. And you know, I'd like to say this, Amy, I've been thinking about this lately. We use the word mantra a little like loosely or flippantly. And I just want to call out to our listeners, like, mantras are very can be very personal and very important. And not everything that we say every time is necessarily a mantra. Sometimes it's just a reminder or an equation. Yeah, a quote just one thing to take with you is really what we want to send you off with. So this week is self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what's left of you. And I thought that was pretty appropriate with with Dr. Alisha Reed here today. That's so much.

Amy 57:13

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye

Episode 46 - Sound Bath Healing And A Personal Journey With Alopecia (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 46 Sound Bath Healing And A Personal Journey With Alopecia, This Is Susy Scheiffelin, The Copper Vessel.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Susy: 0:34

take a deep inhale through your nose and a fall, exhale through your mouth Take another deep inhale and a fall exhale imagine a beautiful white light washing over your body. Relax, relaxing your face, your shoulders, your arms. Your heart, your belly, your legs, your feet. Each of your 10 toes allow this beautiful white light to fill you and healing energy and a sense of peace Take one more deep inhale, breathing the light into your heart. And as you exhale, Shine the light out into the world then when you're ready gently blink your eyes open and that was

Amy: 2:43

amazing. Thank you for sharing that. We needed it.

Katie: 2:47

Yes.

Amy: 2:48

Oh my gosh. Thank you. That was beautiful. Okay, so it's Amy and Katie. Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family are with the beautiful, amazing Susy Schieffelin of the copper vessel. She is a Los Angeles based sound healer, reiki master Kundalini yoga teacher and inspirational speaker who has led sound baths, viewed or attended by millions of people all over the world. I've been lucky enough to join one of them and it was incredible. And that sound just took me back to Europe where we were a few years ago together which is crazy how time flies. Suzy has brought healing to employees at companies such as Google, Pandora and Nordstrom has played crystal bowls with notable artists including LeAnn Rimes, and the Los Angeles Philharmonic and has been featured in publications such as Wall Street Journal, Vogue, USA Today, and Los Angeles Times. Suzy is known for her light filled presence and ability to guide people towards radiant and empowered lives characterized by self love, serenity, abundance and joy. She's the founder of the sound healers Academy and innovative crystal alchemy, sound healing and spiritual business mentorship training, serves as a self love advocate for brands, has created custom product lines and offers deeply restorative crystal alchemy, sound baths, ceremonies, and healing rituals, both in person and online. We follow Susy at the copper vessel on Instagram, we encourage you to get on her Instagram ASAP because she has so much amazing content and she has one minute sound bath like you just experienced. She has beautiful content and it's just so soothing. So welcome to the show. Susie, thank you so, so much for joining us today. It's so good to see you.

Susy: 4:39

Thank you so much, Amy. It's so wonderful to be here with you. Thank you for such a beautiful introduction. Hello, Katie. It's such a joy to be all together. I'm so excited to chat today.

Amy: 4:49

And I failed to mention that she's 33 weeks pregnant and glowing and looks just so radiant. And you just got married this week, right? Yes. Oh my god. congratulate you so much wonderful things going on.

Susy: 5:03

Thank you so much. It's such an incredible time. So

Amy: 5:07

great. Well, Susy, we start at our show doing something we call our weekly nirvana or nirvana of the week and it's just something this week, big or small that brought us joy brought us a little smile. Just you know, let us kind of be happy for that moment. So I'm gonna send it over to Katie to have her give us her Nirvana the

Katie: 5:26

week. Sure. Thanks, Amy. Well, Susy, thank you for being here. It's such a pleasure to meet you. You are you're radiating your energy is definitely like kicking through to us and I love it. So I don't know I have so many Nirvana's. I don't have to choose from between that soundbite that we Susie just provided for us. That was complete nirvana. And I am on a little weekend romantic getaway with my husband. So we've had a lot of nice moments, the past couple of days. But I think the biggest nirvana for me this week is I finished a transcendental meditation course last week, and I've been starting TM all week. I've been double. I started it two weeks ago, but I'm getting into my daily practice. And it's been really amazing and kind of like altering life altering innocence already, which was surprising. It's been really profound. So I've been having a lot of Nirvana there. Twice a dowel, 20 minutes or more.

Amy: 6:19

Wow, yeah, it's more compliant. Amy, what was very. Um, so I actually went, I haven't gotten a facial in forever. And I needed a little self care yesterday. So I went to get a facial and it was so relaxing. I just, it was kind of like a no frills facial, which I kind of like just like in and out. But it was so relaxing, just to sit there and do nothing for an hour like no kids, no work, no nothing and just lay there and like, clean my face. And I felt so good afterwards. And so just like shiny and radiant and refreshed. So it was definitely one of my Nirvana's this week for sure, along with a sound bath, of course, because that just like totally relaxed me. What about you, Susy? I mean, there's so many I know you are married. But

Susy: 7:04

there's so many Oh, my gosh, I love yours. And I would say I mean, it would be our marriage ceremony this week, which was so beautiful and so special. We are planning a big wedding this summer, and we've had it in quite some time. Um, and when we plan that wedding, I had said to mark my husband, I really want to get married on 222 22. And he said, Well, it's a Tuesday, I don't know if everyone's gonna be able to make it. So we decided to just do a really beautiful, intimate spiritual ceremony. And it was just the two of us and one of our spiritual teachers. And it was absolute Nirvana, it really was we dropped into a beautiful meditation, and we shared promises with each other. And then we went for a walk on the beach at sunset in Malibu, and it was, I mean, so perfect. And the wedding that we're going to have this summer is going to be equally as special, but it's gonna be really big in the Catholic Church, and then in a garden with lots and lots of people. And so it felt like the perfect balance to what we have to look forward to and what we're, you know, really spiritually committing to each other.

Amy: 8:15

As we so amazing. Congratulations, again, that sounds so dreamy, and perfect and beautiful. And I love that it was on to Juju to jail. I mean, that's so special, you'll always have that. That's great. And then it sounds like the summer your wedding will be amazing to how fun you get the best of both worlds.

Susy: 8:32

Yeah, so definitely, definitely a week of nirvana. Amazing.

Amy: 8:37

So awesome. So let's get into some quickfire questions so our listeners can get to know you. So give us a quick intro like to you to what you do, what sound healing is, and all of all of all the things

Susy: 8:52

amazing. So I'm Susy I'm a crystal alchemy sound healer and a Reiki Master and a yoga teacher and who I love sharing sound baths with people online and in person. And the reason why I love to do it is because it had such a huge impact on my own life. About seven years ago, I was in a really tough spot, I was in a very dark place. And sound healing really helped me to reconnect with light and peace. And one of the first meditation practices that I began to connect with actually Katie was TM Transcendental Meditation, which is such an amazing practice. And my mind is so wild that sometimes just having my mantra wasn't enough and when I went to a sound bath, it really opened me up to this new sense of peace. And so as I attended sound baths, and began to really feel the light comes back into my eyes after being in such a place of darkness and anxiety and having panic attacks sometimes every day, my life transformed and so I felt called to learn it and begin sharing it. And from there, I shared it with millions of people all around the world. And now I teach other people how to share it as well. Because I find that you know, as we heal ourselves, so often we feel this deep calling to help bring that healing to others. So it feels really great to be in the space of both sharing and teaching and empowering other teachers and healers to share their unique gifts

Amy: 10:24

to it's so awesome. And the first time I ever experienced it was at one of your sound baths. And it was incredible. I had never really heard about it before. And I did it and it was so transformative. I it just it's such an incredible experience. So for our listeners who may not know what a sound bath is, can you kind of talk about like, how long it is why it's beneficial and sort of like the the flow of it so people can understand and and do one?

Susy: 10:54

Absolutely. So you guys just got to experience a little taste of a sound bath. So you might not be wondering what many people wonder when they hear what a sound bath is for the first time which is, am I going to get wet do I need to take my clothes off and there's almost always no water involved in the sound bath unless you choose to listen to a virtual sound bath in the bathtub, which a lot of people actually do choose to do. But sound baths can be created by a number of different instruments from Crystal bowls to Tibetan singing bowls to gongs to didgeridoo, chimes, and the list goes on. For me. I really love working with crystal alchemy singing bowls, which are bowls, they look almost like bowls or phases. They're very beautiful, and they're made of 99.9% clear quartz crystal. And then the alchemy bowls that I play are colorful because they're infused with the intentions of other crystals and gemstones and precious metals and earth elements. So platinum or rose quartz or and crystal is not just a woowoo thing. I know that crystals have started to become pretty mainstream, but crystals actually, you know, they hold energy and information. They help to conduct that energy. And so when we're working with crystal singing bowls, they're conducting and holding healing intentions and energy. So when I play the bowls, each of them has their own note. And the notes correspond with our chakras, which is our energy centers. So the sounds resonate with our body and they also entrain with our brainwaves, helping to shift our brainwaves into brainwave states associated with deep states of rest and relaxation and meditation and healing. So if you're like me, like what I was talking about, my mind is so busy and I have a lot of energy, it's always going, the sound can help to sort of bypass that and shift your brainwaves into the calmer brainwave state. So, sound baths range in length from one minute, I mean, something's better than nothing, even if you move 30 seconds sound bad, take a few deep breaths. It's amazing. Um, but they also can go on for you know, 30 minutes, I would say minor typically 30 to 45 minutes. Sometimes you'll have a sound bout that's 60 minutes or 90 minutes. And that can be really deep and really profound. And essentially what you do is you lie down and you listen, my sound bites usually include some form of guidance, because for me, my mind needs that I find that a lot of they just like I'm like, okay, and I'm just listening to sounds and that's great, you're relaxed, but the guidance can help you to go even deeper. So you listen to the guidance, and then at a certain point, that guidance that talking will stop and you'll be so relaxed that you can feel like you're floating or in a safe way feel like you're out of your body almost like you're in this dreamlike state and it's incredible people you know, experience an hour long sound bath and they'll say I felt like five minutes. So it's, it's a really wonderful way to get deep rest very efficiently and very effectively because when we get into those brainwave states theta and the Delta brainwave states research suggests it can have the same benefits of eight hours of deep sleep just being in a sound bath for one hour. Yeah, well

Katie: 14:16

that's amazing that's similar to TM Yeah, yeah. Wow. Are the bowls that are behind you are those bowls that you use? Yes. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, we screenshot of this because it's gorgeous. Where what is the origin of sound bass does it because I did Kundalini Yoga one time and at the end of it, there was a sound bath and she's gongs and multiple things. It is it related to Kundalini Yoga.

Susy: 14:45

So no sound healing and soundbox go all the way back throughout time. I mean, in ancient Egypt and the pyramids, they had sound chambers. And you know, 40,000 years ago in in Australia, ancient aborigines would use didgeridoo to mend broken bones. So humans have used sound for healing throughout time. Sound bonds as we know them today are more recent, like the idea of lying down in Shavasana. Experiencing sound bath, I would say is grown in popularity over the past 20 or so years, especially as yoga has become more popular and mainstream in the west. It is definitely common in kundalini yoga to include a sound bath because a great deal of Kundalini Yoga focuses on the nod the sound current. So if you go to a kundalini yoga, yoga class, most likely you'll be doing some sort of chanting at the very least when you begin the class, you'll be tuning in, activating that sound current within you, and most likely doing another mantra based meditation at some point during the class. And then at the end, or even throughout the class, different teachers will do different things, though incorporate sound. And sound is used in kundalini yoga for its creative power, right? Like sound is pure creative potential. And so when we're looking to really create shifts in our nervous system, and at the deepest levels of our energy fields, sound is one of the most efficient and effective ways to do that. So

Katie: 16:21

that's amazing. Yeah, I

Amy: 16:23

actually noticed just from doing like, the couple minutes just now, my, my body completely felt different before and after, like, I was kind of stressed. And then I listened to that. And then I noticed, I started talking slower, I was more relaxed. Usually I talk super fast. And if I'm doing an intro, I'm like that. I don't know that and I felt really center doing it. So thank you. But tell us about, you know, you mentioned how seven years ago, you went through a really tough time with anxiety, etc, etc. Like, how did you discover this practice? When you were in that state? Like, how did you find it? I guess I would say,

Susy: 17:01

so, I had been searching for a little while, that period of darkness and struggle really had gone on for a while I was turning to alcohol and prescription drugs to, you know, help me cope with the anxiety that I was feeling and facing and just, I think not recognizing how sensitive energetically I am and, and, and how out of alignment I was in my life. And so it began with getting sober and really starting a journey of trying to get sober before it even stuck. So I went to rehab in 2015. And when I was in rehab, I had music therapy. And so in music therapy, we started to work with my voice and listening to sounds listening to music. And that really helped me to feel in a way that I hadn't felt safe to feel before. Like I remember going and coming out and just crying and like feeling this huge release and like it was finally safe to feel some feelings that I had been holding on to for a long time. And from that point, I really began to open myself up to you know, alternative healing methods and I started to explore different meditation practices. I also got certified in TM, I started to really learn about the moon and the cycles of the moon, I started to become really interested in crystals. I read some spiritual books, The Alchemist played a huge role in my journey and opening me up to sort of feeling like I was on my path and on my on my journey. And all of those things combined led me to really tune into this guidance is the only way I can describe it to move to California, even though it was like probably the last place I ever thought I would move. I remember when I had first moved to New York City after college and I was in culinary school, I had a friend who was from LA. And I would make fun of him. I was like why would you play like pretty do that I thought New York was like where it was that it was a place to be. And once I got into that space of really opening myself to healing, I felt like there's something there for me. And so I moved out to LA and at that point, I had stopped drinking but I was still feeling incredibly anxious and having panic attacks. And in the process of moving my aunt who lives out here said to me, do you want to come to a sound bath? And I didn't even ask her what it was, like we talked about before a lot of people say you know, or maybe wet or what is this? What is the sound off? Am I gonna leave my body? Is it safe? I was just like, of course it felt so natural to say yes. And I went and in that sound bath. It felt like coming home. It's nothing. I mean, like you described me like I was grounded and centered in my body. And when I left I could speak clearly and calmly and something had shifted and it didn't last forever. You know after a little while I went back to school. My same self, because we do we return to our most consistent state of consciousness until we shift that which can take some time. So I craved it from there. So I was like, I want more of that feeling. And I went back to another sound bath and another and another. And over time, it did start to become more my norm. And I was able to commit to having a TM practice. So not only was I going to sound as I was meditating twice a day, and I started to explore Kundalini Yoga, going to Kundalini yoga classes, and then eventually taking yoga teacher trainings, and it just opened up everything. Yeah.

Katie: 20:36

That's amazing. And thank you for sharing your your story with your struggle with addiction and everything. And were you able to, before you move to LA, did you overcome the addiction? Or was it also part of the process of coming to LA and discovering the sound baths and everything that that got you to that final point,

Susy: 20:54

it was part of the process of discovering sound baths, and connecting with a sober community. So once I left rehab, I didn't drink alcohol, but I would go out with friends. And I would be like, Oh, it's fine. I'm just gonna take a hit of pot. So I would like smoke little pot or eat a little edible. Because to me, that was something that didn't cause me a lot of harm. When I drank, I would end up in the hospital. But we've never really had a negative effect that had repercussions in my life. But ultimately, once I was able to connect with what I mean, my true self, like that light within me, and that sense of peace that I was searching for, by taking the drink or taking the head or whatever, I was like, I don't need that. And yeah, so right, pretty much right after I moved, it was like the last time I smoked and never never went back. Thank god,

Katie: 21:45

that's amazing. Good for you. And congratulate incredible, so profound. It's amazing. It's such such an enlightened aunt to the sounds very cool, lives in LA and takes you to sound amazing. What were some of your biggest challenges learning all of this? Because this is such a, I mean, to me, it's kind of a foreign practice, I think, to a lot of people that aren't familiar with, it's a whole new world. So learning everything along the way, what were some of your bigger challenges,

Susy: 22:15

I would say my biggest challenges were sort of the voice of judgment in my own head, and my own mind, you know, and feeling like, I went to a great, like, I went to a great college, I went to UVA, and I had this path, you know, working in New York City working in luxury, lifestyle management, and more of a traditional path. And as I began to feel called to learn and share sound healing, there was a voice within me that was like, Are people gonna think I'm weird? Do we are going to think I've gone off the deep end that I'm some woowoo hippie. And so I think like quieting those thoughts, and just saying, Well, this has helped me, how's it gonna help someone else? And coming back? So that really, really helped me to break through that. Um, and yeah, I mean, I grew up on the east coast, where it's compared to LA, relatively unknown, it's definitely growing more and more throughout the country and throughout the world. But I think like that fear of judgment, and then also like, who am I? Who am I to share this, right? Because I don't think I don't think there's ever a point in our journey where we're totally healed. And we feel like, Oh, I've got this, I've mastered this. Like, it's just the nature of, of human life, I think and the gift of it, that if we're open, we'll continue to heal, we'll continue to learn, we'll continue to grow. And so that sort of fear of being found out like feeling like a fraud, like who am I to get to share this? Am I really going to be able to help people? Those thoughts were what would come up and hold me back? And every time they did, I would just be like, No, I'd like this helped me. If it helps one other person, that's what matters. Like if it means that sorry, have a panic attack or doesn't consider taking their own life as I had had those thoughts in my own journey mean? Like, if someone finds peace because of this, then what does it matter if I feel like I'm ready or not, quote, unquote, you know, just Sure. sharing it? Yeah.

Katie: 24:15

It's it's like that imposter syndrome kind of thing. Like, I feel like Amy and I went through a two when we were first starting the podcast, like, why would people want to listen to us? And why would people want to come and be on our show? It's, but it's the whole thing. If you just think about, like, passing it along, and it helping even just one person. It's enough of a motivator. So yeah, that's amazing.

Amy: 24:33

Yeah. So speaking of growing and talking about your personal story, I know one of the big things I think a few years ago you came out about was your alopecia story. And I think it was like, maybe right after I met you, and I remember reading afterwards and being so proud of you for just letting it go and being real and like just embracing it. And so, can you tell everyone sort of that journey and your history and just the whole story around because I think it's fascinating and beautiful.

Susy: 25:07

Absolutely. Yeah. And it's cool. I think you and I met pretty recently after I had shaved my head and stopped wearing a wig. Um, it's been an incredible journey that from where I'm sitting now, I deeply feel has been my greatest gift and my greatest teacher, you know. But for most of my life, I did not feel that way. You know what, what happened is when I was about seven, I started to experience alopecia areata, which is essentially unexplained hair loss, it's your immune system, your immune system is attacking your hair follicles. And so as a little girl, I started to experience bald spots. And they were small enough that we probably couldn't tell, but I knew. And I felt this great sense of fear that, you know, someone would see it and figure out that I was losing my hair and think something was wrong with me or call me a freak, or, you know, I just, I felt unlovable, I really felt like there was something wrong with me. And I have three sisters. And we were known as the for blonde shufflin Girls like that was like a part of our identity. And so the fact that, you know, I had this secret that I didn't want anyone to find out about. It was really, it was really deeply painful. And so yeah, I continue to lose my hair for I mean, I still do today have bald spots, I still experience it, I began this journey of trying to figure out like, what was wrong with me. And so my mom took me to all sorts of doctors, you know, dermatologists all the way to Reiki healers all the way to our Vedic practitioners, and so on and so forth. And it was this quest, and I would take all sorts of supplements, and I would not eat this, and I would take this vitamin or take these homeopathic pills, and nothing really worked. I would get cortisone injections in my scalp every month from the dermatologist like, and sometimes I had so many bald spots that it would be like 100 shots in my head. Oh, gosh, yeah, it was crazy. And it would, but the thing is, it would fall out again. So like, just as quickly as it would start to grow, it would fall out. And so it was kind of like playing Whack a Mole. And then, as I'm trying to figure out, you know, how to stop it from falling out how to get it to grow back? Why is it falling out in the first place, then it's like trying to hide it. So it was this

Amy: 27:39

talk about anxiety, like,

Susy: 27:42

all consuming, like, all I could think about when I was in public was our people gonna notice, you know, and I would spray it with hairspray. And then at certain points, it was so bad that I would wear a wig to cover it up. And to be totally honest, it was exhausting. It was exhausting. Like, my best friends who knew like just beyond the extremes that I went to, to make sure that no one would figure out that I had bald spots. And I think it played a huge role in why I drank a lot of alcohol, you know, because if it would turn off those thoughts, I would drink and take pills to the point where like, I wasn't worrying anymore. I was just able to be and you know, as I let go of alcohol and as I embarked on a journey into sobriety and got sober and began these practices of healing, working with, you know, Crystal alchemy, singing bowls, practicing Kundalini Yoga, you know, really getting to know myself and be with myself having a daily meditation practice. I started to feel like feel for the first time internally, what if there's nothing wrong with you like, in doing all those things, and in seeking out all those healers, I got my body to a place where I was completely healthy. Like I had nutritionists. Acupuncture is like, all my blood work was fine. And so I thought, you know, if I'm perfectly healthy, and yet my hair still falling out. Maybe I'm just not supposed to have hair. And maybe this is a gift that's come into my life to give me the opportunity to really find that self love and self acceptance, no matter what, you know, no matter what I look like, on the outside, it's not a reflection of who I am on the inside. And my beauty and my worth comes from within. So I started to feel that and you know, it takes time once you start to feel that to really actually believe it. And so I started to speak out about my experience, I started to share about it on social media and tell people you know, I'm experiencing alopecia. And so many people would reach out to me and say, oh my god, me too. Like this is my biggest secret. And they would say you know, I'm wearing a wig too or I've been experiencing this or this is brand new, my hair starting to fall out. I'm freaking out. I have no one to talk to about that. And in speaking out about it, it was really healing. You know, it was like, Wow, I'm not alone. And by it's such a secret that I've been hiding for years, I really did feel alone. And the people who knew my mom and a few friends, like, they couldn't relate in the same way, you know, so I just felt really alone in my experience. And then when I started to share, a lot of healing took place, because it was like, wow, you know, I don't have to hide this. And in fact, by being honest, I'm helping other people to feel hope, too. And so I got to a point where I was like, Okay, this is who I am. This is who I meant to be like, I had pretty much half a head of hair, which just looks weird. Like, it's not ideal. I mean, to me, if I knew, and I don't know, if anyone else has half a head of hair, and they love that, that's great. But to me, it didn't feel like I was like, if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. So I went to my hairstylist who had been helping me for years to like dye my hair white blonde, so you can see the bald spots and then styling my wigs and I went to my Sybil, you helped me shave it all off. And so we shaved it off, it was a new moon, and I let go of having hair. And now I shaved my head every day. And I still have bald spots, I still probably have like half a head of hair if I were to let it grow out. But I don't know if I ever would like even if my hair did grow in fully. I don't know if I would want a full head of hair. Because being bald and like accepting this and embracing it has given me such a beautiful point of connection with other people, you know? Yeah.

Amy: 31:43

And so much freedom, I would think to like when you probably did it, I don't know. But I would guess you probably felt like free and you're like, okay,

Katie: 31:50

yeah, how was that first experience when you shaved it for the first time.

Susy: 31:54

So at first, it was freeing. And it was also terrifying because I show exposed and I actually continued to wear a wig for like a month and a half. And there would be times where I would like not wear the wig. I remember I went to like, an ecstatic dance class, and I didn't wear the wig. And I came home and I was like, Oh my gosh, that felt so intense like to let myself be seen in it. And so little by little I would go out without the wig. And just be like, Oh, it's safe. You know, it's safe to be seen, like, I have felt this within myself and now going and public and nobody cared. I mean, sometimes people ask me, and sometimes people I've had people come up in, you know, coming up, they're gonna pray for me and my cancer journey and things like that. And I'm like, okay, that's coming from a place of love and caring within them. It doesn't actually have to do with me, you know. And so I don't know, in fact, I'm like, thank you. If anyone wants to pray for me, I'll take it. I'll take prayers. But I don't let it trigger me anymore and the way that it used to, and then I went on a yoga retreat in Costa Rica. And for that whole week, I didn't wear my wig. And when I came back, I felt really grounded in in being bald and haven't worn one since other than for like a Halloween costume but pink wig or something.

Amy: 33:11

Yeah, funny. It's beautiful story from doing this. This podcast. I've just noticed Katie that like it seems like people's and this would be the case for you to Susy. Like your biggest like challenge, and fear is your greatest gift, right? It's like, everything happens for a reason. And it's like you are meant to be this way. And so thank you for sharing that and being so open about it. I think a lot of people will feel really empowered by it. Because yeah, you don't know what's going on with with people. And if you can help one person, I think that's, that's amazing. So thank you for sharing that. So what is your favorite thing about what you do? You do so many beautiful practices, but like, What's your favorite thing and kind of tell us what you'd like to spend the most time doing?

Susy: 34:00

I oh my gosh. So I love all of it. I really do. And yeah, so many different things. But if I had to choose, I would say I really love right now I'm mentoring other teachers and healers, like supporting other people and stepping into their power and really taking ownership of their guests. Because just as you shared, like our greatest challenges, almost always turn out to be our greatest gifts. And, you know, if you're on a path of being a teacher or a healer, it's probably for a reason the healing has probably touched you in your own personal life. And so it brings me so much joy to support other people and really owning that and embodying it and then taking it and feeling confident sharing it and creating a business doing it. So a lot of the work that I do recently is training sound healers and supporting them and building businesses with it because what I see is a lot of a lot of teachers and healers. Have walks around money and no one teaches you how to be an entrepreneur and you feel called in your heel, your healing your healing, and you feel healed and you want to share it, but then you're like, but how do I support myself doing this. And so it inspires me so much to help teach people how to build a business and like how to create a life where you're not only talking the talk and sharing, but like you're walking the walk, and you're embodying it in all areas, and you don't have to show up to a day job and feel like you're putting on a suit and pretending you're someone else. And then at nighttime, you can take that suit off and feel comfortable in your own skin. Like for me the equivalent of like, putting a wig on and then taking it off, you know, like, how can we all take our wigs off and show up in our life with our friends, our family, our clients, all all areas truly, as who we are, and show the guests we came here to share. So I love working with people one on one. And I have a group mentorship and a sound healing training, where that's really a lot of what we focus on is that embodiment of our of our gifts.

Katie: 36:04

That's so cool. You're so you're teaching people to use this practice to heal. And then you're also teaching people how to be successful entrepreneurs. I mean, it's really, it's amazing. It's really inspiring. We need to talk to you offline about successful entrepreneurial show. So do you have some retreats coming up? We would love to hear about them. You do you do retreats often?

Susy: 36:31

So I do. I do do retreats often. Right now I'm preparing for maternity leave. So I will be taking a little mini retreat. And then I have a retreat in Mount Shasta in September, which is for the women who are currently in my business mentorship. So that's a treat that I offered them once a year and then looking at dates for a Hawaii retreat, which was supposed to take place in January, but was pushed back due to Omicron. So a COVID rescheduling. So stay tuned. If anyone's out there and wants to come on retreat in probably early October. I'll be leading a retreat on Maui. And it's going to be really, really cool. Yeah, but

Amy: 37:14

incredible. And then do you have classes I know are you still you still do your classes with Allah moves? If people have that platform where they can hear your sound baths? Yeah, or yoga or what? Yeah,

Unknown: 37:27

I have actually Kundalini yoga and sound baths on Alo moves. And they're releasing new classes that I've created with them almost every day like, oh, wow, yeah, at least three times a week. Right now there's new classes coming out. We've been recording non stop for the past few months. And I was actually just in the recording studio recording some audio only classes, definitely check out all moves. And then I also have a monthly sound healing membership, which has a whole library of on demand classes similar to the classes that I offer and all the moves. But they're they're different. And they're different links and they're filmed around the world. And in that membership, you get access to live events, too. So I host a new moon and full moon virtual ceremony sound bath events where we come together on it's actually through YouTube Live. So we don't see each other but we can chat in and we do a beautiful intention setting based on the energy of that moon I talk about, you know how to make the most of that energy. And then we share intentions and then relax in the sound bath. So membership, yeah, you get access to the live events. And we're bringing in guest teachers to teach special workshops this year, we just had actually today our first live community call where we were on zoom so we could see each other and everyone sort of shared what was present for them and receive you know, support and prayers and coaching and guidance and we did a beautiful Reiki meditation. So my monthly membership is such a wonderful way to dive into, you know, a more committed experience of healing through sound

Katie: 39:05

work and our listener find the monthly membership that is

Unknown: 39:09

on my website, thecoppervessel.com/TCVC. A copper vessel collective.

Amy: 39:16

No, I was looking on your website and I saw something about your retreats and the membership and there's just so much great content on there. So definitely, hopefully our listeners will check that out on your website as well as your Instagram. Okay, so we are going to get into our rap session. And the first question for you is, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Susy: 39:41

I would say my favorite wellness or beauty hack is going to bed and waking up early.

Amy: 39:48

So sleep Yeah,

Susy: 39:50

early bedtime and early rising. I usually try to wake up at 530 latest six Yeah 930

Katie: 39:57

Yeah, yeah.

Amy: 39:59

That's Katie's vibe right there..

Katie: 40:01

There. I know, 100% like the my absolute latest is 1030. And I try I'm trying to push it to 5am. Now I usually get up at six, but I'm trying to do five so that I can get my TM and before the day starts, so we'll see how that goes. That might be tricky. But since we've been on the West Coast, my husband I've literally been falling asleep at 730 The last two nights and it's sleeping until 630. The next day, like cheese, we must have been really tired.

Susy: 40:27

It's the best coming to the west coast from the east coast because you're like, up bright and early. Because the time difference.

Katie: 40:34

Exactly. Yeah, it's so funny. All right, this next one we call your five minute flow. You just got to the shower. Uber pings you they're five minutes away. What are you going to do? What are your holy grail should go twos to get into that Uber on time?

Susy: 40:49

Well, that could be pretty much my everyday my everyday beauty routine. Super simple. Yeah, shower, get out. I obviously don't need to do my hair. So that saves a lot of time. I use Vitamin C E Ferulic by SkinCeuticals put that on. I love audacity they have an amazing all embracing serum oil that I put on on top of that. deodorant, natural deodorant. I usually will do wash off for a few minutes just to flush out you know, lengthen my face. reduce any puffiness and bloating which right now is at an all time high being this pregnant. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm pregnant chipmunk you

Amy: 41:25

guys. I'm sure you'll see when you when you check her out. But she has the most gorgeous skin. So like ever. I've seen her in person and her skin is flawless and gorgeous.

Susy: 41:35

Yeah, and I put belly oil on my pregnant belly and put on a sweat suit or a cute comfy Alo yoga outfit. I'm almost always wearing alo. And then I would make a cup of hot water and lemon to start my day and really start moving my metabolism and be in the car. I don't even think I need five minutes. Easy.

Katie: 41:54

Yeah, that's fabulous.

Amy: 41:56

Nice. Great. And then how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Susy: 42:01

Ooh, morning meditation if I wasn't running into an Uber, and if I got an Uber, I would still do it is through a daily meditation practice. Like no matter what I'm starting my day with at least 11 minutes, if not 20. If I'm doing a TM practice, although I'm not really committed to a TM practice. Right now I'm doing more of a Kundalini based morning practice. So I'll do chanting meditation. And then I'm doing my second year in a row of studying A Course in Miracles. So I read the daily lesson for that, and I meditate silently on that lesson. And then I say some prayers and really turned my day over to the universe. I'm like, I don't need to figure anything out. I don't need to be the one to control it. Just let me be of service. Let me lead from love. And that gives me a lot of peace. The prayer prayer component of my morning practice, you know, takes I

Katie: 42:58

love that. Yeah, I'd love the idea of turning the day over to the universe. That's really beautiful. It seems like it would just relieve one of so much pressure and stress, right? Yeah, that's

Amy: 43:13

such a random thing. But like, I'm, I'm, I'm watching you. And I'm like, Okay, you're having a baby, you know, very soon, and I'm just so excited for you to have a baby. I'm so excited for the baby to have you. Yes, you're gonna be such a good, beautiful mom. Because of like, all the things you said, but just your whole energy is like, That baby's just really lucky as all I have to say. Because I feel like that baby's gonna be born into the world with so much love and so much like, balance and calmness and I'm just I'm really looking forward to seeing the baby and all of that journey. It's going to be so beautiful for you. You're gonna make me cry. I just felt compelled to say that as you're talking and I was looking at you and that's just going to be so special. So your due your 33 weeks. So you're due like in a month, right? Yeah. That's great. Baby, which is nice.

Susy: 44:10

Yeah. Yeah, great. We'll see if he's gonna be an Aries or a Taurus, or you're

Amy: 44:15

having a boy. I was gonna ask you I wasn't sure if you knew I have two boys. So I'm a big boy fan. And boy mom and Katie has two girls so

Susy: 44:27

I'm your boy mom tips cuz I know nothing about little boys being one of four girls.

Amy: 44:35

Yeah, they're the best. They are. Good tips. Yeah.

Katie: 44:40

Great. Well, Susy, we usually wrap the show with a closing mantra. I don't know if you have. We know that you share these beautiful mantras all the time on your on your Instagram feed. Do you have a mantra you'd like to share? If not, we have one.

Susy: 44:57

I would say the mantra I would love to share is. I am whole.

Katie: 45:03

You just gave me chills. I know it's beautiful. And yeah.

Amy: 45:06

Thank you so much, Susy. This was invigorating, empowering. Like just so beautiful. Such a great way to like end the week. And we really appreciate you being on and we're just really excited for you and your journey and we'll continue to be fans and cheer you along. And hopefully you'll come back. You're welcome to come back anytime and chat with us and we'd love to have you back to talk more. There's just so much to all the sound healing that you do. And for our listeners, definitely check Susy's Instagram her website and try a sound bath because it is very transformative. So thank you so much Susy.

Episode 45 - Finding Your Happy With Dr. Sophia Godkin, The Happiness Doctor (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 45 Finding Your Happy With Dr. Sophia Godkin, The Happiness Doctor.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation Welcome back to Nirvana sisters, I am really excited for this interview this week. I think we're gonna learn a lot and it's going to be very interesting. We are sitting down with the happiness doctor, Dr. Sophia Godkin. She's a health psychologist, happy ologists and happy Ness relationship and transformational coach. She is recognized for helping people all around the world learn to love themselves, create pleasure, build relationships and become happy from the inside out without having to force or fake it. As a renowned Coach, University professor and head of learning at international wellness companies, Dr. Sophia has taught people of all ages and backgrounds the principles and practices of happiness and healing for many years, whether in the form of individual coaching, writing or group Education, Dr. Sophia is known for the depth lightheartedness and transformative potential of her work. And that is really exciting and interesting. I love the whole idea of it. So Hi, Dr. Sophia, thank you for being here. Should we call you Dr. Godkin? Dr. Sophia, happiness Doctor, what? What would you like us to call you?

Sophia: 1:34

You can call me Sophia, Katie and Amy.

Katie: 1:37

Okay. All right, Sophia. So thank you so much for being here. Let's Let's kick it off with our nirvana of the week. Amy, what was yours?

Amy: 1:45

Yeah, so mine happens earlier today. I was I typically try not to go on social media or my phone in the morning because it's so distracting, as we all know. But it was Friday. And I was just kind of lazy. So I looked at my Instagram and I saw that something had popped up that it was a year since we launched our first podcast episode, which was such a surprise. I just wasn't thinking about it. Because Katie and I started the podcast in the business during the pandemic like late 2020. But I didn't realize we officially launched this day, January 28. Last year, so it was amazing to see and to see other progress you made and I was just super excited about it. So that was my little joy of the day. What about you, Katie? I

Katie: 2:25

love that. That's great. Mine was yesterday, I had some really nice quality one on one time with Rhys mangas daughter, she I was I've been kind of under the weather and I felt really good yesterday afternoon. And I was just really like, sewn down on her and playing and being silly. And we were doing she was first she was my doctor. And then she was my hairstylist and she was my makeup artists. It was really cute. She told me she said, I'm a doctor on Fridays. I'm a hairstylist on Saturdays. I'm a makeup artist on Sundays. So I said I

Amy: 2:54

already that's great. It's already an entrepreneur. So that she do that with me because I have boys and they

Katie: 3:00

don't you know she would love to do. What about you, Sophia? What was your Nirvana this week?

Sophia: 3:06

Thanks for asking Katie. It's actually similar to yours. But it happened with my cat. I traveled all of last week. So I had no pet time at all. And I came back, you know, feeling like I need to do all of the things that I missed last week. But I think it was Wednesday on Wednesday, I woke up to do my usual routine of you know, going to the gym and starting on all the tasks that I have to do. But something you know, inside me so just hanging out hanging out in bed a little longer. And I think it was my cat Leo, who really allowed that to happen, because he's just the softest thing. During Yeah, during these winter months. Yeah, so we just hung out in bed for an extra hour and a half, maybe. And

Amy: 3:50

we need to see him. Is he around? By your feet? Not by my

Sophia: 3:55

feet. No, no, he's not by my feet. But maybe I can show you some other time. Yeah, I'm sure he left him with a cameo.

Katie: 4:02

That sounds great. I love we kind of love the good pet Snuggles. Well, let's go ahead and get started. Because I feel like we have so much to unpack here. First of all, so in your career, you've you're a psychologist, and but how like, explain what the happiness doctor is and how you became the happiness doctor.

Sophia: 4:24

Oh, thanks so much for asking Katie. Yes. So, oh, let's see where to begin. So my personal journey, my my professional journey rather, has been like a mix of psychology and education. I'm a lifelong learner. I'm incredibly passionate about education. I think education can really change lives. It can, you know, provide us with the tools that we need to make the changes that we really want to make. So I've dabbled for as long as I can. Remember I've dabbled in psychology and education. You mentioned earlier I was a professor I lead education teams for various health wellness companies. And then at some point, you know, I realized that This thing that I called my side gig, which is coaching people, one on one doing group coaching programs, and really, you know, creating personalized tools for true happiness and emotional healing, that that's really where my heart was. And that that actually, you know, allowed me to express those strengths that I have of education and, and learning and really, you know, expressing compassion for people and guiding them through the struggles that life is inevitably filled with. So yeah, at some point, I just decided to go for it. And I said, Okay, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do my own thing. Because that's how I feel that I can help the world the most. And it was actually a friend of mine that, you know, I was thinking of a business name, when the happiness doctor was still a side gig. And, you know, we were bouncing around with names and nothing felt right, you know, intuitively, you know, when something is you and when it's not you, and it just wasn't falling into place. And then one day, she calls me and she's like, You're the happiness doctor? And I was like, yes, yes, I am like that. That's exactly what I do. That's exactly what emanates from me naturally. Right? And so yeah, today, I'm the happiness doctor. I love it.

Katie: 6:09

I know, it's such a good name. I mean, it doesn't get any better.

Amy: 6:13

I know. And I love how in the intro, you refer to yourself as a happy ologists, which I'd never heard. And that's fantastic.

Katie: 6:20

So before you became the happiness doctor, were you doing the traditional therapy sessions? Or was that when you're, you're solely focused on being a professor? What were you teaching at the time? And also, you certainly worked for wellness companies.

Sophia: 6:36

So I was trained as an academic psychologist, and my expertise was in health psychology, the mind body connection, really. So I was teaching courses like health psychology and positive psychology, and even research methods and the not fun thing sometimes. Yeah, so I was really, you know, heavily focused on teaching at the time and also conducting research. But again, as I mentioned, I figured out after quite a few years that I needed to be the one on the frontlines, I needed to be the one that was helping enact change, rather than conducting the evidence based research on the back end, and waiting for, you know, evidence to emerge for things that I really in my heart already knew to be effective. Oh,

Katie: 7:19

I like that. I love that. That's interesting. Okay, so you have created these courses, then you you're coaching people, one on one, and you're also doing group coaching. And then you have developed a course called the negative thinking and feeling cure course. So let's dive into that a little bit. Explain to us what that is.

Sophia: 7:39

Please. Yeah, thanks for asking about that. Katie. Yeah, so this course is essentially a response to the biggest struggle that people tell me that they have, right, what do I do with my thoughts and emotions, like, these thoughts? Get me down, these thoughts overwhelm me, they stressed me out, and the feelings that I have, are responsible for my unhappiness, right. That's what I hear in various forms, repeatedly from from clients and potential clients. And so I thought, okay, you know, let's let me think back to my own personal journey, and what did I really need to learn at the very beginning, and it made so much sense to me that this is what people keep asking about, because one of the first things I remember really deeply learning and really kind of pivoting within myself was how I related to my thoughts and emotions. And so the negative thinking and feeling cure course, is really about helping us to understand what thoughts and emotions really are, and how we can relate to them differently. And what I mean by that is really challenging the things that we're told, we're told, you know, negative thoughts are bad, and feelings, uncomfortable feelings, like sadness and anger are bad. And so we need to push them away, we need to tuck them away in a corner, we need to hide them, pretend they're not there. And that's actually what exacerbates the emotional pain that many of us walk around life with. And so this course is just, you know, a really gentle invitation to think about things a little differently in a way that I think actually helps us to live with the thoughts and emotions that we as human beings have. So it's all about changing how we think about them and how we relate to them.

Amy: 9:13

So is it kind of going into to the mindset and kind of accepting the thought and then having strategies around how to sort of bring it into your life but not bring you down? I don't know if you could, like help us think about because I know when I have a negative thought in my head, I tried to think there's always you always hear these things, like thoughts become things or don't give energy to a negative thought, but it's like hard to really know what that means or to implement that. So maybe you can share a tip or something that can help people that have a quick negative thoughts that come in their head, like how do they kind of get out of that zone? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,

Katie: 9:54

I was also just really quickly going to ask it's kind of a tack on to your question. That's why I interrupted Is it? Is it the, in Buddhism, the living with your thoughts and your feelings, your negative thoughts and feelings? They tell you to to like, say, Okay, I'm anxious. Let me hold on to that. And let me like almost nurture my anxiety like give it a hug like you're you're welcome here, you can be here with me we can live in this space together. Is it anything like that?

Sophia: 10:23

Yes, I would say, Katie, your example is a little bit more aligned with what I was sort of referring to as far as what the course offers the perspective that the course offers and the invitation that exists within that course for us to relate to things differently. Yeah, you can think of it as holding the emotion or, again, just relating to it in a way that doesn't treat it as an enemy, right doesn't treat it as this invader, and doesn't treat it as a like, as a bad thing. Really, right. At the very most basic level. Negative thoughts aren't bad, right? They're not bad. And we're taught the, you know, against your thinking a negative thought. It's so bad. It's horrible. And like, you will, right Stop thinking about it. Right? Yeah. Like you alluded to Amy, it's, oh, my gosh, it's it's determining my future in some negative way. And that doesn't help. That just doesn't help. Right. And the energy is real, right? I don't disagree with that. But the way that we relate to that experience, can be kinder, it can be gentler, and it can embody more of the qualities that we know to actually help and heal and transform and create true happiness, if that makes sense. And we can definitely use an example Amy or Katie, maybe you have a thought that that we can work with a thought that's not the most pleasant thought that maybe you

Amy: 11:41

had real time coach. Yeah,

Katie: 11:42

sure. I'll give you one. Yeah, sure. Let's see.

Amy: 11:48

Let me go through my,

Katie: 11:49

let me go through all of my problems. No, I'm just kidding. Um, all right. Here's a good one. So like I have mentioned and Amy knows and Raul probably sick and tired of hearing it, which there's a negative thought and itself is that I have been unwell lately. And I have this negative thought in my mind that these people in my life friends, new friends, I just moved to New Town that like they think I'm the sick girl. Like, you know, he was the sick girl again. You know, like, it's like that insecurity thought of like, your ego again, kind of thing. So there's one.

Sophia: 12:19

Yeah, absolutely. And how, and I know, we don't have all the time in the world. So we're gonna just gonna work with it a little bit if that's okay. And how does that thought make you feel?

Katie: 12:28

Like lousy and pathetic?

Sophia: 12:31

Yeah, yeah. So let's, let's see this thought as something coming from within you. That's actually here to give you a message. Okay. What would that message be? What would that message be? If this was a thought coming from within you? It's not really coming from the women. It's coming from within you. It's and it's uncomfortable, right? And there's a reason it's uncomfortable. It's well done telling you something. I feel like

Katie: 12:55

it's telling me that I which and maybe I'm wrong, but then I'm really sick and tired of being sick all the time. I don't know is that the message? You know that I'm embarrassed about it? And then tired of it and sick of it?

Sophia: 13:08

It might be so maybe yeah, so maybe this this thought and the feeling associated with it is letting you know that. That may be you know, your system wants you to feel a little bit more accepting of the fact that you are unwell.

Katie: 13:22

Yeah, that's acceptance. Now, I think you're I think you're right. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. And it's kind of a it's an acceptance thing that I have stuff that I just have to deal with.

Sophia: 13:31

I just got chills. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, when it's so easy to see or think we're presuming we do this all of the time, all of us to think that, you know, this other person on the outside is the one thinking this about us that I'm the sick girl. But really, I'm the one thinking that I'm the sick girl and it doesn't feel good to see myself that way. Right? Because for as long as I can remember, I've been the well girl like I, you know, I when I look at you, like that's what I imagined, right? Katie so, so, so then you can relate to this thought, as you know, you can turn to it, like you said, even hold it and say, Hey, thanks for being here. Like you just made me aware of the fact that I'm seeing myself as the sick girl. And, you know, really, maybe I can see myself a little bit differently throughout this experience. Maybe I'm not as well as I once was. But maybe I can, you know, still envision myself a little differently. And maybe that sickness in and of itself is another messenger right here telling me that something's not right. something's a little off in my life. And what could that be? Right? And we can do this for you know, yeah, everything that you've got.

Katie: 14:32

Yeah, no, that's Yeah, that's great. I can really appreciate that. So it's, it's a matter of looking at what these negative thoughts are. This message that it's trying to come to convey and and what you can do to to work with that to make positive change. Basically,

Sophia: 14:50

yes, that's one part of it. Yes. And the other is really bringing the body in. Because the reason one of the other reasons that we push feelings away and thoughts away that are quote unquote Negative is that they feel uncomfortable, they feel physically uncomfortable, right? No one likes being angry or sad. It's physically uncomfortable. So we run away from it, we drink, we overeat, we do all of these things, because it's uncomfortable. And so the other part of it is really learning and fighting ourselves to feel what it's like to feel an emotion in our body without pushing it away, becoming comfortable with the physical sensations that might exist there. So maybe it's, you know, pressure in the chest, or tingling in the belly or, you know, tension in the forehead. But understanding that's okay, like, if we actually observe it and focus on it without pushing it away, it starts to maneuver and change all on its own, there's nothing we don't have to push it away. By pushing it away, it exacerbates. But when we can learn to be there with that sensation, it actually again moves that emotional energy moves throughout our body. So it's a mind body experience. Yes, the first part is really, you know, relating to that thought and emotion in a bit of a, you know, mind heart way. And the other is really somatic really inviting that experience, that physical experience that often accompanies thoughts and emotions.

Amy: 16:05

Okay, that's so interesting, you say that, because my, my younger son, Jules, who is 12, we had him go to a therapist A while ago, because he has a lot of anxiety. And it was mostly around like sports and performing and like, messing up or getting hurt. And he would just like just constantly, you know, ask questions and be really nervous before games, and just like this overly anxious, and we didn't really know what strategies he should use. And I remember when one of his sessions, they had followed up with me and kind of showed me what they had gone through with him. And it was that like, you know, it's not just what you're thinking your head, like, do you feel this in your chest? Do you feel this, like, the body piece to it, which I thought was really interesting. And I was so glad they did that being that he's so young. And he's learning that like, when he recognizes these things, that means this is happening. And this is it's okay to live with. You just have to learn how to, you know, strategize and think through things differently. So, yeah, that's great job.

Sophia: 17:08

Yeah. That's great to hear that he was introduced to that at a young age. Yeah, absolutely. And in

Amy: 17:13

your course, how does it work? Is it online? How many sessions is it? How can people find out more about the course? Because I think it's so interesting, and I'm sure a lot of our listeners would love to learn more about it. Yeah, thanks

Sophia: 17:24

for asking me. Yes, this course is fully online, self paced, you can you know, take it at your own leisure at your own pace. There are activities and exercises that you download a workbook that you download, and it's all available on my website, that happiness doctor.com.

Katie: 17:38

That's great, nice. And then you also do the coaching as well. So are the coaching sessions similar to traditional therapy? Is it or, like, what's the difference between coaching and therapy?

Sophia: 17:51

Hmm, great question, Katie. Yeah, so the way I like to think about it is coaching is focused on who you are now, and building on the strengths that you have in order to create the kind of future that you want. And therapy is a little bit more about paying attention to what has happened to date to create who you are, and maybe paying attention to and, and, you know, bringing some healing to things that have happened in the past but still influenced you today.

Katie: 18:19

Okay, I can see the difference here. That's interesting. Okay, so now, you mentioned somatic awareness. So what I want to do is I saw that you have these different modalities. And I think we've just touched on a few of them. And some of them we're very familiar with, and I'll just list them off really quickly. There's positive psychology, internal family systems, mindfulness, self compassion, somatic awareness, intuitive expression of arts, energy medicine, and generational ancestral healing. So I, you know, we've heard of mindfulness and self compassion and all of that, but I'd like to kind of like tick off and go through some of the more obscure ones that were not as familiar with maybe could help us better understand them. Amy, did you

Amy: 18:59

and I have a quick Yeah, I had a quick question. Just need a 101. What is the modality?

Sophia: 19:06

modality is a practice? You know, a tool skeletal? Okay, got it. Okay, perfect. Can't be more fancy word for tool and practice. Yeah.

Katie: 19:16

I'm glad we clarified that. So so positive psychology is that? Is that what we were just talking about?

Sophia: 19:24

What positive psychology is the science of happiness? So when you hear folks like Shawn Achor, and you know, other sort of researchers in happiness, talk about, you know, the practice of happiness. Usually, they're referencing research that's been conducted in the science of happiness. So positive psychology, you know, the traditional definition, the traditional way that we think about it is, we're really focusing on what's good, what's good about people, right? Because traditional psychology focuses on what's wrong with people, right? How can we address people when they're sort of at a negative 10? How can we bring them back to a zero and positive side ology says, Okay, you're at a zero or maybe a two, well, that's not enough. How can we get you to a 10? Right? So we're focusing on maybe, you know, things that are already going well, and like, how can we capitalize on that? Or, you know, you're starting this, this mindfulness practice where you're aware that, you know, these negative thoughts are bothering you, you're not depressed all the time. But you're aware that you can feel better and more of the time. So what can we do about that? How can we understand who you are? And how can we bring your strengths to the surface to really help us out in that process?

Amy: 20:27

It's funny that you say that. So just a couple of comments. That's like one of the reasons we start our show off with our nirvana of the day or the week is in that same vein, it just like occurred to me, it's because we want to start out thinking about things more positively versus what went wrong is what went right. And I try to also do that with my kids, when they say, Oh, I have to do this. And I'm like, No, you get to do this. So I think all of that mindset stuff is so critical. So yeah, that's

Katie: 20:56

great. I just recently started working with someone to work on positive parenting, and it's like very similar, instead of always waiting for the child to not do as they're told or, or to do the wrong thing. And only like call out like, I needed you to I asked you to do this three times, instead of that, it's, you're totally focusing on the positive, like, Oh, she just did something really great. Look at that beautiful job, great job. And then the positivity builds on the positivity builds on the positivity. And the next time I asked her to do something, she doesn't right away, because she wants that positive reinforcement that she knows might be coming. So true. It's just like a whole different scope of of doing things. And then it kind of shifts everything. And I imagine in psychology, it probably shifts people's framework and point of view and how they're focusing on life in general, right?

Sophia: 21:47

Absolutely, absolutely. Yes. And I love those examples. Because, you know, we're not brushing over the negative things, right? We're not saying forget about the negative, pretend it's not there. We're saying, hey, there's a lot of positive that we're actually missing. We're missing because our brains aren't attuned to look at things that way. So we need to make it an intentional practice, like the ways that you just mentioned, you know, we can actually intend to unconsciously bring forward the positive that already exists in our lives. And that can influence our romantic partnerships, our relationship with our children, our relationship with ourselves. Yeah, absolutely.

Amy: 22:18

I have so much to say on this. So. And I want both both of your opinions, because this is something I struggle with all the time, because I think there are different types of people glass half full and glass half empty, just naturally, right. So like, I'm glass half full on my husband's glass half empty. And so our biggest argument is always about parenting, because I tried to instill what Katie was just talking about like this positive parenting like, look what you did, right versus what you did wrong. My husband's sort of the opposite. Although he's definitely changed and gotten a lot more positive. I've seen it over the years. So I'm really happy about that. However, it's I don't know if you see this in your practice, or in your conversations with people. Dr. Sophia, but I just feel like it's really hard in a household when one parent is doing it one way and the other parents doing it another way and you're not really aligns. And you know, you know, he'll also get upset with me if I'm not more aggressive or stern when you do an Aryan that's disciplinarian, which I'm really not because again, I tried to just like, focus on the positive and like, maybe to a false. I tried tried to be disciplined, but it just, it just depends what it is. Right. So I just wonder if that's okay. If people kind of have different ways, like, Is the child still getting the positive pieces? Do you know what I'm saying?

Sophia: 23:43

Yeah, absolutely. And I just want to say, first of all, that your experience is so common, you're not alone. And, you know, sometimes partners find each other because or feel feel good around each other because they complement each other. Right? And when it comes, and then they have children, and that expresses itself in different parenting styles, right? So yes, you know, I see this a lot. And I would say that, yes, your child is still getting the positive benefits of, you know, the approach to parenting that you're choosing, Would it help if there was a little bit more alignment in parenting styles? Sure. But it doesn't mean that you know, your child is missing out in any way from your parenting style. being supportive and positive. I think what the most important thing is, is what is the child seeing as far as how you and your partner are getting along about the styles, right, what are they getting from the nonverbal messages, right, the things that you're not saying because their children pick up a lot on that type of information. Right.

Katie: 24:39

So interesting. Okay, so so that kind of segues us into the next one internal family systems. Let's touch on that a little bit. What what is that modality?

Sophia: 24:50

Oh, this one. So this is actually a crux of my practice these days because it's, for me, and my personal work and professional work has been In just a year, it's something that's catapulted inner transformation for folks. So internal family systems is based on the philosophy that we're all made of parts. So nobody is really singular, like, I'm not just nice, I have a part of me that's really kind. And I have a part of me, that can be mean sometimes, right? And the idea is, let's normalize that, right, Katie has parts like that Amy has parts like that Sophia has parts like that. Everybody who's listening has parts like that. And that's just one example. But the idea is that we all have a variety of parts, right. And, first of all, they're all good parts. You know, even the inner bully or inner critic that I like to call it, that criticizes us all the time, or says we're not good enough and says all of these things, it's actually here for us is here to help us it has our back. And it's doing that to prevent further pain and hurt. So the idea is, let's look at all of these various parts of us, let's try to understand how they emerge because each of them emerged as a protective response to something that happened earlier on in life for us, right, so they're all there for a very specific reason, they wouldn't be there otherwise. So let's get to know these parts of us. Let's attend to them. Again, it's all about that relationship between me and me. So let's show you how to sort of tend to that part, understand it better. And that's where healing can really take place. Right? When we turn inward and we stop, again, hating what we find inside. Right? Again, we're taught that, you know, the critical parts of us are the ones that aren't perfect or fill in the blank for you, right, we all have a lot of similarities. But we also have, you know, some some differences based on how we grew up. But we're all taught that those are parts that we need to again, push away and shove away. It's the same exact idea as what I described with thoughts and emotions, because parts of us express themselves as thoughts and emotions. So again, we're welcoming these parts of us, like you said earlier, Katie, we're learning how to hold them genuinely not just because I have to, but we're learning really how to welcome them into our inner world so that we're no longer having this inner feud, right? Most of us walk around with this inner struggle, where, again, one part of us is like, do this, the other one is do this, and we're just bouncing around life, without any real direction. So with internal family systems, with that sort of approach, we can really help people help ourselves connect to, you know, some real inner wisdom, you know, connect to your true self, your soul, whatever you want to think of it as, so that you can direct the various parts that exist within you rather than being directed by them if that makes sense. Right?

Katie: 27:32

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's, that is that's really interesting. It's, it's kind of like, like, do you feel like when people aren't able to accept these certain parts of themselves, it can almost like manifest in other ways. Also, like, like, it can just start to create problems in life, essentially, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's really interesting. Yeah. So I feel like we, I mean, I don't want to ever skip over mindfulness and self compassion. But I feel like we are familiar and comfortable with those two. So I'd like to move on to somatic awareness. And I feel like you touched on it earlier, is that what Amy was speaking to earlier with, with Jules and recognizing the feelings in his body?

Sophia: 28:13

Absolutely. So the idea is just that, you know, our bodies hold repressed emotions, they hold unreleased things that have happened in our lives, and the body can be an entry point into understanding what's going on within us. Yeah. And again, welcoming that experience, rather than pushing it away can really help pave the way for emotional processing.

Katie: 28:32

Yeah, it's amazing how some people can be really in tune to their bodies. And then some people are not at all they can just go walk through like, My father is a good example. I mean, walk through life entirely where I feel like his head is literally not attached to the rest of his body. It's just the you know, and then there's, and then I'm like, almost, I swing on the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm so hyper aware of my body, like almost to a fault sometimes. But I am very much trying to teach our children about just like being in tune to what your body needs. And if your body's telling you to rest that that's important. And all of that, like we're, we've decided that we're going to label that our superpower in this house because I'm like freakishly into my body. So we're working on that one. But that's I've never heard of it as somatic awareness. So that's, that's great. I

Sophia: 29:19

love I love that Katie, I love seeing that as a superpower. Because it is it is our bodies hold so much wisdom, right? And if we just turn to it and start to speak its language, start to understand the language that it's speaking to us all of the time. We have access to things like oh my gosh, am I hungry? Oh my gosh, there's actually something I need that I'm not addressing and you know, all of these really important things in our lives. So I love hearing that. That that's a superpower in your household and yeah, somatic awareness is the you know, traditional scientific, you know, psychotherapist term, but yes, it's exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. And

Amy: 29:55

I think to our culture has such a I mean, I think the the pen Demmick actually helps this but our culture has such a go, go, go. Don't want like, push through, like, you know, oh, I'll skip lunch I'll like, I mean, our culture, we're just, you see that so much. I think the pandemic really helped people take a step back from that. But I think like what you're saying, I mean, I think you do need to be kind to yourself and listen to your body because I am much better than I used to be in that capacity. But years ago, I mean, I talked about it all the time on the show, I had migraines of vestibular migraines and dizziness, which I still haven't managed, but so much of it, I think, is linked to stress linked to hose film, not drinking of water, just not like taking a step back and really being like, how am I feeling? What else do I need today? Versus just like, going all day long, and like crashing at the end of the day, so it's so just exactly where you get, the more you sort of are in tune. But that's great that kids sorry, that the kids are getting I

Katie: 30:54

was just gonna tell I was just going to have the the example of exactly what you were saying when like, a few years ago, you were working so hard, you were going going going nonstop. And then you went to this charity event, you took the train back and forth in the past out. Like it's just like crazy stuff. Because yeah, we you know, it's like we don't take the time when you aren't listening to your body. It always catches up with you, right?

Amy: 31:16

Yeah, I was that particular that was like, Yeah, long time ago, I was at working like crazy. And then went to Disney World with the kids for a weekend. It was like a long weekend. And we were nonstop walking, did it like running around the entire weekend. And if anyone's been to Disney World, they know how exhausting it is with kids. And you're literally like on your feet all day. Morning tonight. Then I came back. And then I went to New York for a charity event. And I was standing at the event. We're watching a video, and I passed out in front of hundreds of people. And it was the scariest thing. So it's never happened to me before. And that was like the beginning of my journey to like figure out what was going on. But I mean, and it's funny, because I wasn't listening to myself. I wasn't like, Okay, I need to like, because a lot of times you feel and you know, it's funny, this was like our good friends charity events. So we didn't want to miss it. And a lot of times, you feel like, oh, I don't want to not go to something because you feel bad. But it sort of taught me like you have to listen to yourself and like really know, like, Hey, I should have never said yes to this because it's right after I was getting back and I know I need a day to like regroup. And I can't just go like other people can. So anyway, yes, I forgot about that. I was so long ago. But yeah, that was kind of like the beginning of all of my awareness issues. Yeah. Awareness, like blood sugar, or whatever that was. Yeah. Scary. Yeah.

Sophia: 32:35

And I just want to add, thank you so much for sharing that, that really authentic and vulnerable story, Amy. And I just want to add to you know, for everybody listening, it's a journey. It's a journey. Nobody, you know, on this call right now is doing this perfectly. We all struggle with, you know, parts of us that are used to overworking that's been the case for me or over, you know, fill in the blank, because that's what we've been taught to get our self worth from. So it's a process, you know, I don't want to make it sound like it's simple. Oh, just just tune into your body and

Katie: 33:04

how it works, right? It's hard work. Yeah.

Sophia: 33:07

But little by little we can, you know, again, create that invitation for ourselves. That's why I'm so glad that, you know, you guys are having this podcast and sharing this really important information. Yeah, what's

Amy: 33:17

interesting is in social media to the tide is shifting. But there's definitely like this, or at least there was seeing it last now. But definitely see it like this. Work hard, play hard, like, vibe with people where it looks like they're just like, doing all this stuff and not resting. And it again, feeds the beast of people feeling like they have to be doing all of these things and everything perfect. You might have to like hustle like I hate the word hustle. Not that I don't have a soul. We all have hustle, but it's like in doses, right? So these people that are like, I hustle, I get it done. Like you can't be you can't be successful unless you're hustling. 24/7 like, I don't agree with that. And there is that culture that I think we all try to lessen. But the more and more people that I think provide education arounds that you don't need to be that way to be successful and you don't have to be anxious to be successful. And you know, I think people that have anxiety feel that way to like, well, I'm anxious and then I think this way, and then I get this done. Because I thought that way and if I if I take a break or if I'm not anxious, then I'm not going to be successful because I'm going to be too relaxed or I'm going to be too calm. You know, it's like this perpetual. I don't know, I hear about it all the time. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, tangent.

Katie: 34:35

A good one, an important one. So I

Amy: 34:37

and what is what is the intuitive expression of arts? Let's touch on that one real quickly.

Sophia: 34:42

Oh, so? Yes. Um, you know, I think from from what I've seen, it's really important to give voice to the things that live inside us to the thoughts and emotions that live inside of us. And creative expression, whether it's dance, writing, art, whatever it is for you can be such a wonderful tool for healing. And it's just a great complement to all of the other modalities or tools that we've talked about so far today. So yeah, just giving voice giving form, you know, to whatever it is that lives inside of you, you know, some of my clients will draw, you know, that inner critic of theirs, right, just so they can externalize it and have it here, like, Oh, this is, you know, married the critic or whatever it is, that's just one example. Or drawing, you know, whatever you feel or, you know, molding clay into something or dancing, to express this, this outrage that exists inside of you, you know, again, our bodies are so attuned to what's going on in our emotional world. And by giving it form we're giving it you know, a way out, essentially, hmm,

Katie: 35:43

I love that.

Amy: 35:44

I love that. I love that, that that. I think I when I when I read that I was thinking about I grew up dancing, and I'm a dancer, and I was thinking about, I haven't done it in a while. But I used to, like, kind of go somewhere and dance just to like, I don't know, be free. And then also, I think with music, if you're in a bad mood, I mean, I think that's like the like yesterday, I was jamming out my car to good music and like that feeling can just put you into such a different state. So like, I think music is such a key. Like, I don't know, it can change your mindset so quickly, I think.

Katie: 36:18

Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And self expression. Also, just I think that that piece is really great. I'm trying to get my kids to be well Madeline's, like really into art, my older ones. I'm trying to get her to paint more and everything. I think that's, I can't paint to save my life. So or draw or anything. So I'd have to find your own expression. But I love that. And then you also use energy medicine, which I'm super curious, because we our episode that has just aired this week is is energy healing. It's with a Reiki Master. Is that what you're speaking to similar stuff?

Sophia: 36:54

Absolutely, yeah, Reiki is one form of energy healing, and I love being inclusive of all of the modalities that can really help us. And again, emotions also express themselves as energy that courses through our body. And, you know, we find when we again, become aware of our body, or so much of that, you know, there are blockages there are blockages in that energy, there are traumatic things that have happened to us where energy can no longer flow. And so when we tune into that, and you know, apply, you know, certain modalities or have energy medicine to complement certain modalities, it can really be wonderful. Yeah, and I firmly believe that, you know, energy medicine, along with other things can be really a really great tool to help people become empowered in their ability to heal and their ability to, you know, improve the course of their lives.

Amy: 37:42

What's another form of energy medicine, like we know Reiki because we just interviewed someone about it. But what's another example of that?

Sophia: 37:50

That's a good question. Um, there are different terms for energy, you know, tea and prana, and different traditions, as far as energy healing modalities. I know back in the day, I was trained in, for example, ancestral healing, that's another you know, term that practitioners might use. That one, you know, wasn't hands on. Reiki tends to be hands on or, or hands off, but hands is where the energy comes through. That one is more of a Mind's Eye imagined process. Yeah, so ancestral healing is another I'm sure there are many, many more. But yeah, that's just another example.

Katie: 38:31

I think it's really beautiful, how you're inclusive of, of all of this. I mean, it's kind of like Eastern meats, Western meat, you know, the energy healing piece, I'm sure there's a lot of doctors that maybe turn their nose up at it, because it's, you know, maybe like a little mystical, and it's very east Eastern driven and everything. So I think it's, it's just, it's super cool. I mean, it's, you know, it's like the happiness doctor, you can kind of bring it all to the table. I love it. So, you have also written a book, tell us about the happiness journal, because I feel like I could use this what tell us what it is.

Sophia: 39:11

The happiest journal is my second book, actually. It's a book that I wanted to write for a really long time, there are, you know, 52 topics 52 weeks different topic each week in a facet of true happiness, something that we know through practice and life experience and research to predict happiness and the questions are deep. I'm a deep lady. So the questions really get you to become introspective and really think and look inside and say, okay, you know, how can I bring this into my life if I'm going to be intentional about creating true happiness in my life? I need to start making choices to support that right. And so the questions will help you to discover some of those things that you can start doing and you know, you don't have to do all 52 of them, right. It's a journey just like everything else. You can choose the ones that speak to you right now. Oh, and it can be a book that you use for a long time to come. But yeah, I believe strongly in the value of questions. And that's how I actually do a lot of my therapeutic coaching is, you know, guidance through questions, because you are the leader of your own life, you know, I can have a sense of where we're going, and I know where I'd like you to be. But at the end of the day, it's not about me, it's about you and your life, right? And so asking the right questions at the right time is incredibly powerful. And in this case, you have a book where you can just sit down and do it on your own, you know, you

Amy: 40:33

know, it's like an actual journal, you can write in in prompt, that's, I love that I love like an interactive journal book like that. That's nice. I think everyone could use that. It's, we talked about gratitude journaling a lot. So that's like the good, good way to do it. Right, gratitude and answering questions through that book. So thanks for sharing that. What was your first book about?

Sophia: 40:52

You're gonna love this, it was the five minute gratitude journal. Amazing. Yeah. And that people love that one, because there are prompts you know, so you're not sitting there sort of thinking of a list of things that I'm happy for, which actually sometimes turns people into a less positive emotional state because they can't find something they're grateful for. So we have prompts, which really invites people into that experience of gratitude. And it is meant to really be a five minute practice, right? All the things that we talk about aren't meant to turn your world upside down and make it really hard for you. Change doesn't happen when it feels hard. So the idea is really to make things feel manageable, and actionable and practical and simple. And that's really what this book was designed for. You know,

Katie: 41:35

I love that because we have so many people talk about their gratitude practice. So many of our guests that come on, and I have been wanting to start it, but there is something a little daunting about it. Like what you just said like so all you do it first thing in the morning, and I gotta think through and so some days, it's like very it comes to me, but some days, I'm like, tired and groggy. And, and I'm not, you know, I maybe I'm not feeling super positive just yet. So then so then I feel stressed and pressure that I'm not. So it just doesn't pan out. You know what I mean?

Amy: 42:05

So overwhelming. Yeah,

Katie: 42:06

it's Yeah, so I don't know, I need I feel like if I had that it would be a tool, I would really, really use that help just to help me get into the habit of it, which we know the power behind it. I mean, I've heard so many people say when you start your day off with a gratitude journal just like changes the entire tone of your day. So yeah, I love that. And some

Amy: 42:26

people, I was just listening to a podcast recently, and someone was saying that they practice gratitude every morning, but they just like, they don't even write, they get up. And it's like, they're still in bed. And they just think about five things like right away could be small things. I woke up today, I, you know, I'm breathing, I whatever. But that really struck me too. Because sometimes, like I'll sit in bed, and it's just like, that's a good thing to do really quickly to just like five things as soon as you get up and you don't write them down. But I think writing is more helpful, because it's like, you're actually I just when you do the written word, I think it is probably more powerful. But on days that you don't, you could just think about it. I agree. Yeah, that's

Sophia: 43:02

a great alternative. Amen.

Katie: 43:04

Great. All right. So we touched a bit on how our listeners can find you earlier, but I just want to say exactly, your, your website and everything. So because I'm sure people are going to want to reach out to you for your coaching programs. And also, we should mention you do group coaching as well, right?

Sophia: 43:20

Absolutely, yes, I have a four phase group coaching program that takes you through the deep, but very practical process of learning what it takes to really, you know, heal yourself emotionally. So through four phases, you know, you're really taken through the process of healing, and you have the online work to support you. And then we have group meetings to support you and even some one on one one on one sessions with me as well.

Katie: 43:48

That's, that's fantastic. And the website is

Sophia: 43:52

the happiness doctor.com

Katie: 43:54

Can't forget that one. That's an easy one to remember. All right, so why don't we do our rap session? We have a couple of fun questions for you. So I want to know, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Sophia: 44:10

Alright, so this one's gonna sound a little cheesy, but it's very apropos given what we just talked about. But I do acknowledge that it's probably a little cheesy and a little corny. But I will say that it's gratitude. And the reason I say that is because, you know, I have a toolbox a really big toolbox of happiness hacks, right? And at the end of the day, I know for myself that if I can just invite gratitude into this moment, and really feel it not just write it down, not just you know, pretend that you know but really feel it. I have an instant smile. I have an instant smile. And you know, if there was any beauty hack at all available, I think smiling is it everyone looks beautiful when they smile, so I'm gonna be cheesy and I'm gonna go with that.

Amy: 44:53

But that is it all I know. I love it. That's

Katie: 44:56

such a good one. Yeah, smiling for sure. That's and it's contagious. till the smile is always contagious. Do you your gratitude moments do? Are they just like, do you do them throughout the day? Or is it like, you know, like one where you sit down and you go through the whole thing like we're discussing? Are they like little blips that you do throughout the day?

Sophia: 45:13

Oh, great question, Katie. So, I usually do, you know, the actual written journaling in the morning, and then I do sporadically throughout the day day, kind of, like Amy alluded to earlier, you know, I'll have spontaneous moments of gratitude. You know, for something that's happening right now, and again, I think I've just trained my brain a little bit to to notice those things. So yes, also spontaneously throughout the day, just feeling and noticing without any, you know, writing or anything like that. That's cool.

Katie: 45:40

Yeah. You heard that from the happiness Doctor herself. That's a genius one. All right, this next one we call our five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dry it off. And Uber just alerted you. They are five minutes away. What are you going to do to get in that Uber on time? Like, what are your holy grails, your go twos? What do you do?

Sophia: 45:58

I love that question. First, I'm going to calm my nervous system, because that feels really stressful. And then I'm going to put on something really comfy for me, the fabric that I'm wearing above and beyond the brands or anything, you know, for me just makes or breaks how I feel when I actually get out into the world. So I'm going to put on something really comfy that feels good on my skin. I'm going to put on some concealer, and maybe a little bit of mascara. And well actually before that I should probably hydrate so hydrate my face a little maybe take a sip of water and then apply concealer and some mascara and head out the door. Yeah, just a little bit. I'm a fan of the natural look. And it works where I live. So yeah, five minutes is doable.

Katie: 46:41

Nice. Nice. That's good. I like the fabric one. That's the first time we've gotten that about what you put on your body.

Amy: 46:46

Yeah. And it's funny. I feel like I do that too. But I never thought about it that way. But I always love like cozy and things that like feel really good. And yeah, it's not a good feeling to be uncomfortable on what you're wearing. I totally agree with that. Good one.

Katie: 47:00

Amy, one chick last one.

Amy: 47:01

Okay, and how do you maintain your daily nirvana? Which is sort of captured? But any other thoughts to that?

Sophia: 47:08

Hmm, that's a great question. I think just to, you know, consistent practice of being aware of what's going on inside, right and trying not to fool myself, right? Because we there are ways that we fool ourselves into thinking that we're okay. You know, we put on fake smiles and we go out into the world pretending we're okay. So that other people don't think there's anything going on. And we do that with ourselves too. Right? Oh, everything's okay. I'm still getting everything done. But really, yeah, are you okay? So I try to, I try to have a BS meter with myself, you know, operating throughout the day where, you know, I just check in regularly and say, okay, you know, what, like, what's going on right now? What parts of Europe? Is there anything you need? Is there any part of you that needs a little bit of self compassion, because I feel like if we don't actually take a few moments to check in, we miss those opportunities to be there for ourselves. So yeah, for me, it's just periodically checking in, even if just once a day, but really knowing myself like, are letting myself know I'm here for you. Like, I got you. I'm here for you. Because, you know, you've heard it before, if we're not there for ourselves, and who else will be. But again, it takes some intention, it takes a little bit of a conscious practice of checking in.

Katie: 48:18

And you know what else, it also keeps you very authentic, because you're staying very true to yourself. And that, that authenticity, I just feel like it exudes right. I mean, which is what we all strive for, is to be very true to ourselves. So I really liked that one.

Amy: 48:34

Okay, so I have a quick product review slash something I'm loving right now. And if we're thinking about like a quick, favorite wellness or beauty hack, I would say this has been my one for the last two weeks. So I love like a good spray, like a like a toner spray, because like dry skin. So spraying things to make me feel hydrated always makes me feel good. So I was at Trader Joe's a couple of weeks ago, and I don't go there that much, because it's not near my house. But when I do go there, I like like to look at all the new things. And I happened to be looking in their beauty section and I found this Trader Joe's rosewater facial toner. And it's $5. And I have something similar from the brand Kopari that's $25 that I use all the time, but I ran out of it. So I was like, I'm just gonna try this and like see, but honestly, it's like the same thing. And it's $5 and it smells really good. It's just like a very light sound. And I just kind of I'm just spraying for everyone that's listening, spraying my face. And I keep it at my desk and I just kind of like sprayed or it's just like a little moment of nirvana. I have to say because it smells really good. And Katie's thinking smells really good. And I know it just makes me feel good. It's just like a quick refresher. Just it's it's great. So I love it. It's $5 and Trader Joe's who knew that event sold this kind of stuff, but I love it and it's great. So that's my little thing I'm loving this week and Dr. Sophia we always end with A mantra to set the tone for the listener. So the one that I think is very relevant to our conversation, is this. The energy or it's something that I found online. I don't know if it's a mantra or a quote, but I'll but I'll say it. It's the energy for 2022 is only do what feels genuinely right in your intuition and letting everything else go.

Katie: 50:22

I love that. That's great. Yeah, totally agree.

Amy: 50:25

That gave me that gave me some inspiration. And by the way, fun fact, I found it on Janet Jackson's Instagram feed. Oh, love it. Oh, even better, random, better. But it just resonated with me. So I wanted to share that with everybody. So thank you so much, Dr. Sophia, for being on everyone. Check out the happiness doctor on Instagram and her website. She's amazing. We'd love to have you back one day you just emanate happiness, and I feel like so good going into my day now. So thank you so much for being with us.

Sophia: 50:53

Oh, thank you for having me. Katie and Amy, I appreciate it.

Amy: 50:57

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 44 - Parent-Child Relationship And Everything In Between With Parenting Coach, Erika Brunwasser Part 2 (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 44, Parent-Child Relationship And Everything In Between With Parenting Coach, Erika Brunwasser Part 2.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family, we got such an incredible response from parent Coach Erika's episode last week that we decided to add a part two and with some more pieces of feedback tips and tricks to talk to your kids. This one is really about getting advice on some real life scenarios. Really tough topics like sex, how to answer some of your children's more difficult questions, really, really helpful sort of templates, how to approach it, take a listen, and hope you enjoy.

Erika: 1:04

I'm really grateful for my time spent in the schools because yeah, was a window into adolescence, I worked at a charter school in Brooklyn with elementary and I also worked in high school. But for three years, I spent every day with adolescents. And I think having that insight, and they came to me with everything, I mean, everything there is not, I have not seen banging down my door, this Brown was Sorry, gotta talk to you about this, because BrahMos are going to do about this. And having that insight is so important for knowing and having foresight into what I want to develop and not develop in my own kids. And it's not going to be perfect. By the way, they're going to have plenty of their own should write

Amy: 1:46

a book. I'm sorry, the things I learned from middle schoolers. And I think

Erika: 1:51

that I've mentioned things to friends about, well, I don't want this to happen in the future. And I don't want this to happen in the future. And it kind of looks like anxiety like Erica, why are you worried about that? They're there. They're three? Like, what are you talking about getting a phone at 10? They're not three? Or what do you mean, they're gonna work crop tops when they're 12. They're three and six. Because I know what's coming. And we there are so many intentional things we can do in our families in the younger years to set up our family for connection and for success. And starting young is is a great way to do it. And I'm not saying it's too late once they're teenagers. But knowing that every night at nine o'clock phones go in the basket and having them see you do it. Yeah, will be much easier when they turn 11 to say, I'm giving you this phone, and it goes in the basket every night at nine o'clock. No ifs, ands, or buts or eight o'clock or whatever.

Amy: 2:50

I've fucked all that up. Lately, like, I started off good phone contracts the whole thing but now it's like a frickin shit show.

Erika: 2:59

It's just like, like, we're all we're all going through it. I'm not Yeah, I'm not perfect. You know how they say like, the shoemakers kid has no shoes. Yeah,

Amy: 3:08

I'm not always fine now. Like, in my head, like, I have my phone contracts. And it like worked for a little while. But now, with my 15 year old Forget it. Like if I asked him to put his phone away at nine o'clock. We used to do that. But now it's like, he has a girlfriend. He's this he's that like, I mean, it's in his room every night. And I've like given up and that's bad, but I can't it's like I gotta pick my battles

Erika: 3:28

your battles. Yeah, and, and nothing's perfect. And small progress is still progress. So maybe a night a week that you guys are just hanging out together and phones are away. And that's that has an impact.

Amy: 3:41

But we instituted like, no video games for my older son during the week. And for my younger one. It was like, I think we had like two days where they he can't play video games or something. And that's worked because it's been consistent.

Katie: 3:57

Yeah, that's great. If it's consistent, right? Isn't that what matters? Yeah.

Amy: 4:01

Katie, I want to hear your question about Maddie and what she asked.

Katie: 4:05

Okay, so that's that's a good segue. Why don't we Why don't we do some like quick scenarios and some of these can go really really deep so Okay, with as much as I would love we'll have to have you come back for round two? Sure.

Amy: 4:22

Feel like I've been like dumping all my problems? No, it's an appointment 100%

Katie: 4:30

Alright, so quick scenarios and how and how you you know, your quick advice on it. But we'll start with with what Amy said. So the other day, Madeline, my eight year old who's eight? What feels like going on 20 It's freaking terrifying. came to me and said, Mommy, what is a stripper? And I might hit the floor and I said to her Where did you hear that word? And she said I heard it on a teacher's ringtone which is code for or is code for? I heard it on probably a fifth graders ringtone on the bus ran because I Yeah, who's this teacher? What do they look like? She couldn't give me anything. Yeah, yeah, we didn't I didn't even worry about that the little white lie fine. My first reaction was, I don't know that word. And then I said, Oh, I think they're talking about a candy striper. That's a type of nurse. Then I ran to my bedroom and texted Erica, what the hell do I do? So, Erica gave me fantastic advice, and it worked in.

Amy: 5:37

Okay, so what was this advice?

Erika: 5:39

Okay, so, number one, I will tell you that I've had time to prep my answer to this question, because you did come to me with this a few days ago. So it's not as quick as some of my other answers might be. And I hope that that's okay. I want to cover a bunch of stuff that I think is important here. It can be about a stripper, it can be about what is depression, it can be about what is war? What is sex? This is my formula for everything. Okay. Okay. For number one, I love it. You thank your kid, thank you for coming to me with this. That was not easy to do. And I know that. And I trust you and you trust me, and I'm here for you. You were brave. You number one, you have to reinforce it. But for specifically for the stripper question. I think this answer is very much going to depend on the family's values, cultural norms, expectations. And the reason that I am thinking about this is because we're here and puritanical America is at the highest, purest country in America, where we cover up and we, you know, we don't strip and whatever. However, maybe someone in France thinks it's okay to be a burlesque dancer, right? You know. And I think that just in the same way that I work with clients, not to put my values on them, but to help them raise their children with their values. This is similar. So you want to show your kid, you know, that there are different ways of life without being too judgmental. However, because of everything that is going on in our world, raising a kid in 2022, is not the same as it was raising a kid 20 years ago. And it's not the same as it was raising a kid 40 years ago. And when a kid comes to you, with something like this, you should absolutely take the opportunity to share your values, and use it as a learning experience. Because they have so much unlimited access to information, right. And if you don't take the opportunity to educate them about what's right, and your family and what's not, they will make their own conclusions. And that's why it's so important to be able to set a tone, where in your house, you do talk about these things. So by thanking them, thank you for coming to me with this, you know, it's really, it's really setting them up or having said that, take it as an opportunity for for teaching and for sharing the values that you want them to grow up with, and have in your family, but be as factual as possible. And I think this is really important, depending on the age of the kid too. Because people always offer up so much information, they start to feel nervous, oh my god stuff. And they just share everything about a stripper that they ever knew in the world. But guess what, when a five year old asks what a stripper is, it's different than how you would answer a 10 year old, right? Which is different than how you would answer a 15 year old. And so I think being as factual as possible is really important. So a stripper is a word for some grown ups, who have a job where they take their clothes off and show their bodies to other people. That is a fact. So thank them for coming to you. Tell them the factual information, define it for them, and then share your values and your in the way you want to educate them. So it's not a job that I agree with, or it's not a job that I think is okay. It's it's not a job that I would hope for you to have one day, you're going to have your choice to do lots of other jobs. And, and you can remind them depending on the age as well. And you should remind them and when a question like this, that our bodies are private, we keep our bodies private, we respect our bodies, you know, we don't share our private areas with other people. So especially with an eight year old, this is something I would want to incorporate into this conversation. I wouldn't necessarily necessarily say it to a 16 year old because they already know that, you know, hopefully right? And you know, if they ask you more you answer and then at the end you always close it with I am here for you. And you can ask me anything else about this. Always.

Katie: 9:44

That's exactly what I did with Madeline and first of all, she was like salivating when I went to say I'm gonna tell you what this is. So she sat on my lap and she had a smile on her face like, Oh, this is gonna be good. Like that's totally what was happening. thing. And then I went through all of that everything that Erica just said in my own words, and she walked away with them was just like, Okay, mommy, I understand. Okay, thank you. And like, it's awesome.

Amy: 10:14

You went back into the room and you said like, thank you.

Katie: 10:18

Day, I told her I said, I Googled this, to find out what it is, which I don't know if like, that's good or not. But I'd already told her I didn't know what that word was. My track? Yeah. So and yeah, and it hasn't come up since. And she Yeah, I mean, it's and I, when you

Amy: 10:37

said like, this is something that I don't think is a good job. And you did it. Like, did she understand that? Like, what did she what were her reactions? Sure

Katie: 10:47

you understood it because I said, and Erica helped me on this one that like, not all adults make good choices, you know, like, we can all make bad choices.

Erika: 10:58

And it's because they're grown up doesn't mean they're always making the right choice, right. And then sometimes they don't have a choice. And you are going to go to college, and you're going to have a choice of jobs. Exactly. Some people don't have a choice about how they make money. And they feel desperate. I mean, they're depending on the age and things like that interesting,

Katie: 11:13

you know, and I also, I also interjected with one thing that I'm not sure if it was right or not, but I said, you know, mommy, like mommy and daddy would never want this job for you, you come from a very loving home. And sadly, not all grown ups always come from a loving home or have a have a supportive life coming up in the world. And so that has kind of led them to make these difficult bad choices. And I said, you have a very loving mommy and daddy that, you know, it's like, I don't know, I just it was kind of just like me more, make sure like honing it in that it's not anything that would ever interest her or she would even would be unnecessary or need or on the table. Like that

Erika: 11:51

part might be different with a 13 year old, right? Because they might say, you know, well, what if this makes me feel good, and you would explore what makes them feel good? What makes them feel respected? What doesn't? And you would explore? Well, you know, how do you feel about a five men standing around and looking at your body? Let's talk about that. This happens with a stripper, you know, you would, depending on the age, it's different. And then you're gonna talk about? Well, I think it's very powerful to share your own story. Sometimes you don't want to tell everything. But when I decided that a boy was going to see my body and my private areas, and by the way, I like to use real anatomy. Yes. Usually, when I decided that my boyfriend was going to see my vagina, by the way, vagina is not a bad word. It's a medical term for something that's on our body. And my breasts, I was in a relationship with that person. He was my boyfriend, we trusted each other, we loved each other, I felt comfortable with him. And I loved taking my shirt off with him, because I knew that he was going to be there for me, and he thought I was beautiful. And I felt beautiful. So depending on whether they're 515, eight, whatever, and all the conversation is gonna look different. Yeah. And the number one thing is, we're open enough that we want them to, you know, feel comfortable coming back, because if not, they're going to google it. They're going to figure it out on the bus. Exactly. We're going to come up with some weird explanation. You want to be the one to deliver it with your values, because you're raising a kid based on your values.

Katie: 13:31

Right? That is a great segue into sex. And I feel like you kind of just, like touched on it a little bit. But how do you talk to a kid about sex? I mean, my Madeline has. In second grade. She went to a Catholic private school last year, wonderful school, but they did send her home with a sexual abuse pamphlet in second grade, which I didn't really feel was super. Oh my god. Yeah. So when I didn't know that, at that point, and so I didn't say the word sex. It did. Yeah. And so she said, Mommy, what's sexual what sex mean? Like what sexual because what she meant, gosh, what abuse was, but she didn't understand that part. And so I just explained it to her in a very anatomically like scientific way. It's like Mommy has the egg Daddy has the fertilizer like that

Erika: 14:15

time. First of all, we have to acknowledge that sex is here to stay, guys. It's here. It's not going anywhere. Right? If you want your kids, just like with everything else, I've said, If you want your kids to internalize your values, and be educated by you, then you have to be open to talking about these things. Plain and simple. What you say sends a message and what you don't say sends a message. And it's very clear, and they absorb it and they know what they can come to mom with and what they can't or mom and dad and whoever. Right. So you have to you have to strive to make your house A place where they can come to you with anything or else Or else they will find it somewhere else. So with sex, I would be as factual as possible, especially with the young ones if they hear about it. sexes. My daughter actually asked me recently, something like was I was in your tummy and then I came out of your tummy. And I was like, yeah. And but how did I get in your Tomic? And I said, and that's a common one that parents get all tripped. They're not asking you to, like, tell you about your craziest sexual experience that you ever had one night in college like, asking you though, they're asking you, How did I get in your tummy? What is the answer? a sperm and an egg came together. And that is how you are in my tummy. Men have sperm in their bodies. Women have eggs in their bodies. And they come together, and they make a baby. And by the way, this accounts for differences in how people have babies too. Because some people, you know, don't have a mom and a dad, some people have two moms, some people have two dads, some people are from sperm donors, some are adopted. The fact is, for every single human being on this planet, a sperm and egg has come together to make a baby. Then if they ask you more, you go deeper.

Katie: 16:14

Yeah, that's great. That's That's it? Yeah, that's that's kind of how I was thinking about it. When Madeline came to me just like facts and like science. Right? You know,

Amy: 16:24

I mean, that's what happened with us with our kids, and also in school. And fifth grade is when at least here is when they do that subject. And they do it very science oriented. But they tell you before, so you can have that conversation before they actually learn it at school, which I think is really helpful. You know, speaking, speaking of googling things, this is a friend of mine years and years ago, Katie, you know, this friend, but I won't, I won't say who it is. Her daughter was asking her at a very young age what sex was and she kept. I'll tell you later, we'll talk about it later. Because when her daughter would ask would be like, in the middle of something that they were doing that like they were in a store, or they were you know, it wasn't like the appropriate moment. And she kind of ignored it a couple of times. And then her daughter, Google that. And porn came into her face. And she freaked out. Yeah. And it was like such a lesson one, I'd heard that because my kids were younger at the time. I was like, Oh, my God, that's so scary. And she's a very communicative mother. It's just like, you know, sometimes you just blow things off. And you don't think about the consequences of what that could mean.

Katie: 17:29

And you also don't necessarily know how big your child's curiosity is about it.

Amy: 17:33

Right? And you might hear it and ask once, and then she probably figured out they're not going to ask me again. Yeah, it's yeah, one quick thing. I'll say, my little one asked one time was asking me about sex or talking out about it. And I said, Oh, do you know what that is? And he said, Yeah. And I said, Okay, what would you think it is? And he said, Well, it's when a man and a woman get naked, and they take a bath together. And I said, okay, like, I didn't like clarify it. I just at that time, sort of just because sometimes they'll say things that they don't even know like, they think they know what it is, but they don't. And they said, I think

Erika: 18:11

when a kid thinks that and they want to know more, they'll come to you and say, Well, I thought it was this, but really what is it? And that's when they're ready to know, right? Yeah.

Amy: 18:20

Yeah. So it's just funny, because they'll say things that they think they know. But they actually don't. Right.

Katie: 18:25

Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, before we wrap, there's just there's two quick things that I want to hit. Yeah, Erica says this quote of hers that I love, and it really resonates with me and I, our listeners have to hear it. Because we all are busy parents all the time. And you know, it's like, maybe on a Saturday, when there's no work going on. And the kids are in the house. And it's like, okay, oh, I've got so much to do, I've got it, I gotta do the laundry, I gotta get caught up on this go up. The kids are here, I gotta, I gotta I have to be at the kids. Eric has quote is I have to be with my kids all day, versus I get to be with my kids all day. It's just like a little flip in the mindset that it really impactful. And it really, it was, like, last weekend, it was it kept going in my head because I could have been doing the things that I needed to do. But then I said that to myself, and it just like changed everything. And I was like I like enthralled in the kids. And we'd love that they're, you know, so anyway, it's a great one. I love that.

Amy: 19:30

I love that. Yeah, I

Erika: 19:31

think just reframing is such a such a big part of what I do with my clients, like, just just, you know, taking in as much positive stuff about them as you can and think of all the people who don't get to be with their kids for whatever reason, or, you know, just I think that we have to just look at them with the most positive light that we can and the more we appreciate them, the more they feel that and it's just like, the goodness gross

Katie: 19:57

Yes. 100% Okay.

Amy: 20:00

Yeah, I love that. And I, it's funny because I think we talked about this on another episode recently, but we were talking about like, mindset and like framing things differently. I've never really thought it as much. Well, I guess I have thought about myself more. But like if my kids will say that to go to school today, and I'm like, you get to go to school today, you're lucky that you get to go to school and not everybody, you know, so, yeah, it's really I love that. That's great.

Katie: 20:23

All right. Well, Erica, how can our listeners find you? Because now they're all going to be knocking down your door? Yeah, I was

Amy: 20:29

just gonna say do you do virtuals

Erika: 20:32

Of course, we've been doing zoom with clients, I google meet whatever floats your boat. I have an Instagram, which is parent coach, Erica Erica with the K. parent coach, e ri K. And anyone can look at that I share a lot of content there. Like you mentioned, Katie. I am working on my website, which is going to be parent coach erica.com, I believe but it's in the process. And you can email me at Erica Braun, Wasser, e ri K A B as in boy, are you NWASSE are@gmail.com

Katie: 21:12

Fabulous. And we'll have all of that in our show notes. Awesome. And trust me, you're gonna want to reach out to Erica.

Amy: 21:19

Oh, I'll be reaching out.

Katie: 21:22

Alright, so let's do our quick wrap session. Erica. It's just some fun questions. What is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Erika: 21:30

So I don't know if you guys know about Beautycounter. It's an amazing brand that has been developed by this awesome CEO Greg Renfrew in California. And it was the goal was to make cosmetics and skincare without 1500 of the most toxic ingredients that are commonly found in our in our skincare. And I sold it for a while and now I've just hooked it. I love it. Oh, nice. Really awesome. Is that Yeah, it's

Amy: 21:59

um, it's all vegan, right? Not vegan or organic,

Erika: 22:04

free of, of harmful chemicals. And it's really high performing to like, I find that it works just as well as the department store stuff. And it makes me feel good because I know that I'm doing something healthy for my skin when I put it on. Nice. Yeah, I love this. Oh, thank you.

Amy: 22:22

Podcast with the founder of beauty counter because I wanted to try it. They have like, it's like their own line, right? Because, yes,

Erika: 22:29

but she but it's awesome. And it's also you're supporting a small woman owned business when you buy from them because it has Alton's. It's just a great it's a really cool brand. Like I've heard

Amy: 22:41

it's really good. Yeah,

Katie: 22:42

I love that. Okay, so this next one we call our five minute flow. You just got out the shower, Uber, ping do the five minutes away. What are you going to do to get out the door? And in that cat, like, what are your holy girls? What are you gonna throw on and get in that car on time?

Erika: 22:57

Okay, so if I only have five minutes, I'm really hoping it's the summertime because I don't know if this is five minutes. I'm going out with wet hair and letting it dry. So hopefully it's summer. And I would just you know, put on my my face lotion, a little concealer, some eyeliner, little lip gloss a dress sandals and call it a day.

Katie: 23:20

Nice. Yep,

Amy: 23:22

we need some summer. I know. All right, now we're ready to the sun. And how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Erika: 23:29

Well, I would love to say that I attained nirvana every day. Myself. And even though I seem, you know, calm, cool and collected. It's not so easy when you're raising a three and six year old but I will say I take a lot of breaks. And I am not ashamed to say, you know, your whole podcast is about self care. And when I heard that when I first met Katie and heard about it, I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, we need self care. And I am not ashamed that I take breaks. I go get a 20 minute foot massage at the nail place. I do what I got to do. And thank God for my husband because he's extremely supportive. He is really my partner. He's my he's a team player. He takes over and does stuff with the girls all the time. And I'm like, gotta Garcia. I love them out. Mommy's going to the grocery store.

Katie: 24:24

All right, Eric, I love everything you just said we could not agree with you more. The breaks are super important. So having said that, let's close with our mantra.

Amy: 24:32

So the mantra is, smile. It's good for your immune system.

Katie: 24:38

Oh, I like that. Yeah, reminder.

Amy: 24:41

Yeah, great. I that was posted by a company that I just got some like supplements from called symbiotic AKA, I don't know if it's their quote, or they just don't know. I saw it on their Instagram recently. And I was like, Oh, I love that. That's great.

Katie: 24:54

Love. Yeah, smiling right now. All right, well, Erin co brandmeister. parent coach spectacular. I thank you so much for being here.

Amy: 25:01

Thank you so much.

Erika: 25:03

This is so fun guy.

Amy: 25:05

I feel like I vented everything that I needed to then and now I

Erika: 25:11

need to God we gotta get absolutely

Amy: 25:13

or Yeah, no, it's great. Thank you again. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things well now so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 43 - Parent-Child Relationship & Everything In Between With Parenting Coach, Erika Brunwasser Part 1 (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 43 - Parent-Child Relationship & Everything In Between With Parenting Coach, Erika Brunwasser Part 1.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation Welcome to the show Nirvana sisters family. This week we are sitting down with Erika Brunwasser, parent coach and educator. She graduated with a BA in Psych from Ohio State masters in school counseling education from Fordham. She worked for eight years in a diverse night New York public school system as a guidance counselor with students ranging from kindergarten all the way up to high school she was responsible for helping with all social, emotional and behavioral issues in order to help students succeed academically. She's ran countless student groups and individual counseling sessions, parent trainings, staff trainings, took some time off to be a stay at home mom with her little girl Sadie and then came back and ran a girls empowerment group for Fairfield County nonprofit life girl ran a teen community service group in Greenwich and is now a parent coach started her company recently. She's an entrepreneur, kicking this off, and I am super excited to have her here because guess what, she's my parent coach. Oh, we're

Amy: 1:35

gonna get all into it.

Katie: 1:38

She's blown my mind. And in just three sessions, actually, in just one session helped my family tremendously. And in just three sessions has just continued to be phenomenal. So welcome to the show.

Erika: 1:51

Thank you so much, quite the introduction.

Amy: 1:55

Welcome, Erica. It's so nice to meet you.

Erika: 1:58

Thank you guys. I'm so excited to be here. And I

Amy: 2:01

go Buckeyes. I didn't go to Ohio State but my friend Courtney is like, crazy buckeye. So anytime I hear someone because Ohio State I have to just throw that in there.

Erika: 2:11

Fans are definitely hardcore.

Amy: 2:13

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Katie: 2:15

Erica and I are live in the studio together. So that's fun. Because obviously we live close to each other. So we wish you were here, Amy, the three of us it would be so much fun.

Amy: 2:24

I know. I know. But I just have to say something. Katie, I think it's really vulnerable of you to come into the show and bring someone who you're talking to and kind of bring your personal. I mean, I know we always talk about our personal lives, but still that's really close to your heart. So it's nice that you have Erica here to bring wisdom to our listeners, but also like it's your own coach. So I think that's really cool that you are here, Erica, so thanks.

Katie: 2:49

Thank you. We're so happy that you're here.

Erika: 2:51

And I'm so happy to be working with you and to be talking to you guys. This is awesome. Good. Great.

Katie: 2:56

Well, let's kick off our nirvana of the week. You happen.

Amy: 2:59

i Okay, so mine was actually this morning. It was just Saturday morning. And it's always hard to get my boys up in the morning. And normally on the weekend, they sleep late, but my son had a bar mitzvah to go to this morning. And so I had to get him up. And he was like complaining and it was like whole ordeal. But anyway, by the time he got up and got dressed like he hasn't gotten dressed up in a while. So he's wearing his cute pants and buttoned down and he's like, let me do his hair, which was so sweet. I was like, let me just do your hair this morning. And so I did it and I put some gel in and he was just looking it was just sweet. It was just like a cute little moment because I just feel like he's getting older. He's 12 He'll be 13 later this year and we'll get bar mitzvahed himself, but there's just a sweet little moment because I don't know I just feel like it'll get a lot of one on one like, Mommy time he's not as you know, affectionate with me as he used to be. He did give me a cute hug last night too. So I don't know it was just a nice little moment for me. What about you Katie? It's

Katie: 3:51

really sweet. Mine was last night. Very like spontaneous impromptu. I ended up going into the city and going to a concert with my husband Adam. And he listeners just so you know, he is the most diehard Pearl Jam fan. He follows him around the world. It was Eddie Vetter, and his new band earthlings it was at a really like a nice intimate venue is at the beacon in the city. And I think just seeing him happy brings me so much Nirvana and joy like when he is his happiest. I'm just like, Gaga like like googoo gaga over him. Like I'm in love with him to begin with. But when he's like that, it I just love it. So it's just really, really fun. Like it's so much fun together and so sweet. And it was just it was romantic and fun and the whole the whole thing, so it was great.

Amy: 4:40

That's so nice. I'm sure you probably haven't been out in a while like that, too. It's just nice to be in like a concert I'm sure

Katie: 4:46

100% I'm very pleased that it was at the peak and now because it's like my concert speed. I need to I need a chair. Yeah, saying right through people. So but yeah, what about your IQ and what's your nirvana?

Erika: 4:58

I'm not going to tell my husband Because I really wish that we went. Okay, so my nirvana of the week, and I hope I'm doing this right, is there's no right or wrong. I did not have to wipe my two year old after they went to the bathroom. That's fantastic. That's amazing. And I'll tell you what made it even better was that my older daughter set up this amazing game in the living room, where she was the camp counselor, and it was the camp, and the mat was the pool and there was swimming lessons, and there was a whole thing. And when the little one said she had to go to the bathroom, my older daughter put on some plastic gloves, just like a camp counselor would do. And she said, Mom, I'm taking her to the bathroom, and I'm gonna wipe her do not come. And I said, I will not come. I will sit here and drink my coffee. And it was a glorious moment. That's

Katie: 5:46

amazing. Oh my gosh.

Amy: 5:49

Congrats. Amazing.

Erika: 5:51

So that was definitely a Nirvana and how old are your girls?

Amy: 5:54

will obviously two and three and almost six. Wow. So

Katie: 6:00

that's so cute that yeah, the older one right? Yeah, maybe it's so cute that she created a camp to

Erika: 6:07

definitely be an all star camp counselor one day nice. It's in her blood, I

Katie: 6:11

think Nice. All right, well, let's kick it off. Because we have so much to cover. So first, let's just talk about how and why you decided to become a parenting coach.

Erika: 6:24

So like many families, like many mothers, especially, I really, really had a desire to be present for my kids. And I think most mothers struggle with the balance, we want to work, we want to stay on our career paths that we started before kids, we want to feel fulfilled, we want to feel like we're accomplishing something. I think a lot of people can relate to that. But we also want to be present, we want to be able to know the teachers, we want to be able to know the friends and their families, we want to be able to drive a carpool here or there once in a while. So you know, just to be really honest, working in a school does not pay nearly enough as it should. Our teachers are heroes, and they're complete rockstars. And it's 2% paid triple what they're making. And I found myself the first year after she was born, going to my great job in the New York City Department of Education at one of the largest and best schools on the Upper East Side. And my paycheck wasn't covering the cost of my nanny. And I had insurance, which is, you know, definitely a privilege that a lot of people don't have. And I had stability, I was tenured, which is also a privilege that a lot of people don't have. So it was hard to walk away from it. But I knew that there was more for me, like I knew, as fulfilling as that work was. And as as amazing as it was. I couldn't hand over every penny to my nanny, and miss out on my kit. So I had to just pause. And we moved to Connecticut, I took a year off to be with her. And then I kind of figured it out as I went along. And when it comes to becoming a parent coach, I really felt like okay, what did I love what really, like they talked about sparking joy or feeling like you're lighting up, right? Like what lit me up in the schools. And I was always I always enjoyed the kids. And I always loved the kids. But I felt drained when I was with the kids. And after I would come home, I felt like I needed a nap every day. But when a parent walked into my office, I lit up. And that was where it got my energy. I've always loved connecting with the parents and helping guide them to do what's best for their kids.

Katie: 8:40

That's amazing. And you do it so unbelievably well. I mean, you really do like her advice and direct tips. It's huge. Like you get to the core of the problem really, really quickly and effectively and instantly has the answer and the tools and gives them to you. It's It's really impressive. And you guys are all going to hear that because we're going to give some scenarios.

Erika: 9:05

Thanks. I know Joe, always about being instant. I do think that clients want to feel that and they want to feel like I'm giving them a quick fix. And so I do have little tools and tips and strategies that I like to let clients walk away from walk away with from a session. But I think a big part of the magic is developing the relationship with the client, which time and once you you find that trust, I think you can help them really make positive change in their families.

Amy: 9:38

Because I'm sure they open up more to right so then you're able to get it more Yeah, more deeply into like whatever. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I also we're excited to hear all the things today.

Katie: 9:49

Alright, so let's get right into it though because I feel like your our listeners are going to walk away with so much value from this conversation. So we have a few scenarios and some Questions, etc. So, just to start off, like, what are some of the biggest issues? I'm sure there's loads, you know, that run the gamut. But what do you find are some of the biggest problems that parents come to you for.

Erika: 10:12

So I think I mean, it's obvious that we are all drowning in this pandemic, I think for a lot of people who don't have children, and who feel secure enough with their health, they've kind of been able to move on and live, quote, unquote, a bit more of a normal life. But I think so many of the parents were still struggling, because either the little ones who have not yet been vaccinated, and parents want them vaccinated, or maybe, you know, school closures, people are drowning, managing both work and, and kids school at the same time. So there's a lot of pandemic related stuff. But I would say that, a lot of times people come to me right away, because there's some type of behavior presenting in the kid. So it's something that's really hard to deal with, you know, maybe the kid is not sleeping at night. Or maybe the kid doesn't want to go to school, or maybe there are issues, you know, with anger in the home and how the kids handling stress, or, you know, there may be some diagnosis that they want help, you know, setting the kid up for success with, but when they come to me for what's appearing to be a behavioral issue, I think we ended up uncovering a lot of other things that had become patterns in the family, that they could just really use help kind of tweaking or making better or helping to impose some structure around. I think that, you know, when I work with the clients, that I really feel like, as a parent, we have two main goals, all of us, myself included, I feel like you know, our goal is to build a relationship with our kids, to the point where they can come to you with anything and everything. Because if they can come to you with the small stuff, they can come to you with anything. And that's a lifelong bond that you'll always have if you can develop that at a young age. And our other goal is to raise independent adults, even whether they're two or 12, or 22. That's the end goal. So we do a lot of working towards that. And sometimes the client may not even know that we're working towards. We are

Katie: 12:21

nice. Okay, that's fantastic. I love that. All right. So you mentioned the pandemic, what have been some of the pandemic specific struggles that you're feeling like you're seeing, do you is it just a matter of like, I'm sure homeschool, you know, the remote schooling situation, and all of that.

Erika: 12:38

And I think depending on the family's level of isolation, we're depending on the parents level of anxiety about the pandemic, I think the kids are really feeling that a lot of them are really struggling. It's, it's a challenge.

Amy: 12:53

You just touched on something that I think is so crucial, which is coming to you for anything, because I have, you know, a preteen and a teenager, and I think they tell me some things, I don't think they tell me everything, I'd like them to tell me more. And I'm just wondering, what do you suggest that parents do to make sure that their kids are telling them everything? Or, you know, being more open especially, I mean, I teenage boys, so they're not exactly the most vocal? My younger one is a little bit more vocal than my older one. But how do you sort of get to

Erika: 13:30

that? I think that, first of all, if someone comes to me with a young child, I would try to coach them as young as possible to set up that relationship. In the beginning. However, I believe that it is never too late. So your boys are how old

Amy: 13:48

12 and 14, almost 15.

Erika: 13:50

So you wish they would come to you with anything and everything. I have never met a teenage boy that was gonna go to his Father with everything and anything, right? That's not right. They hold a lot in. There's a lot of societal norms around being a male, that the way they communicate. I saw that firsthand in the middle school. Mothers walk into my office saying, what what is he doing? Who is he friends with? Who is he dating what's going on? And I would say, okay, take a deep breath, because they're really, you know, they're not telling a lot. But when they do come to you, whether it's 10% of the time or 20% of the time, the first thing to do is to validate that they came to you and to look in their eyes and to really bond and to say, thank you so much for coming to me with this. That was really brave of you. I know that a lot of kids wouldn't talk to their their parent about this. And I just want you to know that I am here for you. So regardless of the topic, number one you want to like reinforce the fact that they came to you and make them proud about it and strengthen the bond. And number two, whatever you're talking about, it could be something As simple as should I go to this party? And it could be something as you know, intense as, should I have sex for the first time, at the end of the conversation, I recommend saying to them, thank you for coming to me with this, I'm here for you to talk about anything. Because the more you can do that, the more they'll, they'll believe it. And, yeah,

Amy: 15:23

I love that. That's a really good point. And I think my husband and I will both we always say to our kids, you can come to us with anything, like you're never gonna get in trouble if you can tell us anything. But like, I think that's too vague and like they're like, great, but that doesn't really mean anything. So I think to your point, I mean, that's it. That's a good thing to do. I mean, I think we do that sometimes. I don't know. They don't i Yeah, but that's but

Erika: 15:48

yeah, more intentional about it, you'll see the transformation more, you know what I mean?

Amy: 15:52

Like, even if it's something small, like if it's about like school, or like, right teacher, like anything really validated and they feel

Erika: 15:59

right, like, how many times do families just go towards like, this is your teacher? Yeah, we respect the teacher. But like, Okay, we know that we respect the teacher, everyone who's listening to this podcast, cares about teaching their kids to respect the teacher, and their kids already know that. So like, Don't worry, like, Listen, why are they coming to you, we have to listen more, you know, we're all aligned, and that we should respect the teacher, our kids have absorbed those values most likely, or are absorbing those values. So I don't think that's necessarily the thing to emphasize in something like that. But to say to your kid, thank you for coming to me with this. I'm here for you. I'm here to listen, you know, that was brave, and really listening. And in so much of this world right now, we just don't listen to one another. And a lot of what I talk about in parenting is modeling. And if we can model that for our kids, just I'm here for you. I'm here to listen, I think that that's can be a really good tool to connect with them.

Katie: 17:06

That also really helps me segue into the next question, because that's essentially positive reinforcement. Right. And when Erica and I first started working together, the very first thing that we discussed was my daughter was Madeline, she's my older daughter, she's eight years old for the listener. She has pretty severe ADHD, and we're starting to get it under control and everything. And she's doing really, really, really well. But her and I butt heads like crazy. And I'll ask her to do something. And I have to ask her 25 times and then it escalates into an argument. And then I yell at her and the whole thing in Erica's the very first thing she said to me was, watch for things that she's doing that are good. It could be as simple as she gave her sister a hug. It could be something as simple as you asked one time and she and she did it. Every time you see good, call it out. Praise her acknowledge it. Give her positive reinforcement. Okay, so I did that. It was the like, literally, she'd been home for school for one minute. I asked her to do one thing. I think it was bring her backpack upstairs. And she said, Okay, so I was like, Oh my gosh, did you see that? One time that was so awesome. High five. Thank you. And then 10 minutes later, I asked her to put her shoes in the closet. She was already like, into her afternoon chill doing her thing. Normally, I would have had to ask 10 times and it would have caused an argument. The kid instantly got up and said, Okay, mom, and put her shoes in the closet happy as can be like, no problem. I mean, it worked. It was literally instant. And then we well, it was a very intentional practice that I did for the rest of that weekend and that I have been doing on most days. It's hard to actually like, get into that habit to train yourself. Yeah, especially when you're always like, only caught like don't get me wrong. Of course if she does something great. You know, there's plenty of times where I say thank you or nice job but like it's not super intentional. And I'm more focused on when she does something wrong. And when she does something's This is my life. Yes, that's right. And so like so we're always seeing the negative not the positive really trained that way and not just

Erika: 19:17

the positive. I'm sorry to interrupt you. Oh, by the way, I was thrilled when you told me that at our next session. I was like yes, it's working. She's she's seeing but to be specific positive is one thing but specific is completely different. takes it to another level. Right? Wow. Look at the way you just gave your sister a hug. That was so kind. You guys have a special relationship. And guess what? It will become more special because you're telling your brainwashing it's a self fulfilling prophecy. You are kind you are caring. And guess what she is now she she I mean, not that she wasn't now

Katie: 19:56

she believes it. Right. But she looks at herself that way. Yeah, it's come true and aren't like our hope, like relationship Maddie and I now it's like a totally different line of chat and communication and demeanor and everything like she's sweet now, like we're nice to each other.

Amy: 20:11

Let me let me ask you a question. And I have so much to say about this. Katie knows, because I'll explain in a second. But, Katie, so just for the listener, so that obviously change of mindset definitely helps. But it's, it's not. There's, I'm sure you're in a situation where it's like two steps forward one step back, or whatever that phrase is, because I'm sure she's not like that every time but I'm sure this has helped what like 80% of the time 70% is only half the time like, what do you say? Like if someone were to start, like, more intentionally doing specific recognition? Like, how much of the time is it working versus not working?

Katie: 20:47

I'm just curious, Leon's up for my interview.

Amy: 20:50

I'm asking for my own stuff, because I'll tell you my experience.

Katie: 20:52

Okay, so with so with us when I was incredibly intentional, like those first three days, that was my homework, Erica gave me homework. So I was incredibly intentional.

Erika: 20:59

Because I knew she would do it. I don't give everyone homework. I'm not gonna do it. I don't give Right.

Katie: 21:04

Right. But I don't mind the homework. I was happy to do it. So yes, it worked. Like 90% of the time that weekend, literally. And then I you know, life gets busy. And yeah, I'm gonna, like wasn't hyper focus and intent on it. So I wasn't doing it 90% of the time, either. So it's like it works like as much as you put in. Really, right.

Erika: 21:27

So but but I think I know your question. I think

Amy: 21:31

well, yeah. Yeah. Tell me and then I'm going to ask you a couple of things. Yeah. So

Erika: 21:35

yes, that's great. And praise and reinforcement. And being specific is all great. However, what do we do when there are real challenges and behavioral challenges and challenges with discipline that we need to change? Is that what you're kind of thinking?

Amy: 21:48

Yeah, it's an ongoing conversation that I have in my household, as Katie knows with my husband, because I'm very much a positive reinforcer. And he is somewhere in the middle, he used to be much more negative. Now he's a lot more positive, because I've tried to drill it in his head, but it's definitely a mindset. And you always go back to like what you're used to. But he challenges me on this very specific thing, because he'll say, Well, I mean, that's so like, why are you praising for all of these things? It's like you're treating this kid, like, literally, they have kid gloves. And it's like, you can't constantly reinforce all these good things. Because it's like, they get their, like, soft, and like, they never have any discipline and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

Erika: 22:34

if you hear that, and if you listen to that concern, what I hear underneath that is fear. It's a fear, will they if I raise my child in this way, will they grow up to be okay, in this world, right. And I think we have to examine that. And by the way, I am not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist, I do have a master's degree in counseling, but I'm practicing now as a coach. Because my degree was specific to school counseling. And I really recommend therapy for almost everyone on this planet, I think it's really important to look within ourselves, look at patterns that we were raised with, you know, what can we do better, really, you know, get introspective and figure it all out? So a lot of times people see me in conjunction with therapy. Yeah. But it's, you have to examine what is it that you value? And what is it that you want is do you value creating a strong bond with your kid so that they will be more more, you know, open to listening to what you have to say. Because if you value that, then you have to build the relationship. And if you don't spend time building the relationship, your kid and you will not be connected, and you won't, you won't be able to say then let's talk about what happened, right?

Amy: 23:52

Because if you're nagging them all the time, you're telling them what they're doing wrong versus what they're doing, right? Then you have a kid who like doesn't want to come to you because they think you're annoying or a pain in the ass or whatever. But to your point, what you were saying earlier, like what do you do when you do need to discipline when something is not right. And you can't always, you know, just look at what's right. Yeah, so

Erika: 24:13

I'm not saying that there's not a place for discipline and a place for structure, there definitely is it's actually extremely important to SET set up structures that are consistent and that are predictable, so that you don't have to come in and say, Get to your room. Because if things are predictable for a kid, and if we can set up the kid for success, and if we can prep prep, prep them as much as possible with what we expect in our household. Then they know what they need, what standards they need to meet. If they don't know what they're supposed to meet. How are they meeting it? If we don't have a family contract if we don't have a set of expectations for dinner time. If we don't have this is the way bedtime goes in my house. and how in the world are they going to meet that standard? They don't even know what it is. Good point. Yeah. So I think preparation and knowing what to expect, and having norms within your home that are very clearly communicated to kids. And this can happen with two year olds with 14 year olds, doesn't matter what age it is, is really powerful and getting them to do what you expect them to do the right thing. Yeah, Amy,

Katie: 25:27

we just started in our last session tackling exactly this the discipline area. And yeah, we just started like to take it down to a very granular level, Erica, just give me a scenario. And I said, Okay, dinnertime, dinnertime, Madeline wants it in her chair. She's up and about constantly. And she's like, sandwich

Amy: 25:44

accent, my older son, by the way, for context, also has ADHD. But he's 15. Now he's much, much more able to handle it. And like he has more tools, I would say, but I know exactly what Katie is talking about, because he was the same way when he was that age. And he's still the same way. Now he's still can't sit at dinner. But go ahead. I want to hear what you're doing. Because yeah, because it's

Katie: 26:03

I mean, it's really brilliant. We haven't I haven't implemented it yet. Because our session was literally just two days ago. But exactly to what Erica just said, we're setting expectations. So Madeline and I are going to sit down and I'm going to very much give her like the leadership role in the practice of creating this chart of what we want our family dinner time to look like and like maybe like five, you know, rules like what are we going to expect and kind of like, lead her to come up with some of them, you know, and like, instead of saying you cannot ever get out of out of your chair, and you can get out of your chair, like maybe twice, but you have to ask me first. And you have to know that you have to get right back in your chair after you've you know, like, shake it all out. So we're Yeah, we're gonna go through this practice together and and create this. And then I'm going to have the that poster board right next to my dinner table. And so she always knows what the expectations are. And also, I'm going to talk to her about the importance of why it matters to me and help her to understand that like, Amy, it's so bad, it drives me so psycho that I am now eating dinner by myself before the eats. And then we all come together at the table and mommy's fed. So don't get hangry and rip her apart. Because she's getting up every 10 seconds while I'm trying to eat. Yeah,

Amy: 27:14

you know, you're very much like you're very much like stew because my husband goes crazy when Jackson does that too. And like, to the point of roles, like we're probably and I think this is where my husband gets annoyed with me like I'm a little loosey goosey. I'm not too disciplined in that area. So like if Jackson is getting up at dinner, I'm more of an empath. And I'm like, he's had a long day, like it's fine. Like, as long as he's in the room. Who cares if he's not sitting? You know, I know he's got ants in his pants. So it's fine. He's more like, why can't you sit down at the table?

Erika: 27:45

Right? Here's the thing about that. Your parenting goals could do not have to be the same as Katie's parenting goals. And it's something that I'm constantly mindful of when I'm working with families, right? This is not about what I value. This is about what Katie when I'm in a session with Katie, this is about what Katie values,

Amy: 28:02

right? She wants everyone sitting at the table helping

Erika: 28:05

her to get to that point. And a child will never meet our expectations without buy in. And that's a big, big part of behavior. It's huge. We have their buy in. Were they able to come up with some of the expectations on their own? Were they able to understand why this is important to our family? So that's what you're working on now. I think yeah,

Katie: 28:25

exactly. Yeah.

Amy: 28:26

Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's good. And I need to do that more with school stuff. Because I think it's funny like, to your point Katie, like with with Maddie, I think specially kids, and it's just my observation, like, with my own experience, but I think especially kids with ADHD, like the positive reinforcement is so huge, because I think a counselor once told me this once like they're constantly every day from like a teacher or, like getting like reprimanded, like, sit in your seat do this, just so they're so it's like, their confidence is constantly like ticked down and down. So like, the more you can give them positive reinforcement and structure, the better they feel. And so I think my son has completely grown up in that area. He's like, so much more competent than he used to be. And he's really grown into himself. But when he was around that age, like same thing, it's just like, they're constantly hearing negative, so the more positive you can give them, I think the better it can be. I mean, obviously, for all kids, but I think specifically with kids with like attentional

Erika: 29:22

issues, I don't know if you can help your husband to kind of buy in and get on board also is that you know, you want to let him know like, these kids are really holding it in all day, from eight o'clock till four o'clock and sometimes sports after and whatever they do Hebrew school, church, whatever. Yeah, home at six o'clock for dinner and they are just dead. And by the way, they're not used to that pace of life because they've been in a pandemic for two years. I'm not against structure. I think structure is extremely important and expectations and clear expectations. but they have to be able to meet the expectations. And if the expectations are unrealistic. And by the way, this is not my idea. This is very widely accepted in the educational field, there's a brilliant author named Ross green, you may have read some of his books. I know one of the things you wanted to ask me about was like resources and things that I read is just amazing. I mean, almost every educator in schools has either listened to him or read him, he wrote the explosive child he wrote last at school, raising human beings. For kids with ADHD, I would recommend, okay, good to know, really, really talks a lot about this. And it helps frame our understanding of like, what we're asking them to do, when we're asking them to do it and just kind of be a little have more empathy.

Amy: 30:50

Let me ask you a question. Here's another one. Our listeners are gonna hate it. I'm like airing all my dirty laundry. But hey, why not? So this is like another one, small one. So my kids have chores, right? So my little one, he's just starting to get into it. Because he's like, oh, I want to, you know, whatever. And I'm like, Okay, here's your chores for the week, like, you'll get paid for the ones you do. So he gets something, not nothing. So my older one has had chores forever, and he does them, but always needs to be reminded. So perfect example, trash, you know, is always Friday morning. Every week, I would say 95% of the time, we have to remind him to take out the trash he does it. You know, whatever, half the time he brings in the CANS the next time half the time he doesn't, we have to remind him. So the conversations we have are to me, if I ask him and he does it, I'm good with that. To my husband. It's like, well, he should remember to do it and do it by himself without without us reminding him because then it really helps us. So we're not I'm like, I get it. But he's still doing it. It's not like he's not doing it. So it's always that like weird balance of like how, and I also don't want it to be like half assed I want I don't want him to like it's like this weird dynamic of like, if you're okay with him doing something sort of half assed or the full, complete thing. I just know, for some kids, it's harder than others to get the full job done any way that someone would expect it. Yes. So I don't know if I'm right, or he is right. Or if he's

Erika: 32:18

right. I mean, every kid is different. Every Yeah. And by the way, husbands and wives always struggle with this. Husbands and husbands struggle with this wives and wives, you're unsure. It's like the biggest thing, you're taking the people who were raised in two completely different households, who might be different, even from their sibling who was raised in the same household, and then you're marrying them and you're creating your own family together. So of course, you're going to have different expectations and different goals and different hopes and, and I think the fact that you're communicating about it, though, is a really positive idea. We

Amy: 32:53

Yeah, and we were, this was, you know, a while ago, I think now we're in a much better place. And he doesn't seem to be my husband. He doesn't seem to be as worried about it as he used to be. He goes in and out of like caring but and then the other last thing I'll say about this is the other argument we have, which Katie knows to which we talk about is like the taking away of things, like for example you do bad in school, you don't get your phone, you do that in school, you don't get your videos, whatever those things are. And I always struggle with this, because my mother in law always said something that always stuck with me, which was or which is the punishment should fit the crime, meaning if they do that in school, then okay, they have to like they do that on a math test. Okay, do 20 math problems, versus you don't get your game tonight? Because they're not related. And to me, that makes sense. But again, to my husband, it's like, well, they're not doing what they're supposed to do. Everything has to be taken away, because they're playing too many video games and too much fun. And they are, but to me, it's like not related. And I don't think it's helpful for the kid because I think even if you do that, they're still not going to do better on the quiz next time. Because I don't know. It's it's a constant like, so how do you how do you discipline and like, give them a punishment or consequence, that feels appropriate.

Erika: 34:08

So a lot of our ideas about discipline and consequences have come from societal norms, and from the way we were raised? And what I would ask is just because this is the way it's been done, is it the way we want to continue doing it? And also, I would ask your husband, if I was working with him? Is it working? That was the biggest question that I used to ask him by the way. Norms are different across cultures, too, right? So here in America, depending on your, you know, the level of income someone is raised with, depending on the type of, you know, area they're raised in, depending on their culture, depending on their race, I mean, the norms differ, right? So I had when I was born, Working in the city, I was at the largest middle school in Manhattan. And I was responsible for a grade of 500 kids, I was with them sixth, seventh and eighth grade and looped with kids. And I got to know families from every nationality and culture and race and religion. So interesting and socio economic background that you could possibly imagine. But the one thing that I did see was that people have ideas about how to raise kids based on the way they were raised. They're not always thinking about whether or not it's working, they're thinking, this is the way it's always been done. So this is how I'm going to do it. But then when I really sat down with a parent who was really struggling with their kid, and I looked them in the eyes, and I said to them, I got to ask you, is it working? And nine times out of 10? The answer was no. That's one of the things I do in my work is I help them come up with solutions that do work for their family. That

Katie: 35:50

was like a major aha moment for me when Eric Yeah, that to me, and looked me in the eye and said, Nothing is is that I knew all along that what I was doing was not working like I knew. But I didn't know better. I didn't know. And you don't know how, yeah, to like to say, I don't know the alternative. Right? Exactly. So it's not working. But it's still supposed to be right in my brain, this is still How you doing, if you want to know the

Erika: 36:17

alternative, you need support or not, this is not meant to be a single player sport, we need a village. We have been so insular here in our in our homes for the past two years. And for years before I mean, this society has been going towards, you know, so much kind of, you know, just being with your own family, I think in my observation, and this is not what parenting should be, we need grandparents around we need to answer on we need neighbors, we need friends, we need a parent coach and an objective, you know, expert in their field, who can really sit down with you and be your advocate and help you because these things are meant to be looked at and reconsidered. And, you know, I had families that I worked with who had been hitting their kids for years and years, that was what my parents did. And that was what they thought they should do. And and when I would sit down and really look them in the eye, like I said, and say, Is it working? And they would just just cry and say no, but what do right, well, we have to look at the way things are functioning in your family, in your home with a kid, what's successful, what's not successful and come up with a really practical plan that the kid will buy into, I really believe

Amy: 37:31

that's the key the kid buying in instead of giving them a set of rules, like here are all the things it's like, what do you think we should be doing about this issue? And let's come up with a plan together. Although if I do that with my kids now, though, like rolled our eyes, but still,

Erika: 37:43

yeah, you were did it if you did it when they were seven. And you said, this is why families need rules, rules do this, this and this, I would love to come up with this rules with you because you have a lot of great ideas. And then you make a list together, you draw it out.

Amy: 38:01

When my kids were little I had similar but it was more of just like the routine of the day. So we have this like big board with like all the boxes. And we'd be like, Okay, first we do breakfast, and then we change and then we do this. And it was very structure. But now you know now that they're older, we don't do that kind of thing. But I used to do that. And I used to like have pictures of them dressed with their backpack on so they knew exactly what to do. You know, so I totally does 100% work.

Erika: 38:25

And sometimes a lot of the struggles with adolescents, I think, and I think this is a bit of what you're describing is that their bodies have grown. But they're emotional development is still really young. Yeah, and we're treating them like adults in a lot of ways. And they're not there yet. And they still need the structure and they still need the support. And as much as they show us that they really want to push us away. They don't they just want our support to look a little bit different, but they still need us. And they still weren't

Amy: 38:55

so true. I think especially with my little one who's 12 Like he's definitely I would say more of a late bloomer than my older son like when my older son was in sixth grade he was like just much more I think in like it's much more mature now that he's in ninth but I feel like in six he was more like Intune my little one now just seems like so innocent to me and like he he really is he's growing but I think he still has the mind of like a six year old half the time because the things he does so it's a really good step back Yeah, emotionally

Erika: 39:26

Yeah, maturity probably. still really young.

Amy: 39:31

Yeah, absolutely.

Katie: 39:32

Yeah. Erica said recently on her Instagram page shape but which by the way for the listener her content is phenomenal with so many great like quick tips all the time, but you were talking about neediness like the these kids and we see it all the time. I'm sure we all do with all of our children when they're acting out or when they're doing something crazy because they need us they want to get they're trying to get our attention and it's Yeah, and you Like, you know, you hear parents say like, Oh, my kid is so needy right now. Because maybe like going over the top, or maybe they're going through something and they really, it's right. Like they of course they need us. They're these little tiny humans that were responsible for helping and developing. And it's just as a, as a busy parent, it's so easy to just not Oh, like an eye, full transparency. I am working with Erica, because I have had a very difficult year this past year, and I have not been present for my children. And that's a very difficult thing to say out loud, especially on the air. I have not been present with my kids. And it was it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in bed for eight weeks sec. It's like, Oh, what have I been doing wrong? What do I do to deserve this? What what did I do? Oh, that's what I did. I haven't been getting my children, me. And so many of us. It's so easy. It's so easy to do. That's just that and

Amy: 41:03

when you say that katg mean, just like you. Because I mean, I'm sure a lot of us feel that way. You just kind of getting through the day, but you're not I because I hear you. And I think like Katie is like the most amazing mother. She's so in tune with our kids like her kids are like, I just, I see you as such a good mother and so communicative. So like, I feel like I Yeah, half the time. I'm not, you know, I'm just like, be let me talk to daddy about something. You know, it's just you get through your day, and you're not really thinking that they're like these people that need your support in a way that you're Yeah, you expect them to be adults or something and just like, oh, go do your thing. But when Yeah,

Katie: 41:41

it's just a matter of like, I've had too many distractions, and I haven't been focused. And and Kevin been intentional with them. Yeah. Haven't been intentional. You know, I haven't they haven't had my like undivided attention for as long as much as they deserve it. Yeah,

Erika: 41:59

not realistic to think that we're going to give that to them. 24/7. Right. And that's so great. That's okay. And we have to accept that. But also the fact that you are being vulnerable enough to say, This is what's been going wrong, and I want to be here for them. I think that's huge, huge. And if you're really an amazing mother, and none of us can be everything to everyone. And I think that's why so many of us are drowning right now. Yeah. But yeah, this knowing that you're working on it is a huge, huge, huge step in the right direction, and they're going to benefit from it. And they're going to see you working on yourself. And they're going to absorb that and they are going to internalize it. And it's just really

Katie: 42:38

good. And it shifts everything like it like and I'm not saying that I am now supermom that gives my kids my undivided attention all day, every day. I just have now when I am with them, I am with them. And yeah, I'm working. I am working. I'm not like Yeah, and when I when I need time to myself, it's you know, like, I'm not interweaving at all so much anymore, right? Like, quality over the

Amy: 42:59

quantity. Yes,

Erika: 43:00

100%. And I was talking about setting them up for success when it comes to behavior. So knowing what the expectations are, it's the same thing with when you want to spend time with them. Giving them the expectations, here's what's going to happen in this next hour. And this can happen with a teenager too, or a five year old doesn't matter. Here's what's gonna happen in our family for the next hour, me and daddy are gonna sit at the kitchen table and have a talk for 20 minutes, you guys are going to watch one show. When that's over, I'm going to sit and play a special game with you. After that, I'm going to make dinner, boom. If you don't do this, there will be craziness all around. I prompt Yes. And I promise that if you do it, it will be much more calm. Not

Amy: 43:41

I wish my puppy could understand English. She's literally taken over our household and I need to go on a tangent. Turning your house upside down this

Erika: 43:55

next step we have

Amy: 43:57

Well, it's funny, it's funny too, because you were saying like Katie, were saying this before, like, your kids are going to be as consistent as you are. It's the same thing with a puppy. So like, every time she does something wrong, I look at my husband and we're both like, oh, it's our fault. Because you know you, you do what you can and then you're like, alright, I ever break and then she's like, you know, tearing up shoes or like, you know, having an accident somewhere. But we're like, oh my god, this is like having a newborn again. Yeah, but anyway, I digress.

Erika: 44:23

So my kids are a little older.

Katie: 44:26

Very smart. Yeah,

Amy: 44:27

I was gonna ask you something else about so all that being said, I have a question about just like today's environment. And I talked about this with a lot of moms because I feel like kids now everything is instant. They never like there's no patience. Everything's online like they can like everything is just it's easy, and they're all spoiled. Do you know what I'm saying? Just because we're not not not everyone. But you know, the people that I'm talking about? It's like we say the kids are spoiled in the sense of like, they just have everything that they need. and they have everything that they need at their fingertips unlike it was when we were growing up. So do you see like a lot of parents concerned about that, like their kids don't have any sort of grit because it's just so easy to like get access to anything that you need.

Erika: 45:16

So yes, parents are concerned. And yes, the resilience and the grid is an issue. By the way, Duckworth wrote an amazing book called Grit, if you guys haven't read it, brilliant, and she does a lot of positive psychology stuff, and it's really awesome. But um, yes, however, I would say parents are probably not as aware and not as concerned enough about that as they should be. I believe that from my observation, this is not based on research. This is based on my immediate observation. And this is also not only in this neighborhood where we live, which is pretty affluent, and people really do have access. But this is also based on my experience in schools with many diverse types of kids, is that kids and families are going at such a fast pace these days, whether they're, you know, living in an apartment, or a mansion, it doesn't matter, it is such a fast pace, there is so much on the plate of the parent, there's way too much on the plate of the kids, school days are long, they're in a million activities, they're on social media, their phones are way too young of an age. And people are not stopping to sit down and take a step back and say, You know what, let's just sit, let's just chill. Like, turn off the iPad, put it away. Like, I noticed, and I mentioned this to Katie, that during March 2020, April 2020, may 2020. So many of us had like an awakening, like, wow, the peace of the world was not sustainable. The world was stressful. And now two years later, look at us, we're back to that pace. And I really believe that sitting down and putting away the devices and being present, whether it's 30 minutes a day, or an hour a day, or even two hours a week on Friday night, like, I'm Jewish too. And like we observed Shabbat, we don't really observe, I mean, we light the candles, and we sit and play a family game away for an hour and looking in each other's eyes. And just getting back to old school is so powerful for these kids. And they really need it. And they're, and they're struggling without it. And they need parents who are willing to model it for them. And whether you're, you know, running a podcast or running a parent, coach, Instagram, or whatever you're doing, we're all guilty of it. We're all on the devices, and we're all going at that pace. But I'm very mindful, to put my phone away when my daughter walks in the room as much as possible, or to or to say, there are no phones at dinner. And if my husband needs to send a message for work, he walks away and does it away from the table. There are certain things that we need to be incorporating in this world of access in this world of fast paced craziness that I think many are not are not doing it. They're not as concerned as they should be. I think, yeah, I think we need to say to our kids, oh, you need a shirt, a green shirt for Spirit Day tomorrow, I'm not gonna sit there and click Amazon and pay for it, I need to take a step back. Let's go to the bank. And let's see if you have $12 for the shirt. And we're gonna go to Walmart or wherever we go. And we're going to pick up the green shirt together. And we're going to understand how much it costs. And we're going to understand that someone made it. And we're, you know, there, that's just an example. But there are things we can do to incorporate more of the way we were brought up and more of the values that we had, that are more intentional. I really do.

Amy: 49:02

I love that. And I really need to do that more, because I'm guilty of it too. Like every second. I'm like, Oh, you need to scale it. Let me just go on Amazon. It'll be here tomorrow. Like, I'm so guilty of it. But I know the other side. So in my head, I justify it. But I really have to watch my own habits because I do the same thing, which is probably why my kids do it. But, you know, I once had my kids pediatrician told me, which I thought was a great idea when my kids were younger and they were getting older. And I had this I was like how do we get them to talk to me more or whatever. And she was like, you know, once a month or once every other weekend. She's like you should do a family board meeting where basically you do an activity together, no phones, whatever. And we did do it kind of like more prior to the pandemic before we were spending so much time together. But like we would go on a hike, no phones, and it was always amazing because they would always not want to go complain. But then we've got get there and then they'd be talking about something that happened at school that week that we would have never known unless we had spent that time with them. So it's a good reminder to to do that. And the funny thing And I'll admit this, this is so sad, but that's sad. But my husband, he's so sweet. He goes, a couple of weeks ago, he was, you know, sick of the devices. In addition to that he's, you know, he hates all the devices, he just thinks it's ridiculous. And he's like, we're gonna do, you know, like family reading our, and we're all gonna grab books, and we're just gonna sit and read together. And I didn't do this, but in my head, I'm like, like, I was like, okay, but of course, we haven't done it because that's the other problem is like, we'll come up with this idea. And then we like, Don't Institute it, because we forget or whatever. But anyway, it was a great idea. And I was even Pooh poohing it in my head. Because like, I didn't even want to do it. I was like, maybe I'll different half an hour, an hour is a little bit long for me and my attention again. But it was just so funny. So it's like, I'm doing the same things and reacting the same way. So I'm so glad we're having this conversation. And for our listeners, it's like, getting back to that mindset of like, the intention behind all of these things we're doing is so crucial. And I think, to your point of getting busy again, I think all of this starts to manifest itself more negatively. Whereas like, during the pandemic, it was like a step back, and you're sort of spending time but then you're also doing whatever you can to get by. So it's sort of this mix and then you're spending time together and really appreciating it. And now that people are getting back into the world like those old habits

Katie: 51:23

of life is fed back in Yeah, like a creep back end so fast again.

Amy: 51:28

Yeah, so it's a really good reminder. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness, so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 42 - “Fin”powerment & Financial Self-Care With Wealth Management CEO, Elana Fine (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 42 - “Fin”powerment & Financial Self-Care With Wealth Management CEO, Elana Fine.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family. I am thrilled to have a good friend of mine, Alana fine on the show today. And this is following up from last week's episode where we talked about 2022 trends in well being and beauty etc. And one of the trends we talked about was fin empowerment, which is an interesting term for I guess, financial well being financial wellness. And so we wanted to bring Alana and to teach us all about the investing business world because I definitely don't know as much as I should I know enough, but I definitely am always looking to get educated in this space. But let me tell you a little bit about Alana before we introduce her so she is currently the CEO of VW G Wealth Management in DC. She has served as the Executive Director of University of Maryland's Dingman Center for Entrepreneurship. She has really been about around the entrepreneurship, business and investing world for a long time. She began her career as a technology consultant with Accenture and also worked in investment banking at Bear Stearns and revolution partners. Also, she served as an adjunct faculty member at the Smith School of Business at Maryland's Eneco as she also had a podcast, which we'll hear about later called bootstrapped. She's been listed as a tech titan by Washingtonian magazine, power woman in tech by tech biz now and one of 50 on fire by DC Ino. She also earned a BS in finance magna cum laude from Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland, an MBA in finance and accounting from University of Chicago, Booth School of Business. So she's clearly very well qualified to be telling us all about what we need to do about taking care of our finances and making sure that we're looking at things in a holistic way that doesn't stress us out. So welcome to the show. Alana.

Elana: 2:24

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Okay.

Amy: 2:28

So we want to start out the show just to take a step back and talk about our nirvana of the week. So Alana, it's something we just do every week to kind of take a step back, think about our week what brought us joy, what brought us that little spark of joy? And I will hand it over to MIDI. Yeah,

Katie: 2:44

sure. First of all, hi, Alana. And thanks for being here. This is really exciting. I definitely can use some advice in this sector. So this is a great stuff for us. But my weekly Nirvana I think it happened last night. I had a little moment. I've been a bit under the weather as Amy and Alana know and last night I was laying in bed not feeling so great, just kind of down and pathetic and pitiful. And so to lift up my spirits. I went around my house and collected like all my favorite things like you know, my Buddhas and my crystals and my, you know, all these little things that just kind of perked me up and bring me joy. And I just surrounded my little corner of the bedroom with them so that they were all in my eyesight. For whatever reason, it perked me up and it just kind of helped me focus on what's important and stop my pity party. So that was my moment. What about you, Amy?

Amy: 3:36

That's a good one. I think this week, I didn't really have one specific moment. But I did feel a lot more, I would say joyful this week. Because last week, getting back into the new year, we were all recovering from COVID. There were snow storms. The kids were virtual at school, and it was just kind of like, I wanted to start off the week. But the whole I wanted this to start out last week being like fresh for the new year. But the whole week was just a blur and like awful I would just like didn't feel connected to anything. And this week, the kids are bad like I'm banging out work and just like feel a lot more energized. And so that has brought me a lot of joy because I feel like I'm back in the zone. What about you, Alana?

Unknown: 4:15

Yes, Amy. I totally felt that same way last week to like, hard hard week to start on those New Year's resolutions. Nirvana moment, was actually did a lot of cooking on Sunday night and kind of preparing for the week, my son who Amy knows she was actually how I know Amy is got really into cross country and track and he decided he wants to do more meal prep so that he better throughout the week. kind of need to get some calories on those and that guy and anyway, so kind of inspired me just in general because he was doing that just to do a little bit more on like, meal planning and getting, you know ahead for the week and so I While everyone was doing their thing on Sunday evening, and the guy had three different things, cooking and music playing and a nice glass of red wine, and it just made me feel kind of exactly like you were saying me because the week before just felt a little out of control and not exactly how I wanted to start the year. I felt like this was kind of a way to get back a little bit into controlling I'm not someone who like necessarily does a lot of cooking but it was nice to just be in in the kitchen cooking and feeling like I had checked off a number of things for the week even started

Amy: 5:30

that's so nice. Wait, so did already cook with you.

Unknown: 5:32

He did a little Yeah, he was he made some some some chicken and some sheep pan chicken and broccoli and rice and any head of little containers and had it all ready.

Katie: 5:43

That's great. Yeah, I need to do that. I've always wanted to do that. And I've never taken the time to give it a shot. But I know a lot of people that do and and they say it makes a week but go by so So eat so much easier. And also you're very healthy because it's boom, you just grab what you need to go.

Amy: 5:58

I know I feel like I went through phases of doing that. And it is so much easier. But yeah, just gotta get your head around it and do it. And then you're like, so happy during the week to have done it. Yeah. Okay, awesome. So we're gonna get into a couple quickfire questions. So Alana gave a little bit of your background, but why don't you kind of give a quick intro to the audience of who you are and all your fabulosity.

Unknown: 6:18

Thanks, Amy. Yeah, yes, thank you. So I feel like I'm someone who definitely has had a bit of a circuitous career. But every kind of what's been underlying all of it, for the most part has been has been really involvement in in finance, and kind of a finance and investment world. And so even starting, I started my career at Accenture, I was doing, I was doing consult technology consulting, I would say I should back up the kind of intersection between technology and finance. So I was doing technology at at at Accenture and then went on to to business school in Chicago, where I furthered my further my education and finance and accounting did a internship at Bear Stearns, actually summer of 2001, before September 11. So it's an interesting time to be in that space. And then actually ended up because of September 11, after business school joined a startup investment bank out in Boston that focused on mergers and acquisitions and, and venture capital fundraising for technology companies, mostly venture backed technology companies, was there for six years left when the firm exited when the firm was sold. And then spent a couple little bit of time at home and young twins at that time. And then through a very strange way was connected to University of Maryland to for a position to run their angel investor network, which can talk about kind of angel investing as your one sphere of getting involved in your startup companies and investing in startup companies. And then ended up really enjoying it. I'm a, I'm a Terp. And so I love it as you can on video, you can see some pictures in the back. So love being on campus, kind of a great work life balance, have young kids, and ended up being had an opportunity to actually run the Dingman Center of Entrepreneurship, which I did for about eight years. And then felt like it was time to leave time just get I've been in academia for a long time and felt like it was time to get back into the private sector and had an opportunity I had been a lot in my career doing advising companies. So both on the consulting side and the investments making side and then extensively running entrepreneurship centers working with hundreds of students, startups and regional startups in the DC, Maryland, Virginia area, which is great, but I felt like you know what, I want to be in an operating company. And so a role came up DWG wealth management through one of my board members at the diamond center and it just felt like the right time even though I've not been in the asset, that's one kind of silo of of finance that I had not been in is the wealth management industry. So felt a little a little hesitant being so far out of my comfort zone. But my job is really to, to, to run the company versus advising necessarily on on investment. So that's my I joined the firm as a CFO and actually was just re was just promoted to CEO.

Amy: 9:19

I was gonna say congratulations.

Unknown: 9:21

So that's it. I just feel like so throughout. Like I said, I've just had the opportunity to work with a lot of companies and also a lot of entrepreneurs around all around finance and investing space.

Amy: 9:35

Yeah, I love that. I mean, I'm sure you saw so many cool ideas working in entrepreneurship for so long. And your space is like the complete opposite space that I'm in which is more of that creative and marketing and said this world always interests me, but it's to me very same at dating and I'm sure Katie can speak on that too. And I think to most people that are not in that space, women are other it's like you hear Are these words and you're like, what does that mean? And I don't want to sound stupid saying the wrong words. And so I'm so glad you're on to kind of give us like the one on one on what we need to know.

Unknown: 10:08

And I will say Amy like that is actually like the one of the reasons I've started talking about this idea of women and financial self care and financial well being, is that I saw these really interesting similarities and not an interesting and not great similarities between the venture and startup world and the investing world. Because when I was in working with a lot of entrepreneurs, and at when I was at Maryland, we tried to do more for to get women and minorities in entrepreneurship. And there was that this gap of, okay, basically, all that investors were white men in their 50s. And 60s, which is a lot of investors are in kind of the wealth management investing world. And it's these two places where there just not a lot of women, and places where women just haven't don't feel familiar with the vernacular of the vocabulary and feel really intimidated. So just like a woman entrepreneur, who feels like they go out to raise money, they don't feel as comfortable, you're talking about their for the finances of their startup business, which are exactly the most usually some of the most important questions an investor is going to ask. So that's for that reason, I may just feel like women, I want to be helping women to feel more comfortable, where

Katie: 11:25

were some of your personal mentors throughout your career.

Unknown: 11:29

So I would say it's interesting. The when I joined a firm, called Revolution partners, which Amy had mentioned, and the two owners of that firm, really, I think, ended up being probably the most impactful mentors to me, both both men, not necessarily women, I don't actually feel like, I don't know, in thinking about that, that I would have one woman and tour that stands out, fortunately, but um, I feel like they were starting their business and they had been worked in anyway, I don't need to get about the background, but they just while watching, I had the opportunity to watch them over a period of six years, you'll grow their business, and work as, as partners. And also it was, you know, for me, kind of after business school, just when I was learning, actually, I feel how to be in the business world. So like, they just always offered little tips here and there. Like, for example, and I always tell this to new employees I have on my team is like, if you're invited to a meeting, you better make sure you say something. Like, if I bring you to a meeting, I don't care how hard it is like or say to me ahead of time, like what am I going to say in the meeting? So now, every meeting I'm in, I say to somebody, what's my role in this meeting, if I'm not the one, you know, leading it, and so that just along the way, working with them for that period of time, I feel like I'm often thinking about things that that I learned,

Katie: 12:50

I feel like you were noting that you didn't necessarily have a female mentor in your career, but you're kind of stepping in and filling a gap that wasn't there as a thought leader and a woman in the space doing that. For others. That's That's really amazing.

Amy: 13:04

So one of the things Alana that we were talking about in the financial wellness and like empowerment space, was this report that we were researching Pinterest predicts and they were talking about this trend of empowerment and so letting financial freedom ring in 2022. So people taking money matters in their own hands as they set out on new journeys towards financial literacy, specifically with millennials, driving the searches behind investment tips, financial education and investment property for beginners to some of the search terms or searches on Pinterest were investment tips, passive income tips, financial education, financial planning, bullet journal and investment property for beginners. And so all of those were up anywhere ranging from like 50 to 200%. Over the last year or so, I found that to be really interesting, because it seems like just from my observation that people are getting more comfortable. Maybe not talking about it so much, but looking at other ways to invest in thinking about ways to diversify their portfolio versus just like the traditional corporate case. So I guess, like starting out, I know, obviously, you do more than just this, but just from like a 101 best practices, if someone's listening that's young, like what should they be thinking about as they're growing their wealth?

Unknown: 14:23

Yeah, it's a great question. I think, first of all, is, I would say a lot of people think immediately about in building their wealth, but they haven't, they have to know everything about, you know, stocks and bonds in the markets. And I think yes, it's fairly important. Like you should know the basic terms like you should understand the difference between a stock and a bond, you should understand what the different in stock indexes are and what that means to be following the market. You should understand what a mutual fund is and how that's different for you from a tax perspective versus maybe better than Owning you know, a single style, you should understand those things. All that being said, and I'm not trying to like give a pitch necessary for industry, you don't need to be the one actively managing your portfolio for a lot of people, it's like, stay in your lane, you know, for all of us. And you know, when you grow businesses, it's like, what do you do best and what you know, outsource the rest, but you want to make sure that you're informed enough that you can, if you have a financial adviser, or you're want to do things on, you know, online, that you know what you're that you can protect yourself. But so I think like, that's like one in kind of the investing world. But where I think people don't spend enough time is more on like, the personal finance world of understanding your what's available to you. So you when you think about understanding interest rates, you know, understanding why, why was it a really good timing, we we refinanced our house two times I didn't want it once in 19, and once in 20. But understanding why it's important or important, when you see written interest rates going down to check and do the math to feel right, refinance your mortgage. I mean, and what does that, you know, what does that mean? And what does it mean, as you follow? You see, you hear, hear about interest rates going up or down? Well, what does that mean for existing loans you might have? What does it mean for your, your, your credit cards? Like how does kind of that macro environment in in impact your personal finance? So I think that's really an important other things that I think people are, you know, women particularly don't pay close enough attention to and we need to understand is, what are your workplace benefits, you know, that impact your finances? Do you understand your 401k? Do you understand what your company is matching, like, if you can, you know, if you can't max out your 401 K, which you should certainly try to do. But if you can't at least max out your at least put in enough to get your employer's match. That's just pretty money. Right? Right. Other things like health care savings accounts that people have at your understanding the tax implications of those things are really important. Understanding your estate planning, what does that mean? Like? Have you checked off and put a beneficiary on your 401k? You know, do you understand like, the tax implications of the things that that you're doing, those are the things that on a day to day can make a real impact. But I don't think that people think about those things at often, and probably don't educate themselves, as often, I would say, particularly women, and I think that's a part of, you know, we talk about if empowerment, and financial self care is like, those are the things that you need to do to take care of your finances, so they don't create stress, like all the other things, you know, the the whole goal of wellness is to try to take your kind of stress out of your life and like be living a better life. And sometimes, most of us just don't think about that part of it. Yeah, I

Amy: 17:53

think a lot of people probably just like, set it and forget it, and like don't even really reassess it because it feels it's your point, like intimidating and overwhelming. So like, in that vein, it's funny that you say that about these these tips and tricks, because obviously, I'm on, you know, social media a lot and listened to a million bazillion podcasts. And there's a lot of young tick talkers that are doing bits and pieces on financial advice, like, and it's like a 32nd. Have you checked your this today? Or? Yeah, and I think that stuff is really helpful, especially for me where like, I don't know, a lot of the stuff most of the stuff I've learned in this space, I feel fairly educated, because I learned it from my husband, because he's so deep and knows everything. And you know, I'm always learning from him asking questions, but I also feel like those little pieces of content helped me but what kind of resources would you suggest? Using?

Unknown: 18:45

Yeah, I think that all those I think anything right, like first started start somewhere, right. So even if it's just turning on, you know, CNBC in the background in the background, I follow, you know, elle vest, I think is a great site to understand, you know, some personal finance, understand the markets a little bit and, you know, I think that their social media presence is really strong. I do think like, I think that kids are learning a lot more in personal finance and financial literacy is now being integrated into the schools significantly more I think, even in Greene County, where we live where it's going to be, I think, but more integrated into the curriculum. And so kids are learning and they hear about things the kids are are like kids, my 15 year olds probably are being exposed to more than certainly more than I feel like our generation was but even the millennial millennial generation as well because of so much on social media and because there's now this intersection between the business world the sports world and the tech world. I think they're seeing a lot more how that kind of all ties into finance briefly when you see like, like the all the mean stock so the kids understand what happened in Gamestop because they they know about it.

Amy: 20:00

I think you're bothered by some. Yeah, they,

Unknown: 20:04

I mean, they are following they're interested in in Kryptos. And they want, you know, they want they want their own Bitcoin or, you know, Dogecoin they want it, they they hear about these things, and then they go, and they have the resources to go find it, which I think we didn't have, we couldn't just click through and say, Oh, what is that? I'm Let me ask, you had to ask somebody into your point, Amy, you feel like this, asking him like, Did I ask him? Like, you didn't ask a dumb question. And I don't think women were like, taken under their wing to say, Hey, make sure you get good life insurance, you know, like that. I think, you know, people probably

Katie: 20:39

did, yeah, that's, that's what I was gonna ask. I think modern day technology is making it easier. So it's just more accessible. I mean, I know I had a financial app at one point that was just like helping me monitor my savings and like, really simple things like that. And, to your point, what you were saying earlier about what they're learning in school, when I was in high school, the most financial advice I was given by teachers was how to write a check. That was all it was taught. So it's pretty sad.

Unknown: 21:07

Which I write it for our students do not know how to write, like, what's the chapters? Yeah.

Katie: 21:12

So you mentioned crypto, yeah, that my husband, I hear him talk about it all the time. And him and I've talked about it, he's explained to me a little bit, but what are your thoughts on it? And for the listener, explain what is crypto and fts? All That Jazz?

Unknown: 21:26

Yeah, I mean, I think yes, I think so. I think that it's right now, I think, depending on your, you know, depending on your net worth and your ability mean, their crypto will have cryptocurrencies will have a role to play, you know, in, in our economy in some way. Who knows, you know, the value of it is kind of, I think, will continue to fluctuate, and I think there's like 16,000 Different cryptocurrencies out there. And, you know, the idea that it's just, it's the idea behind I mean, there's, there's two parts of it one, the technology of the blockchain, which I am not going to even try to attempt to explain, but all of us will eventually need to understand, but the idea that there's like a ledger of record that you'll be able to go and kind of that is you anyone you'll be able to access so that no matter where you are like if your healthcare records are in the blockchain, versus having to go that there's like that there's kind of have this virtual system of record, that will can be used in a lot of different ways. I think that it is not necessary, I think for cryptocurrencies, I think people don't really know what they'll how they'll be used yet. I mean, it's almost like the internet, right? Like, it's like, get started, you're like, there's this thing out there that, you know, people were largely like, using for form, you know, like, and then it turned into a way to do a million different things. So I think crypto will probably you'll be that way, you'll be that way too. I think there are some really interesting, you know, if you look at the way, you know, the NF T's, which is a non fungible token, and there's been a lot of big, you know, a lot of buzz about it, because you'd have these, these pieces of art and, or articles or tweets going for, like all this crazy amount of money. But I do think there's an interest in, you know, some interesting applications of NF T's because, you know, so much value value kind of is lost along the way, like a piece of art, you think about it, you know, the art that's been sold over and over, the artist only sees that, you know, that value wants, right? So if you're able to kind of, etc, essentially embed some value in a way that is never lost, wherever that piece of art is transferred. And that artist is able to almost have be able to be able to capitalize or monetize on what they've created later on. I think there's some applications there should the everyday person you should only be investing, I would say in any sort of cryptocurrency, that's money that you can lose, like you should I think that is the best way and is and if you're using it, to learn, I think that'd be the best way to like I say that a lot with your investing in. In startup companies sometimes like, you know, that's money you have to, you have to be willing to never see that money again. And you feel like you're investing in that startup because you want to learn something about that industry for you know, for example, so great advice. So no, no, no, if that tote.

Amy: 24:27

No, I was question. Yeah, I was I was mentioning this when we were talking about this topic prior in the prior podcasts that we have a lot of startup investments and some others and the startups are just things we like or things we want to learn about. But one of the things that I did specifically was invest in a firm last year so I could learn it was a women Ross venture fund led by these two women who are sort of serial entrepreneurs because I believed in them but also I wanted to understand it, because we as a family have investments But my husband really leads them and kind of I asked a lot of questions, and I learned about it, but I'm not managing it. And this one I'm managing, I'm actively like reading about it. So it's helping me to learn more about the space. But I did have a question about Kryptos. My understanding with cryptocurrency, is it, when you buy it does the value of it change? Like all the time, it's very erratic? Is that the whole thing? Why you don't know what you're getting? Like? How does that part work? I don't really understand, I think,

Unknown: 25:29

well, the value is change. The market is just very unstable right now. And there's nothing, you know, there's also nothing it's, you know, well, there's nothing backing up the value of the currency other than the supply and demand for the currency. So like, the, you know, there's the whole kind of mining of the coin, right, there's a limited number of coins that are created, I don't exactly understand, right, you know, there's some also ESG, which we could talk about also, like the impact of that some implications of the power then energy that is used to the court to mine the coins, but it's any, it's, it's just like anytime you have your markets are volatile, volatile, as we can see right now, when there's just a lot of uncertainty. And I think that the the ongoing ups and downs of the various of the crypto space Bitcoin as a theory, and that's kind of the the two leaders just creates, that's why you don't know what the value is, which makes it hard to be a currency, you have views, right? Like the reason that you separate from put our current inflate, put our current inflation numbers aside, right. But like, if you have $1, right and a day, you generally want to know what you can get for that dollar. So yeah, right. Now that's changing, but like, it's, you know, that's why countries that are unstable, when they have crazy inflation rates, like, you know, 1,000,000,000% a day, we're one day, your dollar means something and the other day, you can't buy anything. And so that's why they, you know, that's kind of why people are skeptical of cryptocurrencies, because, you know, as a use for commerce, because everyday, they're not stable. And you don't know what you have. Yeah, yeah. And so like,

Amy: 27:15

yeah, my understanding is to that it's hard to cash it in a way like, there's all these hoops you have to jump through, it's not like you can just go on and pay something with crypto. And it's like, you have to log in and do this. It's very complicated. Is that correct?

Unknown: 27:34

Yeah. So I have so I have a coin base account. Yeah, I've invested in both Aetherium and Bitcoin. I've never, I haven't done anything with it. I'm just it's just sitting, it's just sitting there. But different companies, like, you know, Tesla look and said, you know, we you can pay for your Tesla and in it and in Bitcoin. And you know, there'll be places where I guess there'll be like Bitcoin ATMs eventually, or maybe there are some, you know, I haven't followed it at that as closely. But that's kind of the idea, right? It's kind of hard to necessarily take it and then use it to purchase something. Right. You know, so it's this weird thing? Is it? Is it a holder? Is it an embed this is also why like they're having trouble kind of figuring out how to regulate Bitcoin, because is it a currency? Or is it an asset? That's, you know, is it an investment asset, because yeah, we both just like you wouldn't go to the store and use your mutual fund to buy your milk. But it's kind of a little bit of both right now.

Amy: 28:31

And for the NF T's because I follow that a little bit too. And I saw there was a lot of that at art basil, like a lot of these NFT activations and innovations which is cool, but I still like cannot get my head around it like you buy this exclusive piece of art or whatever it may be. But then it's like, how do you enjoy it? Like how do you see it? It's just it feels so strange, because it's not tangible. Like if you buy a proper piece of art you put in your wall you're like, Okay, I'm seeing that but the NFT it's like this digital virtual like,

Unknown: 28:59

I think I only the way I can put my head around it is like anything that's viewed as something rare and scarce like that. Did you follow the one with the different I think it was like different versions of like a pig or something like a cartoon. Got it. I read about it over the summer. And they put out like 1000 they created that each had like a different it was like a comic of some kind or illustration of saying line. And if you held one like anything else, like I've got like, like a rare coin or something like that. It's like, you know, it's kind of like how people collect things. And I think it just fits in to this like idea of like what the metaverse and like what that's going to mean and the value of it but I do think we just have to like anything you have to understand it right if you if you think it's helpful to try to you know over time understand Egypt understand it like right now like is it the priority for everybody like right now like all the things we've talked about and for women to understand, I would you know Bitcoins, probably not the top on the list, but you can But you should to, like along the lines what we're talking about, don't be afraid of it. And I think right you got like you're saying, ask the question don't be in the world, saying like, assuming that you should just understand Bitcoin or understand blockchain I've been explained to one is explain blockchain to me, you know, 100 times, it's still hardly understand. It's, I'll still try to ask. But like, if you hear somebody talking about it, do exactly what you're doing, Amy is like, you know, like, explain it to me again, like I hear I get this or explain it to me again, or explain why someone would do it. And I think those are the questions like, women shouldn't be afraid. Like, if you're at, you know, the days when we would go to like parties, to dinner with friends. Like shouldn't be afraid when you hear people talking about that they bought some bitcoin, just saying, okay, just explain it to me explain it like I'm your mom and explain it to me. And I think that's the key thing is to, to ask the questions about it. So that depending on where the role that cryptocurrencies any of these things play, you're not feel like oh, well, it's too late to even ask what a you know what a cryptocurrency.

Amy: 31:04

It's funny. I was listening to a podcast earlier today, and someone was talking about crypto and NFT, and all that stuff. And they were like, yeah, right now, it's kind of like, Bro world. It's like, a lot of bros are into it. And I pray and I'm like, That's so true.

Unknown: 31:17

It is. Yeah. That's actually that's pretty funny. I think it's important

Amy: 31:22

to ask those questions, not only with all this innovation, because I just find it fascinating. And it's so hard to wrap my head around. But even the basic stuff like you were saying before, because I don't feel like sometimes I even know the basics. So like, I think it's up to us, as women and leaders and whatever, just to ask a question and not feel like you're asking a stupid question. Because I think a lot of people especially me, like I'm uncomfortable with a lot of like numbers and money, because I'm not the best math students. I'm always like insecure about it, where we're with other things like the talk all day. So I think it is important to continue to empower all of us, yes,

Katie: 31:58

go ahead and pletely agree numbers, not my strong suit in any way, shape, or form. So we were just touching on Kryptos and NF T's, which I feel like is very advanced market talk. What What if we dial it back? Because I'm curious what some of the trends in the market are that you're seeing, but also, I have had conversations with my husband about understanding why the market is volatile. Why is the stock up now and dropping, you know, in a week from now, and it goes up and down and up and down? And to really wrap your head around that? And it's I know, it's it is as obscure as just like supply and demand? Or, like you said, the instability of the world right now and everything. So what are some, some, some things to mention on that to help people better understand watching the markup?

Unknown: 32:44

Yeah, so I think like, first thing is like to try to not have knee jerk reactions to the market and understand like, you know, it's, you know, there's the market is a random walk, but it kind of always goes up right over time, right? And you have to, and you just have to recognize that being in the market, you have to have the stomach for some ups and downs. But fundamentally, you're investing in businesses. And so you should be that's I mean, the market is essentially a you an aggregation of a bunch of businesses, and some are well run well, and some are not run as well. And so I think that's to one is like, make sure you just have a long term view of the markets. While it's important to kind of understand like, so you're not freaking out about it. Understand that there are is always going to be volatility, but just understand like over over time, your your need to be investing for the long term and investing in businesses that have good fundamentals. Yeah, I learned that would like I assumed going into the wealth management industry, like everyone would just be all day long, like looking at market, like, how can you be away from your you know, and that just wasn't the case at all, you know, at all, obviously, like, in March and April 2020. We're watching it very closely, and making sure you're making changes, but like, we don't make you know, we over time make changes, we move in and out of funds, we change people's allocations, depending on things going in their lives. But we're not sitting around all day going in and out of your funds and investments. Right, because they're just in it for the for the long haul. I think that's most important to understand. You know, I think the other thing to understand is, this is exactly what I think you were talking about Katie with your husband is like this is just an A Nope. And waiting. Just you know, I saw some tweet where it says Will someone let us know when we're back in the precedented times? Because we keep saying we're in unprecedent? Right. Um, you know, but we are and I just think we just don't there's so much that the market just doesn't know how this will play out what industries will survive. I mean, what industries will I mean, I think there's a there's to Amy's point. I mean, there's so much innovation that has happened in such a short period of time. And so like what will there's a huge productivity gains that will likely come out of this period, because of the technology that have been created. Because of me, because of our ability to work, you know, for home to have the infrastructure, you have to be able to work from anywhere, even when we do or don't go back to the office. You know, but other industries, like, you know, ami and the hospitality industry, you know, you kind of seeing like, Okay, how is this going to? How is this going to play out? What will this mean for business travel? So I think there's some some long term impacts that what we're seeing will have on certain industries, but we just still don't know. And I think you're seeing that, and I think that, you know, the combination, I'm not an expert on it, but I just understand that the combination of, you know, what's going on with interest rates and inflation and the Feds job to control to control inflation, and unemployment, you know, the rising, the labor shortages, all these things apply. It's all coming together, and we just don't know how it's gonna shake out. Yeah, I don't know how to answer your question, Katie. I mean, I think the last thing I showed a sec should say is like, as it relates to kind of the basics of what we should be knowing I think what people and women specifically should know, it ties my other comment is like, your investment and your your financial portfolio needs to really align with your own financial plan. That's other my take away from you kind of is that like, what like, even just, you know, the two of you who are related you, I imagine you have, Katie, I'm just getting to meet you. But I know, if you have different, you've may have totally different plans for yourself, like for your, for your, for yourselves, for your kids, for your potentially for your aging parents, you might have different ideas of the kind of like philanthropy you might want to do, or the travel or if you want second, you know, have another house or totally live somewhere different in retirement, like, all those things. And when you might run it higher. Some people are like, You know what, I'll retire at 50? Well, you're gonna have a very different plan, than if you are retiring at 65. And so I think that it's really important for people to understand, like, as they talk to and learn, it's really about themselves and their families that they're, you know, not necessarily like the whole broad market. But you know, how does that impact you and the things that you want to you have to do with your money? I mean, how can you, would you, how do you, you have the, you know, what are you saving money for? What are the what are the ways that you want to use that, that money and in the future?

Amy: 37:29

Yeah, that's a really good point. Because I think two people look for like a formula, like, what should I be doing? Exactly, and it's different for everyone. And the ingredients are just different. Some people want things, some people want another. So it's really a personal thing I was wanted to segue into entrepreneurship. We talked about it briefly earlier, because we were talking about our kids being definitely more in the know about finances and investing in all this stuff, which is amazing. I think one of the things that I think has impacted it, too, is Shark Tank, because I feel like everyone loves that show. And they're so interested in all the investments. My kids watch it all the time we watch it as a family. And I think it's done such great things for entrepreneurs. But I just wanted to understand, since you've been in that space for so long, and Katie and I are really young entrepreneurs starting this podcast and brand and business, and we're learning as we go, like incorporating and, like all this stuff that we didn't have to do before me working. You know, I still work for a big corporate company, and Katie working, you know, independent, like, we just never had our own company in business. So just want to get your thoughts on what you're seeing in the entrepreneur space or kind of how to, how to think about it and what, what you're kind of seeing out there in that space.

Unknown: 38:43

Yeah, I mean, I think like I like as I just said, I think that this has been, you know, when you have lifts, kind, so many changes. And when you also have your people potentially losing jobs or seeing new opportunities, this great resignation and idea of yeah, you just see a flurry of entrepreneurship. I mean, I think like after the Great Recession, and 2000, each of those nine was, you know, you saw a significant increase in your new business starts. And we're definitely seeing that, as well. And I think you're seeing more women start businesses as after kind of post kind of, I can't even say post pandemic, but pandemic era because of all the things that we're seeing people wanting to work from themselves or work for Home or just saying like, I that's not the life I want, I want to go start this. I think there's going to be, you know, a significant increase in, in new business and just a lot of catalyst for new new ideas. There's also a lot of funding has definitely been been, has been increased. So I think it's a good time as an entrepreneur to be raising money. For sure, I think you've seen an increase in the least in our local area of the amount of money flowing into into startups. I think, you know, broadly, I guess when you mean like, what else am I, you know, I think that there is a huge opportunity. I just think that I guess I should say, I just think there's a huge opportunity the more women get into entrepreneurship, the more diverse entrepreneurship entrepreneurs we have, the more ideas that we're gonna see out of things that just haven't been. You ideas that just no one has thought of, like, I always think of one of my favorite entrepreneurs, when I was at Maryland, is a company to women, three women, African American women who started a company called Aurora tights. They were figure skaters and gymnast. And they identified a gap in the market, a whole void in the market. Because all the tight four figure skaters and gymnasts and dancers were firm, white people. And they had to go through a process of dyeing their tights to match their skin color process. And they came together and they like, had been in different sports, and they created the company to address this problem, right. And then, and like. So I think that's what's really probably exciting about what's going on in entrepreneurship right now is that people were how we'll have more tools to start businesses, they'll feel like, I think they'll feel more comfortable leaving jobs, people have saved money to be able to do that. But I just also think there's a whole host of problems, whether it be more like social problems, or problems that identify different groups of consumers that current products and services have not addressed, that are out there. And even this podcast is a perfect example, right? Like, of just like, hey, let us take, you know, let us focus on health and wellness for women, and identify all these amazing entrepreneurs and products that are out there that hasn't been done before. And so I think you guys are a great example of, you know, what's probably going to, we're going to see more and more of hopefully, you know, as more you know, women and I think minorities become more engaged in gains in the startup world, and like, it totally dovetails or, or other conversation and feeling more comfortable with the tools and raising money and going and asking for money. And knowing what that means Shark Tank is, is great from that perspective, because people understand more and more the concept of raising money and giving away equity in their company and what that might mean. You know, I don't know if he had always read things exactly the way it shows Shark Tank, is that you're gonna go out and raise money and what and be able to answer those questions about what's the money going to do? What are you going to use it for? And tell me more of the product. Tell me about how you how you charge? You know, how many customers do you have? And being able to answer those questions? You that's like that is

Amy: 42:48

right. That show really brings it out in the open. Whereas before it was all like behind closed doors, you don't really know. And it really teaches you what are the questions and what do you need to be really crisp on because you see the people that fumble and they don't have the numbers the

Katie: 43:01

first time I heard that word valuation was watching Shark Tank, you know, it's like you learn all these little things. I want to ask you, as you know, Amy and I very, very young entrepreneurs still like a lot in research and development, everything, but we are talking about raising some money. And it's the littlest smallest, it could be big, it could be small tip that you have for us going into our first round of raising money, what would you suggest or anything for us?

Unknown: 43:26

Yeah, sure. I mean, I think that your understanding, understanding the dynamics of your of the market, and so being able to explain to an investor, what, essentially how that money will be able to get you from point A to point B and what the right metric is. So like, if you guys are trying to get more subscribers, you know, does that mean? What? How will the investment in impact, you have that specific metrics so that the investor has a good sense of, you know, okay, if I invest here, my expectation is, hopefully you'll, you'll get to here and then we can we can go from there. But your vision for the business, and then what the yoga metrics are, I

Katie: 44:05

think I think you're important. Yeah.

Amy: 44:07

That's a really good tip. I love that.

Unknown: 44:09

Happy to as you guys think about it, happy to talk to you more.

Amy: 44:13

I'm sure we will reach out. And

Unknown: 44:15

the second thing is like in this market, particularly, you know, you only asked for one but I'll give you two. Yeah, just how are you different? Like, I think that you know, understanding particularly as more and more pot podcasts come online, even though I think there's a huge opportunity in podcasts, but explaining like how you're going to be different and how you'll continue to differentiate yourselves.

Amy: 44:35

Yeah, and Katie, Katie, and I talk about that all the time because while we have started as a podcast a year in that's sort of one angle but really the brands and the company is Nirvana sisters in the podcast is an extension of that. So we're trying to think like, Okay, once our subscribers are at a point where we feel like we can go broader, what does that mean and where do we go? So these are all the conversations that we're having. So yeah, well done. only pulling us more than would love to get your thoughts. So speaking of podcasts, tell us about your previous podcast.

Unknown: 45:07

Yeah, so I, so our podcast was called bootstrapped. And it was we launched it, it was kind of fun because it was launched by a former student of mine asters vos, who's actually known in the DC area. As asked for Santana X, who's kind of a radio, radio, his isn't been a radio personality. But he wanted he had the idea to launch a podcast company which he has done, which is now called give them a plug for Pikeville media, which is based out of DC. And he felt like myself and my co faculty member, Joe Bailey would be good podcasts. But we did not believe he, we trusted him. And he felt like we had such from the network of the Dingman center of both of local startups and students startups that we have had some really good stories to tell, which as you guys know, that's kind of a big part of it was the story that you're telling. And so the reason that we call it bootstrap was because most of the episodes were around funding companies. And so while you know, I kind of look at it as very similar. I don't know if guy Roz from how I built this, but that's one of my favorite podcasts is it was kind of like that. He's been a bit more successful than we were at it, but um, you're kind of hearing entrepreneurs stories, and then, and then hearing how they, how they funded their businesses was a big part of it. And you find that most people like, you know, actually get outside funding for their companies much later than you'd think from watching Shark Tank. Like usually, you know, you do do a lot. You have to build the company make a lot of mistakes before you're ready to, to go out for funding. But I think we recorded like 55 episodes, I think over five, five seasons. And it continued a little bit after I left, I think but the pandemic made it a lot harder to do because we weren't you enjoy it and get in person. I loved it. I really loved it. I think it's just I love and it's why I love so listen to how I bought this. I just love hearing entrepreneurial stories. Amy, I think you had mentioned that your dry bar is one. So my story, her story, like we're interviewing her like, yes, like you love seeing, like what people do with like, like, what Beyonce is done with her brand with when a pouch was done. Like that's, that's those are

Amy: 47:32

stuff. I know, it's incredible,

Unknown: 47:34

when you hear a story about like how somebody had the idea to go to people's houses, and thought that they could build a business because you told us really like you're gonna have a whole business just for people to dry their hair. And they'll be as big as dry bar is like, that's that you just wouldn't believe it. So I just love hearing how people kind of build their business and how they very uniquely, you use their experiences and their skill sets, you know, to put out products that you just wouldn't have, have thought of and you just don't know, the backstories are fascinating. So I will

Amy: 48:08

Yeah, how I built this there is an episode with Ali Webb, it's from years ago where she talks about it, but we're actually interviewing her next week, which is like a total hashtag win for the podcast, because, you know, I've like admire her for years. And I think and this is what I'll tell ally next week, too, is that, I think, because I've always been like a hair person having curly hair and like struggling with it my whole life. And I think when that company came out, like the whole idea of entrepreneurship and creative ideas, like it just sparked something in me because before that I never thought about starting business gapping like nothing but that spoke to me. So well because I was like oh my god that is like I could I could have created that one day like it like is right in my wheelhouse in terms of like their marketing in their positioning wasn't or is and was amazing. And like the concept behind it is so simple. But it was such a gap in the market. And that's when it sort of came to me that like, wow, I could identify something that is doesn't have to be this like I think back in the day when you think of entrepreneurs you think of like starting kind of like financial business new

Katie: 49:15

product? I don't know.

Unknown: 49:16

Right? Yeah.

Amy: 49:20

Like not something related to an area that I love, like well being in beauty, so I just kind of like sparked and I love to your point. I love hearing entrepreneur stories. I think it's fascinating. Is the podcast still like is it still in the Apple Store? Yeah, we'll go into it. I definitely I definitely want to hear it. Yeah. Okay, so let's get into more on the personal side because you are just like so fierce. You're such a boss or CEO. You're so balanced. I feel like I mean, I've known you over the years just for the audience. Alana and I have known each other for I don't even know since our kids were little I think they were in kindergarten As it gathers down, yeah, and throughout the years, we've touched base and I just feel like Alana is one of those, like really solid, strong, brilliant, smart, but really balanced. So how do you keep balance at all? Like kids work life wife like everything? Yeah, I

Unknown: 50:17

mean, like, Thank you, Amy. And that means a lot, I think. I think just there's certain things, it's like, prioritize, I will say, it's just priorities like I do. I can mount I think I've I'm pretty good multitasker. So I will say that, like, I feel like that's just, you know, some, I feel like I can just juggle a lot of things at you at the same time. I have an amazing husband. But I really think that like I do, I do prioritize, I will say I prioritize my myself as when I can. So I'm a runner. So I tried to make sure that I'm become a huge peloton fan. And so I've always taken the time, like, whether I'm training for something like I have taken the time, you know, for myself, and kind of put those blocks of things out there for myself before. You know, everyone kind of else takes it from me. And so I think that, I don't know, I mean, I think that's just for women, it's like we use at work, we kind of use the analogy of like, when you get on the plane, and they say, you know, put on your own mask first and then take care of others. Like I think as women, like we just have to put on our own masks first and take care of ourselves. And so like, we all do it in different ways. And so, you know, I think sometimes, you know, balance is like all and also the eyes also the eye of the beholder? Because not you know, I think there's times when I look back when I was running around and going to events all around the beltway at night, like of course, I look back and like, oh, you know what, I wish I'd been at home then. And there's that like, guilt of like, you know, I was at home or don't miss any events or, you know, for the things for the kids. And so, I think there's, you know, all these be a little bit of that. There's the balance also comes I think with, you know, some some trade offs, but that's just the reality. I think for all of us. Yeah. So true. Yeah. But, you know, I think that like what and I think Amy reason you and I have always connected so well is like I do think like being you know, being you know, working full time. And you know, kids and taking care of yourself and having outside interests, like whether it's like a, you know, a startup business like you guys are doing or exercise or, you know, being interested in you know, doing I feel like more people are doing more taking art classes and things like that, like? Yeah, I just think it takes I just think it takes a lot. And I think that women need to talk about it more like I think gaming. That's why you and I always feel like I think women also need to find people they can talk about their business lives with and their home lives with, like these women. So you know, something that I think helps you kind of balance also when you have people in your life that you can kind of share.

Katie: 52:58

I love that point. Yeah, like we're not just totally mothers. We're not just business women were a little bit of everything, and to have all of that support in each realm, I think is really important.

Unknown: 53:10

Yeah. Yeah, I think I get funny. Like, I do think as you know, you I think like women do need each other a lot. You know, and I think I think this has been hard I think for that's been part of my balance is just always having a, you know, a network of people, whether like a mix of a network of people that you grab drinks with, or have coffee with, or walks with, and all different you know, like all who bring out different parts of you. Like, you're not one of those people who just has like, three friends and those three or four of us do everything together. I've got like people, you know, amazing people in all parts who know kind of different parts of me.

Amy: 53:50

Yeah, I'm the same way and I so I guess I felt like over the last few years with all the pandemic stuff, like connecting with women and friends, has been more important than ever, because you don't have the access that you normally have. And I felt like I've actually spoken to my friends more and made more of an effort like my high school girlfriends, we all have like this group chat. And we were always close. But for some reason, over the last two years, we started this group chat, which we never had before. And we talk every day, we've gotten the more trips together. It's just I think the older you get, like the more things you want to talk about with your girlfriends or have a girls night or girls trip. It's just so so moving. Moving along. Let's get into our quick wrap session. So Alana, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack? I know you talked about peloton, but what else would you say?

Unknown: 54:38

Oh God, um, wellness or I am very into candles that my last couple years have been like particularly the pandemic like I have one in my office now, which I never had before. So like wellness, like I used to think of lighting a candle is like oh, just when you're home for a long time. Now like I have when I bath like I tried to do that more often. And even when I'm just taking a shower like I've like something about like the aroma and piney good candles has been I don't know a new a new newer thing for me like versus like oh once a while light a candle in the house and on a warm

Katie: 55:14

like, yeah it's like a ritual. i One by my bedside and every night that I get into bed I light my candle and it's lit for like an hour while I'm winding down. It's I totally agree with that.

Amy: 55:24

It is nice. I love that. Okay, five minute flow. You just got out of the shower dried off. Uber alerted you there five minutes away, like what is your quick beauty routine? What do you put on to just get out the door and get on that Uber get into that Uber on time?

Unknown: 55:42

Oh, um, I feel like you know, throwing on jeans and a black sweater for me is a is a quick is a quick go to. I'm not wanting to spend I need to listen to more of your podcast probably because I'm not like wanting to spend too long on on my makeup. So I have the routine already ready for the five minutes. Your official with my

Amy: 56:02

and I'm not surprised by the flat iron and the flat iron is huge. That's key. That's key. Okay, and how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Unknown: 56:12

I would say running running and exercises is key. Are you a marathon runner? Um, I've run one marathon and then I'm training. I've done a number of half marathons and I just signed up one in late March. So I'm training for that. So like,

Amy: 56:28

that's awesome, guys.

Katie: 56:29

Are you running marathons? I wish I was a runner. Now I'm a water. No, I'm always really impressed. Right. I'm very impressed by runners.

Amy: 56:42

Well, Ilana, thank you so much for your insights on all things financial well being and fin Power Man, I've learned a lot. And I think our listeners will really gain a lot of learnings from this. And so just thank you so much for being on the show with us this week. And Katie is going to end with Yeah,

Katie: 57:00

thank you very much, Elena, you taught us so much. And I think this mantra kind of ties in to all of these little things that we learned today and how important that can be in the big picture. So this is our mantra, I will achieve great things through small steps. So there you go.

Amy: 57:16

Mm hmm. I love that. I love that.

Katie: 57:18

Thank you very much. Great. It was great to have you.

Amy: 57:22

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 41 - Real Period Talk With Jenna Longoria, The Period Guru (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 41 Real Period Talk With Jenna Longoria, The Period Guru.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family. Today we are super excited to introduce you to Jenna Longoria, aka the period guru. Jenna is a board certified functional nutrition practitioner specializing in women's hormones. She was listed by Huffington Post as one of the top 20 new health writers to follow in 2017. That's so cool. And her work has been featured in mind body green and BC the elephant journal. She's also an author. Her book is the period solution 28 Day hormone balancing guide. Through her virtual private practice, Jenna helps women reclaim their hormones and digestive health with a multidisciplinary approach combining functional medicine, nutrition and diagnostic lab testing and her results driven root cause program. She's a firm believer that the right diet and lifestyle can put any hormonal condition into remission. And I think that is super exciting. I just can't wait to hear all about it because it's gonna be so helpful for so many people. So welcome to the show. Jenna.

Jenna: 1:30

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on today, Katie. Thank you, Amy. Happy to talk about hormones, periods, and anything else that we're guided to discuss today. That's

Katie: 1:40

great. Well, we usually start our show with our nirvana of the week. So it's just a little moment that brought you joy. So I'm gonna I'm gonna kick it to Amy to let her get it started.

Amy: 1:51

Sure. Well, my Nirvana this week might be similar to Katie's because we had a baby birth in the family. So my cousin, Matt and his wife just had their first baby girl. And they we haven't met her yet, but they she was born, I guess, like last weekend. So it's just really cute to see them. You know, have a new little family. They had a little girl named Cora, Cece, for sure. And it was just really exciting. I'm excited to meet her. We'll probably meet her in the next few weeks. But they got married during COVID and just had the baby during COVID. So it's just interesting time. But yeah, it's just cute to see them with a newborn and all excited about parenthood. So that was my nirvana. And I'll pass it to you, Katie.

Katie: 2:39

Yeah, that's, I mean, definitely part of my nirvana. It's so great to have another little baby in the family. And, like maybe the last one for a long time until, like, grandkids, right? Until they have a second which hopefully they do, fingers crossed. But I also had a little moment of Nirvana this morning about an hour ago. I I'm just I'm feeling really great today, physically, mentally, just having a great day feeling like myself after being little under the weather for a while. And after I dropped my daughter off from preschool, I just jammed out to want my new favorite song in the car. I blasted as loud as I possibly could. I didn't care that people thought I was an absolute idiot in the, you know, waiting at the stoplight, and I just had a moment of euphoria, where I just felt the music and my body and my soul. And it just brought me so much joy and kind of you know, woke me up and started my day. So that was mine. What about you, Jenna?

Jenna: 3:30

Well, so for the week, right? Or is it today

Amy: 3:32

to be anything we any day? Yeah.

Jenna: 3:35

Well, I've you know, I've practiced in a yoga Sharla for the first time this Wednesday, so I practice Ashtanga Yoga in the mornings. And before locked down, it was like an everyday six day a week I would practice with my community every morning rain or shine six in the morning. And it was a little bit of soul crushing when all that closed during COVID. And so I just moved to Amsterdam. And this Wednesday, I finally found a new home Sharla. And I joined the program and I practiced and it was just the best feeling ever to unroll my mat and just practice with people and get all sweaty and leave and feel great. It says that the best way to start start the day for me personally. So that was I was really grateful for that to practice with people in the community.

Katie: 4:21

That's great and you're glowing. I can get that yoga glow. Well, I've never what is a Shahla? And you have to explain that to me, because I'm a yogi, but I don't know this one. Yeah, so

Jenna: 4:29

Sharla is like a home for yoga. So when like the yoga Scripture, the yoga by the Hatha Yoga predict kappa or yoga sutras by Patanjali they call it a Shahla. So it's like a home for yoga instead of a studio. It's like I guess the Sanskrit word yoga Shala.

Katie: 4:46

I love that. Okay. Very cool. All right. Well, let's get right into it because we have so much to talk about. We've got a few quickfire questions for you. First, let's just start out with the basics. How long have you been a functional nutritionist and And what were you doing before you became the fabulous period guru?

Jenna: 5:03

Yeah, oh my gosh, it was just such a crazy road that led me here. So I've been doing this for about eight years now. And I this is definitely not wasn't I didn't wake up when I was, you know, little and say, I'm gonna be the period guru and I grow up. But I actually originally was in grad school in Washington DC at American University, and I was an associate producer for a political radio show. And that was like my first life. And I had horrible period problems and hormone issues. And they eventually just got so bad. And, you know, they started when I was 14. So I really think our pain is our purpose, you know, I always had issues. But at 14, I was put on the birth control pill to mask the issues. And turns out, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis. And I was just kind of trying to stay on the birth control pill and just, you know, ignore my body. And then one day, I just had this Wake Up Calls, I need to take care of myself, and I want to, so I did before I quit grad school, before I quit my job in DC, I started to look into more into holistic, holistic modalities, got off the birth control pill. And then I realized that that's actually what I wanted to do, I wanted to share this with other females, because I knew that there was another way than just taking the birth control pill to solve every problem. And so I did that, and I went back to school, became a nutritionist and have devoted my life to helping other women balance or hormones.

Katie: 6:32

And you have been practicing as the period guru for how many years now,

Jenna: 6:36

you know, at first, I was just a nutritionist, and I just, you know, my, my business was healthier notions. And I just was kind of I saw, I just really, people were coming to me for the kind of common weight loss kind of thing. And I would always ask them about their periods. And one day, one of my clients lovingly and jokingly said, You're the period guru, you know, you always ask what are my period, and they should call you the period guru. And I was like, ah, that actually clicks, you know, so about, I guess that was about four years ago, now, I completely rebranded and changed my focus to just serving women. And more about hormone balance became the period guru, because I realized that, you know, first of all, weight loss is just a symptom of inflammation and as a symptom of an imbalance. So when I help my clients achieve hormone balance, fix their digestion issues, you know, optimize their gut, then weight loss is just a side effect. It's not something we're really focusing on.

Katie: 7:37

Yeah, that's, that's actually really interesting that you say that, because I've had a kind of a personal experience with that recently. But yes, okay. So so you, you touched on it a bit. So you have endometriosis and PCOS?

Jenna: 7:53

Correct? Yeah. How old are you? I'm one of the lucky winners, I get, I get

Katie: 7:57

the double right, of course, how long? When did you was that in your teens that you really

Jenna: 8:03

don't you know, I never got a diagnosis until I was in my 20s. Because when I was I started menstruating on 13. And then at 14, I was just having these horrendous periods. And a lot of, you know, those polycystic ovaries and the little over, you know, but they're not really sis. They're their little follicles and large follicles. But I was having that and the doctor put me on birth control pill, he's like this will fix it. He never gave me a diagnosis or anything like that. And so as a child, I was my hormones were cut off completely. And I had a lot of side effects from the birth control pill like I really reacted negatively to it, I gained weight, I became depressed, having crippling anxiety. Then at 15, I had to put me on Prozac because of that. And it turned out that I'm not a depressed person. Actually, as soon as I got off birth control pill a decade later, that kind of went away. And so you know, that's why when I got off the birth control pill, we were able to discover the real issue, because it silenced the symptom when I was on the birth control pill at 14 and got Yeah, okay, I didn't have painful periods anymore. I didn't have a period. So if you're on birth control, you don't have a period, you have a withdrawal bleed, so I wasn't having pain anymore. I wasn't having you know, those issues, but I was having tons of other side effects. So when I finally got off of it, we were able to realize, oh, wow, you have endometriosis. So they see knows that an average of 10 years they get a diagnosis and that's absolutely true, because I didn't get an official diagnosis until I was actually not until I was like 27. So more than 10 years. I knew I knew when I got off the birth control pill and then and started having painful periods. I'm like, I know I have to have endometriosis like and the only way you can get official diagnosis is through a laparoscopic procedures they have to cut you open and they have to look so you know, that's a lot of that that can cause scar tissue. That's a surgery you know, so not everybody wants to have that diagnostic tool done, but When I was on my honeymoon when I was, I think, yeah, so I yeah, my honeymoon, I had an ovarian cyst rupture and it was it ruptured around my it hemorrhage actually tore off a piece of my ovary. And I had to go to the hospital in Thailand and get an emergency surgery in there, they were like you're riddled with endometriosis. Wow. And I was like, That makes so much sense. I've already known this, but it confirms it. So yeah, you know, and that's what I took, really, I just knew that I had to figure this out. Because the only option I went back to the doctor, like we'll just get back on the pill. And it's kind of don't want to do that. There has to be another way right? Quick Fix It is in allopathic medicine. It's like if you haven't had kids, but you don't want to have kids yet and you have issues. They put you on the pill to fix it. If you can't get pregnant and you have issues, then they immediately send you to a fertility clinic or want to give you Clomid or Metformin or whatever. And then after you've had kids and you have issues, they just want to give you a hysterectomy. Like that's really the three top.

Katie: 11:03

That's why it's so true. Yeah, yeah. Western medicine, it's like that's let's just put a bandaid on instead of digging deeper and seeing what the root cause of it is, which hence, there you go. Root Cause program, I assume that's

Jenna: 11:16

because I was told that I would never cycle naturally and never ovulate naturally, I was told that I wouldn't be able to start a family without lots of drugs and interventions. I mean, I don't have kids yet, but I haven't tried. But I but I ovulate regularly every month, I have painful periods. For the most part, there's a few years that maybe might be a little bit painful. But I'll take that from my periods every single month of the year used to just put me in so much pain, pain medicine did nothing, I would get nauseous because there was so much pain, I thought I was gonna have to go to the emergency room. So yeah, like it's possible in all of this, which is diet, lifestyle changes, doing the right functional labs and supporting my body and giving it what it needs. So I can get back.

Amy: 11:59

That's what I was going to ask you. So you've been able to manage this all through what you were just saying diet, lifestyle labs, like, can you tell us a little bit more about that journey? Because Katie, and I will talk later, but Katie has an autoimmune and other things. And I have. So it's just interesting to hear, like how you kind of get there? And then we'll kind of take you through some of the experience that we've had.

Jenna: 12:23

Yeah. Well, you know, first of all, it's like Western medicine looks at everything in isolation. That's just how they're trained. And they're trained to diagnose, and it's just a different type of medicine. It's not bad, it's not good. It's just, it's good when it's used for when it when you need Western medicine, like if I was in a car crash, or when I had a surgery when my ovarian cyst ruptured, and I almost died because it tore off a chunk of my ovary. I am so glad I had a surgeon there that was trained, absolutely thrilled, like it saved my life. But for the most part, when we're talking about preventative care, or talking about nutrition and supporting our body before there's a disease before it becomes like the severe issue. Western medicine fails us, and especially women, we are, we are grossly underserved. In we are in the health industry. Like, If a man goes in and complains that his, you know, testes are hurting, or his you know, he can't have an a jet, you know, he can't get an erection, they're gonna, like run every single lab under the sun on him. They're gonna give him Viagra, which, you know, like, they're gonna just really take it seriously. But a woman comes in and she complains of painful periods like I did growing up and they're like, we'll just take the pill, or that's just part of being a woman, which actually, there was a research study showing they were measuring the pressure of women who are having a period cramps, versus the pressure on women when they were have contractions and labor. And I don't know the exact number, but it was something like, like 10 times more on these women's period, cramps who had endometriosis. So I have literally had clients who have told me that they would after they had kids, it confirmed that their worst period pain was worse than a contraction. There were like, my labor was nothing compared to my period pain. And so it's invalidated, you know, our pain is invalidated in the doctor's office. So there's that there's that like, you know, we're missing you know, we're not given the it's not given the attention it deserves going back to like what I did and how I supported my body is really just by kind of try stop going to the allopathic medicine. I'm always looking for something else. So insanity, the definition of insanity is trying to do the same thing, right, expecting a different outcome. So I was going to doctor to doctor and they're all telling you the same thing, and I was frustrated and I was like, Well, if I want Thai food, I'm not going to go to a pizza restaurant and get mad when they don't give me Thai food. You know, go to a Thai restaurant. So right If I was looking more into the functional world in which we look at systems and and in functional medicine, we're looking at all of your systems together, not in isolation, not like just the liver and the eyes and the ovaries and the hormones, we're looking at everything together and supporting that it's a mix of, you know, the right functional labs. So I find a lot of doctors, they don't test the right markers, they don't get adequate testing. insurance doesn't cover adequate testing. So there's no way going to your conventional doctor that you're going to really dive deep and really understand what's going on with it with your thyroid with your hormones, because the testing is really outdated. And then,

Amy: 15:39

and it's also just a moment in time. So like one day, you could have something but the next day you may not right, yeah, it's

Jenna: 15:47

true. And now I mean, there are some, there's that's a whole nother thing. A lot of doctors don't understand the the timing of hormone tests. So I'll have clients that come in, they're like, Oh, my doctor did all my panels and my progesterone is low. And I'm like that they tested your progesterone on day five, like, of course, you'd have an ovulated yet, like I don't understand, like there's there's a precise time to test certain hormones. And there's and there's a you know, so it's, and usually that that doesn't happen when you go to just a regular OB. And so with functional medicine, you test you use the right labs, you test it the right time, you test the right markers, and you look at everything in a hole, and then you're also supporting your body through nutrition. So a lot with hormones, I will say like especially polycystic ovarian syndrome, the number one thing you can do to make a difference is to change what you're eating, support your blood sugar levels, because insulin is a hormone and that's where it all starts. Insulin is a hormone. And if we have too much insulin for insulin resistance, then there are going to be big problems with the rest of our hormones. Because it influences cortisol and influences influences your sex hormones. And so what's up with women with polycystic ovarian syndrome, most of them are insulin resistant. So when we put them on a kind of, you know, a lower carb nutrition plan, and we support them with enough protein and fat, then their blood sugar balances and their symptoms go into remission. And so it really is about what you eat. And so supporting all of that, you know that and that's really what I did, you know, I just had to go I was like a detective and functional hellebore, detectives are looking at everything. And I will say I have not had one client who has come to me that has had a normal thyroid. Their doctors have said that they had their thyroid is fine. I have not had one client who sired was actually fine. The worst case scenario I had I had I had a client and she had been going to fertility, really like in Orange County. But one of the creme de la creme of fertility clinics, okay spent, I don't know how much money on how many rounds of IVF young she's only like 29. And she comes to me and she's like, none of it's working and toxic that you know, and so I'm like, we need a thyroid lab. And she's like, Well, my, you know, my doctor has run these labs. And I'm like, that's, you know, doesn't tell us anything. But then I did happen to look at one of it and it was her TSH, and it was like, the highest TSH level I know, I won't get too complicated and test markers that I've ever seen. And I was like your doctor has never asked for further thyroid testing after this. This TS I didn't want to alarm her. But I was like after this TSH, TSH reading, she was like never. And I was like, how many rounds? Have you heard of IVF? She's like three. She had never had a proper she had Hashimotos, you know, and I was like, we did more testing found out she had Hashimotos I'm like, No, I cannot that is a crime. They took her money, her husband's money, let them do all these rounds of IVs. But never gave her a simple thyroid test to find out that she had Hashimotos. And that's why she wasn't getting pregnant. So as soon as we fix that, literally the next month she got pregnant. Yeah, wow,

Katie: 18:42

that's amazing. I have Hashimotos as well. And it's the thyroid, I know how impactful it can be. And also so many of these doctors, they say that you're you're doing well, because your labs aren't maybe necessarily like in range, but not ideal and optimal. And I think that's also a big thing. Do you have you noticed that in your practice? Yeah,

Jenna: 19:01

I mean, I have definitely so I use functional ranges, not conventional ranges. Conventional ranges are the aggregate of like the standard American. So really what we want is functional, like right there in the sweet spot in the middle. And yeah, so most conventional doctors will use the conventional ranges, and then they won't, they won't test all the thyroid markers that we need. As I said, they usually just has TSH, which is a brain hormone. It doesn't tell us what's going on with the thyroid. Sometimes they'll test total for T four, but that's something that I never test was my clients. So in Hashimotos, you know, it's very common, it's on the rise. I have Hashimotos too. And you know, there's and there's also usually when you have one autoimmune condition you have more than one that it's like kind of this you know, and you know, polycystic ovarian syndrome, there's a lot of research out there pointing out that it could actually be an immune disease which is an autoimmune disease, which I I'm kind of think that is is right.

Amy: 19:55

Question for you on that. So like something like Hashimotos I know a lot other people that have that and they take, like medicine for it Synthroid or whatever, like, since you have Hashimotos, are you taking anything? Are you doing more of like your functional strategy and not needing to take those type of medicines?

Jenna: 20:13

Yeah. So here's the thing. I do think that it's over prescribed, I think medicine, I think thyroid medicine is over prescribed, and it's used as like a, you know, it's, it's just like, okay, takes off and fix all and now we're getting to the root cause why is your thyroid under functioning. So about 80% of the cases of hypothyroid is actually Hashimotos. The estimate and, and so that's a lot of, you know, so chances are, if you're listening to this and you have thyroid issues, you have a 80% chance that you have Hashimotos. I've seen people with Hashimotos, reverse or symptoms and not have to take thyroid medicine, I see it in my practice with my clients. But alternatively, I see it to where we reverse your symptoms, but they still have to take some thyroid medicine for I don't know how long because it is an autoimmune condition and their body's literally attacking their thyroid. And if their thyroid medicine actually works and that's winning, because there are some people who actually motos it, the thyroid medicine doesn't even work. And so I do take a little bit of thyroid medicine. You know, it's the only pharmaceutical I take but it's a glandular is bioidentical. And I'm just grateful that my body responds to it, and I, I, my blood levels i It doesn't even look like I have Hashimotos I have no antibodies, and

Amy: 21:22

I'm sure all the other things you're doing is contributing to that. So it's really like the best of both worlds in a way.

Jenna: 21:27

Yeah, it is. But every it is an eon like I'm grateful for it. And I would like one day, I'd like to get off of it. And I that's the end goal and working towards it. But I also accept the reality that that might not happen. And I'm just happy that it's here for me.

Katie: 21:41

And stable and stable. Yeah, yeah. My thyroid has been unstable at times. And now it's stable. And yeah, it's something to be very grateful for. Yeah, it's

Amy: 21:52

funny, Katie, because she knows how to read all the labs much better than me. And I had a physical one year was a couple years ago. And my thyroid was like a little bit increased. It wasn't bad, but it was like, increased from where it was. And I said to Katie, I'm like, Oh, the doctor said, it's fine. She's like, Yeah, might be, but you should ask for XYZ tests. And remember what what tested was Katie. And so I went back, and I asked for that test. And they ran it. And it looks really good. So I was thankful for that. But I wouldn't have even known as like a normal average person that goes the doctor to even even ask because the doctor says fine, but Katie, since she just is so deep, and knows this world much better than me. She was like reading my labs. And she's like, No, you should push on that. And I was so thankful that she knew that. But most people don't even know that. And so I think it's like, being an advocate for yourself. And if something doesn't feel right, don't always listen to the doctor, like keep going further.

Jenna: 22:42

Listen to your body.

Katie: 22:43

Do you teach your your clients that about self advocating? Oh, absolutely.

Jenna: 22:47

That's the part of the program. You know, when I work with my clients, like I always tell them, I'm not the gatekeeper to health. I'm just showing you the roadmap there. And so working with me, my program is a lot of that education based to to have the tools so that you can be your own best health advocate moving forward, learn how to interpret your labs, read your labs, and and also speak up for yourself. Like, I love it when my clients are like, if I you know, say, okay, I'd like you to do this, but why? Why am I doing this? And I read something about this. I don't get offended. And like, why are you just listening to me? I told you, this is what you should do. And you should just, you know, that's what a doctor sometimes does. You know, I'm always like, I'm so glad you researched that. And you have questions, and you're advocating for yourself, you should always advocate for yourself like that in any with any healthcare practitioner. And so yeah, I mean, that's, that's part of it. And I think that's one of the things that is wrong with the healthcare system is we go to the doctor and we treat them like gods like everything they say, is gold, the golden rule and goes is like the truth. You know, a lot of times we know, all the time we know our bodies better than they do.

Katie: 23:49

Yeah, of course. It's interesting. My mom, she worked in as a surgical nurse worked with doctors her whole life. And she'll always say to me, they're also just humans like that, you know, they you have to remember that what they say is it you have to take it with a grain of salt. Yeah, not always. Yeah. So I want to get into a little bit some of the symptoms that the listeners should look out for. Be, you know, if someone's listening, and it's all sounding very familiar to them, what would be some things to watch out for that would lead them to, you know, figuring out if they have endometriosis or PCOS or just

Amy: 24:25

hormonal hormonal issues in general, right?

Jenna: 24:28

Yeah. Well, I think the first step is, you know, being aware of your menstrual cycle and tracking your period, you're in your menstrual cycle. You know, your menstrual cycle is a whole event. So it's anywhere from 25 to 35 days, that's a healthy menstrual cycle. You should be bleeding anywhere from three to seven days. That's a healthy period. You shouldn't lose more than 80 milliliters of blood. You shouldn't lose less than 25 milliliters of blood. You shouldn't have an app your charting, ideally even better, you're tracking ovulation even if you're not trying to get pregnant, tracking ovulate. To see if you are ovulating. And then you know a lot of times we're tracking your ovulation, you're tracking your basal body temperature that gives insight into your metabolism. So if you start having really low temps that could signify an adrenal or thyroid issue. So it's a free diagnostic tool that you have every month. And it's free. And, you know, by doing that, you know, if something's off, something goes off one month, that's not a big deal. It's normal to have one or two, you know, weird periods a year. But if you're having it like three months in a row, then that's an issue and you should get some heart your hormones tested, investigate work with a practitioner. And so that would be the My First I'd say the first step is to look at your period because expect, you know, like women with polycystic ovarian syndrome, they might have two periods a year, three periods a year. So that's a really big sign. If you're having irregular periods. And women have endometriosis. You can have period pain all day, every day of the menstrual cycle. It doesn't just have to be on your period. So noting down when you're having this pain and symptoms and sensations.

Katie: 26:00

Are there other hormonal conditions that you focus on? What about like, like perimenopause and things like that. Do you work with women in that realm also?

Jenna: 26:11

Yeah, I mean, I always say perimenopause is a natural state and more than a condition like that's just a natural phase of life. Menopause is a natural phase of life. But there are some women who have really bad transitions. Their perimenopause symptoms are awful. But it doesn't have to be that way. And so I do work with women going through perimenopause. But ideally, the those are the women who never address the period and hormone issues at a younger age. And that's why they're having really bad, perimenopause. Oh, that's interesting. So the earlier you address these period issues, hormone issues, the more smoother your transition through perimenopause and menopause is going to be I say, because it is the root cause of these issues is not going away, you can mask it with birth control, you can mask it with whatever you know, but it's gonna be there. Later, at some point, you're gonna have to deal with it. Whether it be when you're trying to get pregnant or whether it be during menopause, you know, perimenopause or menopause.

Amy: 27:04

Our listeners know this, and I've talked about it a little bit, but I have a stapler migraines, which started to appear for me about five years ago, or so. Which is when I really started tracking my periods. But I am still convinced and have told all of my doctors, that it's definitely related to hormones, because I noticed that, I mean, I haven't had symptoms in a long time, you know, knock on wood, unfortunately. But when I have had those symptoms, they're more dramatic, right before I'm about to get my period, like, I get that dizzy, sort of, like vertigo feeling and all of that. Typically, before I get my period, and it doesn't, it doesn't go away after it's still, but it's much less, but it's much more intensive. So I kept asking, like, can you test and they tested my hormones,

Jenna: 27:46

everything's fine, but then they tested your hormones, so like,

Amy: 27:50

everything was fine. So then I went to functional like more integrated doctor, and he tested my hormones within a specific timeframe, I can't remember if whatever was passed my period or before May have like 14 or 17 days, whatever it was, and then actually checked out at the time. Pretty good. So that was good. But I still know that it's related to some sort of hormonal,

Jenna: 28:15

yeah, the he or she wouldn't have been able to figure it out the blood test, I see that I see that hormone issue with headaches related to the hormone cycle all the time. But a blood test isn't going to show the show the way.

Amy: 28:26

So how to test is very sad on a blood test.

Jenna: 28:29

I use a dried urine test with my clients at a specific time of the cycle. And it shows how the hormones are breaking down. metabolizing or not the different pathways shows the different types of estrogen because there's more than just one. And blood tests just shows like really static.

Katie: 28:46

Is that the Dutch test? Yeah, yes. Okay. I've heard of that.

Jenna: 28:50

That will show especially with people that have a lot of migraines around menstruation and ovulation, that Dutch test will is really needed to show the estrogen detox pathways to because there's a lot of correlation between estrogen issues histamine and liver function. But it's a very common, you know, it's a very common pattern I see. Yeah, and headaches, and they're awful. I mean, it's just awful. I'm sorry. Like, it's just like,

Amy: 29:18

Yeah, well, I'm on medication for the vestibular migraines, but I would like to get off of it. Yeah. So it's, like, you know, from a lifestyle standpoint, I think I'm doing all the right things but who knows, I should probably talk to you offline offline and figuring that out. But I would like to get to a point where weaned off of it because I don't obviously want to be on something forever, but it does help with the vertigo symptoms, which are like literally if you have them you can't function so ya know, it's it is helpful, but I would like to get to a point where I'm like, really understanding because I do track my period like I've always had. I mean, my periods have always been regular, but I would say they're between like 35 and 40 days, my whole life so I started tracking everything another Oh, interesting, slash random related thing I think was when I started getting this vestibular migraines five years ago, I also around that time was spotting, which I'd never spotted before. So I feel like it was all related. I'm not anymore. And yeah, all kind of going away. I mean, a lot of it, I think too was like stress and different things, who knows, but it's just really interesting. So that's when, like, my eyes opened up about this whole field, which I don't know much about. But I ever since then I've been tracking my period, I have an app that like tracks, the grades and all of those things, but it clearly I need to learn more. And I'm sure our listeners do too, because you sort of like, it is great that we do have a free diagnostic tool, our period we know if we're getting it every month, we know how we're feeling. And that's like your North Star, you know, like, Okay, I'm like a little bit moody, because I know I'm getting out of here, but it's like your way to track everything. But other than that, it's like, it's hard to go deep if you're if you're not really seeking out the right kind of help,

Jenna: 30:53

kid it's so great that you even knew and it was great that you even had the awareness that you're like, Oh, I these these headaches become worse right before my period. I mean, that's huge that you've got that awareness.

Amy: 31:04

And the funny thing was back to your point about the birth controls when this was first happening I did get a lot of different tests done and spoke to a million different doctors if but my OB was like Yeah, go on birth control it'll it'll it'll help and I didn't give me the prescription but I never did because I was like I don't want to go on birth control so I just you know, trying to figure out you know, other ways but you're right it's that's like the catch all Oh, just go on this and I will be fine.

Katie: 31:28

Yeah, it's true that my quick fix was surgery. They I had such horrible periods after pregnancy that they suggested hysterectomy and I was finished with having kids and I also had other issues from having babies like so this is actually the first time I've mentioned this on the show. So that's that was the route that I went with and I was perfectly okay with it. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. But knowing I was finished having children and just being able to remove some symptoms, I have so many symptoms from my two autoimmune diseases to be able to have my hormonal cycle just a little bit more balanced out. It it was really a great move for myself personally, but that's it's very drastic and evasive and someone that isn't ready for that and that's their suggestion and their only fix is really scary and very sad. And you know there are repercussions. I have horrible scar tissue pain that I get that can be debilitating in my abdomen. But for me personally it was the right thing. I asked

Jenna: 32:29

them castor oil packs where you're wearing those like three or four nights a week. This what is it castor oil packs, they QUEEN OF THRONES makes them these like ready made castor oil packs and it's castor oil and you put it on this like sheepskin, like Pat like a wrap you know and you put it on and you wear it at night over your you can wear over your liver or your ovaries and your uterus and it breaks up scar tissue soil gets through castor oil goes through all the layers of your skin and it actually breaks up the scar tissue and increases blood flow to your to that area.

Katie: 33:04

That's amazing. Thank you that is the

Jenna: 33:08

scar tissue pain, I would definitely get some castor oil packs. And

Amy: 33:11

you know you mentioned earlier and I totally forgot you were talking about your ovarian cysts. And I have one when I was younger too, which I always knew about because they you know, caught it during a regular visit. And I remember them saying when you get pregnant, you'll see that it'll probably get better bigger and it'll fill with liquids. So when I first got pregnant with my first child, they monitored it the whole time and it got like it was like tiny and I got huge like to the size of like a grapefruit. So I actually had it drained during my pregnancy. And it was literally like two saline bags of fluid of what was filled right back up. And it and it ruptured, like late into my pregnancy. And speaking of the pain to your point, it was awful. And I was pregnant. It felt literally like I got stabbed in the side, but it ruptured and I was so worried about it rupturing my whole pregnancy because like they said that could have been a possibility ruptured, it was brutal, but then it went away. And for my second I didn't have any pain like I always had this dual pain in my right side with my first child or with my second and have any of it because it ruptured. So it's just so interesting how these things just come and go. I mean, again, I was aware of it, but if I wasn't I wouldn't have known what was going on.

Jenna: 34:23

And it's actually really common for women of childbearing age to have a cyst once every few years or something like that. Yeah, it's like a what we call functional cyst. It's very common and then they can rupture with your period. You know, a lot of doctors will say just get on the birth control pill to shrink it but you know, a lot of times they just go away with your period when you start treating and my case it I was one of 1% of women where the the cysts not only ruptured but it went into torsion around my ovary and took off a chunk of my ovary that only happens to one Yeah, that was like that I've had I've had other cysts burst before rupture. Having gone torsion was like having 1000 cyst rupture at the

Amy: 35:04

same time. I don't even know. And that's so scary. You weren't even in this country.

Jenna: 35:08

No, it was like so scary. My husband like rushed me to the hospital like an hour away to like the private hospital in Chiang Mai. And it was, you know, and there was there's, there's really good health care outside the US a lot of people think that there's not but actually just better and cheaper. Yeah. And so yeah, I was fine. But yeah, I mean, so it is so you know, there's so much but I'm, you know, the pain of the of the ovarian cyst. And then doctors, they'll say, get on birth control pill and all this stuff. And it's like, I don't under like the birth control pill to them. It's just like, let's be nice. And let's be easy. You know, I'm just wondering if they should just have a recording doctors, here's a prescription for the birth control pill, like no matter how serious, they really need the person they're moving, we could just have like an avatar, birth control, birth control,

Amy: 35:53

right? Right, just hitting the button to your point like adapters, whether it's an OB or your regular doctor, whatever, no one is asking about your period, or they do it to check the box, but they're not really going into the root knows of all of these things. They only

Jenna: 36:06

care if you're trying to have a baby, right? Yeah, baby. Then they give they care so much. They want to give Oh, okay, fertility panel, all this stuff. It's like, so I, you know, so I, you know, I remember before I could run my own labs, when I was first kind of starting out, now I can get all my blood work and all my labs and stuff. I wanted to get a full hormone panel, and I went to the doctor, and they're like, why do you want this? And I was like, because I'm gonna check my hormones. Well, no, we can't give you that I go. And then I just put on my thinking cap, and I go, I'm trying to get pregnant. And they're like, Oh, sure. So Oh, yeah. I'm like, you shouldn't have to be trying to get pregnant to find out what's going on with your hormones. It's not like we own our health only matters when we're ready to host a child. Like, it's just, it's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Amy: 36:56

What are your thoughts on these home? Like, I know, there's a bunch of companies like Everly well, that that do different sort of home tests for hormones. Is that because I think like being able to take it into your own responsibility is so empowering, like to be able to just have blood every month and not have to ask your doctor and have to rationalize it like are those? Would you recommend those home sorts of tests? Or what do you think about

Jenna: 37:22

that? Yeah. Okay. So first of all, this is kind of a long winded answer. But this is the best, like a three pronged answer. But yeah, first of all, I feel like the for like thyroid, I think that's great. I like let's get checked for that they have a thyroid test. You know, that's something that every six months, we should be checking our thyroid, because it can change overnight. So every six months, check your thyroid, if you have Hashimotos, maybe every four months. It's so easy. It's like, you know, you can order it online, you take it at home, you don't have to faff about with your doctor and be like, I need the full thyroid panel. But no, all you need is TSH, no, I would like to full thyroid panel. Now now TSH, and you don't have to like hassle and our you know, just like beg and plead with your doctor. And so for blood type thyroid as best as blood. So that's why I think that's great. Now maybe like a full thyroid panel, you know, through letsgetchecked or something like that, or everlywell once a year is great, you know, but what we really want to be testing besides the thyroid, what we really want to be testing more than the hormones is our gut. So I think everybody really wants to test the hormones. But hormones is really it's important to do every once in a while. But the gut is really something that that most people never test their gut. And you can't have healthy hormones without a healthy gut. That's why with my clients, I always test the gut. First we do a comprehensive gi you know, stool test, the GI map, because we have to fix the gut infections before you'll ever have a healthy thyroid or hormones and, and so that's what I would say would be the most important and then it is and then once you get everything in checked, those tests are very empowering to just monitor your own health. And check in with those and do those. That's so how do you do that?

Amy: 39:03

How do you how do you test your gut? I don't think I've ever done that.

Jenna: 39:06

Yeah, so it's um, it's a stool test that you take at home. Okay, they gave you all the instructions and stuff. It's not the most glamorous but it's

Amy: 39:16

what's the what's the site or product that does that?

Jenna: 39:20

Well, they don't you have to have a you have to have a license to order it. You have to go through a practitioner. Okay, so it's not like I really well in all of

Amy: 39:26

us, we can do a blast. So you have to go to a doctor and you ask for what we are Yeah, it doesn't

Jenna: 39:31

have to be a doctor. It can be someone like me a nutritionist or dietician a functional dietitian or you as far as I know I don't think allopathic doctors run this type of you know, usually if they do anything with the gut they do like they look for structural issues, you know for polyps and things like that and they don't or maybe they run sometimes for like certain parasites but they don't do a comprehensive gi essay which is like this looking your immune system function your bacteria levels, whether you if you have a gluten sensitive tivity is looking at for parasites and h pylori and virus viruses. And it's just

Amy: 40:06

so you would go to a functional doctor or nutritionist and ask for a comprehensive gi function. I'm like writing it down because I,

Jenna: 40:13

you know, honestly, a good a good, a good way to determine if if the practitioner is, is good, basically, is it? That's what they're offering? Yeah, that's where they want to start. I had

Amy: 40:27

no one's either, like, ever tested that on me,

Katie: 40:29

right? Well, most. So I went to a GI gastroenterologist, and it was, you know, like, during the height of the pandemic, the summer and I had horrible SIBO. And of course, it took me a long time to figure out what SIBO was, and I was doing all this research trying to figure out if I could get some answers and found out that that's what it was. It wasn't through a doctor that I got that diagnosis, but she, the only tests they did for me was a colonoscopy. And then she said we can we can attempt to this right, Faxon. And we did that. And then it revealed a candida overgrowth that she refused to even acknowledge as real. So they they will do nothing. But to your point what you were saying they it's just like it's for polyps, it's, you know, yeah, it's

Jenna: 41:12

not like pathology, think about it, they're looking for cancer, they're looking for structural issues. And that's great. And it's great to have those routine colonoscopies after you get a certain age. But when we have these people having heartburn and then all the doctor wants to give them is protein pump inhibitors, which suppress your stomach acid, which is the worst thing you could possibly be doing for someone, then they get addicted to it. And they've been taking it their whole life and they have osteoporosis and all these issues later down the line. Why don't we test their gut and just figure it out? You know, it's just like, it's, it's it's so easy. You know, I've had I've I remember this 135 year old, a friend of a friend and he was like, had all these colonoscopies and all these issues because he had such bad heartburn and IBS. And the doctors kept on saying there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong, you know, nothing. And I'm like, why don't it just stool tests like, there is something wrong if you're complaining of this, and they were like, well just take Prozac or take these, you know, what are the you know, what are those protein pump inhibitors? Like the standard drugs that Zyrtec No, not Zyrtec allergy. What's the one that demand tax? Zantac? Yes. And I mean, just like that is just such lazy medicine. It's like, let's just silence a symptom and not figure out what is going on. And so the gut is really the best place to start. And when you have a Candida, Candida is like the third tier that's like that's a side effect of bacteria and balances, possible parasitic infections. And it's not where you you start treating somebody's with the Candida, because if you just treat the Candida that superficial, it's going to grow right back, if you don't get rid of the other imbalances in the gut.

Katie: 42:40

That's interesting, because that's me, that's my life. I have I have repeated candida overgrowth, and yeah, fluconazole it literally once a week, which to manage it, it's like it's and also with diet diet does help

Jenna: 42:52

you exactly. But you can be doing all the right things and be frustrated, and do all the right things and do a Candida diet or all these things, but it's not going to, you're going to hit a plateau, you're never going to go right or if you don't investigate the other issues.

Katie: 43:05

So that that is a great segue into what you do. Because I would love to hear a bit about your root cause program and your coaching that you do so the listener can, can reach out to you.

Jenna: 43:16

Oh, yeah, well, I you know, I love it. I love working with women in this capacity. And it's a form of program. So, you know, I found over a lot of trial and error. And after working with hundreds of clients that you can't amazon prime your health, unfortunately, everyone wants, you know, like, a quick fix, and I still get messages Oh, do you can you just do a one session, I just don't do that. Because it's unrealistic on both practitioner and patient to think that you can get these results when you've been having these health issues for years. Some of these women decades coming to me, we can't fix this in one session. And I want people leaving my program happy. And so that takes about three to four months. And we do the GI map, which is the gut test that we talked about, we do the Dutch hormone test, which is the hormone test I discussed. And we have five sessions over the course of these four months. And we we tackle every system in the body, you know, the liver neurotransmitters, you know, our estrogen metabolism, we look at our blood sugar, you know, diet, all of these things and support the detox pathways and look at everything in unison and at the same time. They're being empowered themselves because they're learning this new language. They're learning this body literacy. They're learning how to be advocates for their health and understanding what's going on. Maybe learning some propensities that their body has towards certain illnesses or certain you know things so that they can be proactive and take care of themselves and then also just know their bodies better, you know, so to continue out of advocating for themselves so they can be their own health advocates because no one can give you back your health if someone's advertising like Hey, I mean, that's not possible. no doctor, no nutritionist no one can give you your health. Do you have to do that yourself? We're just kind of it's just a roadmap, and we're helping you get there. And we're supporting you. And we're able to

Amy: 45:06

test and proactive versus like reactive based on something terrible that could Yeah, right. Yeah. So I have a question. So you do that over the four months, and you evaluate and then based on like, all of the data and all the conversations, you then what do you prescribe someone like a program? Like What? What? Yeah, what happens after that?

Jenna: 45:26

So well, in the four months working together, it's it's, you know, we I first start off with like, an initial health session, and we make some foundational, you know, recommendations with diet and exercise, and with maybe some targeted supplements or herbs, which I use therapeutically in my practice, because that's another thing I see a lot of naturopaths. And I see a lot of nutritionists out there, just throwing supplements that people like, that's also some take a probiotic. Yeah. And like that, and that symptom care relief to just take all the supplements just as much as a doctor is prescribing all these pharmaceuticals. So it's like, kind of same, same but different. And so, you know, so therapeutically, you know, maybe I'll be like, for 60 days, you need to take this supplement for this, for what we found on this test, like XYZ, we're going to take this supplement for 60 days, here's why. And then we go over the gut testing in a second session, and we I design a protocol for them. And they and I help support them over the GI protocol, we have a follow up session to see how things are going. The fourth session, that's when we go into the hormones, because that's fine tuning as much as everyone wants to do the hormones first interest, everyone's always so excited about the hormones, it's really the last place to start. That's we're really fine tuning things there. And and then we have a follow up after that. And then generally, you know, I really pride myself in not having repeat customers, because we're able to get to the root cause. So they'd love to check in with me, I have my clients check in like once or twice a year just to see and go over their their lap, you know, to retest and just see how things are going or give them some support. But really, you know, my goal is to have them have their own wings to fly and just kind of be able to advocate for themselves moving forward.

Amy: 47:03

Yeah, this is so eye opening, I need to do this program with you. Because I've never really looked into my guide, because I really haven't. I don't know, I just never thought about it. Like to your point. It was always like, Oh, the hormones, the headaches and the this and that. But it could be my God, who knows. I mean, I definitely don't have a regular

Jenna: 47:22

if you're having headaches too. I was, that was my first.

Amy: 47:25

And I'm not I've never been like regular as you would say in that department. So

Jenna: 47:30

and you know, to be honest, it's not just you, it's every human being on the planet. So it's a gut test at some point, because we're bombarded with pharmaceuticals and our water and our drinking water. We've taken antibiotics growing up, you know, birth control, pollution, pesticides, toxins, or cosmetics. I mean, like our liver needs a tune up. I mean, yeah, and liberty to tuna, you don't need to tune up.

Amy: 47:52

I think that's really important for our listeners, too, because I think you hear everywhere, that health, gut health, but I actually don't really know what that means. Like, I didn't really know that this test you're talking about exists where they can actually where you can really look deeper into what that means. Because you hear things like gut health and take this versus like doing these tests to figure out what you actually need. So I think that's something that everyone should be looking into, including myself. I have a question for you. Just on a side note, when we're talking about hormones, period, gut health. So I wasn't on birth control. I never took the birth control that the OB wanted me to, I ended up and this is not this wasn't for my hormones, but really just for birth control, getting an IUD, which is something I wanted since my second kid and I just like never did it. And I did it. Maybe like a year ago. Do you think that that's like, what are your thoughts on that? I know, like the hormones are less than whatever. But it's a little I was saying this to Katie, it's a little hard to track your period because I can kind of tell like I'm in like, what's week I'm in just based on how I feel. But you don't really have that definitive because there's nothing you don't really get your period. You just get like a wipe of something and you're like, Oh, I guess that's my period, but it's a little bit harder to track. So kind of what are your thoughts there and like, how does that relate to getting this gut test and all of that?

Jenna: 49:13

Yeah, so the IUD. Do you have a copper IUD Do you have it? You have the hormone like the Skyler that Kaylee

Amy: 49:21

I forgot what it Mirena it's not Mirena, but it's like a newer version of that

Jenna: 49:24

the key is it the Kaylee Kaylee asked whether

Amy: 49:27

or not I actually have it anyway. Just quick

Jenna: 49:29

what do you do what did your headache start around then are both there were they already happening before though they

Amy: 49:33

were happening way before I just got this recently my headaches I've had probably for five years and then this like that just recently more so from like a birth control letter. That's what a

Jenna: 49:45

letter okay? They're always these like, you know, sweet girls names to make a noun so like, I know why. So first of all, having less hormones is still the same thing as having some hormones. It's like drinking half a cup of poison versus a full cup and Not saying birth control is hormones. Is that that hormones? Well, synthetic hormones are kind of, they're an endocrine disruptor. That's what they are. They're a hormone disruptor. And so it basically it's not like, they'll be like, this is a low hormone to make it sound better. It's the same thing.

Amy: 50:14

So you see in birth controls essentially the same well,

Jenna: 50:17

it, isn't it. The low dose pills and the low dose IUD. Yeah, same, the same way. Okay. And then and then the IUD is the other method doctors always used to say and still say today, which I don't understand how someone who went through eight years of education and then fellowship can still say this. That's because it's in the uterus. It's localized. It's localized hormones, it doesn't spread anywhere else in your life. That's

Amy: 50:42

what they told me. Exactly, I'd

Jenna: 50:43

say. So that's the biggest BS. And I've been saying this for a decade, and then actually a decade, like seven years. And finally we got validation. There was an article and some science journal that came out in December of 2021. That was say, Oh, we found out that the hormones are actually systemic, they spread systemically. And here's this MRI, this woman's breasts did prove it and yada yada yada. But women symptoms are being dismissed for so long. They were saying like, I'm having all these issues. I know, but the hormones are local and IUD. So they're not local. They spread. Yeah, it really is. Because like, let's it goes into your bloodstream, so they should know better because they're freaking doctors. They know how the body works. And so so it is, it is low, it is systemic in the body. Now I will like it's one thing I like about the IUD. I mean, I out of all of the birth control methods, one of the reasons one of the pros of the IUD is that you still ovulate or may ovulate. You know, a lot of women don't because of the inflammation from the IUD. But ovulation is really what we want to be doing ovulation is how we make progesterone. Progesterone is what we need for heart health, bone health, thyroid health, healthy, healthy mood. And when we don't ovulate, we don't make that. And so that's really important that we make that so with the IUD, you have a chance of ovulating. Even though you're not having a period you're not seeing blood, what you can do is you can track your cycle by taking your basal body temperature. And then when you and that's one of the fertility signs that we use in the fertility awareness method, which is my form of birth control that's hormone free. And I know after my temperature spiked and it's remained elevated for three days that I've ovulated I also observed my cervical fluid. So it didn't matter if I had a period or not, because once you ovulate, you will start your period within 14 days or you're pregnant, it's coming or you're writing it so right then you kind of know okay, I ovulate it my temperature spikes, I ovulated. And then you also kind of feel it, you know, sometimes people have, you know, but But you may not also be ovulating on the on the IUD, I have a lot of clients who haven't ovulated on the IUD. Now with a gut, the IUDs have been shown to create imbalances in the gut, especially with Candida overgrowth. So that also can happen not always, but that can happen so but it's kind of with the birth control pill and hormonal birth control is pick your poison. Like what, that's why I'm like, which one is so that I you know, I gave a while back and I still have it on my website, I have a free birth control masterclass. And you can go on my website wants you to have like 45 minutes, and it breaks down every single type of birth control hormone, and hormone free, conservation, unbiased, non judgmental, and it's really just kind of pick these what's right for you might not be right for me and might not be right for you know, your friends. So it's like it's, we all have different needs and different. We're in different places in our lives. And so that's why I'm all about informed consent. So instead of just being told, this is what you need, yeah, being these are your options. And here's the pros and cons. And now you are, you are a grown ass adult, why don't you go home, think about it, make a decision and choose for yourself and with now that you have all the information present. And that's not that's not happening in medicine that's not happening with most female patients today.

Katie: 54:00

I love I love everything that you're doing what you're offering and how you're healing women and what you're just bringing to the forefront. These women's issues are so hush hush in so many cultures. I mean, even just the fact that like this is the first time I mentioned that I had a hysterectomy and I was embarrassed about it. Like there's no reason for that, you know, so the awareness that you're spreading and teaching these women to self advocate and everything you're doing is it's just it's really phenomenal and we're so grateful to have you and I know our listeners are going to learn a lot and potentially you're going to really help some of them just from an episode so

Amy: 54:35

yeah, and Europe by the way, I love your Instagram and I love all the videos you do they're so helpful for our listeners if you check out her Instagram page, it's it's at a period your period guru and you've got all these great videos just like little bits of information that are super helpful about diet and lifestyle and hormones. So anyway, I love it. So good job. Yeah, yeah, she like that. It's really helpful. Share it, share it on our pages. Yeah,

Katie: 54:59

yeah. How can our listeners find you? Is that your website? Just yeah, so

Jenna: 55:03

on Instagram at the period guru, and my website is Jenna longoria.com So those are great places I have so many free resources I really do I have tons of free resources on my website I've got a pain free period book I've got a ebook I've got a period solutions masterclass a birth control recording so pick your pick your jam and

Amy: 55:25

quiz in terms of your program. If our listeners want to sign up with for your program, and you do it virtual I know you're based in Amsterdam, but do you work with anyone?

Jenna: 55:34

Yeah, I work online. And I actually only do enrollment twice a year. So I'm currently my enrollment starts Hint Hint, actually, next week. Oh, I don't know when this podcast is going out. But I enroll in the spring, early spring and I enroll in the and in the Fall Enrollment Period is usually two or three weeks or whenever the spots fill up. I work with 11 women because it is a four month program. So I can only see a certain amount of women each enrollment period. So there are options out there.

Katie: 55:58

That's great. All right. So let's hit our rap session really quickly because I have a feeling you have some some good ones for us. So just a few questions. How what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Jenna: 56:10

For me? The lemon water first thing in the morning, I couldn't imagine starting my day without 16 ounces a warm lemon water and I put a little bit of sea salt in there. That just I mean, hydrates, you makes your skin look great. It's great for the liver and detoxing, you know, toxins away from the body endotoxins hormones and yeah, I think that would be probably be my wellness hack would be the lemon water.

Katie: 56:34

That's a good one. And I've heard that that's good for your gut to kind of

Jenna: 56:37

absolutely to get moving. Yeah, it helps with motility. So in the morning gets things moving and it helps stimulate the liver. It helps make your bile not because our bile but that our gallbladder releases to break down fats sometimes can get kind of sludgy, and then it can't do its job and lemon water can make it kind of thinner and consistency. So it's kind of and it's just and they're hydrating. The sea salt, the sea salt is has, you know, minerals in it like sodium and potassium, which a lot of us are deficient in. So I always recommend people add a quarter teaspoon of sea salt to every liter of water to remineralize re mineral mineral wise. So I do that first thing in the morning with like a little bit of sea salt and lemon, half a lemon squeezed and 16 ounces of warm water first thing in the morning,

Katie: 57:24

hey, yeah, I need to try that. Alright, so this is what we call your five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dried off Uber. They do have Uber and Amsterdam. Yes, yes. Uber just alerted you. And they're five minutes away. What are you going to do? What's your holy grail is your go to your routine to get out the door and get into the Uber in five minutes.

Jenna: 57:44

Oh, wow. Okay, so usually, I Well, I'll go to the bathroom one last time before I get to the Uber. Oh, yeah. And I guess I don't know, like, make sure I have everything in my purse. I guess that would be the thing. Make sure have like my chapstick and my phone and all of that jazz. And yeah, and then I'm always running late. So forgetting something and then coming back inside to go get that off my shoes. And I'm getting that thing and then putting my shoes back on. And that would be it. Yeah.

Katie: 58:14

That's great. That's all right. And last one, how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Jenna: 58:20

Oh, man, meditation. Absolutely. I love to meditate first thing in the morning and I have a this infrared near infrared red lights and I sit in front of that lamp while I meditate, and that really just helps me just start the day and just ground and at some present, you know, just kind of calming nervous system. I love that. What

Amy: 58:41

brand red light Do you have? I'm looking into getting one. Yeah, I like

Jenna: 58:44

the bio light. It's not advertised that much. And so then you don't pay all their like the price for the advertisements and stuff and other companies. So really? Yeah, like the bio light. That's a good one.

Amy: 58:55

Okay, nice to know, good to know, Ray noted. So thank you so much for being on our show. Jenna, this was amazing. I learned so much. Thank you for answering all of my detailed questions. But I think I'm not alone in saying that, you know, we all need to be more educated. And I think this will be so helpful for our listeners. So thank you so much for coming on the show. We definitely will probably want to have you back for a second round of questions. I'm sure our listeners will have a lot of questions for you. So thank you so much for spending time with us today. And I will kick it to Katie, we always like to end with a mantra to set the tone.

Katie: 59:27

Yes. Thanks, Amy. And thank you, Jenna, this was such an illuminating session. So it's very exciting. All right, our mantra for this week. Everything I am going through is planting something valuable. And me. I think that is a really powerful one. And it's so hard to remember when you are going through things but yeah, just repeat that when needed some Yes. Good one. Yeah. All right. So thank you

Amy: 59:53

so much. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode. Check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 40 - Vogue Mexico Editor-In-Chief Karla Martinez De Salas on Inclusivity, Diversity, Fashion, Beauty, & Well-being (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 40 - Vogue Mexico Editor-In-Chief Karla Martinez De Salas on Inclusivity, Diversity, Fashion, Beauty, & Well-being.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Welcome to this week's episode of Nirvana sisters. This was a fun one, I get to catch up with Carla Martinez to Salas who is the head of editorial content at Vogue, Mexico and Latin America. And I realized as I was editing this at the beginning of the show, I didn't mention that she was with Vogue, which I thought was an important note. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Welcome back to the show Nirvana's sister's family. It's Amy and Katie, and we're here with Carla Martinez. Desai. Last. Did I say that right, Carla? Yes. And Carla is the head of editorial content for Mexico and Latin America. So excited to speak with you, Carla. So Carla, and I know each other from back in the day, we went to college together you have a Go Wildcats, and we probably haven't seen each other in, I don't know, 2025 years. We were just saying before we started recording that. Last time we saw each other was probably when we were both living in New York and in the in the street, like hustling around. But it's so good that she's here to talk to us about her fabulous, incredible, amazing journey in the fashion industry. So a little bit about Carla. As I said, she went to UVA with me, we were actually in the same sorority and she was my little sister. So I sort of call that out. So I feel that I did a very good job raising, you know. So Carla started her career as an assistant at Vogue us. And then in 2002, became an associate fashion editor from 2005 to 2010. She was fashion director for teen magazine of New York Times. Then she later took the fashion direction of Interview magazine, then went to be the fashion and accessories director of W magazine in 2011 2011. And then in 2015, Carla moved to Mexico City with her family, where she started working as a freelance in, I'm gonna say this wrong, but you can you can correct me Carla Cooperativa shop, an online store that specializes in readymade pieces by Latin designers, which is so cool. And then she became the editor in chief for Vogue, Mexico and Latin America in June 2016. And since then, has continued with the exclusive editorial line of the title. So she has been in charge of Vogue, Mexico and Latin America. She has been interviewed many times by major publications and been on TV very notable appearances across the board, it was recently included in the fee of AF us list. So that's business of fashion us list of the 500 international fashion leaders. And since then you've been in charge of the magazines management. So Vogue, Mexico and Latin America was also awarded the Best editorial content for Mexico's fashion digital awards. Congratulations on that. And you also a part of Project paws, a nonprofit organization with headquarters in New York, which has a goal of creating extracurricular activities for low income children, and see your daughter Wall Race in order to promote peace. So that's just a quick little snippet of her incredible accomplishments. But there's so much more and thank you for coming on the show. Carla, we've been chatting for months trying to get her on. So we're so glad that you're able to join us and super inspired by you and all that you've been doing. So welcome.

Karla: 3:44

Thank you, Amy and Katie for having me. I know it's so I can't believe you did do a very good job. As my big sister as I wouldn't say that that kind of whole sorority rush process was the like, prepares you for job interviews in a way. And kind of got you ready for the real world in that like, you know, you just graduated from high school. You at least at Arizona it was such a huge school and so difficult to navigate that you kind of wanted to have like a little community where you could go to and yeah, and

Amy: 4:23

a home base. And yeah, and I just remember you Carla, you're always so chic. Even back then always put together always looks good. I remember you being super into fashion then. So I love that you've followed your your passion and love for fashion and all things Lux.

Karla: 4:42

I know I was looking at a picture of a college trip that I took to Paris. And I remember having like a camel coat and I feel like I would wear that in Tucson and people would be like what are you wearing?

Amy: 4:55

I feel like I remember that code now that you're saying it I'm not even kidding you

Karla: 5:00

And when we all and then a lot of I mean, you guys were at least a lot more from like, you know, from the East Coast like I grew up in El Paso, which is certainly like, I think it was like a step below Tucson in terms of FAFSA. So I don't know, I think it's funny because I always tell people that like, I kind of got like, my education from magazines in general. And like, you know, my mom liked kind of more tabloid magazines and like, what Princess Caroline was wearing of Monaco or something, but, but she wasn't into like, the big like, she always liked reading that Hello are like Allah. Which, but, you know, I feel like really, really, like helped me grow up in that way. You know? Certainly I'll pass it was not somewhere where you where I learned about high fashion by any means.

Amy: 5:55

While you certainly have had the education since then. So Carl, I want to start out with something we called our weekly nirvana or Nirvana the week where we just talk about something that brought us joy this week, something that just sparked a little joy and put a little smile on our face. Because we always want to make sure we're looking at all the other good things that are happening so I can start, or actually I'll flip it to you, Katie, why don't you start? All right. Well, thank

Katie: 6:18

you, Amy. And Carla. It's so great to be here. We're really thrilled that you're here. I mean, this is a big deal. Vogue, like I feel very honored to have you for exciting role, boss. It's huge. So let's see my weekly Nirvana it happened on Saturday, I had a lymphatic drainage massage and Reiki done at the same time, and it was really kind of amazing. It was a whole experience. The whole thing lasted for hours. Like which was unexpected. Yeah, it was it was kind of wild. Like there was there was the the pre session of like talking with the energy healer. And then she did some spiritual healing. I don't know the terms for it. But these I turned clockwise a few times, like these really wild things, but it was very relaxing and calming. And then we did the lymphatic drainage and the Reiki massage and it was cool. I mean, I definitely felt I understand now the feeling of Reiki. I don't know if I know Amy, you haven't had Carla, if you have ever had Reiki done No, I

Karla: 7:23

haven't. And yeah, and I love people here have been talking a lot about something called cap that I

Katie: 7:29

know we haven't heard of us or that

Karla: 7:31

kind of like a like a koonta loony Kundalini kind of yoga process. But where the teacher kind of guides you with like energy and like touch. Oh, that's exciting. I'm just gonna do I haven't done it yet.

Amy: 7:45

Yeah, send it over we yeah, we interviewed Athena Baris. Her episode, launched a couple weeks ago and she's a Reiki Master and just read a book. So we were learning all about it through her but neither of us has done it. So Katie ought to fill us in more about that. That's super

Katie: 7:58

cool. Yeah, it was great. It was it was an experience for sure. So what about you, Amy? What was your nirvana?

Amy: 8:04

Well, this is kind of silly. But it did bring me joy. So I'm traveling later this week for business. And I haven't traveled in so long. Obviously, we've all been locked down. So it's nice to finally go on a trip. But I'm going on a longer trip than usual. And I always get super stressed before I travel. I just feel like there's so many details to take care of. I'm sure Carly, you can relate. But anyway, I packed early, which I never do. I packed Sunday morning, and I'm leaving Wednesday. Oh, wow. I'm always last minute. Katie knows I'm like throwing things together. I'm stressed and crazy. And I was like, I need to like think through because I have a lot of events and different things and locks. And I'm like, I need to think through this. I need to try and close I need to like be strategic in my packing, which I never am. And so I did it Sunday morning, and like I just have a couple more things to do. But I was like, so happy afterwards and so relieved. And I'm like, Okay, so now the night before I leave, I'm not like a crazy person running around the house. So that was my Nirvana the week. What about you, Carla?

Karla: 8:58

i Well, did we have the day off today? So I went to I always I feel like I do yoga once or twice a week. But usually I have to run out early because I'm stressed and there's like a million things going on. You know, like you have to be ready by nine to get to work. And today I did like the whole hour and a half class. And you know, there's like so many things in yoga that you're working through. And it's funny, I was doing the pinch up pose, you know, the kind of four arm stand and I hadn't fallen and I know how to fall you know, you fall like kind of in a backbend. And I felt totally fine and like when I left the class like I was, so I was so happy that like I was able to fall and not be scared if that man Yeah. And it was just nice. Like that kind of whole energy in the class was like, there were like five women. It was taught by like one of my favorite teachers. So I feel like that you know when you find that kind of like Nirvana in your like exercise or kind of in yoga, I find that always to be really nice.

Katie: 10:08

Yeah, 100% I completely agree with you on that I enjoy really going to like small private studios as well. And I haven't been able to find one here. I just moved to Connecticut recently, I haven't found one yet that like really speaks to me, like the one I had where I used to live. And it's, it's true, like the setting and the people and it all kind of, yeah, it's important. And also,

Karla: 10:29

like, I feel like just during COVID Like, I was doing it online at my house and in certain ways, like I was doing things better, but then you kind of miss that energy of like, other people and like, obviously, when it's like friendly, and there's no stress, right? I feel like and when you can't find that. It's frustrating.

Amy: 10:50

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Someone they're guiding you. So you knew you're doing everything right. Well, that's great. That's so nice. Okay, so we're gonna get into some like quickfire questions. And then we'll get into some some topics we want to chat on with you. So tell us a little bit. I mean, I gave your intro, but tell us a little bit about what you're doing now Vogue and like, and also kind of your personal mentors, like how you've gotten to where you've gotten so successfully, and kind of like, who's inspired you? And who uses like, your kind of personal board of directors, I like to say, um,

Karla: 11:22

well, I feel like God, I feel like, like that community at Arizona was such a great place. And like, I remember everyone kind of doing internships in the summer and like, really pushing to like, what are you going to do after you graduate? So I guess I lived in New York for 15 to 16 years. And, you know, when the opportunity came to move to Mexico, it was my husband grew up in Mexico City. It's, it's funny, his mom is actually from Connecticut, but she's as a young girl to Mexico City. And, and he, you know, was like, listen, like, I want this to be like a totally mutual decision. And, and obviously, I was super scared, I had like, never actually lived in Mexico, which is funny, because, you know, I've been coming to Mexico my whole life with my family, and my parents were from Mexico and moved to the US when, you know, before my siblings and I were born. And once we came, you know, we came for his job. And then in the end, I got this opportunity, which I don't know, if I would have would have gotten to New York, or certainly it would have taken longer, I think. But I think, you know, I always had, I don't know if you guys feel the same way. But I always had that. And I don't know, if it's just New York also is like, you're surrounded by like, amazing women that, that kind of have it all right, like they have families and yes, obviously, no one does it perfectly. And I don't think that there is an idea of the perfect mom, right? And, and all of them were just like, so inspiring to me, and all these places that I worked in, when I was an assistant in vogue us and, you know, obviously, I didn't have a lot of contact with Anna Wintour, then but now I do. And, you know, I feel like that it's it's so like, exciting. It was really exciting to have grown up there sort of say, you know, for that to my first job, because I really feel like it was a master's. And all the women that work there like Virginia Smith, who's still there, you know, she had, she had a child. And they were also like, hard working. And then I worked at the New York Times, which is amazing. And like a really, kind of it was that idea of like, what we like what is everywhere now, which is lifestyle, which when I feel like when you when we graduated was like fashion, right? And now lifestyle is like home and travel. And, you know, I worked for a woman named Jan Christiansen who also was an amazing role model because she was kind and you know, she had a child and, you know, we just like you saw all those like struggles and like, I kind of you know, saw these women that like some of them had a hard time getting pregnant, but like they kind of, you know, made it happen. And they were really great at their jobs. And they were also like, great entertainers and friends. So I feel like those women that I that I had, like that I worked for were were people that like I really looked up to and admired and really helped me kind of pave my way and find my voice. And then then I went to go work at W and that was the last job that I took before I moved to Mexico. And you know, I feel like along the way I have like really amazing peers like Ricky de Soleil, who's now the fashion director at Nordstrom. And we were all kind of just trying to find our voice. I feel like one of my best friends from growing up who went to UT Austin. Her name is Audrey Ponzio was kind of like, you know, you're one of the few Latinas in fashion. And I didn't even realize it at the time. I you know, I always, I never wanted to, you know, be I never wanted to say like, I'm Latina deserve this job. I just, it just kind of happened. And I always had like, really positive experiences, but I did. One of the things I did notice, like, you know, working at these different places was, yeah, I was most of the time, one of the few Latinas in the room. And that, you know, it's when we talk about like diversity and inclusion in like media, you have to talk about it, like, in the workplace, right. And like, what that means, and, and I feel like all of those experiences really prepared me to kind of moving then to Mexico where, you know, the Mexico I mean, people here like to say that, that there's no racism here. There's like classism, which is kind of the same thing in a way. And, you know, the son of like, your housekeeper would never get a job at a, you know, Conde Nast. Whereas in the US like those opportunities, like you can be, you can be any, anyone can be anything they want. And so that was something that always like, stuck with like, I always had it very present. And so I knew that I wanted to make the magazine more representative of what people are really like, here. So that's, that was, I feel like my whole journey in New York, just like being in fashion, and then kind of learning that fashion is not just clothes, that it's so much really helped me to kind of bring everything that I knew, to Vogue, Mexico and Latin America, if that makes sense. That was no, that's

Katie: 16:49

it. I was wondering, do you know now if, you know, in the States, W and Vogue and everything us, is it? Has it become more inclusive? Is there is there more diversity is did you kind of break the glass ceiling there?

Karla: 17:03

I think so. I mean, I remember, you know, when I started working in New York, like literally, I was like, God, how did you know I remember, what am I, my first boss at Vogue was like, oh, you know, here's your resume that like Anna signed off on and it said, like, Aw, okay, no. And I was like, Oh, my God, how did I slip in, you know, like, everyone here is like, tall, blonde, you know, an heiress, a child of a model, right? model, you know, and it's not something that ever, like, bothered me, like, I always knew that. I was super hard working, and I loved fashion. And I really wanted to be a part of this world. It's not something that ever, I'm sure it created, like, insecurities that I didn't know at the time, but I never had like any, like, I My experience was only positive. But I think it's also because I was also like, a really hard worker, and I was up for anything. And, you know, and that's what it took, like, I feel like that in that school in particular, like, if you were really willing to put the time in, then it wasn't the place for you to work because, yes, maybe your dad called someone to kind of help you get an interview, and you got the job. But like, if you weren't willing to like work a 12 hour day, like you wouldn't make

Amy: 18:26

right you're out. How did you get that first role as an assistant? Because were you interning or something like that? Because the breakthrough role, I would think to your point, it's like, you send a resume and and like, everybody else does, too. Like, how does that happen? Yeah,

Karla: 18:39

so it's funny because I actually, I remember, like, my sophomore year, in college, a friend of mine was like, Oh, I'm gonna go intern at Nicole Miller. My mom got me this internship. And I was like, oh my god, what am I going to do? My dad's a doctor and Oh, patho like, I'm gonna go back and like file, you know, folders all summer. And I started calling like, different fashion houses from W that I saw like W magazine. And someone by like, the good grace of God, like, picked up the phone and was like, Where are you from? And I was like, I Well, I'm from El Paso, but I go to school in Tucson, because I'm from Tucson. Wow, God, can you fly up here? And I was like, of course, like, when do you need to see me and I remember calling my mom and be like, I'm going to New York. And you know, wasn't like, I mean, you know, it wasn't like, going like, or maybe it is now. I mean, I don't know. But like, I was 19 And here I was like going to fly across the country to go to an interview. And my mom like called a friend of hers her daughter and was like Can my daughter stay on your couch? I mean, literally, it was like, that's amazing. Go like Mexican mom like asking like a friend of a friend if like I could crash on her sofa. And I remember I stayed at my friend's at my mom's friend's daughter's house. And I got the Interview and like from there, I like was in touch with a woman from human resources. And she remembered me. And then when I moved to New York after moved to Paris for a year, I called her and I got the job. So I feel like I always try. And I mean, I feel like we've all had these similar experiences. I always try and like pick up like answer like that DM on Instagram, right, or like, message on LinkedIn, because now we're in our like, that was our kind of way and we didn't have those tools. And so now I feel like I always try and like pick up the phone and like, give someone not pick up the phone but return a message. That's great. You're paying it forward.

Amy: 20:44

Yeah. And I it's funny, I have a similar point of view when it comes to like when people contact me and things like that. There's a there's a podcast that I listen to Ed my lat I don't know if you know who he is. He's like a entrepreneur leader. And he has this philosophy and I'm probably butchering it, but it's something like, you're always like, one step away from so like, the point is, is like one step away from like, reading an email that could change your life or meeting someone or that person picking up the phone. It's like, you never know. And you're always like, one step away from something good or bad. So

Karla: 21:17

I feel like when we were graduating, it was harder though, because Oh, my god, yeah, be one step away. I mean, you know, I feel like now, I get

Amy: 21:26

so accessible now. Well, now everything's accessible. There's Instagram. There's LinkedIn, like all these things. Like when I moved to New York, I moved to New York and my friend Jessica, remember Jessica from college, and she was working at this ad agency, and then get me a job. And that happened to be on a movie account, which I was interested in, and like, you know, marketing, blah, blah, blah, went from there, but it was all just kind of like who you knew, or like who you called, it was just you had to be probably a lot more resourceful. I'm sure. Yeah, you have to kind of stand out more because everyone's doing the same thing. But yeah, you definitely have to be scrappy, and resourceful. I mean, Katie moved to New York, and when how old? Were you occasionally? New York? COVID-19. 19?

Katie: 22:03

Yeah, it was, it was kind of the same thing. Like, I just got kind of got lucky that, you know, it was for modeling. And this an agency happened to call my agency and said, Sure, we'll move on. And then they ended up being like a horrible agency. But hey, they got me to New York.

Karla: 22:18

Yeah, sometimes, like the way would you like, arrive isn't necessarily the way that you know, but again, it's also much easier to find a job when you have a job, right? So I would always tell people that like, if you really want to move to York, then maybe try something out and you can leave, it's just, you know, getting that foot in, it's easier, like once you're there, right?

Amy: 22:40

Exactly, exactly. And you work really hard. Okay, so what have you seen? Like how have you seen the industry change over the years you've been a lot of places and like I'm sure the industry has changed in a positive way but like what have you seen as some of the biggest changes over the years I feel like

Karla: 22:56

I really believe like, I you know, as I was saying, like before, like when I first started working, I was definitely like one of the few like Mexican girls in the room and that has changed a lot. I feel like you know, just in terms of like designer, even designers, if you think about it, there was like Karolina Herrera Oscar, Nurse Cisco, right. And now you have like, Maria Coronae. Whoa, Willy Chavarria, who is like a Mexican American now creative director of Calvin Klein, you have like Joanna Ortiz, and from Columbia and like Sylvia Taurasi, and like just so many different people that like now make up you know, the fashion industry and like they're letting they even like last September when I went to Fashion Week, and it was after an app and a year and a half break of like, COVID and not being able to go to shows. There were so many young, cool, like African American designers, like I saw a girl from college that was working with this young designer from Jamaica called Theo Theo philia baillio I'm pretty sure it's from Jamaica. But just like, the front row is was different. I feel like for a long time, like the front row looked exactly the same. And now there's, like, young, like, different kids that like, look that don't, you know, everyone looks different. And that's really cool. I mean, I was thinking, like, you know, when I worked at Vogue and like Andre Leon Talley that died a few weeks ago, you know, he was really like, I mean, I don't think we even realized at the time what a big deal like this, you know, very like bold kind of loud African American man like how much he paved the way for other people, you know, people of color in general I mean, it the fashion industry, I feel like for a really long time was this very, like exclusive club, and now,

Amy: 24:46

like have skinny tall people.

Karla: 24:48

Yeah, like, people and now that's really changing and just like the front row also, but also like, I remember like, three, two or three years ago like probl girl only, like had three, two or three plus size models walking down the road. And I was like, oh my god, like this is this is so beautiful that he's like, so, you know, got out of this like space of only skinny models. And now I feel like if you don't have like a plus size or like a normal size model, not just like a super thin model on your runway, I feel like it feels uncomfortable. You know, like,

Katie: 25:26

you did see more of that body positivity as well,

Karla: 25:29

definitely, I feel like that has totally, like, I feel like designers are so much more aware of it and conscious. And, you know, five years ago, you know, someone like Lizzo probably wouldn't have been on the cover of all the magazines. And like, that's, that's really changing. And I feel like, you know, for us, like we put this American Mexican indigenous woman on the cover that was the star of Roma in 2019. And one of my best friends, like, if I can't even be I mean, I can talk for an hour about the engagement we got from putting this woman on the cover. And it was like people from around the world from different indigenous groups were like, this is such a big deal. And I remember the one thing that like really stuck out, like stood out with a friend of mine saying, like, thank you so much for putting someone that looks like me on the cover. And I was like, that's really impactful. Because yeah, for a long time, there weren't people that looked diverse, like it was one type of beauty and, and I think the industry and like after also Black Lives Matter last year, and you know, I think that hard conversations had had to be had and like, that made a lot of change in the industry. Of course, there's like a ton of work to do still. But um, but I do feel like the it's changed a lot for the good. Yeah, that's,

Katie: 26:57

that's good to hear. You mentioned Lizzo being on the cover. When do you think the shift from like, I mean, there was a point where the fashion magazines, the covers, were only models, right for a long time for as I was growing up, and then it's the celebrity culture. It's now it's very much focused on celebrities, do you, wouldn't you when did that shift happen?

Karla: 27:17

I feel like, you know, but I was reading something, an interview of when I think it was like 99. Like I think we were just like, like very early in our very early in our professional careers. I remember like when Vogue. Stop putting so many celebrities and like when I started working there in 2001. Like it was definitely majority celebrities with the exception of like Giselle, or Christy Turlington. And I think we're still seeing that, but we're also seeing, like, you know, people like female entrepreneurs, or like, in the case of American Vogue last year, that put in May, I believe, Amanda Gorman. So I feel like there is like, you don't have to just be making movies. It's more about like musicians and artists and poets and you know, different women. That I feel like inspiring women, right? I feel like it doesn't have to be like that, that model of like, only celebrity when the movie comes out is right feels like old you know, of course you want to time your cover to something to a project that someone's working on. But I feel like it's not like it's not just that it's like many more types of women including models, right? Do you feel like

Amy: 28:38

Right? Yeah, I mean, I think it's so cool to see who's always on the cover and like why and it has changed so drastically just from like what I've seen over the years not being like a major fashion person but like just seeing the change and like to Katie's point Lizzo and all of these people I mean, it's great it's just I love how inclusive it is and how I mean I think too that's that's a change just generally speaking with the luxury industry like every all these luxury brands are trying to be more accessible less so about this like club you can't get into it's more of like this inclusive nature because people are now turned off by that that's like right school, it doesn't feel genuine and real doesn't like you don't specially with social media. It's like you're a part of a community now like, it can be aspirational, but let people learn at this point. I

Karla: 29:30

feel like before it used to be like, This is what you we think you should wear it you know, and now it's like what are we all wearing? Like how does you know how do we feel like what is the kind of idea behind why we're wearing this kind of denim or something? You know, I feel like it's not that like it's not the kind of inaccessible kind of magazine at the top. It's it's more about like As you said, like building a community and, and kind of very much friendlier.

Amy: 30:04

Yeah, which is great to see. So let's move over a little bit and talk about, like wellness and beauty. Because I'm sure you're exposed to all of that with with your work. So like, what does that look like, in Latin America in your region? Like what's important to people there versus here? And what are you seeing are the trends and well being and all of that.

Karla: 30:26

It's interesting because I feel like we kind of it like the we're so close to booth I look after Mexico and Latin America, which, which is very different, even though we all speak Spanish. Yeah, and, you know, Mexico is very, like, a little bit like, everyone here knows what's going on in the US. So we kind of follow those, like, if SoulCycle is really big, and like it, just like in a month or two, it'll become really big here. And it's certainly like, that idea of, of wellness and, you know, eating healthy, like walking, you know, moving your body, right community exercise, like, that, I feel is like a huge shift as well, I feel like people are really, you know, excited about, also, like, where do your beauty products come from? Like, how, you know, how can you have less impact, right, like, environmental impact, and those are things that are all really developing here, but it's interesting to see, you know, I call it kind of the gateway drug, like perfumes here are super big. So that's like your piece of luxury, right. And then like, obviously, like skincare and makeup, whereas in the US, it's more of like, the bag is like that intro point. But here, and obviously, like, the salaries are less so like perfume is, is a huge deal. And that was something that I learned, like, even in like coverage in the magazine, like, we didn't cover perfume as much as in the US as we do here. But here, it's like, kind of how that designer makes, like, gets the foot in the door. But it's really interesting, because people are, what I've seen is also people really love those niche designers, like people know about, like, you know, Virgil at off white, and that kind of has a huge cult following that you think is like very, like, you know, exclusive to, like New York are the big cities, but it's not like, like people love, like the off white and like the sneaker craze, like it's interesting to see like, it kind of happens a little later, but it definitely happens.

Amy: 32:36

And what about Latin America? How's that different? Well,

Karla: 32:39

Latin America is a bit more like Argentina, for example, like, the thing I've seen a lot is like, they have very established fashion brands, because of the you know, it's far from the US. The tariffs to, like, get into the country aren't so easy. So it's kind of like Brazil in that way that, you know, imported stuff is really expensive. So they really developed their fashion brands, which is good, you know, and then I, what I've seen the most with, like Peru and Chile, and like Colombia, is that people are really socially conscious. Like, they want it to be like organic cotton. They're really like the sustainability conversation. Like to start brands is much like you hear it and much more, which is like a nice surprise.

Amy: 33:25

Yeah. And does that carry over into the skincare space and beauty space in terms of Yes, being organic, and there's

Karla: 33:33

so many more brands now that are trying to do like the Glossier or you know, of Latin America. And like, that's been really exciting to watch is like these young kind of entrepreneur, like, these young brands, like coming into their own. How much?

Katie: 33:51

I might, I'm not sure if I'm phrasing it the right way. But the spirituality of Mexico and also Latin America, does that play into the wellness space as well, like, because I know, I have some friends that are from Chile, and when they go to Chile, they see their shaman and things like that. That's prominent.

Karla: 34:13

It's funny that you asked that because I feel like here like the kind of alternative medicine is always like, you know, I like even like an example. Like my daughter was having these, you know, those night terrors. Yeah. And my mom was like, we have to take her to like, we went to my small town where my mom was from and she goes, we have to take her to the healer. You know, what do you mean mom as she took her to the healer, and she like rubbed her with an egg, and like my mom's like, in two weeks, she's not gonna have nightmares. You know, it's a big part. It's a big part of our and even like, I always like to say that like, alternative medicine like those kinds of essential oils have been happening here for like ever, you know what I mean? Right? It make them like essential oils, but Um, even like in terms of like, when I was growing up and like coming to Mexico, like, I feel like all the milk was just organic because it just was, you know, like, my mom's town, they they literally took like milk from the cow forever, right? And then, you know, obviously, like NAFTA happened and those things happened and, and people hear like love what's American so that for better or worse right, you know those things have been but yes I people are here are like, very like spiritual in that sense and they like to you know, they always want like a, like a second opinion but that second opinion from like the Cheban or the healer?

Katie: 35:40

That's amazing. Yeah, that's, that's really beautiful. It's a really gorgeous part of the culture that is lacking, I think, in America. You know, I wish I wish there was some more deep rooted culture in that respect.

Amy: 35:53

Yeah, I totally agree. Because I think they're definitely people like us who love all that stuff. But it's not in the culture. Whereas like, if you're talking about Reiki, or whatever we were just talking about before people are like, Yeah, you know, they sort of look at you like,

Katie: 36:09

there things are, but things slowly become more pop culture also late, which is interesting how that can play out. All right, well, what are some? Actually no, this is this is an interesting question that I'm very curious about, because I feel like your industry comes with a lot of pressure, especially with your job. And your job is incredibly high power and aspirational and inspirational. So what are some of these pressures? You must feel pressure with creating content and, and reporting being the barometer of culture and fashion and beauty and lifestyle? I mean, that that's a lot. But what is it like taking that challenge on?

Karla: 36:46

I feel like, yeah, I feel like that, what, what I was reading, like, one of the questions, and it's like, we were just talking about how media has changed, I feel like, just constantly kind of inspiring people. And like, at the same time growing our audiences, and you know, that like, the challenge of like growing a website, which is now obviously super important, and, you know, we've grown like more than 80% in the past five years, but just that pressure of growing the website, but at the same time, remaining true to Vogue, and its core values, without falling into the trap of like, I have to cover this because this is what's going to bring me my numbers. So I feel like that is something that we're always kind of, not, it's always challenging, you know, how to, you know, talk about, you know, so and so seeing with her boyfriend on the street of LA, then maybe you change the focus, and you're like, So and so knows how to wear the best, the perfect jeans for, you know, her type of bodies. And those are things that like, we've like managed to do. And now we have like shared content with Bogle with different folks across the world. And so we can take like, a lot of the more investigative pieces, because we also have like a very small team. And then we kind of focus on the, the articles that will be big, like do well in Latin America. So with this kind of 5050 balance, we've found, like a good mix. And like, last month, we were like the second largest job after the US. So wow, that's exciting. Also, like, you know, how are we going to do next month and the day after, you know, so it's constantly like, looking at what we're doing and saying we're doing this right, but we also don't want to just talk about sneakers and jeans. So like trying to find that balance.

Katie: 38:42

I'm curious how much I'm sure you've found this question before. Is it as intense as it is portrayed in the movie that don't even need to say the name as it is at that? Tough or not? Really?

Karla: 38:56

I mean, yeah, I think, you know, there's, there's a pressure because also, like, I think in the movie, and I don't remember if they explain it, but in the end, it's, you know, the fashion is an industry and so people's jobs depend on it. And, you know, it's not just, like, it's not just a dress, right? It's a dress that a designer made that's going to hit stores around the US and and or around the world and what that means, right? Like what, like that sales part? And so I think it's exciting. It was, it was definitely you know, an I feel like the industry is very hard working because people make it out to seem like oh, you're running around and like a beautiful town car and like, you know, wearing you know, five inch heels and like running around New York City. It was not certainly not that glamorous. I would say I would say that. You know there was a lot of times that we were like doing a car in a for a trip that one of the editors were going on and we were wearing like sneakers and jeans like riding up every single, you know, all 500 of the pieces that were like in the car in a or, you know,

Katie: 40:07

but also just because it's glamorous doesn't mean it's not hard work. I mean,

Karla: 40:11

hard work can be really hard work. And, you know, I feel like the thing about working at Vogue was it's amazing and like now, you know, we're a much smaller team, but like, you know, it, I liked that it was never it was never just a dress, you know, it was like something that the editor had like a specific vision for when the shoot came back and you saw I don't know like I remember that Alice in Wonderland shoot that any Leibovitz shot with like Natalia Vodianova, it's like her and her blue dress that was made and that, you know, Grace Coddington, like, really specifically asked for that when the new big this picture is like, you know, 15 years old, and I still remember it. And that yeah, they are. Yeah, I think it's really like, in that way, like creating like iconic pictures and like, telling these stories through fashion that didn't just make it close, right? I think it was, it was so much more than that. Yeah.

Amy: 41:10

So you're so busy and running around and doing a million things. So like, what practices are you doing to stay balanced, and to stay present with your family? Since you are so busy? And you seemed really balanced?

Karla: 41:25

For I don't know, I mean, I feel like now, like, ever since, you know, this past year and a half that we learned how to work differently. And like, I feel like, you know, there's no reason why you can't work from home, like on a Friday night. Whereas two years ago, I was terrified to even ask that. Or, like, you don't have to go to a work trip, where you get flown for a party, like you can say no, right? I feel like that those ways, but I just try and like, not kind of put my daughter's like in, you know, the kind of, I don't try and like Instagram at them so much. They have like their own account. And like, I try not to bring them into mind personally, I mean, just because Mexico is like, not, you know, you never know, who's watching you. And just like really, like, what's helped me, which I'm sure you guys can relate to is just that quality versus quantity. Right? Like if, you know, if you're in it, like try and find like activities that you enjoy doing together. And that even though you know, you might have to travel for five days, when you come back, then you have that like bonding time with your kids, I feel like that's always super important. Like, bedtime has always been important. And like, you know, I am one of those. Also, like, I'm a big believer of like, if my nanny is here, and she can help me and like going out for a run, you know, and she helps me with them. Like, it's okay, I know, you know, and I can go out for a run because that run will probably bring me mental, you know, helped me clear my head, like I try not to get into that kind of mommy guilt so much addicts. You know, like, if you want to go to yoga, and you need they can stay with their fathers like playing or watching TV, it's fine. You know, we'll get like, so kind of worked up about those things.

Amy: 43:15

Yeah, I think too, was like the last year and a half, like, that's helped so much with the guilt because I feel like I have it so much. And now you're working from home. Or if whenever I do go back to the office, it's never going to be the same as it was like, because working from home is so much more accessible and easy now. So just being present, like physically is helpful, because you don't feel like oh my god, I'm like at the office, and I don't know what's happening at home. And I don't I'm not hearing the conversations. And so I think that's been a huge change for so many people.

Karla: 43:45

I think in the beginning, it was hard because they were like, I'm sure you have like homeschool and like, you know, it was impossible to like, you know, make sure that they were connecting, especially because they were four and a half and like for them to pay attention. But I feel like once you learn how to manage it. I feel like that work life balance. While yes, I feel like a lot of us are working more. It's still like now you can say like I'm going to work two days a week from home. Right and

Katie: 44:15

it's on your terms, right? Yeah, we were just speaking to in an episode that's gonna be airing shortly a parenting coach about this and what you said was exactly either Amy or or the coach said it was quality versus quantity. And that's like, you know, dedicating the hours to the work and being there instead of micromanaging the children at the same time and vice versa and dedicating the hours to caring for yourself instead, instead of hanging on by a thread. It's so important, but it's yeah, it's the quality. I love that and it's a great quote that we'll be putting on Instagram. So we would be remissed if we didn't ask you who your favorite new designer trends like what are some of your faves right now?

Karla: 44:59

Um But what am I, you know, I really like it's funny because I feel like your the way you dress probably changed like drastically, I mean, even from like New York to Mexico change so much because, you know, in New York I feel like people wear dresses and skirts and like a pantsuit. And now, I feel like here like not so much like, I'll be wearing a dress and people will be like, where are you going? To the office, you know? So I feel like that has like, really, really changed. And I feel like I'm always wearing like now, I was telling Katie before you got on me that the weather in Mexico is funny and like it since it never gets really cold. There's no heat in home, like in your house. So it's like 35 degrees in the morning. And then they'll go up to like 72 So you're freezing inside. So it's like kind of like a weird, it's like LA kind of Sanford right layers. And so it's a lot about layers and like sweaters. But I really love I mean, like my dream wardrobe would probably come from like Sarah Burton, Alexander McQueen. I feel like I love what she's doing. And I love what she's been doing with denim. I love Mexican American designer called Jonathan Cohen. That grew up in San Diego and now he's based in New York. I love Proenza schooler there was actually an article about them today in women's wear business of fashion. I think about a lot of these like mid price brands and like what, you know, like American fashion and what's happening with American fashion and yeah, it was it. I think it's really interesting and it'll be really interesting to see this fashion with like, how many more designers we see but yeah, I like I would say like Proenza Jonathan was saying this guy, Willy Chavarria, that's at Calvin Klein. He's doing menswear and he's kind of changing that. The like what like menswear, Calvin Klein, and he has like, really kind of cool casting ideas. But I guess I if I would, if I were to say like, who would be my dream kind of wardrobe. I would definitely say Sarah Burton net McQueen. Nice. And Fashion Week's what next week? Yeah, it starts Friday.

Katie: 47:18

Okay, that's exciting.

Amy: 47:19

So we'll have to follow you on Instagram. So

Karla: 47:21

we'd also love because I feel like she just like designs for women. And it's fun and like, is Lulu JOHNSON

Katie: 47:32

I love that you there's you love so many. But it's hard to narrow it down which of course, is appropriate.

Karla: 47:39

You know, because like sometimes for me, like I feel like wearing a skirt. And then other days I just feel like wearing like jeans and a jacket. You

Amy: 47:46

know, like she looks amazing and chic and everything like and like, even from like 25 years ago, always

Karla: 47:54

I had gotten dressed up for you guys. I was wearing this like pink silk shirt and then I took it off because I got called as I was walking around and the art week is start art week is starting here in Mexico. Tomorrow. It's kind of like the about Basel of Mexico. So

Amy: 48:11

that's cool.

Karla: 48:11

A lot going on. I mean, you know, it's obviously on a much smaller scale and like, you know, with all the precautions, but I feel like we see like thing I feel like with things coming back like little by little people will want to get dressed up again.

Amy: 48:27

I know that's nice. Yeah. Okay, so we're gonna move into our rap session, especially some quick questions. Okay. So the first one is, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack? Wellness or beauty hack, like shortcut or tip or what's your kind of favorite?

Karla: 48:44

Oh, oh my god, I have a good one. So, my sister worked for Karolina Herrera and you know, she looks amazing and is I don't know how old she is. But she's, you know, kind of

Katie: 48:56

looks gorgeous like timeless. Yeah,

Karla: 48:59

he always said told my sister to never which I do a lot but I need to every time I do it I remember her. She always said never to dry your face with a towel. You know like you grab your like she always says that the gentle Pat's like everything. So now I apply it like always like moisturizer. And like when I you know have like, these rituals? Like, I feel like I always remember the the non towel just to be a little more gentle.

Katie: 49:30

Yeah, and like that. Yeah, like that. Yeah. All right, this next one we call your five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and Uber ping do and they're five minutes away. What are you doing to like, get out the door and get in the car on time.

Karla: 49:42

I do this a lot.

Amy: 49:44

I was just gonna say. I think you guys could

Karla: 49:49

relate. But I remember a friend of mine used to get so mad when she used to see people putting makeup on on the subway. She's like, you have those that minute at home for God's sakes. Just But usually I kind of I guess I'm always rushing as I was saying about the yoga class like I'll like do an hour and 15 minutes and like rush home to be ready by nine. So when I have like five minutes I would say I think about what I'm gonna wear in the shower. When I get out I obviously am like huge on moisturizing. I use a great Sicily Moisturizing Cream SPF no matter where you live this is like one thing that my dermatologist and Dr. Tim, NGO Luke from Royal Fern told me is like you cannot leave home without it, whether it's like two degrees or 102. So that and then I love this kind of Chanel liquid foundation I've been putting on that I like it's like very loose and like feels like also moisturizing and then always concealer. And always lipstick even though that kind of face mask thing is annoying. But if I have to like, be ready quick, those are like what I try and do the most

Katie: 51:06

those years ago to like that. Nice. We need to get like we have to have your favorite products, the names and because people are gonna want to know Yeah.

Amy: 51:16

Love it. Love it. Okay, and you kind of touched on this before, but how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Karla: 51:23

Um, I like need to work out in the morning. I feel like that's something that I don't know if it was Tucson that did this to me, but like everyone always worked out. It was like, in Super shape, but like to me, I like love getting up and like, the first thing I do is have coffee. Even though I just did that Chroma cleanse and they were like, avoid coffee if possible. I'm like, the if possible is right. So that's like my kind of ritual in the morning. Like, no matter if I have like 15 minutes or 45 is just to have like a quick Nespresso. And then I get up and I go run or do like, Tracy Anderson videos, online. Okay, like for yoga, and then I kind of helped my girls get ready. And we rush out of the house. And that's, that's how I you know, I love walking to I just feel like that brings me like such peace. Like, especially during COVID When people were like, you know, locked in their homes. I would always go for a walk.

Katie: 52:26

Yeah, did Tracy Anderson method is it's good. It's intense. Like, yeah, right.

Karla: 52:32

I mean, it's I love that the streaming I feel like all of those like classes that like adjusted to like have the streaming moment.

Amy: 52:40

Wow. Yeah. Great. Great day. So Katie. So Carla, at the ends of our show, we usually do a product review or like something that we're loving right now that we want to tell listeners about. So Katie has something for us and I don't know what it is either. So I'm excited to hear what you have to review for us today.

Karla: 52:58

skincare product or anything,

Amy: 52:59

anything, anything related to like skincare, beauty, wellbeing, wellness,

Karla: 53:04

I was just saying I just did this. You know, I feel like you know, after Christmas, we're all kind of feeling like we need to reset like we go to our place at the beach and I don't know how to go to the beach without eating like chips and salsa every day. So I come back feeling not very healthy. But I just did the chroma cleanse. It's like a five day cleanse. Have you heard of it? It's

Katie: 53:29

I haven't No, tell us

Amy: 53:31

today. Really, like pretty looking at it. Like it's so

Karla: 53:34

beautiful. Yeah, like in this, but it's really great because I feel like it's not even like weight loss. It's just kind of to get your mind back to like, eating like a normal person. Not you know, or at least for me was it was well balanced. And like they send you it's five days and you have like soups and kind of like protein like veggies, but like they give you like a matcha latte in the morning and then like a like a shake a super greens, elixirs that kind of helps you get like all your vitamins. And when you finish like you don't even crave anything bad. Like you just want to have like, the item that you want to keep eating like veggies and fruit.

Amy: 54:18

It's like a reset kind of Yeah, yeah. It

Karla: 54:20

felt really, it felt really nice and not in that like you're starving yourself. You know? Yeah, I have to shut that out. Reset.

Amy: 54:30

Yeah, it sounds good now.

Katie: 54:31

Yeah, that is up to check it out to the network. What's the name of it again? Gramma.

Amy: 54:36

Ch ch O. O Ma.

Katie: 54:40

Okay, next. All right. Well, let I have one two and it's I'll just do it really quickly because it's not a beauty product or anything super exciting, but I've been trying to work on my sleep hygiene and trying to like fall asleep easier. That's my thing. I can't fall asleep. I can do once I'm out. I'm out. But getting there is tough. So this one It's by natural and it's relaxed plus night calm they have mult sorry, like part of the sticker came off but they have multiple products for all different things for for like for sleep and for joint health and brain health and then for mood and stress and this is actually for mood and stress not so much for sleep, but I take it to help me wind down and get the wheels to stop turning to law into a nice sleep and it works and legitimately worse it has. And I'm like I'm not the easiest person to put to sleep so I know it's good. It has l theanine five HTP and a small amount of melatonin which I like that it's a little because melatonin on its own does give me a hangover I'm like groggy the next day. Really? Yeah, it makes me like foggy me too. So

Amy: 55:46

I can take it Yeah.

Katie: 55:47

And then it also has a little bit of lemon balm extract and you know I gotta see yes, it's like $20 that a pill or like a gum it's a gummy and it's a pretty clean gummy. It's it's organic tapioca sugar, or an organic cane sugar, pectin, citric acid, vegetable juice, coconut oil, like there's no sugar alcohols and garbage in it. And it does taste really good. But yeah, it's 100% Drug Free non habit forming for like, I want to say maybe two weeks.

Amy: 56:17

I find it helpful. That's great.

Katie: 56:18

I found it very helpful. I've been playing like I've been trying different things here and there. I tried a different one last night. And it was I ended up like also taking it works. Yeah.

Amy: 56:30

I love it. good reviews. Thanks for chroma and for what is that called? Again? Katie. Your

Katie: 56:36

your is natural relax, plus night calm.

Amy: 56:39

Okay, well, we'll post all this in the show notes. But yeah, it's awesome. So Carla, thank you so much for like sharing all your wisdom and for spending time with us. It was so amazing to hear about your experience and how far you've come and I always love your voice. It's so like distinct and it's so great to see you and to hear you and we definitely have to meet up next time we're in the same thank you for being on the show. We always like to end with a mantra just kind of set our intention to close out the show. So Katie, what do you have for us?

Katie: 57:08

Alright, so this one is just something to remember and it is a quote I should add by Eleanor Roosevelt. It is happiness is not a goal. It is a byproduct of a life well lived. So I feel like you know like you're speaking to working hard and you know that I'm bringing up my phone left happiness.

Karla: 57:27

Thank you guys so much. I hope Thank you, you in person.

Amy: 57:32

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 38 - How To Cook Healthy, Family Friendly, And Fast With Kat Can Cook (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 38 How To Cook Healthy, Family Friendly, And Fast With Kat Can Cook.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

.Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast, where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman. And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation Yeah, so nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. We're obsessed with your content. It's so good.

Kat: 0:35

Oh my god, I love you. Thank

Amy: 0:37

you.

Katie: 0:37

It's so your tic tock. We first like I just discovered the whole tic tock thing recently, Amy's been into it forever. But you're like I was I went into like a Kat hole on

Unknown: 0:48

a Kat hole that I've never heard of Kat hole. Thank you. Yeah, it's been it's been really wild. I feel like I don't consume enough. I was just talking to a friend of mine about that this morning. I feel like I don't I want to consume content again. And I you know, because of my bandwidth restrictions, you know, creating and going in putting out content you know, conversing with, you know, my community and then I'm off again, but I miss like actually consuming like Tik Tok in particular, but

Amy: 1:21

I know I am. I know, I have weeks where I have more time where I'm like, I go down the rabbit hole, tick tock, and I love every second of it. And I just like learn new things or get ideas. And then there's weeks where I'm so busy, that you just don't get a chance and it's so nice to be able to do that. But anyway, thanks for joining us. All right. So I will I will start us off. Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family. We are super excited to chat with Kat Ashmore today, aka Kat can cook on Instagram and tic tac. She is a tick tock chef, a blogger a producer a mom. She is a classically trained chef, a TV personality and Emmy award winning food television producer and recipe developer focused on real food recipes and cooking tips for busy lives. She's got a 1.7 million following on Tik Tok, which is well deserved because we were just talking before we started recording and how incredible and user friendly her content is. Super engaging, really high quality video and Kat is known for incorporating unique tricks and creativity into everyday meal preparation. She aims to empower the home cook to make delicious healthy meals for themselves and their families and have fun doing it. And I will say I love your bio, which is that mom friend you asked for healthy recipes because it makes it very approachable and accessible. And that's what we're all about as the show. So welcome to the show. Kat so nice to have you here.

Unknown: 2:49

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to talk with you.

Amy: 2:52

So we are going to start out with something we call our Nirvana the week which is really just a way to step back and think about our week and what brought us joy this week. Whether it was a moment a day, whatever thing that spark joy so I will let you Katie, give us your Nirvana the week.

Katie: 3:10

Okay, great. Thanks, Amy. Hi Kat. We're so excited that you're here and i i should say we live in the same town if it was like a pre COVID world we can be together. So but eventually we will meet in person I look forward to that. Mine are one of the week just happened which is why I look like I do which is kind of a mess. But I just came from being back on the reformer and doing Pilates for the first time in eight weeks. I had I had like post COVID syndrome. So I have been out of commission and now I'm back and to do what I love. It's like my happy place. I mean, I love being other informer my brain goes completely clear. And it just it feels so good. It felt so it was like I felt like the first time my body moved in like two months. That's really what it felt like so it was fantastic. That was my nirvana for sure. What about you, Amy?

Amy: 3:58

I love that Katie you're radiating I can tell you feel really good. So I love that. I would say probably yesterday's launch. So cat we launched one of like my favorite people. Alli Webb. We launched her podcast yesterday, her interview with us and it was sort of a first full circle moment for Katie and I because we've always looked up to her. I've admired her for years. And she's sort of been my inspiration for like starting a business in the first place. Starting my own thing in the first place. It's to be able to launch our episode was was really fun. And I think it was a good like reflection moment for Katie and I because we we launched a podcast a year ago. It was just like a nice moment. So that was great. What about you, cat?

Unknown: 4:38

I was thinking about this. So I think my Nirvana moment was going to the diner with my going to the diner with my kids and my husband and actually enjoying a meal together because they're at those ages where they're three and five. So I'm like I get these glimpses have like, oh, like, this is what it's gonna be like when, you know, they're not running all over the restaurant and going through people's purses. And, you know, we can actually have a conversation and I can finish a meal was really, I mean, the diner might as well have been a palace. I mean, it felt really, really good to be able to just connect and soak it up and I'm managing my expectations. You know, I I know that next time might be a complete disaster again, but I'm very grateful for those. Those glimpses of joy and calm and normalcy when I get them.

Katie: 5:40

That's lovely. We was by chance Sherwood diner in Westport, because in last night, because I almost took my kids last night to the diner.

Unknown: 5:48

Oh, that's so funny. It was Southport diner. So very, okay. We

Katie: 5:51

almost went to Southport Diner because we were in Fairfield for the dentist. Anyway, I digress, but isn't really

Unknown: 5:55

funny. Okay, our favorite place?

Katie: 5:58

That's great. Yeah, that's a good one. I totally get what you mean by that, by the way, like when the kids are at that age, or they sit down and they want to have conversations with you around the dinner table. It's a lot of fun. Right? She's Amy has an older she has teenagers. So she She's their

Amy: 6:12

preteen and a teenager. Yeah. 12 and 14, almost 15. But yeah, when they start becoming like real people and are able to talk and like enjoy a meal together. It's such a milestone, right? Because when the kids are little, you're like a mad person you can never eat. That's the worst. It's like the worst going out to dinner is horrible. It's awful. And now they're starting to get That's great.

Unknown: 6:35

Yeah, great.

Katie: 6:36

Sweet. Well, let's kick it off. I want to get right into it. Because we want to get to know you a bit like we've been following you on social media and your content is so fun, like Amy was saying it's so accessible and easy to follow, easy to do. So tell us a little bit first about becoming this insane social media and blog sensation, you maybe we should back up, what were you doing before you were cat can cook.

Unknown: 7:05

Thank you for that, by the way. So the couple of years prior to starting, can cook, which was in July of 2020. It was you know, a few months into the pandemic. And I had been a stay at home mom for three years, I was in a I was in a pretty dark place. And that and I think, you know, as the pandemic started, it exacerbated, I think whatever state was kind of like, you know, humming along within a lot of people, it kind of just forced things up, right. So that really was where I was when I started getting creative again, and I started the website. And I think when you're at a hard moment in your life, you either kind of get kicked down the stairs or up the stairs. And that really was a bottom that I was able to spring from and I took action and I'm grateful that I did. But um, prior to that I had, as you said, you know, I had gone to culinary school. And I had sort of worked in almost every area of food media and business. So from, you know, being a food television producer, to a recipe developer to Food Products Manager to a buyer to you know, so I had kind of run the gamut in it. And so I'm, you know, making the choice to stay home with my kids. And we'll probably get into this. But it really didn't even feel like a choice, if I'm honest. And I think a lot of women deal with this. Because being in the suburbs, and knowing that my career really exists in New York City. There really is not a career for me here. So my choices at the time seem to be commute into New York City every day, which my husband also did, and never see my kids and probably not really see my husband, or stop working. And those were the only two options really available to me at the time.

Katie: 9:10

Absolutely. And I mean, we should note, it's an hour's commute. So eat for short, like my husband does it and he gets home often at like eight o'clock after the concern. But so I completely can understand that. When you were doing television producing what were some of the shows you were contributing to on your on?

Unknown: 9:26

Sure. So right after culinary school, I ended up getting a position with Martha Stewart. So that was really amazing. She had been my idol. It still is very surreal to kind of talk about even though you know, I had a great sort of close relationship with her. Yeah, but my I was notorious in my family for I would bring cookbooks with me on vacation all the time, like six heavy cooks. And my dad was like, you know, are you serious? But I would go on vacation and I'd be Reading them in like a hotel room like novels at night. And my mom thought I was, you know, he's like, where

Amy: 10:06

are you cooking like,

Unknown: 10:07

we're in a hotel room. But I just I couldn't get enough. I love to consume the content. I love the story of food. I love the connection. I love the community. I love the creativity of it. So I used to read her entertaining books, you know, those are some of the ones that I read all the time. So it was really very surreal to be able to work for her. But at a time where most of my class, graduating from culinary school was going into a restaurant, which was highly encouraged by all of my instructors at the time, it was really like you need to be in a restaurant, you need to get hands on experience, my instincts were just like, that is not going to be good for me, that is not going to be good for my mental health. That's, you know, I had been like a waitress in college, I kind of knew what that life was like. And it's so much admiration for the people that do it because it is a lot of hard labor. It's very long hours. It's hard on a lot of levels, especially now. But I interviewed for an externship. It's called it's sort of the last leg of your education at the Institute of Culinary Education. There was one spot on the Martha Stewart show. And I ended up getting it, which was great. And within like three months, they offered me a full time position on the show. So I was one of the people that produce the food segments. So anytime you saw Martha cooking with, you know, celebrities, you know, chefs or celebrity chefs or you know, sometimes ourselves, I was on television as well doing things like Thanksgiving hotlines and product reviews and that kind of stuff. So cool so much. It was very cool.

Katie: 11:42

It was I've always wondered about that world. Like, I mean, there's a lot that goes behind the scenes there. Right. And you guys are like all of these other people are actually doing a lot of cooking. Not Martha, right like she does on screen cooking. But right. Isn't there a lot of behind the scenes action?

Unknown: 11:57

Yeah, 90 98% of it is done before the camera starts rolling? Absolutely. You know, you've got swaps you've got and you know, now of course, I'm seeing how so much of that plays. So much of those skills that I had almost forgotten about when I went in a different direction started working for her at corporate and developing recipes. That production side, you know, I've been a storyteller my whole life, right. And the way that I look at it now is that now I'm storytelling on social media in short form video, right? And I'm calling for brands, but I've been a storyteller my entire life. It's just different platforms that I've told that story. So yeah, it was, yes, it was an unbelievable, an unbelievable experience. I also think that I I grew up very fast. Really living in New York City. I almost feel like everybody should live in New York City for like,

Amy: 12:54

three runs. Yeah, no. Both lived in New York for Yeah, over 10 years and totally agree. It's an education.

Unknown: 13:01

It is such an education. And I don't know if you agree with this, but the way that I looked at it was like, I got there. And I was like, Okay, I really need to figure out who I want to be. Because you can be anything like it is it is a place where it's not like a lot of other cities where there's a general direction that the tide flows in, right, like New York, there's everything. So you really are forced to carve out, like what direction is it that I want to take? Because everything is at your disposal. And I that's the time that I really got a backbone. And I'm I mean, I'm so grateful for that. Yeah, it was, it was amazing.

Amy: 13:43

So great. So tell me a little bit about I know you said you started creating your own content and storytelling on Tik Tok and Instagram in early 2020. So how did you kind of figure out that you wanted to do that? Were you just watching tick tock and then saying, Oh, I could do that with my stuff. Like, how did you like actually start because I think that's also the hard part. Just like identifying that this is something you could actually do and make a living doing?

Unknown: 14:08

Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a great question. I didn't. I didn't really even think that far. I had never been on Tik Tok. So the way that it all happened was that it was at a time where tick tock was, you know, again, the pandemic had started and tick tock was at a place within the organization where they were had a priority of leveling up the platform and maturing the platform and making it really heavy on educational useful content. Right. So it was at a time where a friend of mine who is model and actress out in LA she had participated in this program with tick tock called the creative learning fund, I believe it was called and where they brought in education creators and you worked directly with tick tock for a period of time. So like weekly content meetings, and you learned about the platform, and what was great was that you were really accountable. You had to post a certain amount of videos, you know, per month. So I just said, Yes, I was again, I was not in a great place. I didn't feel like I had a whole lot to give.

Amy: 15:26

So tick tock reach out, to where your friend connected you and

Unknown: 15:30

my friend recommended me for it. That's amazing. Yeah. It's so funny, cuz she texted me the other day. And she was like, she just had a baby. She was been in that haze. And she was like, like, I just looked at your page. Like, I knew that this would happen, you know, but it didn't happen overnight. It seems like it happens. Yeah. But I've had these spurts where, you know, which informs me what kind of content my community really wants to see, of course, but yeah, so I said yes. To this program.

Amy: 15:58

What a great program. Well, yeah.

Unknown: 16:00

I mean, it was an amazing opportunity. And I really didn't feel worthy of it. And I, I remember my husband kind of going like, well, what are your goals with? And he would like, throw these things out there. Like, do you want to write a cookbook? Do you wanna have a product line? Do you want to make $100,000 Next year, and I was bristle, because I was like, I felt this pressure. Like, I'm not gonna do that, you know, it just felt too big. Yeah, that way. And now those things are happening, which is so cool to me to see. But um, yeah, it really saved me in a lot of ways. That sounds a little dramatic, but

Katie: 16:39

it's not amazing. It's okay.

Amy: 16:42

Yeah, congratulations. And it's,

Unknown: 16:43

I work with Tik Tok a

Amy: 16:44

lot through my other job, which is marketing. And I know they're really invested in their creators. I didn't know they had a program like that, and what a valuable place to learn, like how to do it. And now that you're saying that, I'm like, okay, that's, that must have been such a good foundational way to start because, I mean, obviously, your videos are so great, but like, I'm sure they gave you a lot of good tips and tricks. So yeah, speaking of your videos, so let's segue into some meal prep, like go to healthy family friendly. I mean, obviously, there's tons of this on your, on your on your feeds, but what are kind of your favorite things to make and like easy things because I am not. Katie is an amazing cook and I always still recipes from her, but I am not a good cook at all. So I'm always looking for quick ways to like have weekday meals or snacks on the go. What are your favorites? Well, do

Unknown: 17:34

you want to start with like weeknight dinners? Are we sure? Yeah. Yeah, cuz I feel like dinner time is is the is the troublesome time for most of us. Right? Always, like, especially being a mom, even for me, like I cook for a living and sometimes I feel really burdened by getting dinner on the table. So I completely get it. So I think I like to batch cook as much as possible. So oftentimes, when I'm making something, I will make a good amount of it and I'll free some of it. Like I'm always thinking about like, I have to cook right now. Anyway, I might as well like stock away some right so like last night, and this doesn't really apply because my kids wouldn't touch it to be honest, but I made like a minestrone, right so I made like this like beautiful winter minestrone with all this like great stuff in it. They like pick the pasta out, that's fine, whatever. But I made like a huge batch of it. And then you know, I froze, you know, probably like three really good sized containers. I made a double batch. So I'm like thinking about it's an investment in your like future busy. Yeah,

Amy: 18:45

I'm really bad at that.

Unknown: 18:46

I'm always thinking about that. And really, it's the other thing too is that like I'm big on meal prep, but like meal prep light, so not the, you know, little segmented containers and that kind of thing, but I'll be making batches of pesto and I'll freeze it I freeze it in ice cube trays right and so then you've got these, like little cubes of pesto. You throw it into a sauce you put into a blender when it's thought you've got a salad dressing like you've got it awesome. I love that idea. Not your freezer stocked with it. I don't. I'm very big on not throwing things away. I'm sure we'll talk a little bit about that. But my family's big meatball family. I don't know about yours, but something about kids and meatballs. They just it tends to just work. So I make a lot of different kinds of meatballs. I do these like chimichurri meatballs. I do these teriyaki meatballs with like roasted broccoli, sheet pan situations can be really really easy. And very, very simple to do. So. We are big. I mean my my kids like flavor it very much like me. They'd like big flavored food. So I do a lot of different marinates I have teriyaki knee, so marinate on my website. And I love to do it with like grilled chicken or grilled salmon. You could also do it in the airfryer. So you could just like marinate it in the nice oh teriyaki marinade, and then throw it in airfryer or boil it or whatever it is during the winter months. It's just like flavor bombs and then you've got it taken care of like it lasts for a while and your fridge, grab a piece of protein from the freezer, get it to frosting, and you've got your dinner done.

Katie: 20:30

As you're passing my home is my kids don't all want to eat my food and like thank you if you're saying I'm a good cook, I'm not that good. But I think I do all right. And as I ended up being like a short order cook Yeah, and cooking one meal for one kid one meal for the other kid. That has really made me not want to cook as much anymore. You know me? Yeah, well, I guess it is frustrating. But you're I mean, it's of course your kids are, you know, three and five and eating your food. You make amazing food. And did you always like from the time they can eat? Was it always like you're not getting kid food? We're doing this like you're like, I'll eat my meals.

Unknown: 21:09

No, I am not any better than you let me just I mean it like my first I don't know if you if you saw this tick tock but my first truly viral tick tock. Was this like jokey? I mean, it's ridiculous. But it's just like joke that I need because I say to my friends where I'm like, you know, when people find out that I'm a trained chef, they're like, Oh, you must never give your kids frozen chicken nuggets. And I'm like, obviously not Janet, I cook them first. You know, like, literally a million views on Instagram, like, you know, I am like very honest about the fact where I'm like, I will give my kids a box of Annie's macaroni and cheese. And I will put cauliflower rice in it. And they will smart with it. Like cauliflower takes on whatever flavors you put it with. Right? It's a very neutral thing. So I put it in pancakes, I put it in meatballs like you could put it in. That's a great idea. I never thought about that. My superfood pancakes are like, literally they're like banana oats. I put almond butter in there for fat because like, my kids won't eat almond butter or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like they won't eat sandwiches? I wish they would never mind. They won't do it. You know, they're not easy on me. So I completely get it. So my approach is this. I make sure that there is one thing maybe two that I know that they like that they don't like absolutely despise. So they're like safe foods, right. So whether it's like, you know, sourdough toast with some butter on it, or like some carrots with some dressing, I make sure that there are a couple of things. And then I'll serve that, like I know that they're not going to eat salmon. But I will put salmon on their plate. And I just manage my own expectations of it and say, if they eat some carrots, and they eat a piece of bread, like that's different. Yeah, yeah, well, good. So like a big part of it for me has been letting go of this idea that they have to have a balanced meal and looking at like, I just aim for like a balanced day. Yes. Like, I just aim for a balanced day. So that is why I like those, these superfood pancakes I make. If I get them eating a few of those pancakes, I'm like, I don't care if they have Pirate's Booty the rest of the day, like they had all of the nutrients and healthy fats that they need, you know, and it just takes the pressure off. Because I'm like you like doing the short order cook. That's not fun for anybody. And I've done it too. I've done it too.

Amy: 23:50

So let me ask you a question about snacking stuff. Because my family including me tends to be big snackers and especially with teenage boys like they don't I mean, my older one will, is starting to eat like real good foods and like flavors. My younger one is super picky. But they tend to snack all day long. Literally, my teenager, my older one will go downstairs at midnight and have five bowls of cereal. I mean, he's crazy. And he's eating phase and they'll just eat cereal and junk. And like my little ones like with candy. And so I just want to have like little snacks that they can eat that are sitting in front of them that they don't have to do anything to because I'll be like, oh, there was this in the fridge and they're like, Oh, I

Unknown: 24:32

didn't see it. I'm like it's in front of your face and you put it in the microwave for 10 seconds. So like what's like an easy thing to prepare that they can just grab? Yeah, that's a great question. Um, so the first thing that comes to my mind is not necessarily a food suggestion, but it's more of an organizational suggestion. Love Oh, yeah. So a friend of mine. Her name is at home with Shannon I don't know if you follow her but she's known for like herself serve for fridge situation and self serve stations. So she has like self serve stations for everything. She's got four kids. And like having a section of the refrigerator that is like their section where they know it's like, their snacks, their food. I don't know, like, I think when they're young, depending upon the kid, I think the the benefit is a little bit different. But when they're young, there's that like pride and like, who is my cooling? I can have anything in this area, right? Like something that's really accessible. And it also is like, yeah, it keeps food from kind of going to the back of the fridge to die. And yeah, never getting seen and being like, I didn't know that that was there. I'm realizing I probably need to do that for my husband. Because you know, for the most part, I'm like,

Amy: 25:46

Oh my God, it is everything. My husband does that all the time will be like, Oh, we're out of XYZ. And I'm like, What are you talking about? It's right there. He's like, Oh, I didn't see it. I'm like, if this is not on the front shelf directly in front of his face, he won't see it.

Unknown: 26:00

I just have to put like, like a PBR label on it or something. So I don't know. I gotta do something about it. But yeah, so I mean, my first question would be, what kinds of snacks do they tend to want? So what do they reach for currently?

Amy: 26:17

Cereal? Cereal? I would say cereals number one maybe like popcorn or chips. Or for my little one candy, which we've got sucker. He's like, addicted. Or like, you know, I don't I try not to buy them but like gummy snacks or fruit strips or bars? Like things like that.

Unknown: 26:36

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, we do. Honestly, we do all of that same stuff. Yeah. A big thing for me that I'm aware of is that if I can make try to get whatever they're snacking on, if it has some fat component, it's gonna keep them full. So that in Yeah, half an hour. They're not like, I want more of this. I want more that, you know, they're just constantly eating and then they're not hungry for dinner or whatever. So it can be a challenge for sure. I do a lot of like smoothies for them. But we'll do I mean, we do like the Lara bar route like yeah, like those chopsticks like the turn? Yes, I

Amy: 27:17

have those. Okay.

Unknown: 27:19

I'll do like knots. Would they do nuts? If you made like a?

Amy: 27:23

Maybe? Yeah, you know, I do have tons of nuts, but they don't. They won't.

Unknown: 27:27

I think yeah, maybe I should mix up like a nut like situation for them. Because they do have tons of nuts, but they don't like grab nuts like I would but yeah, maybe that's like my hair. But what I do is I'll do like maple glaze pecans. And then I have Yeah, so you mean literally it says you just tossed them with maple syrup and like a little bit of flaky salt in a saucepan, and then it hardens. So it sounds so good. Yeah. So I mean, it's great for me too, because I could throw it on salads. I could, whatever. But um, yeah, it's that sweet component, because they're not going to grab like a handful of Brazil nuts. Like, yeah, you know.

Amy: 28:03

So I do I do have a section in the pantry for them. I not in the fridge. That's a good idea. But in the pantry, I do have a section but it's kind of evolved because now they're older. So they just kind of take everything but I'm gonna I'm gonna think of some good nut ideas. I like that because it's a healthy fat. And

Unknown: 28:19

it's like, mimicking what, you know, do they have like, my daughter has a wicked sweet tooth, right? So like in loves, like fruit. So anytime that I can, I can incorporate like some kind of sweetness in there. And also, like, I don't know if this is a whole other thing, but I think we can get so dogmatic about like, Oh, sugar and kids and this and that. It's like, for me, you know, if it's going to get them to eat something healthy. Like it's not covered in chalk. It's, it's all worth it for me. You know, it's, it's real food too. So

Amy: 28:52

yeah, actually, my older one loves fruit. And he's hilarious. Like, I'll get to two things are raspberries at the store. They're gone. Like an hour. He eats great, both of them. But I mean, it's great. But it's like he's telling me you have to go to the store. We need more fruit. We need more of this.

Unknown: 29:12

I'm like, can you just go to the store and like, get what you want? Because I can't I can't keep up with the amount of food and it's not the kind of thing you can buy in bulk like, right? It's not Yeah, it's not like a Costco thing where

Katie: 29:24

you could Yeah, a teenage boy you're out of house and home. Oh, sure.

Unknown: 29:29

Right. Yeah,

Katie: 29:30

so I speaking of your content I saw you have these really amazing food hacks to keep in your like produce longer and to reviving it. I saw something strawberries and something with Romaine and I'm gonna let you tell us and then do you have any other ones?

Unknown: 29:45

Yes, yes. So I really it really hurts my feelings to have to throw like anything out. I mean, sometimes my husband's like, what are you doing? Like why are you saving? You know, you're getting like a little Same here, but it really I do not like throwing anything out. So what I do with berries when I'm buying berries, I'm not buying them a ton right now, but what I do with berries is because raspberries in particular, I mean, if you don't have a son that is eating them within like 20 minutes, they tend to go bad really quickly, right? They get bad really, really fast. So if you soak it in a mixture of one part of vinegar, like your everyday white vinegar, you could also use like an apple cider vinegar or whatever, don't waste your expensive stuff. one part vinegar to four parts water, and you just soak it does not make it could be anywhere from four to 10 parts water, if you're really adverse to any kind of vinegar thing, you could just rinse it off. But what it does is it kills the mold inside of the berries, and it keeps it so you can in the summertime, I mean I've had strawberries last, like up to two weeks, if I buy like a big Wow, big package of them. Yeah. Or if I go strawberry picking or whatever. And I'm like, Okay, I can't like be making jam and freezing and all that stuff now. So that is really, really helpful. And when it comes to vegetables because I buy a ton of veggie quick question,

Amy: 31:15

how long do you sell get? How long do you sell? minutes? Okay, and then rinse it off and store it. Okay, Natalie, go ahead, vegetable, sorry.

Unknown: 31:23

Clarify, um, when it comes to vegetables, so you can revive most vegetables with ice water. I tend to when I when I get my veg, I often do this to an online farmers market. Based in New York, I often will order from them. But if I'm going to the store as well, oftentimes, I'll prep some of my veggies when I get home. But if you've got veggies that like you're grabbing a head of romaine, and it's like really sad and wilted. You don't have to throw it out, you can just put it in some ice water. And you will find that it really perks up for you. I have it's amazing. I've even had like carrots where like, I could not even snap them like they were like, I mean, like they were like yoga carrots, you know, it was like, I was like this thing. But then I put it overnight in ice water. Like I peeled it, I put it overnight and ice water and the carrots were perfectly fine. The next day, they were chopping up crying. Oh, yeah,

Katie: 32:27

that's amazing. It makes so much sense. Because the there's so much water content. That's what vegetables and fruit are like, right and you feed water to flowers to bring them alive. Why wouldn't the same thing I've never thought of that. And the other thing was strawberries and the fruit and killing the mold is genius. Because you can accidentally ingest berries that have molded someone and it's really bad for you like it's bad for your gut and all of that stuff. So that's just a great health hack as well. I love that.

Unknown: 32:54

And it's easy, and it's cheap. And it's stuff you already have on hand, it takes two minutes. You know, same thing with herbs with the water, like I put them my favorite way to store herbs like fresh herbs is to put them in like a mason jar filled with water, and then put like a bag on top of it. So like a stash or bag or whatever, and then put it in my refrigerator door and they're gonna last week's for you that way.

Katie: 33:20

That's great. Your your food waste, like how much it really, really bothers you. I mean, I can greatly appreciate it. And I think everyone these days is trying to lean towards reducing that. But I'm so curious as part of that drilled into your own culinary school because I know that in restaurants like chefs and everything, I've heard that like, no food is thrown out like you do something with even the scraps of the scraps. Is that Is that a thing from school?

Unknown: 33:47

You know, that's, that's a really interesting point. I actually think it's more from I mean, my parents were not wasteful people at all. So I grew up with that, you know, my grandfather, like he would lose a shoe and like, hang on to the other one. Like it's so good. Like, come from that. And But Martha also is very much that way. She will not I mean, if there's one drop of batter in a bowl, she's like, No, no, no, like, she will not let you rent it out, you know, and she grew up quite poor. So we had that professional sit like standpoint as well. So I think that that, that that made a difference to it. Thank you for asking that because I hadn't hadn't really considered that before.

Katie: 34:32

I'm super curious. What are your top five pantry staples for healthy meals because I feel like there's things that as long as they're there, we can always go to them and turn something out. That's like, you know, somewhat healthy aside from always having the fresh produce and everything on hand. Entry staples.

Unknown: 34:50

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, there have been times where I have even you know, I've been recipe testing a lot and then I look in my refrigerator and I'm Like, I don't really know what I'm gonna do for dinner. So, one of my favorite so the first thing that comes to my mind is chickpeas. So all lagoons really like I've always got, especially white beans and chickpeas in my pantry, like I do a lot with lentils as well. If you've got lentils, chickpeas, white beans, ie you are well on your way to a meal, one of my favorite. Okay, so I need to answer your question first because I can go on a tangent so I would say I would say lentils number one. Chickpeas, white beans, I'm going to bunch all of that in together. Number two, some grains. So whether it's rice, or Pharaoh or something like that, and then I would say two big things would be in the realm of some kind of a cooking paste sauce, things like that. So for me, kimchi is always love kimchi. Obsessed. Kimchi is always in my fridge. And then some kind of pesto, curry paste, tomato paste, something like that. And then coconut milk, canned coconut. Oh,

Katie: 36:20

yes.

Unknown: 36:21

I always have those. Those are big ones for me. So

Amy: 36:24

I never use coconut milk. I don't even know what to do with it. Oh,

Katie: 36:27

it's like soups. hurries, like all right. Oh, my goodness.

Unknown: 36:31

I've got a number of recipes on my website, but one I'm going to look up. Yeah, so one of my actually a recipe for when I did a little bit of private shopping when I was just starting at Martha and when I was in culinary school, and I would make this pasta that is it's a spicy fusilli pasta with tomato free, but you're actually using coconut milk so it's dairy free. And you combine tomato paste with coconut milk. Like you cannot taste any hint of coconut is just a really luscious, creamy like nibble of vodka but healthier, delicious. You know,

Amy: 37:08

and I never use tomato paste. I always just use like a sauce. But I feel like a paste is probably like a better texture, right?

Unknown: 37:15

It's that mommy, it's concentrated flavors. So those are those like secret weapons kind of I call them that I have on hand it is like flavor, flavor flavor. It's really complex. All of the work is done for you. I make these coconut spice chickpeas using tomato paste, some spices, some coconut milk, chickpeas, sorbet over rice over cauliflower rice, so good. And then the other night, it was one of those days where just you know, work was insane. I got home at like 530 The kids had eaten already. So that that was helpful, but I literally made Oh, I had lentils in the fridge from the night before. I cooked two fried eggs and olive oil and then like a big heap of kimchi. And that was made. And I was like, Oh, good. I was so happy. You know, like you don't, you can still eat really well, with really minimal time, if you just know how to put things together. And so that's what I'm learning.

Katie: 38:15

Affordable. Also, like all the stamp staples, rather that you just said are super affordable. I know so many people say oh so expensive to eat healthy. And I know. That's not true. Everything you just says you get rent prices.

Unknown: 38:29

Yeah, very affordable. And that's really important to me with my content in particular is that I am I really want to be I want as many people making these recipes as possible. So I am always like, if you don't have this, use this, if you don't have this use this, like I try and make it so that things are very, very accessible to people because not everyone lives in a community where number one they can afford it. Number two, they've got these specialty stores that carry stuff, right like most of the stuff, Walmart, like you know,

Amy: 39:02

so you know, we love your hungry lady salad series that we like went down the rabbit hole watching them because first of all the salads look incredibly amazing. And second of all, they look like fairly easy to me. So I like watching those videos because I'm like, okay, that's like a thing to have. And then you can eat that over several days. So how did the inspo for that come out? And those on imagining are super popular and like on your channels?

Unknown: 39:24

Yeah, yeah, it's been. It's been really amazing. I mean, that series, I so I posted a soup. It was and I'll never forget because I had I hit a million followers on Tik Tok January 8 of 1.7. So it's all pretty much been because

Amy: 39:44

like January 8, like a month ago this year, yeah.

Katie: 39:47

Oh, wow. It's amazing. Working somebody having more. Congrats.

Unknown: 39:51

Yeah, and I mean, I think I have like 60,000 followers on Instagram, and now I have like 130 And it's so in four weeks. So Clearly, like, one thing that I've really learned is, I think a lot of the success that I've had is because I really shifted my focus to, like really listening to my community, you know, and I tell a lot of content creators, my friends, and you know, marketing in this way, like people will tell you what they want to see from you, you just have to be listening. Because I used to have this whole content plan. These are the recipes I'm going to make and Baba and I had a whole plan for January, and all of these recipes that I had either already made and shot and are still ready to go or not. And I throw it all out the window because I'm like, the way that this one salad resonated with people I called it The Hungry lady salad. It's a kale chop salad with like a lemon tahini dressing. And people were going crazy over it, they loved the name. And I was like, there's really something here. And and so I just was like, this needs to be a series. And you had posted like, 10 episodes so far. And yeah, and I have actually shot one this morning. So I mean, I can make salads all day, like I yeah, I am like very much about like, what are you? What am I adding to my plate rather than what I'm taking away? Like, I love this feeling of like abundance in my life. And it really, like especially entering this month that is like the month of like deprivation, January where everyone's like, wait, I need to do that, like, let's look at it in a little bit of a different way. I have personally gotten a ton of food freedom from viewing food that way, you know, really just focusing on, like, what makes me happy? What are how can I add more color, more texture, more interest? Rather than like taking it away? You know that the perspective of lack and restriction is not one that serves me very well.

Amy: 42:04

I think a lot of Yeah, and I think your salads too, in that series. They're very hardy. So I was looking at them. I'm like, Okay, I need to make because they're not just like, oh, having this little salad. I'm gonna be starving mean they're like, a full on meal. I mean, super hearty so and they're, yeah, I, I they're all like, Look, I

Unknown: 42:21

know, I need them. I just

Amy: 42:24

watched them, like, oh my god, I have to make this immediately. Katie, you can do like a salad off and try to make it better.

Unknown: 42:33

It's been amazing. And it really has. Again, just like really helped me pronounce my mission further of just getting people excited about food, not taking ourselves so serious, adding a whole bunch of stuff to our plate, eating with huge spoon, you know, just the whole concept of like, what it means to eat like a lady and what you know what it means to eat healthy, and it's, it's fun.

Katie: 42:59

And I really love your approach to it. And you know how you're saying, like, switching the focus from restriction and everything. Some people might look at you and think like, oh, you can eat anything you you know, like, you're one of those girls, but you actually lost 25 pounds. And you've been very vocal about this on social media, getting the way you love and the way that you promote and share and everything. Tell us a little bit about that journey.

Unknown: 43:25

Yeah, so I do, I've talked about this a little bit on social, I don't talk about it often not for any reason in particular. I also think that right now, we're in a very sensitive world. And so anything having to do in inevitably, I get tons of comments with like, you know, that like accusing me of promoting diet, culture, you know, all of that stuff. So, it's a, you know, it's not a narrative that I talk about a lot. But yeah, I mean, I was I was a good 2025 pounds heavier. Yeah, like a year ago, then or a year and a half ago, than I am now. And I think in a lot of ways, my my passion for food never left, just like in the absence of creating food, I just ate food and ate. And so, you know, it was nice to be able to redirect my passion a bit into, you know, creating food as well. But, um, yeah, it really started with that mentality of what can I add to my life and, and it's been very, very, very rewarding. I get messages every day. I mean, dozens of messages a day from people that you know, have said like, You've helped me look at healthy eating a different way. I've lost this amount of weight. Like, I don't really ever talk about calories. I don't really, like ever talk about that stuff. Because for me When you just really start falling in love with like beautiful real food like hearty food, interesting food, that that that stuff like sorted itself out. I didn't have to go that route. I'm not saying that that's the way it is for everyone. But from what I'm hearing, I'm not alone in that. Yeah, but

Amy: 45:22

when you say when you say adding, so you're obviously like not creating an eating more. So when you're when you kind of started creating and lost weight, and obviously, it probably wasn't intentional. It's just because you probably were in the creative mode. And that's sitting around like we all were during the pandemic eating. But when you're adding, so you're saying because I love that that's really a great way to think about it, because I never thought about it that way. Like what am I adding? When you say that? You mean in the sense of like, what am I adding that can be more nutritious? Like, am I adding another might add like something to fill you up? More? Like explain that theory? A little bit?

Unknown: 45:58

Yes, yeah. So when I look at what I'm adding, like when I'm creating a salad, for instance, right, like so, I am always looking at like, Okay, here's the base of it. And here, maybe a couple of other things that are pretty normal to put on it. What like cucumber, tomato, like chirp has has a place there for sure. But like that's a pretty boring salad, not something I'm going to be excited to eat every day. And if you love food, the way that I love food, I need to be excited about what I'm eating. And so I'm going to be excited to be eating an amazing new haven pizza or delicious croissant, like that's gonna make me excited. So I need to come up with stuff that is as exciting as that. And so that is really about layering in textures and colors. And, you know, understanding I talked about this a good amount in my videos like understanding the yin and the yang of a great run, like how the sweetness plays off of something that's acidic, and how the creaminess plays off of something, you know. So how different elements of the salad make the other element more pronounced.

Amy: 47:13

Yeah, and it's probably just experimentation to like, I'm just not experimental because I'm like, oh, maybe that won't taste good. And then whatever. Katie actually taught me that though, when she's making a salad, she does that, where she'll just like, go through the pantry be like, oh, what else can I add? Let me add like some cheese. Let me have some nuts. Let me and so I sort of I learned from her like to throw like nutritional yeast in the salad, like, give it a little bit of like, of that texture. So anyway, yeah, it's good to hear that. It's a great way to think about really anything that you're making, like what can you add to make it more? You know, yummy and nutritious. And I love that. Yeah. Okay, so we could talk all day. There's so much more I think to talk about, we probably have to have you on for around two, because there's so many like, there's so many hacks who want to know, let's get to dessert quickly. Like what are your favorite swaps for making healthy dessert? Because I definitely have a sweet tooth and I'm always looking for a yummy dessert.

Unknown: 48:07

Yeah, for sure. And I have dessert every single night like I have. I my freezer is filled with cookies, brownies. blondies. Like, if I don't have bags. So I am with you. So a couple of things. So I mean, I have the fudgy avocado brownies that one of my most in my clothes. Yeah, those look amazing. Those are really, really fun and really big and great. I love to make like chocolate puddings and chocolate mousse is with tofu. It gets a lot of volume and creaminess to the chocolate mousse. And I would never know that it was in there. Sometimes I'll do like a roasted sweet potato mashed sweet sweet potato. I'll make the chocolate mousse out of that. So yeah, so those are those are the big ones for me. And then I have these vegan chocolate chip cookies that I just love and they're really delicious. I'll be posting the recipes soon. So good. Yeah, yeah, it's really just a matter of stepping back and asking yourself like What purpose does this ingredient serve in the dish? And what can replicate that? And and it takes practice to know that but

Katie: 49:20

I need your chocolate chip cookie recipe because that is my all time favorite dessert and I can't eat eggs. So I need that.

Unknown: 49:25

Oh, this is it. I've been I'm still like perfecting it because it's very temperamental. Sometimes it spreads too much. Sometimes it doesn't, which is fine for me because I'm just eating them. But I haven't shared it yet. So I'm like it's not perfect, but I will share with you and maybe it'll be good for you to give me feedback too.

Katie: 49:42

Okay, great. All right. Well, tell us quickly about your ebook because that's so exciting. When did that opportunity come about and

Unknown: 49:51

Well, it's interesting too, because I just submitted my finished my proposal for an actual cookbook yesterday. Awesome. Yeah. So yeah, my literary agents sent it out to publishers last night. So that is like, very exciting. It's so exciting that when this when all of this happened in January, I had like three publishers email me directly, like, we want to do a hungry lady. cookbook. It's not going to be bad. Exactly. But that'll definitely be the tone and the element of it. So yeah, recipe development, it at my core is like what I love to do. It is my favorite thing in the world. I just would create recipes all day, every day, if I could. So I wanted a place where I could, I could package things in a more structured way. So many people have been asking for cookbooks and cookbooks take a while to produce, there's a you know, it's a whole thing. So it was a way for me to just easily get something up for people. And then when I started seeing photos on Instagram of like, you know, people cooking and they have like, bound together all of the pages in like a binder. And I'm like, because they're like, basically like, Oh my God, it was really funny. I'm like these four people. They're, like, printed out and they're, like, laminating it. And I'm like, they're like, it's like a DIY cookbook. Yeah, it that is on the horizon.

Amy: 51:15

Very cool. And if you think about it, you're tick tock and Instagram is basically like a virtual cookbook, because cookbook, because I tend to find recipes that way. And just watch the videos and do them because it's so much easier for me to like visually see it than to like read through the whole recipe. So yeah, that's greater. Awesome. So we're going to get into our rap session was just some fun questions we like to ask every guest so what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack? Hmm, wellness or

Unknown: 51:41

beauty hat. So I will say two things. First thing is not a hack, but I do I do TM, I do Transcendental Meditation. And that has like, changed my life. And as far as my skin goes, because I get a lot of questions about my skin have gorgeous skin. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. I did not always but um, I put some three main things so I stopped washing my face in the morning. So I don't wash my face at all morning first, so when I am done with my shower, I do like a minute of ice cold water, which takes some getting used to but I think that's really good for my skin and it just wakes me up. It's like good for your endorphins. It also kind of calms you down at the same time. And then the other thing is after my moisturizer at night I do like a pea size of Vaseline all over my face. Oh yeah,

Amy: 52:38

yeah, that's that's so funny. We we had this other we have this tick tock or on the healthy Heuga who does all these beauty and wellness stuff and she told us that she puts vaseline or Aquaphor over her face and like it gets everything Yeah,

Unknown: 52:51

it makes a difference. Yeah,

Katie: 52:53

yeah. Are you literally like dipping your face in a bowl of ice?

Unknown: 52:57

No, so I finished with ice cold water in the shower shower.

Katie: 53:02

Oh, gotcha. Okay, I misunderstood that entirely. Yeah.

Unknown: 53:05

All right. I mean you can definitely like if you just put an ice cube run it all over your face. It's amazing for your skin. I just like yeah, I have an ice roller freezer in my yet. I could do that too. Yeah, weird. Keep it in the freezer and then you go from your bathroom to the freezer.

Amy: 53:22

I keep it in the fridge or the freezer Yeah, and I just grab it like sometimes if I just go downstairs I'll just and I have like a little freezer in my or little fridge in my room in my bedroom in my bathroom like a mini one and so I just use it there.

Unknown: 53:34

Yeah, one of the I need to get one of those. I've been thinking about that. So maybe it's

Amy: 53:38

Yeah, I don't know. I mean I've heard though that doing cold water in the shower a lot of people a lot of like wellness people say that. I don't know if I could stomach egg but I heard it like totally get you going. Yes, it does. Okay,

Katie: 53:52

cool. Are five minutes low. You just got out of the shower and dried off your ice shower. And Uber just alerted you they are five minutes away. What is your quick beauty routine to get out the door like your go to is your holy grail but you're gonna throw

Unknown: 54:05

on to get a car? Yeah, so So the first thing that I'm going to do is probably like use a little bit of dry shampoo. So like Korean or whatever. And then I probably won't do anything to my hair. I'll just like judge it up a bit. And then as far as bass goes, like the biggest things for me are, I've been loving. I've been I love the milk primer. So it's like, you know Milk Makeup the clean Yeah, I love that. It's not like silicone based. You don't feel like it's like clogging my pores. And then I've been using the Ilia super serum. Yes. I have it tinted serum. Yes. Yeah. And it's just like it's light coverage. So if I'm like running out the door, it's like nothing crazy. It always has SPF makeup on. It has SPF. So it's like you're covered. I would throw on some concealer for sure. A little bit of bronzer probably and then Like never go without mascara Thrive mascara is my favorite thing in the entire world.

Amy: 55:06

I haven't tried that I keep seeing it online, it is

Unknown: 55:09

the best. I also think my eyelashes are better because I stopped curling them like I haven't curled them in a long time, like probably year and a half or something like that. So that is really essential for me. Nice.

Katie: 55:21

What did you say thrive?

Unknown: 55:24

Mascara? T h r i v e. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah, so yeah, I

Amy: 55:31

see so many videos about that. Great. I'll have to try it because the mascara that I use is the Ilia mascara. It's like the I forget which one it is like the full, whatever. And it's great, but I'm always looking for a good one. So that's that's good to know. And let Yeah, and last question of our rap session is how do you maintain your daily nirvana? I know you said you do TM so I'm sure that's a big one. But any others?

Unknown: 55:54

TM is really is it's like an essential for me. I do it first thing in the morning it. Yeah. So I would say TM for sure. And then also I wake up very early. And I think that that is really essential for me and setting my day because my kids start to wake up by 636 3645. So if I don't have some time before that I'm in a funky headspace like I'm a sensitive creature. I'm an empath, I tend to take on the energy around me if I don't like ground myself in something pretty significant first thing in the morning, it is not good for anybody involved. So I wake up and usually like 430 Wow. Which is, but I just wake up, I just wake up. Now. I mean, now I literally just wake up and I do my TM, I do like a 20 minute workout. I get a little bit of work done. And by the time they wake up, it's all behind me.

Katie: 56:57

Yeah, that's the same. I don't do that much. But I have to if I don't have

Amy: 57:02

an hour to do that.

Katie: 57:05

Like right before the I need an hour before anybody in my house is awake. And even when my parents are here, my mom with me to have the coffee. I'm like,

Unknown: 57:13

so I need my time, my time and when people act like I'm doing something that is you know, so virtuous by waking up so early. I'm like, I'm doing it so that you don't see me on the news, like I'm doing like I'm doing is so that I am like a good member of society like not for any reason that you should be, you know, like, I just I require a lot to just be steady. You know, that's not my I'm not aware life like a loose garment kind of gal. So I need to I need to send it again.

Amy: 57:45

Yeah, so important. Love that. You love that. All right. Well,

Katie: 57:49

cat I appreciate you so much. You. This was so fun. And we for sure need to do a second round.

Amy: 57:55

Okay, so, cat at the end of the show, I like to just one of us will talk about kind of what we're loving lately. And I'm just curious to know if you know this, so we were just talking about desserts. So I had my new favorite dessert, which I found didn't make it but I found it at Trader Joe's which I was saying on another episode. I don't go to a lot but when I go I somehow sometimes always find like a fun thing. So I found these I've a picture on my phone. I don't know if you guys can see it. But it's the Trader Joe's vegan cookies and cream, vanilla bean bond bonds. And they are made with coconut non dairy frozen dessert. And so it's a coconut non dairy frozen dessert enrobed in a chocolatey coating. They are so good. They're these little bond bonds. And they're non dairy, which is great. So you don't feel like and they're not like you know, you don't get all the dairy side effects. And they're so yummy. And they're really not that bad. Not that we need to go through the calories or the fat or the sugar, but they're pretty low and all of those things. So I happen to find them lately. It's my new favorite things. Are they they're frozen, actually, I'm literally in like frozen section cookies and cream vanilla bean bonbons.

Unknown: 59:04

I'm telling you there's so indulgent knows, like 20 minutes, so I'm going to pack them.

Amy: 59:08

I want to hear what you think about them because I had them and then my my husband loves them. My parents were over recently they went to Trader Joe's and bought them. They're so yummy. And they're just like a good little treat. And that's

Unknown: 59:20

for my kids too. Because they're like, they're not enormous. We're like the ice cream is melting. All right, and they taste like ice cream.

Amy: 59:26

I mean, they're so good. I love that. So really Yeah, take a look. Give us your expert opinion on what you think of it. So that's my favorite thing I'm loving this week. Yeah,

Katie: 59:37

we had a lot of fun talking to you and any smarter.

Amy: 59:41

Yeah, thank you and congrats on all of your success.

Katie: 59:44

Where can our listeners find you you just want to mention

Unknown: 59:47

it Yep. So they can find me on Instagram. I'm Cat underscore can underscore Cook, tick tock. It's cat can cook and then my website is www dot Kathleen ashmore.com

Amy: 1:00:00

Yeah fantastic. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that word please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 37 - Meet Entrepreneur And Drybar Co-Founder Alli Webb, On Keeping It Real And Paying It Forward (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 37 Meet Entrepreneur And Drybar Co-Founder Alli Webb, On Keeping It Real And Paying It Forward.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Welcome to the show Nirvana sisters family. So today is a really, really special episode for both of us. But today we're talking to someone who has been so inspirational to me, and really a role model to me whether she knows it or not. But anyone who knows me well knows that I've always looked up to you, Alli. And just from from, from, from a business sense, from personal sense, your honesty and transparency. And also, you have two boys were the same age like we just have a lot of similarities. And so I'm so excited to have you on the show. And just thank you for spending time with us today. We have Alli Webb on the show, who I'm sure most of you know, but if you don't, she is the co founder of dry bar, the founder of dry bar. She's also now the co founder of squeeze, which I'm so excited about because we have an opening up in Bethesda near me. We interviewed Britt on the show a couple months ago, and she was amazing. We loved her. Okay, humans, the future face to face talk therapy, and Beckett and quill. And we also interviewed Meredith Quill a couple weeks ago, and we're always gonna vote because we love our necklaces, we got our earrings. We're all we're all judged. And we're so excited to talk to you. But I think the reason why I have been so inspired by you over all of these years and like I've spoken Katie's ear off about you and your background, all of this stuff is because I think when when Drybar launched I was it was like, I think right before I moved out of New York, and it was the first time it opened my eyes up to like, oh my god, like, if I thought of this idea, I could have opened this, like, this is actually something because I always was into hair because I have curly hair and my whole life. It's like, you know, yep, doing a million things to try to make it look better. Like, there was this. Salon Davishon in New York, I don't know if you remember back in the day that like curly hair, and they had a whole system. And I was like one of the first people there. And I was always talking to people there. So it was like really into hair and beauty and all this stuff. I work in Marketing, but that's a different story. But anyway, I just thought the concept was so simple and groundbreaking to me and the branding and the experience and the whole vibe of it. And, and the bigger meaning of course behind it, which is you walk out you feel confident, you feel happy. And the whole thing, that whole experience does that for you. And so like it sort of opened my eyes to like, wow, like, I could open something one day for myself, I've been in corporate America forever, and it could actually be in business. And it could be something that I'm passionate about and love because they think prior to that you think of opening a business as like, I don't know, like an accountant or a lawyer like nothing that you actually would be interested in. So anyway, it's always opened my eyes and since then I've followed you, and seeing your, your career and all of your ups and downs and just, I've always been so inspired and like you're the one person that everybody knows, I like just have a total girl crush on because you just You mean a lot to me. And so, thank you, thank you again. So yeah, that's

Alli: 3:18

it, say that and it's nice. It's nice to hear. It's always great to hear that kind of stuff. And but mostly like the fact that you know, my story, my journey has resonated with you and inspired you to you know, get the confidence to go out and do your own thing, which is really, I'd say where I am now in my life. You know, I'm I'm starting to write my second book, I just got a book deal, which is like such a big deal adulation, exciting to me, thank you, and, and I'm excited to really, you know, write about that. And like this kind of, like, if I did it, you can do it story because, um, you know, I'm not your typical, I mean, I don't think there is a typical anymore. And I think it's evolved so much. I feel like, you know, we first started dry bar, and, you know, entrepreneurs weren't as accessible as they are now especially, like female entrepreneurs. And just to your point about, you know, companies were like, big conglomerates and nobody knew who ran them and no, you couldn't reach anybody there, you were never talking to the CEO, like nothing like that ever happened. And, you know, I happen to come in, at the, you know, somewhat of the forefront of like entrepreneurs, you know, being accessible and available. And, you know, I've taken it to pretty extreme with, you know, being pretty open and transparent with things that are going on in my life. And you know, that's been an interesting evolution and I I often like kind of ponder why, you know, talk about so much of that stuff, but But hearing what you said and things like that, and the feedback that I do get so much is like, it is this like, you know, you're talking about it. It's relatable to me, whether it's like building a business or how you raise money or going through a divorce, or whatever it is. Yeah, I feel I feel really compelled and drawn and to this, like, you know, be, you know, share what you know, and pay it forward and all of that. So, so it's really nice to hear. So thank you.

Amy: 5:21

Of course, of course, before we get into it, though, I do want to take a step back, because in our show, in the beginning, we always like to do a nirvana of the week or day or whatever. It may be just a little something that sparked joy that made you feel good that you kind of like that put a smile on your face this week. So Katie, I'll flip over to you first to give us your nerve. Okay, great. Well,

Katie: 5:40

thanks. Well, Alli, first of all, you know, I'm so thrilled that you're here. So thank you. My Nirvana, it happened yesterday, it was this weird little moment, I was speaking to this woman that I'm thinking about doing some personal work with. And she is a type of coach and I had to have like full disclosure about my health issues with her. She was the first adult that I've ever spoken to, that grew up with a sick mother that had autoimmune issues and had challenges and was a child and had to have a sick parent, which is what my daughter's go through. And I got emotional talking about it, because I've literally never spoken to someone that was that. And she said to me that she thinks that it made her very resilient and very strong and more empathetic. And like, you know, she's this wildly successful, fabulous woman, and she accredits a lot of that adversity as a young child, to helping her gain those qualities. So that was a little nirvana for me, because I never thought about it from that point. You know, we always think we're screwing up our children all day every day. So yeah. Oh, we are.

Amy: 6:54

So I like that. Yeah. I never thought about

Katie: 6:56

that. It was it was nice to hear. So that Yeah. So Amy, what about you? What was yours?

Amy: 7:01

Well I have two. So the first one was just as Katie knows, I have time to myself on Saturday. No, Alli I saw this on your Instagram stories recently about talking about time to yourself and I treasure that's so much like I love being alone and just having time to myself just to regroup because then you just come back and you feel refreshed. So I've been stuck in the house because of COVID yada, yada. I haven't been anywhere. So I have to like run errands and return things which so I did some shopping, I returned some things, walked around, did a little shopping around some stores. And I'm like, oh my god, this is so amazing to be my I felt like I was on vacation. My final letter. I'm like texting Katie. I'm like, oh my god, this is so amazing depth time to myself. So that was great. But really, more importantly, a really cute moment. Yesterday, I had in the car with my son who's 14, almost 15 I have two boys like you alley. One's 15. And one's almost 15 and one's 12, almost 13. And we were driving in the car is taking him to his girlfriend's house. And he was like, you know, in a good mood. And so like when I catch him in a good mood, it's like amazing, because we'll talk to me. And car time is always the best. So he was just talking to me the whole time in the car and like just telling me a million things and talking about when he's older this and college and just literally talk to me the entire time we're in the car, which is so nice. So usually he's like quiet or says one thing. So that was so sweet. And then the cutest thing was, I'm dropping it off dropping him off at his girlfriend's house. And he looks at me before he opens before he leaves the car. And he goes, Mom, do I look good. And I was like, it's cute. You look great. I love you. But it was he never does stuff like that. So you could tell he was just like, excited to see her. And it was just like, so heartwarming and sweet. And I just drove away with like, the biggest smile on my face. So that was my happy moment of the week. What about you, Alli?

Alli: 8:40

Um, those are such good moments. And I feel like I can I can share in both of those with you guys. I mean, you know, Katie, going back to what you were saying about this woman that you met and how it build resiliency in her, you know, it is interesting, and I was joking that we all mess up our children, but I think we do. And I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean, I think it's like, we just, it's just we're just like we're doing the best we can as parents, our parents did the best they can like I can point to lots of things that my parents did that were like, you know, I wish quote unquote, they had done different Not really, but in the moment, you know, and I remember when I was going through, you know, my divorce and my financial advisor, ironically, of all people at the time was like, you know, because I was so worried like that I was gonna fuck up my kids because I was putting them through a divorce and our divorce wasn't. I mean, it was it was it was really rough internally, but we kept it pretty like smooth on the outside for my boys. And I remember him saying to me, similar to what you just said that it was. It was his parents were divorced when he was young, and it was so character building and it made him so strong and now I'm not advocating for divorce by any means, but I do think that there is like, we're so worried about putting our kids through anything hard because we want us to shelter that, I mean, it's just our natural, like motherly instinct to want to shelter our children and shelter them from bad and evil and harm and all of that stuff. But like, it doesn't really prepare them. And, you know, I mean, I had a fair amount of sheltering. And I had, you know, and I didn't have anything really crazy to happen to happen to me. But I do think that there is like, some resiliency and strength in that. So, I know, I just really relate to what you're saying. And I bet your kids will end up being really strong as a result, you know, and I think mine are too as a result of going through divorce. And, you know, and they and, and, you know, they see me so much happier on the other side of it. So like, while we were in like the mud and trekking through to get to the other side, it seemed like, Oh, God, are we ever coming back from this? And we have, and it's really beautiful now. So anyways, um, but as far as Nirvana moments, I mean, you know, I love that, by the way, and it's a good it's a good reminder to like, talk about the things that, you know, I have this like, Yeah, right here, this like Five Minute Journal thing that I write in pretty regularly. And it asks you really awesome questions, which I like, because it's like an interactive thing, and which I like. But I, you know, this this weekend, Adrian, and I went to where we're going to get married, nice in May. And, um, you know, we were doing a walkthrough and our wedding planner was there. And it was like, everything really, like, is working out and going well, and it's like, in a sea of like, shit that's been going wrong for like, what feels like, for so long. It was just so nice. And I remember feeling like, Oh, my God, like, I'm just such a, like, everything's wrong. We have to fix everything, like, where's the problem, it's just my nature. The fact that it was like, everything was pretty smooth. And we had, you know, a moment where we were standing where we're going to get married, and a moment where, you know, my boys are going to actually walk me down the aisle. And we like sit, we were kind of walking through and we were standing we kind of stood where my boys will like, pick me up and walk me down the aisle. And I got so emotional. And I was like, Oh, my God. Like, some real emotion about the wedding hit me and which is just like a weird place to be. Because, you know, this is my second wedding. And it's like, it is just feel a little weird to be having a wedding again. Even though it's, you know, a natural progression. So anyways, that was like a moment that really hit me. That was really,

Katie: 12:32

that's great. I love that. Yeah. Thanks. Sweet.

Amy: 12:34

Yeah. Yeah, congratulations on your wedding. We're so happy for you. I feel like you know, we watch the journey of everything going on. I feel like I just there were so many raw emotions and like to see you come out with an amazing guy and actually heard the podcast episode when you met those that matchmaking company I remember the episode from raising the bar. And I'm just so happy you found such an amazing guy. He just seems so intuitive, but evolved introspective. Yeah, like introspective. It's very, my husband's like that, too. And it's it's an incredible quality. And it really brings out so much more. So that's awesome. And when you're getting married again,

Alli: 13:13

we're getting married in May. Nice. Yeah. And it's like, it felt like, you know, we had like, no logging is longer than my first marriage anyways, and, or my first engagement, and it was a felt like it was so far away. And I can't believe it's less than five months now. It's like, you know, we have so much going on that these next five months are gonna fly by and yeah, excited. And it's like, you know, it's like, it's a little, it feels like a do over and a lot of ways. And, you know, to really be planning this thing exactly how I want it exactly how we want it and not like, you know, unfortunately, my mom passed away about six years ago. So she's not in it, which is a bummer. But I mean, it's just, it's also like we're paying for it. We're doing everything exactly how we want it. We're making it exactly what we want. I'm you know, it's not

Amy: 14:00

there's some tradition of all the people there you want. Yeah, it's awesome. You know, we're

Alli: 14:03

Yeah, where my first wedding was like, all my parents friends, which is awesome, right? They gave us a lot of money. It's a different, totally different vibe. And, um, you know, and I think also just based on like, how last couple of years have been to be having everybody in one room together. Feels like, you know, super special. So,

Amy: 14:24

yeah, for sure. Special. Um, I see you got to see kind of a preview this weekend and got to like, take it in for a second because you're probably running a mile a minute. And so to have that reflection moment, so nice. So nice. Awesome. Okay, so we're gonna give you some quick fire questions, get into some stuff. So I guess I gave a little bit of your background and I'll probably give some in a pre record. So just speaking about your mentors. I mean, I think a lot of people look to you as their inspiration and like mentorship Who were your mentors. I know you've talked about your brother a lot, but who kind of gave you guidance and still gives you guidance and who you're getting inspiration from lately. Yeah, I

Alli: 15:00

mean, it's really all over the place. I mean, I, you know, I'd say like, first and foremost was largely my parents and my mom, as you know, growing up as like, you know, in, in, in a family where my parents had their own business. And, you know, I mean, going back to her saying about our parents and the things they are doing that we think they should be, like, you my parents worked, I came home from school, my parents were rarely there. And I used to always joke around that I wanted to cookies and milk mom, because like, my dad, you know, and I was like, why aren't you that for me. And when I was little, it really bothered me and I was I got older, I learned at the older and older I got, the more I realized that like, I, I watched my parents work really hard for what we had, which, you know, took a long time. And, and it, you know, I don't even think I was aware of it, it was building such a strong work ethic in me. And I really realized that once I went out into the world, and I, you know, I went out into the world, and I was like, you know, getting my first jobs, and I was treating every job like it was my own. And I was, you know, and I was like, what, like, what, where did this come from, and I realized it was really from what as I got older, and I understood it more was like, from watching my parents and how hard they worked. And, and they just always instilled that in us. And I worked for my parents when I was young, too. And so, you know, my dad and my dad, my parents always had such a great work ethic, they worked really hard, but they also had this like, you know, kind of work hard play hard mentality where I like my parents was like, if you do it, you know, you you're supposed to do in your responsibilities. We, you know, did you can, you can leave when you want or, you know, you know, have a little more freedom, just do your job and do it supposed to be done. And I think always it versus like, people be sitting out at us from here to here, I was like, there was a flow of like, you can kind of as long as you're doing what you need to be done. And that and that, that attitude, I think instills a stronger worth that work ethic of wanting to do something versus having to do something, you know. So I would say, you know, for me, it really started there. And certainly my brother along the way, you know, has been a strong inspiration for me and mentor for me and, and then I think it's like varied over the years, you know, from like, people like Jenna gurwitch, who was is the founder of Laura Mercier, cosmetics. And she, you know, introduced me to some really great people and taught me some really great lessons about building a product line early on. And, you know, like, I don't know if you know, who Wendy zonder is, but she's the founder of Urban Decay cosmetics. And we had, yeah,

Amy: 17:36

I know that name.

Alli: 17:37

Yeah, we had the same financial guys, the same private equity guys. And so, you know, she, she was, like, helpful in like, bridging a gap when we were raising money, and I was learning how to, like, deal with private equity guys, and, you know, I feel like, just like friends and relationships and, you know, mentors, like, they come into your lives in the time where, like, you need them. And it's like, you know, just like anybody else. It's like, sometimes you just need somebody to help you with this thing that you're going through, and then you don't anymore, you know, and I think that's like, kind of the nature of mentors and people who are inspiring to you. And, you know, and then there's been people like, you know, like Whitney Wolfe, who's the, you know, founder of Bumble who has become, you know, a friend of mine who I don't really talk to you all that much anymore, but I did when I was ironically, when I was going through my divorce. She was really there for me, like unexpectedly and really helped me and like, Maria Shriver is someone I've always looked up to, and when I'm not like a big I listen to a lot of books. I like audiobooks now, but I never I can't sit and read I don't have the patience. I get time. But I can listen and walk and I'm very happy. I love you orderly, yeah, that way. But I happen to read a lot of Maria Shriver's books, when I was a kid, I was just really inspired by her and it was very serendipitous for me as I got older, and I, she invited me to, she interviewed me in the early days of dry bar, and she, Catherine, her daughter, like stumbled across dry bar and loved it and told me about it. And Maria called me and was just like this, like love fest, and we became friends. And, you know, and kind of intermittently and then once when I was also going through my divorce, and you know, I didn't have my mom and she just really was like, buried, like, she's very tough love if you know her, she's like, no bullshit, and like, won't do it. And, and I kind of needed that, you know, I mean, I remember being on the phone with her one morning, and she was like, basically, like, get the fuck out of bed. What are you doing? You know, and so, you know, she was helpful for me in that way. And, you know, so I don't know, I could probably go on and on about the different. I've been really fortunate and lucky to have some really amazing women around me in my life that have, you know, inspired me and helped me and guided me through different, you know, phases. And, you know, I think all of my I would, I would say it's safe to say almost all of my friends are founders, entrepreneurs or, you know, running big companies are at the helm of big companies and you know, we all lean on each other from time to time So I feel like I'm I have a pretty big network of women that I can call on when I'm like, need help with something confused about something you'd bounce something off. So, yeah, they come in all shapes and sizes. Yeah.

Amy: 20:11

Yeah, that's so true. And it's really the thing about your parents actually, I was listening to it, because I have always worked as well. And like, barely, I mean, took off maternity leave, but like, have always worked. And I always struggle with that guilt of like, should I stayed home when my kids were younger, and like, I was never the milking cookies, mom. And I've always had, you know, a corporate job. And now I'm starting this and now I'm like, straddling both worlds and really busy but, but the pandemic has actually been like, such a blessing in disguise, because I've been home. Yeah, made me realize, like, oh, I can start my own thing and still work and be with them so much more, but it's your point. I'm also teaching them a work ethic. And they've been to my office and they like see all this stuff and see all these amazing trips I go on. And so it does give them that lens of like, you are card and you do these things. And you know,

Katie: 21:09

as the milk and cookies stay at home mom that doesn't actually make the cookies and put up the milk.

Amy: 21:16

Oh, please, Katie, you're she's an incredible mom.

Katie: 21:18

Yeah, but I can tell you, you know, what I always stress about is oh my gosh, my children aren't seeing me work. They need to I need to show them this great work ethic and all that stuff. So it's, it's just funny, but I love what you're saying about your parents. The work hard play hard thing, because we are household is all about that. And I never thought I never correlated it so much to the passion for for working and getting it done so that you can feel like, alright, I can do whatever I want. I've got it. The world is my oyster. You know, like you said, wanting to do it instead of having to do it is key. It's such a great lesson. Yeah, yeah.

Alli: 21:53

So and I learned that through parenting too, right? It's like, my kids are, you know, a lot like me, I think we're all like this. It's like, if someone's like, forcing you to do it, you're like, fuck that. I don't want to do it. But if someone like allows you to find it, and works, it's like, so true of all the things right? It's like, you can't be forced. It's like, you can't What's the old adage? You can't you can, you know, bring a horse to water, but you can't make a drink. It's like, you can only do so much. And you know, and get resistance. So yeah, it was a good, like, early life lesson for sure. Yeah,

Katie: 22:21

that's great. Now you're alright, so drybar, squeeze, Beckett and Quill, and they've all been like back to back to back to back to back. What have been some of your biggest challenges and like learning curves going through, you know, this journey? I mean, it's a lot starting one after the other after the other? Certainly, there's got to be a couple things that have stood out.

Alli: 22:45

Yeah, I mean, I think it's kind of different for all of them. I mean, with with Drybar, it was like, you know, it was going from, and I'll make this brief, because, you know, it's like 10 years worth of this, but like, going from it being like my baby, my business, me and my brother and like, slowly bringing on more and more people to it becoming this, like massive brand, and needing so much help and not, not being the one making every decision not being at the helm of the company anymore. And, and that transition was really hard for me, you know, and as I look back on it, you know, it was definitely like, a process, you know, that I don't think I was, I could see at the time of like, letting go and learning that, like, you need, I needed really smart people around me who knew lots of things that I didn't know, it's like a very crystal clear lesson, but at the time, it was like, I was a maniac about it, you know, and I and I had a hard time accepting, you know, letting other people do what they were really good at stuff that I didn't know, you know, so it was like, an interesting evolution of, you know, both a personal and professional evolution to like, you know, navigate learning how to be the boss and having to be the person that you, you feel like has to know everything and make every decision to being like, wait a second, I don't have to know everything, and I don't have to make every decision I can use, you know, I can utilize all these people around me and let them you know, feel empowered, and whatever. But then there's like ego, and you're like, No, no, I have to know everything. And no, no, this is my idea. And I have all the answers. And I'm the smartest person in the room, which was never the fucking case. But you you know, you're under this, like, what am I supposed to be doing what people expected me there's, you know, for me, there was no like, you know, there was no guidebook on this, you just kind of made it up as us which, you know, feels very liberating now, but at the time was very stressful. So, you know, I think it was like it was a process and I learned so much as a result and you know, and then I think what was an interesting transition for me was going from like being in the day to day to not being in the day to day to like finding my new role within the company as we grew it and brought on a professional CEO and all these people in the company it expanded so much to them like You know, figuring out where my place was, and then you know, because cam, my ex husband was the creative mastermind, and we had a creative office separate than our, you know, that our we had our main office in Orange County in Irvine. And then we had our creative office in LA. And then once we split, and that was the office I worked out of now I'm like, shit, you know, where do I, what do I do? I'm already not quite as involved as I was, but but not, you know, not completely out. So that was a really hard time for me. And also it was, you know, but it was a really great time, it was such a reinvention. You know, where I were, I was going to divorce and like refi rediscovering myself. And while it seems back to back, I really did have some some time, you know, we were starting to build squeeze, which Brittney who you now know, you know, who, you know, for people listening ran our marketing a dry bar, she, you know, Michael, Michael actually approached me about doing squeeze, when we were still in the, in the thick of it dry bar. And I was like, no, like, I don't have it in me to do that, because I was so burned out by that point. And life was so crazy. And, but Brittany wanted to do it, which we were so grateful for. And she's done a phenomenal job. You know, so I was really grateful I was able to like coast there for a little while, while we were like between and the divorce and then squeeze was happening. And, you know, I did have like a year there where I, you know, I think I led on to it a little bit, but where I was really just like sucking air and just trying to stay above water, while I was like dealing with my personal stuff, which then, you know, on the on the flip side made me a softer person, like probably a better person, you know, a stronger person and all of the things that I, you know, became and then that's kind of when, you know, that was kind of somewhere in the middle of the pandemic, and things were crazy to squeeze. And now we're like, up and running. And we're opening more. And, you know, about a year ago is when I discovered Meredith, and we became friends. And I thought, you know, that there's, there's really something here. And that's been a really fun, like, you know, labor of love kind of project. So they've all happened in this really interesting way. But it's been a lot of like self discovery, and a lot of like, I hate using the term, like lonely at the top. But there is some truth to this, like, I built this business, and we had a lot of success and like, and then and then in like what felt like one fell swoop, my life kind of completely unraveled, and like, what am I doing now? And I've had to like, figure all that out. And I'm grateful for it, you know, and I feel like I've kind of landed on my feet. And I still kind of feel a little like, all over the place, like, what am I doing? And my schedule, and my life is such a mixed bag. It's not it's not. It's not when, you know, I don't do the same thing every day ever. You know, so I'm, you know, and I'm exploring lots of different projects and investments and all sorts of different things now. So I'm, I'm finally at the point where I really like what I'm doing. It just doesn't look like anything like it's ever looked before. So no, I guess it's kind of just rolling with it. And yeah, you know,

Amy: 28:05

you're Yeah. And you're, you're evolving every day. And it's actually I was listening to you. And I was thinking, you know, people that our listeners are entrepreneurs, founders, but also people that work, you know, in corporations or big companies, and a lot of the things you said resonated, because I'm like, kind of on both sides, right? I've had a corporate marketing role for so long, and the things and I've always been very entrepreneurial in the corporate world. And because I've always like come in and had to build something like, build the social media strategy, build the content strategy, because none of that ever existed. So I definitely, there's so many parallels in, you're moving your way and you're navigating, and then you're like, what should I be doing that should not be doing that I don't have as much control as I used to have wait, I used to work on that brand. And they're not doing it the way that I would do it. And, you know, it's there's a lot of comparisons, even though you're in a big company, like Chad, as you grow and evolve and lead. You just learn more and more about yourself what you should be doing, when you shouldn't be doing and like I'm still learning it myself. And I know you're you're starting to impact series, and we're excited to hear about that. I know, that's in a couple of weeks. And I think it sounds like such an amazing experience for people who are starting up if you want to tell us a little bit about that.

Alli: 29:20

Yeah, it is, um, you know, it's so funny. I don't know if I'm just crazy, but I feel like oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That's true. I am doing

Amy: 29:29

that a couple weeks in Nashville.

Alli: 29:32

You're doing too much if you forget about half the things you're doing. I was literally just sending emails about that before this call, anyhow. Yes. So the impact theory was serious was really born out of this, like, you know, a couple of different things like my desire to give back pay it forward. All that stuff is really important to me and and over the years. I mean, that's kind of how, you know, raising the bar started because Michael and I were getting you know, hit up all the time from people who wanting advice about starting a business running and growing and scaling a business. And, and we were that's the podcast was kind of our answer back then to like, get a lot of that information out there. And, you know, since we stopped doing that, you know, and I continue to get, you know, increase from entrepreneurs all the time, we're like, Hey, can we go have coffee? Can we sit down and talk about my business? I'm like, you know, Mike, I don't, my bandwidth is pretty small, like, you know, that's not realistic or scalable. You know, so how do I give back and I've tried, you know, a lot of different ways. And when, when Adrian I met, and he's, you know, he's, he's a founder, he's a coach of like, founders and entrepreneurs and CEOs. And that's like, what he does, like he coaches people like me, you know, so him and I, like, I could have definitely used him like five or six years ago when I was in the throes of it and I've learned so much from him. And there's so many things that I would think about differently now than I did then had, I had someone like that. And ironically, my brother and I used to talk about me getting a coach all the time, which I thought was like, the most ridiculous thing. Now I'm like, oh, it's really I mean, at least a coach, like

Amy: 31:01

I need a coach for work I've been, I needed an executive coach. So I might be calling Adrian Lee,

Alli: 31:06

it's really interesting. I really don't think I understood like what a coach does, and I think there's a lot of people like coaching out there, but he's like, and I always kind of joke around that I'm like, just to kind of tell people like, what they should be doing what to do. And he's like, No, you know, I help them see the things that they are missing, and I help them discover things about themselves. And I'm like, oh, and he certainly done that, for me in a large way on a lot of different things. And anyway, so you know, his his experience with coaching founders, people like me, entrepreneurs, like people that are maniacs and all over the place, and crazy, you know, who are mostly entrepreneurs, you know, putting to bring that together, you know, from his experience and my real world experience into the kind of combine those, you know, that that chocolate and peanut butter combination is seems so great. And so we were like, you know, and we love working together and being together and traveling together. So we're like, how do we combine these two things. And that's kind of how the Impact Theory series was born, like, let's get you let's keep it really small. We only allow up to 20 people in the room, and it's very much a deep dive into whatever's going on. We've done a couple of them now, like what's going on in your business? What's working? What's not working? What are your biggest challenges? What are you struggling with, you know, and, and what's funny is a lot of the people who come tend to come for like, one reason and mandap like dealing with another that they may not have been willing to talk about. And Adrian's just so direct and honest and has this way of like drawing things out of people. So and then I have the experience of like, you know, there's only so many things we go through as entrepreneurs like, you know, staff and scale and raising money. And like all there's like a handful of things that we all kind of deal with. And so I have, you know, I can speak to a lot of that. So and this and this particular impact series, which we're doing for all of them, we're bringing in like other successful entrepreneurs and Jessica Zweig, who has a book simply be I don't know if you guys know her, but she's has a marketing, a personal branding marketing agency, and she actually is doing I've hired her to do stuff for me. And it's been so great. And we've become really good friends. She's kind of CO headlining this with us. This last one, we're doing this next one, we're doing it in Nashville, in February, February 4. And it's just it's super fun to be in a room. It's very vulnerable. It's very honest, if the people are willing to be that way. And usually they are, it's a it's a pretty sizable investment. So it's like it takes you know, you, you really need to want to do the work when you're there. And it's very immersive. And it's super fun. I love it. I feel very connected to the people.

Katie: 33:39

It's really amazing, your, your drive and your desire to give back and to like pay it forward all of these years of grit and hard work that you put in learning as you went along. And you just want to teach it to people. I mean, I think that it's, it's just so admirable. And I mean, obviously that's one of the biggest reasons why, you know, you're one of our role models. It's just really, really cool. Amy and I, we, you know, we are just one day we woke up and like we want to do something, what is it? Okay, let's do a podcast. Alright, so we make this podcast, and it's fine, or we're talking about these really great

Amy: 34:14

people let me interrupt. It wasn't it wasn't "let's do a podcast", okay, it was. I was talking to my husband and I'm like, Katie, and I always have these really great conversations about well being and taking care of herself and she's got an autoimmune and I have vestibular migraines, and she's always researching and people always ask us, like, oh, what should I do for this? And what should I do for this? And like, how do we just talk about it? Like we're talking on the phone and people are listening in so we're like, okay, the podcast is the first way to do that. But that's just the start. And the only reason I'm cutting you off to saying that Katie is because it is it is. There is something special about Katie nice conversations they think and what we've been told is that similar to you, like we have a very real authentic way we're not like editors talking about wellbeing and beauty and all this stuff, like, it's more, we want to make it more approachable and not that intimidating. Sort of like, you know, your business has been right. Like, it's like, the accessible luxury. So we're like the attainable real like we really get into it. We ask all these like, silly questions, we'll have a doctor on the show be like, wait, what does this mean when you get, you know? So my point is, is I was just saying, Katie before we got on is like, my husband was saying, like, you guys go deeper than like, the typical well being and like, Don't you guys don't sell yourself short. And that's why I'm cutting you off. Katie just say like, it's not right that like Katie has, she's, she's a really incredible researcher. And she just knows so much about health and well being that I was like, You need to be telling people and I need to tell people my size. So anyway, sorry.

Katie: 35:53

The whole point is that we you know, we have like this young entrepreneurial spirit and us and we to be able to look to people like yourself to learn the ropes. It's invaluable. I mean, it really, it really is, because here we are, we're like spinning our wheels all the time. What do we do next? How do we get to the next week? They're

Amy: 36:10

like, what? 10,000 ideas and how do we put it all together? And anyway, I digress. Yeah. And your pot, the girlfriends and business. We love to because that I Katie and I said back episodes to each other. Because I'm like, listen to this. This is so helpful. Like the one the other day I forgot it was Lori talking to. I can't remember her name. But she was talking about like the different retailers like what kind of business you are the three R's. And that was so helpful. I was like, Oh, that like really helps us understand, like, where we fit in the Mac. So anyway, how's the podcast going? And all of that, is that

Alli: 36:45

it's yeah, it's good. I mean, it is I definitely, you know, challenged in time. Like, I

Amy: 36:51

know, you guys do a lot. It's like three episodes a week. I don't do all of it.

Alli: 36:55

We do a couple of them. Now I've had to like, you know, I mean, I've had to like pull back a little bit from it, because I just don't have the bandwidth between the you know, the book that I'm writing now in back series, Beckett and Quill, you know, I'm on not only like, still drive our board squeeze, okay, humans, I've joined a couple other boards, there's a company called ideal image, which is like the biggest medical spa in the country. Wow.

Amy: 37:20

Now that company, they they actually recruited me that we can talk about that offline.

Alli: 37:24

Funny. Um, and I joined the board of on site, because on site, you know, out of Nashville was really helpful. And just, you know, you know, Myles, who's the CEO of onside has become a near and dear friend of mine, and I love what they're doing. I mean, they're doing incredible work. And so, you know, I'm just pulling direction, a different direction. So, the podcast was a little bit challenging. So I do a couple of episodes here a month with them. So it's going really well, I'm just not, I'm not doing quite as much as they are. But you know, I'm just trying to figure out, you know, where to put my time, which, like I said, I don't even right, you got to prioritize the other big project that I'm launching soon as, yeah, it just, you know, I can't like sit still, you know, I'm trying all these things. So, I'm even getting into like, the NFT world, which is really, wow, you know, there's just like, fun stuff. So. But I love it.

Katie: 38:22

You mentioned your job, your book. So you have a new book that you're currently working on?

Alli: 38:28

Yes. Um, you know, it's so funny. I did another podcast right before you guys. And I was just thinking to myself, like, I don't think I can do two podcasts in one day, because I don't remember what I said. You're in there. Like, did I tell you guys that? I was like, Nope, I said in the last podcast, I did just get a book deal, which was like a very, very, like, big, you know, exciting thing for me that I something that I've been working on for a long time. And I had been working with the ghostwriter. And basically spent almost all of last year like outlining the book, it's about like, 19 or 20 chapters. And it's been, it's, you know, it's very cathartic going back to your life. And, and the purpose of the book is to be, you know, it is a memoir, but not, I really don't want it to be this, like, self indulgent story about me, you know, I want it to be, you know, kind of what you guys have said, Shawn, like, you know, lessons learned, you know, things that I've picked up and, and again, in that theme of paying it forward of like, here's, you know, what I've learned, here's what's worked for me, here's what hasn't worked for me Take it or leave it, you know, make it your own. Also, like a bit of a resource of like, you know, some of like, the crazy shit I've been through with my son and yeah, all sorts of stuff. So, yeah, I'm in I actually have a call with my new book editor this week to start, you know, mapping out the book, which I'm like, so excited and scared. The first book I wrote was was like a very like hair syndrich it was called the driver Guide to Good Hair for all was like breaking down. You know what I want to know about hair. And this is a much, much more personal endeavor that I'm excited about. And you know, I love obviously sharing and oversharing. So it'll be fun. But yeah, lots of lots of project sounds like that's fine. skills needed. Yeah.

Amy: 40:22

When is this? Yeah, seriously.

Katie: 40:24

Any idea? We'll be out? Do we is there

Alli: 40:28

probably early 2023? Okay, great is what it's looking like now, which just seemed really far, but not when you're writing a book,

Amy: 40:35

you read the Jen Adkin book. I heard that was really good. I started it. Finish it.

Alli: 40:40

Read it. But I love Jen. And I've heard it's amazing. Yeah, I've heard. I've heard really good things. And she's a gem of a person. And I'm sure she's very smart. And so I'm sure it's great.

Amy: 40:52

Yes, like you. I'm listening to it. But I this is what I do. I listen to five things at once. I'm sorry. She repeated herself. I don't know. I actually that one. I started reading on my iPad, like the night when I couldn't sleep. And then I bought the audiobook, but I actually, I don't know if it's her because I've only listened to it a few times. I

Alli: 41:11

mean, I love obviously, we both have a love of audio books. Like I love it when the author reads it. I plan out so much better mine too, because there's emotion and you know, so I'm excited to do that. Yeah,

Amy: 41:23

I think it is harder now than before. Yeah, I have like 10 books open right now. Just like

Alli: 41:31

these kinds of books. And then I have like, just complete like, you know, non, like helpful books at all, just like guilty pleasure books. So

Katie: 41:41

those are something to help shut the brain down that very, very busy brain of yours. Yeah, exactly. All right. Well, you know what else we should touch on really quickly, just because we did have Meredith on recently, and it was right for the holidays when we saw her. How did Meredith How did Beckett and Quill do during the holiday season? She had some some super exciting promotions and everything. It was great.

Alli: 42:02

Yeah. I mean, we it was such a great holiday season. We were you know, blown away really by you know how, you know, the last like two months of the year where our, you know, hands down made our year so that night really exciting. And even we learned a lot about what works and what doesn't work and what to where to put our energy and it set us up for you know, this year to be able to, you know, go do a little bit more so we she had a lot of success when she was in New York with you guys in doing the trunk shows that she did.

Katie: 42:35

That was so fun. So it was a great time.

Alli: 42:38

Because she's so you know she does so well when she goes out and does the trunk. She's so cute. She's so cute. So she's,

Amy: 42:45

yeah, no. Cindy Crawford clone. Yeah, I know what she was on. I was like, did anybody has anybody told you look like Cindy Crawford? Because I can't like she's spitting at it. She's like, Oh my god. Ali says that all the time. I'm like

Alli: 42:58

You You're exactly her was oh, and the thing, the whole thing. Just take a picture of her today because it's her birthday. And I think it's the picture that is a picture of her that really I feel like looks like Cindy Crawford. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, well,

Amy: 43:15

congrats on on a good holiday season. That's exciting. We love love love what you guys are doing with decadent quality.

Alli: 43:21

Thank you so right up our alley for you guys have been awesome.

Amy: 43:24

Yeah, of course. So we have a couple of like fun questions a little rap session and product review. So what is your holy grail? haircare product? Because obviously you're the queen bee here. So we need to know like, what is your favorite thing? Do you have a favorite one or two things that are your go twos.

Alli: 43:40

I mean, they fluctuate so much, you know, it's just kind of depends on like, where I'm at in my hair journey. And I you know, I don't, I mean, I don't really blow dry my hair all that much anymore. I mean, as you can see my hair a little bit dirty right now. I kind of like it i really like undone hair. And I've always sent me to him even in the throes of drybar. But I would say like my the tool, whether the product that I stuck with for as long for very very long time is probably our three day Bender, which is a curling iron, you know, that hasn't been the barrel we I the one inch, like I've used it forever, it's such a great iron, you don't need to make it very hot. And it gives you all sorts of different curls. I would say that's probably like a staple in my hair wardrobe. And then you know, I kind of go back and forth with different like serums you know, we make a great one that's a treatment. It's called that the treatment oil 100 proof and but I really use a lot of brands a lot of different hair products from different brands that I that I love. And gosh, what am I using that I really love right now. Um,

Amy: 44:55

can I tell you a funny hack? So the dry bar dry conditioner which I love smell and I know like smells like you're very sensitive to smell and like, I am too and I love that smell. But I spread. I have a puppy, we got a new puppy recently. And I spray it in her hair every once in a while just to like, I don't know, give it a little bit of life sometimes. You know, she's outside, whatever it makes her smell good. And like my mom, remember the other day she smells so good. I'm like, Oh, I put some dry conditioner. Really good.

Katie: 45:28

My dog particularly smells

Alli: 45:32

that's so funny. And I would say like our dry shampoo is one of I use the brown dry shampoo a lot to cover up like my gray that comes in and that's like one of my favorite go twos.

Amy: 45:42

Oh, I didn't even know they had that. Nice. You.

Katie: 45:44

Nice we do you talk. Yeah, yeah, these are good ones. All right. Well, let's let's wrap into kick it to our rap session, because we have taken up so much of your time. You've been so generous. So you have a favorite wellness or beauty hack.

Alli: 45:59

You know, I would say my my latest beauty hack is I recently discovered there's this company called canopy they make. They're kind of like a revolutionary humidifier. So it's like not the humidifier. Oh, I know that brand. Yeah, it's really cool. Because they figured out this technology. So like your humidifier doesn't get gross and moldy and gross and gookie. And there's some really amazing data on like how good it is for your skin and your scalp. So I'm, I use it, it's on constantly, we never shut it off. And never you know, you have to change the filter once every, I don't know, a month or something. But it's really really easy upkeep and I love it.

Katie: 46:38

Nice. Yeah, I literally don't use humidifiers because of that exact problem. Like after a while they get gross. But you know,

Alli: 46:45

it's fascinating and I've learned a lot about this company because the long story but you know is also like men on humidifiers and use some kind of when you're sick and whatever, they get too gnarly and you throw them away you know? Yeah. However it's like multi billion dollar industry and like how in the world and these guys who started canopy who I've gotten to know which is you know, it's been kind of an interesting evolution. You know, they're like, Yeah, we just real I was like these guys started it who realized like their girlfriends were like, you know, saying that their skin was much better from having a mini humidifier but there were so many issues with them so they are kind of entering this beauty space and I was like I've been using it now for a little over a month and I'm like my skin looks and feels so much better and there's so much technology and like the fact that you know doesn't put it like a big a big water molecule into the air which would be really bad for our hair. So it's it's pretty awesome yeah, there's some really cool technology with it that I've geeked out on a little bit so I'm amused to try

Amy: 47:43

that cuz I same thing same thing didn't I think Lauren Bostic like did like a collab with them? She Yeah, okay, that's how I know the brand. Okay, cool. We got to try that. Yeah. Okay, then the next one is called our five minute flow. So you just got out of the shower your Uber pings you They're downstairs their weight or they're five minutes away. So what is your quick beauty routine? Like what are your go to is what do you throw on what do you put on your face to get like downstairs and in that Uber on time? Well,

Alli: 48:12

I would say the biggest thing is like I am kind of it's because of like my age but like skin is really important to me so I always put on like I'm like very religious with Shawnee garden products and I'll put on like toner first because I've learned that like if you put that on first it helps the other stuff seep in more I always use a serum i You start with Shani I was a serum and then I like always I usually have if I have time I'll put on like blush and lipstick but I always have my I always have eyeliner and mascara on it's like I do not feel like myself if I don't have that on everything else is like kind of like me but it's eyes for me and like a lot of shit on my face I

Amy: 48:56

feel you on that one.

Katie: 48:58

Now that's funny I refuse to leave the house without like liner Yeah, that's yeah,

Alli: 49:03

I always have liner I used to like line the inside of my eyes and then I started realizing that like my eyes like my eyes are very small and that looks much smaller now I just do the top and I I'm embracing it I'm good with it.

Amy: 49:17

Do you get lost in the TIC tock world of like hair and beauty hacks I'm like a really gentle stop oh my god I

Alli: 49:24

get it and if I if I get into if I see something I can get locked into it but I'm honestly like so embarrassing but like you know um, you've probably seen me post about my cat which I'm like such a dog person Yes

Amy: 49:37

cookie but we talked about the air tag the other day Yes.

Alli: 49:40

Oh right you guys I just ordered the collar to her because good our tag on her because that was the most traumatic thing thinking I lost her I was such a fucking wreck. And so I I'm in like, I end up my my I end up watching so many fucking kitten videos. What's wrong with me? It's really fine. I see these like cat and dog videos like where the kitten like runs into the room and like jumps on the dog's face. I'm like, Why doesn't cookie do any of this stuff? A little bit of such an animal person and like it's my dream to have like a farm one day and have tons of dogs and cats and chickens and all of that. But that's, that's coming.

Katie: 50:23

Well, maybe that's a good segue into how you maintain your daily nirvana is it possibly the kitty videos

Alli: 50:33

you know, I mean, I I you know, kind of like the post I posted this weekend of like, I realized I need like alone time and I'm, I definitely think I'm like an introverted extrovert, like, I can really turn it on and be on for the camera, and all that stuff. But then I like, I really like my downtime. I really love my downtime. And I think that's kind of what keeps me like in flow, you know?

Katie: 50:54

Yeah, yeah, totally agreed.

Amy: 50:56

Okay, well, typically, on the show, we end with a quick product review, like what we're loving now and a quick mantra. So we're gonna do that quickly. So and I think you'll like this alli, because it's kind of well kind of related, but not related to something we just talked about. So I don't know if you've heard of this brand, called Vatroovie. These diffusers Oh, no, I haven't seen that. They're air diffusers. And that the reason why I like it is it's stone and it's really beautiful. So when you have it so you can I never was like a diffuser person. But I saw these and I'm like, Oh, they're like pretty and they look nice in your office or your home. And there's I'm going to show my phone if you can see right now. But there's all these amazing colors. I don't know if you can see this, but there's like, why and pink and yeah, I was like like if you go on their website, but they have you. They have eucalyptus color and, and and gray and yellow. Not a buttercup yellow, but like mustard yellow, and they have a teal and like just always wrong with no, nothing I'm saying they have a drive a muster. where's the where's the yellow cup? Buttercup yellow. But anyway, they've cream it. Anyway, they have all these beautiful colors for TV. They're just very like, chic and Luxe. So they look nice in your home. They'll like a piece of decor versus just like an ugly diffuser.

Alli: 52:14

And one of the things I love about canopy is they're like that, too. It's like yeah, so it's so beautiful

Amy: 52:19

body and then I got like three different scents. I love grapefruit. So I put grapefruit in there. And then I also have like this grapefruit eucalyptus kind of mix and then one with lime and juniper and whatever and yummy smells. But anyway, just start using it. And now that I have my smell back after COVID I'm loving it. So it's just a really nice product. If you want a diffuser that like look chic and nice and all types of colors. It's I think it's around $110. But it's a good one. So that's what I'm loving right now. Love it. Love. The fun

Katie: 52:54

one. Yeah. All right. Well, I will wrap with our mantra in honor of Martin Luther King Day. This is a Martin Luther King quote. And it's also very appropriate to your unbelievable entrepreneurialship. So you don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step. And

Alli: 53:15

that one I knew a good one I love that's

Amy: 53:19

true. Say that one more. Thank you so much. I just want to say thank you, I know are getting so busy. And we really appreciate the time you spend with us and we know our audience will love it and we'll have to meet one day in person next time. We're in L.A.

Alli: 53:32

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Katie: 53:35

Thank you. Thanks, Alli.

Amy: 53:36

I say Have a good one. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 36 - Reiki Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Power Of The Crystal With Athena Bahri, Part 2 (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 36 Reiki Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Power Of The Crystal With Athena Bahri, Part 2.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Welcome back to this show Nirvana sisters family, and welcome to part two with Athena Bahri. This week, we go a little bit deeper into her book, raise your vibes and talk about some of the chapters we go we talk a bit about meditation and mantras and some interesting conversation around angels and signs and all sorts of fun stuff. So take a listen to part two and enjoy.

Katie: 0:55

There's a couple more things in the book that I want to get to I think they're so cool and interesting. You so first of all, really quickly, we can just touch on meditation and mantras, because that is very much a big part of of the whole experience. Right? Do you always do meditation within Reiki is a kind of, are you saying mantras while you're while you're doing Reiki?

Athena: 1:18

So I'm not. That's it's an interesting, yeah, that's an interesting kind of way to put it. When I do distance Reiki, just for example, I really do go into this deep meditative state, and so does the other person. So a lot of the time they'll even fall asleep, because it's so you know, they've really go into it. And then they wake up at the end of the session, like, whoa, what was that. So during distance, I'll find I'm much more into in a meditative state, when it's in person, you know, obviously, I can't quite just go into meditation, because I'm actually using my hands, you know, on the person's body, or just above, depending on the area I'm working on. So I don't use mantras or met, you know, as you would, as you would think of a mantra, we do have Reiki symbols. And there is there is a sound that is affiliated with those that you'll learn, you know, in the master level, or even level two in the Japanese lineage, it's usually not taught in western anymore, but in the Japanese lineage it is. And that's really amazing and powerful. And people kind of think you're funny when you do it. But, you know, I mean, I'm past caring what people do my work, it's like, it's okay, I'm a hippie, it's fine, you know. But really, you know, I don't, I won't use sound or things like that from myself, because I don't want to interrupt the flow of the energy that they're receiving. So when I'm doing like, they're drawing in energy, you don't want to interrupt that flow. And cause worry, so you know, oh, your throat chakra is out of balance. Let me do this. Let me work here. That Whoa, like, definitely, definitely not something you want to do. It's not like a massage or like, Oh, you're really tight right here. Let me work that out. Yeah. You want to keep that energy flowing and open and not, you don't, you're not causing blockages yourself. And likewise, when people have a massage, they think about it, you want to relax and just, you know, allow your body to release, right. And if the massage therapist is there talking to you during your session, it's it's kind of like counterintuitive, you can't really like relax and let go. So kind of similar in that way. But when people are doing, you know, self Reiki for themselves, it's wonderful to use mantras, it's wonderful to use Mudra, as well, you know, just helps. It's like, whatever works for you to help channel in this energy and help you feel a peace. That's what you want to keep doing. And in the book, there's so many different options that you can use, because everybody's different, and you're not going to feel called to do one one or of the one or another. And maybe your energy is different tomorrow. And what you did yesterday didn't work. So you know, in the book, you have an option to kind of switch that up and say, Oh, well, today, you know, I feel actually more drawn to use crystals, or I feel more drawn to you sound or today I'm going to dabble with the violet flame, you know, there's different ways you can, you know, work with energy, there's so much, which is so cool. And my kind of writing this book was interesting. It's like, no, but I need to add this. And now I need to add that at one point, man, like, you got to stop. Like, that's it. Like that

Katie: 4:36

number. Right? Well, that's, that's what I wanted to say. Because in the book, you have all the mudras and you have different mantras and just all of these different like self care self healing tools, you actually one of the mantras that you put in there was really important to me when I first moved here it was Om Mani Padme Hum, I might be saying it wrong, but that's how I say it. So I used that. That was my meditation when I I first moved here, I needed that compassion towards myself. What does that mean? It's, and correct me if I'm wrong or help me, Athena, but I, it means like compassion to yourself and to the world and kind of open, like letting all of that end to just kind of go easy on on your soul. Okay, yeah, guys that is that right, Athena?

Athena: 5:18

Yeah, yeah. And it's very unlined to with like, the Reiki principle, you know, be kind to your neighbor, and every living thing that includes yourself being kind to yourself, and the the mantras are in the Sanskrit mantras. These are, these are way Oh, these are like, 1000s of years old. And there's a reason that they are still carried with us today. Because they really are powerful. And in a way, you're also at sound healing. So you're using your own voice, to to generate this sound that is so healing. And when you do the mantra, that even just the ohm, you know, you feel that vibration, behind your mouth, behind your lips. And this, this is resonating. This is like, it's like carrying out throughout your body and through your energetic system. So, you know, using mantras are wonderful. I mean, some people are really into, you know, you have to do it 108 times they think it is right, and you'd go through the beads, kind of like a rosemary, Hail Mary, right, where they were, like holding the beads and going around. And for some people, if that's what works for you, awesome. I mean, I have no judgment, like, it's all about what works for you, I'm just kind of giving you the tools like this is what can help. I love that you did that when you're moving up there, because that's awesome. You might want to try also the one for new beginnings, where you're, you know, you're releasing any obstacles in your path and open to the blessings that can come your way. These are, you know, you just moved into a new place. So you got to kind of, you know, release the old life, right, so that you can begin this new chapter without feeling, you know, kind of like this. Hope, but I used to do it like this over here, you know, with my friend. And now what and all these like questions. Well, you know, using that one can help you kind of release that fear release that you're open to all the new and the wonderful that you're going to experience in your new home.

Amy: 7:14

And what is that one? Yeah.

Athena: 7:17

Well, yes, that one is in the book. And that, you know, let me say I should have drawn the page, but it's, I'm gonna Patti Namaha. So let me see if

Katie: 7:27

I can find it's kind of a large one. There was Nina, that's very long,

Athena: 7:31

long, but I have it broken down in there. Let's see, I'm gonna have to use my own index. What I love about this book is I use it as a reference myself all the time.

Amy: 7:42

It's a no, it's nice to have everything and then you can kind of skim through the areas that you want to focus on or the parts you want to read.

Athena: 7:49

Yeah, definitely. I mean, and like keep I keep this close, and I'm always referencing it and, you know, helping others so that they can I'm like, Oh, wait, I know this. I wrote about that. Um, okay, so it's on page 117. And it really it breaks down there how to say it, so that you're not kind of tripping over yourself. And when you're first starting, you know, just read it right from the book because it's right it's right there for you. Right. And I know at first if you just see it taped it looks kind of scary. It's kind of intimidating. That's a that's a long one, right? Like this one is is really I had bought like one of these little there's, there's this company that does mantra beads. And I had bought one of the beats. That was the first one that I bought my really felt called to it. This is this is even before I started Reiki, this is years and years ago, and I thought, yeah, that sounds new beginnings and removing obstacles. Let's do that. And I got this. Got this beat. And I would work with it. And I would say the mantra repeat the mantra, and oh, my goodness, the things that changed after I started working on this, it was almost like, I didn't think I was ready for this. Like, wait a minute, wait a minute, what's going on backup backup? Yeah, hold on. But all the changes that have happened since have been so incredible. So that's a really nice mantra to work with. You can also listen to it, you know, I'm sure if you type it into, you know, iTunes or something like YouTube and you know, you'll find somebody panting and it's helpful.

Amy: 9:27

Just like listen to that while you're doing yoga. Yeah, just that's cool. Yeah.

Athena: 9:31

Yeah, and then you can just start repeating like you're singing along you know, it's like when you're learning a new language and if anybody has learned a new language I married a Persian man so I'm always hearing their languages and listening to the music of it really helps to formulate the sound for you. Likewise, a kid and like you know, choir, we would sing in in like Latin and German and all these other things and I can't speak any of those. But when you're singing it, you know it's for some reason when you seeing that sound, that sound healing really comes through with ease. So yeah, it for I would say for anybody if you're struggling to repeat these, go look up the music on, you know, YouTube or something and do it that way.

Amy: 10:12

So yeah, that's a great tip. And you had mentioned mantras and mudras, what's a mudra

Athena: 10:17

Ah, so a mudra, which is also from Sanskrit. And you'll find these a lot. Actually, a lot of people are using that in yoga and meditation now, but it's just a way of how you hold your your hands. So like, you know, there's like a Surya Mudra, which, you know, this is the story of Mudra, right. And this one works with your thyroid, but it's also great for dietary stuff. It's great for grounding. So when you're holding this one, the idea is the pressure is here on your on your ring finger and in your hands. To get the pictures going in your hands, you have connection to the meridians in your body. So this is kind of the the thought behind it, you have these meridians which are really like energy roadways, let's say, you know, within our body, like a roadmap, and when you place that focus there, during your meditation, you are also sending that energy, you know, down your meridians through your body. And it's really delightful for for healing for giving yourself confidence, there's, there are so many that you can work with, there's some in the book as well, that helped with like confidence or just coming into your own. And when you hold these, and it doesn't have to be, you know, super strict and tight. Let your fingers like relax, but keep the focus the pressure on on wherever you're touching your thumb to or your everybody's probably seen this one, right. So when you're doing this, the focus is on the pressure here at your fingers. And then as you meditate. And let's say you get all these self defeating thoughts that start to come in, or I have an itch, or I have moved or what was that sound, all these different things that the brain is like trying to say, No, you can't become meditate. So you just return your focus back to where that pressure is. And suddenly your mind and all those thoughts, all those negative nancies in there, stop because your focus is here. And likewise, you know, if you're working with your breath, you know, you'll return to that sensation of breathing. Because your focus is on the breath. And that's that's what they use in mindfulness meditation is the breath, that there's lots of different ways to meditate. And a lot of people struggle with it. I mean, I know I did before, when someone was like, Oh, you gotta meditate. I can't sit there like you guys. Do that, like five minutes, like two minutes in and I'm like, oh, okay, I gotta move. I'm itching I can't Yeah, you're unsettled, right. And then and then I took this wonderful class for UCLA for mindfulness. And it really changed everything. I mean, I started it, you know, for not even for myself, I was going in with my husband, we had just moved to her own house, and super stress, lots of anger. And I was just like, alright, we got to, we got to tone this down, and let's go to a meditation class. You know, I didn't want to do like thing, you know, anger management or therapy, it wasn't kind of that situation. So I thought, Let's do mindfulness helped me more into that. And it ended up being such a blessing for me. And then I took my kids and I was like, okay, come on, guys, you you need to do this too, especially like, kids that are coming into their teens, they have so much angst so much worry so much, you know, hormonal changes and motions that are just, you know, all over the place, and teaching them to meditate has been such a gift, because now they have a resource that they can turn to, to just pause, like, bring all that down. And, and this really helps them I you know, I expect and hope that it will help them if they return to this throughout their lives, you know, when they life is gonna throw you curveballs it's gonna throw you stress, it's gonna throw you situations that yes, we're meant to grow and learn from but that doesn't make them easy, right? It doesn't mean that it's easy. So giving them tools to post bring it down, you know, have some clarity, do some Reiki on yourself love on yourself a little bit and then you can kind of face the challenges that life is throwing you with like a cool head and a little more clarity. And, you know, I mean, isn't that a gift just on its own? Right? 100 Yeah, my latest is teaching kids I love I love children. I love working with kids. And they've suffered so much during this pandemic, not having school being in zoom. I mean, I seen it everywhere. I have three kids. So I have a wide age range, age range of kids that I can see how each you know age group is is really affected by this and so I thought you know what, why do we have to wait till work? have grown up. And we already have trauma to you know, heal ourselves while we give them tools before life kicks their butt, right, let's, let's show them some of these things before life is too hard. And then hopefully, you know, using them and applying them their life will just be like that little bit less stressful, a little bit less traumatic, you know, can't save them from everything.

Amy: 15:24

How do you get to be interested in it? Because I have two boys, 14 and 12. And I try to like do breathing and different over them, but they're very, you know, they roll their eyes. I mean, I'm thinking maybe it's sinking in somewhere, but like, how do you get kids to be open to it and not think it's silly? Or, you know,

Athena: 15:43

well, who cares? If they think it's silly, that's fine. Like, you know what? That's fine. All right. So think it's like my kids call me a hippie Mom, mom, mom, you're such a hippie mom. I mean, I get this all the time. And I just love her. No, I have 15 and 13 and seven. And, you know, part of it is being that example showing them right now. It's the same with like rituals and and for our partners out there that think we're like being you know, doing my husband used to say, what is this hoodoo voodoo stuff you're doing? Married a long time. We're like 20 years now. So he's seen me go through all the growth and change. And, you know, in the beginning, it's like, and kids are the same, you know, it's like, right, it's like this kind of, you know, they're, they're skeptical and you know, they want to be on their phones or be with their friends and, but you know, kind of watching mom or watching dad, you know, sit down and do some of these things. And then when they show any, any, like the slightest bit of curiosity, you know, rather than like pouncing like, oh, yeah, here this is how you do and it's all like this just here. Why don't you try it? You know, just the tour. Like oh, it's cool right here are trying here ticket or yeah, this is my crystal here. Try it. You know, here's the here's one. Yeah. And just, you know, and they will look at it and kind of like okay, all right, cool, mom. But it plants the seed, you know, begins Yeah, that process my boys have crystals in

Amy: 17:13

their rooms. I gave it to them. And they thought it was really cool, actually. And they both have like one house by the window one by the nightstand. So I guess it is sinking in. But yeah, it

Athena: 17:21

is. Totally. It's a good reminder loves like Soul, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Kids love crystals. Like, my son comes and asks my 13 year old he'll come Mom, I can't sleep. Can I have an amethyst? Oh, that's great. It's like, pragmatic moments when and they're really children are so actually open and receptive to it. If we just give them kind of the environment where they don't feel pressured, or, you know, like, we're just dominating them with more rules, right, right, buddy, like 15 It's like, yeah, okay, I'm not gonna listen to you. But if it's kind of a gentle kind of thing, like, I ordered some sound healing equipment. And the first thing I brought it out, my kids all came out. Let's see. And I let them, take them, play with them. Use them like, Yeah, do it. Great. Cool. Isn't that fun? Oh, look. And if you do it like this, it makes this sound and, you know, suddenly, like, whoo, I want to do that. So it's, it's kind of, you know, leading by example. But then it's also just being open to letting them you know, take it at their own time. And, you know, the course the workshop I'm doing, you know, it's four weeks, I keep it short, because, you know, the attention span, like, I'm not trying to drag them through, like a whole thing. Just trying to like, you know, plant that seed, help them see, look, try this. Try this. See how this is? And look, doesn't that feel good? Cool. Now you do it, you know, I mean, it's kind of like, that kind of approach. And then that way, they're just a little bit more receptive. And you know, if they think I'm crazy and hippie, that's cool. That's fine.

Amy: 18:51

Yeah, I think they should do it wired at schools like they should open and close. Yeah, school doing something like that. One of my kids schools did that. And I thought it was incredible.

Katie: 19:01

Yeah. Before we get into our wrap up session, there's one little topic that I want to just hit really fast because it fascinates me and I think Amy as well and it's in your book, it's angels and signs. And how much of that is about being in tune like with your third eye and everything and having that pathway clear, I find I have always been very intuitive. My my crazy stories in my family like my mom and my grandmother and you know, have like seen signs and spirit and hurt spirit and everything. So how much of that do you feel is related to your third eye chakra?

Athena: 19:39

Well, your your third eye definitely helps you to be open to divine, you know, clear sight and open to things that are not of this physical plane, I guess is what you'd say. And then as well as your crown chakra being, you know, open to divine knowledge and guidance. So I think These two work really well together anytime you're working with, you know, spirit universe angels. It's kind of just, it's having that clear open sight that is beyond our physical plane. And that sounds very hippy. But you know, we do have like, you know, these planes where you have it, just think of it like your body, you have an emotional body, a physical body, and then you have a spiritual body, right? So it's kind of the same thing with our universe. You know, we have these different planes, there's a spiritual level to it, there's, some people will call it there's different names, you know, five D, 3d, you know, you'll hear it in terms of that, you'll hear it like, you know, Heaven and Earth, you'll hear different ways that people have tried to explain this, that man's women, humankind has tried to explain what these different levels are these different planes of consciousness or of beings, and you having that open third eye is really important, but I always say, like I said earlier, you always also want to make sure you have that strong root chakra, because then you are free to explore and, and safely without just kind of losing it, right. I mean, we've seen a lot of people, especially when people are using plant medicine, and I have awesome, great, I have no you know, anything against it. But what I do see is that people that are go on these, you know, trips will say or hallucinogenics, they have a hard time coming back to like real life, right? It's kind of like there's so far out there, that it's really hard to adjust back to like, normal, everyday life. So when you have that strong root chakra, you're really free to explore. It's like having your anchor, right? And how is that connected with angels? Well, I also have have had this amazing connection with angels, since I was a kid didn't really know what it was until I was much older. I just thought it was maybe weird. Like, why don't you see people to like? Talk about that. So, um, you know, what you grow up thinking is normal as a kid, then you talk to people like it's because it's your normal and you realize, oh, this that doesn't happen for you too. Okay, cool. We'll just like, you know, quiet here. But for everybody, they I think everybody has the potential and the power to open up to, to the Divine or to, you know, angels. I mean, we all have angels, we all have our, or our spirit guides. Some people like to call it doesn't matter what term you're using. But we all have these guardian angels around us that are right there. Like they're there, right there, like their board, give them something to do. They want to help you, they want to guide you, you know, just start talking to them. I know it feels a little weird at first but start talking to them. So asking for signs is the is the easiest way to start communicating if you haven't before. And you know, you don't even in terms of chakras, I don't know that you even need to, to open those, I think that will just your third eye will start to open as you practice this because you're suddenly going to become more aware of things outside of, you know, the physical, present life here on earth in your house, right? So ask for a sign. And then suddenly, what happens so often is people start seeing numbers, you know, sequences, like so 111222333 This week was crazy. Oh, and a wonderful Nirvana that I'm just thinking was all the angel numbers that I had coming forward this week, it was a mess. It was like, every time I looked at the clock, every time I looked at a receipt, when I went to fill up my gas, when it was it was crazy, like the number of messages, the number of emails like suddenly everything was an angel number and I was like, wow, like I'm on it this week. What's going on? Like, okay, angels, I'm listening. I'm listening, you know, like, Tell me Tell me what do I need to know and then just allowing yourself to be open to receive the message and you know, a lot of them will question like, Wait, was that right? And when you're questioning that's another time that you can ask for a sign like okay, I'm questioning this and my crazy angels you know, give me a sign show you know, throw a penny my way if if I'm not making if this is not like made up like if it's all in my head, you know, put a dime out there if it's not give me a penny and I swear, you know, like within like later that day or the next day, suddenly you're gonna see pennies or you'll see dimes and you're like yeah,

Katie: 24:44

my my mom was always say to me, she would say you know, when you're in your car or you're crossing the street and it's clear, and you're looking one way and then something just tells you hold on a second look the other way really quickly. She she's she and then the cars coming. That's a bout to hit you. She's always said like, those are your angels. They're they're like tapping on your shoulder, you know, reminding you just to be extremely. Yes. Yeah, but ya know, it's really, the whole thing kind of blows my mind.

Amy: 25:18

Yeah, we could do a whole show. And we should I think I should. Yeah, I think it's so interesting. And with all the signs it Yeah, yeah, I want to hear

Katie: 25:25

Yeah, yeah, we'll have to have you back to talk about that because that's

Athena: 25:30

absolutely. You're like that little whisper or that stranger that came by and randomly said some message that resonated with you and you're like, wait, what? Where did that come from a lot of the times you'll get these messages you'll or you'll even you'll overhear a conversation or, you know, a song will come on the radio with a specific lyric that applies to whatever you were just asking a moment ago, it's really amazing. There's no limits to like, how they

Amy: 25:55

showing Katie and her girls a picture last night of a pancake I made a couple of weeks ago. And I took a picture of it because it had a heart outline inside event. Like, very overt. And I was like, I wonder I mean, and I, and we just got a new puppy. Like, I think it was like earlier that week or something. So to me, it meant loving our homes or something. And it's all good. So yeah, it was unbelievable. I

Athena: 26:21

love that. Yeah, see, and it pops up in like, you know, even in our food, it'll pop up. So

Amy: 26:27

it was random. This never happened before I just happen to look down and I was like, Oh, my God, look at this. And I had to take a

Athena: 26:34

picture. And it usually something like that, where it's random, because it pops out at you, you know, if it was just something normal, it wouldn't pop, but something like that, where you actually went and got your phone and took a picture of the pancakes like clearly that struck you. So signs are like that. It's like they really strike you. You're like, whoa, wait a minute, you know, like, you know, why am I saying 111 all day long? Like this is you know, it's not it's not a coincidence. You know, it's your angels reaching out and trying to get deliver a message for you. And yes, sometimes it's hard to kind of decipher, but that's as you start communicating with them more, you can start asking for clarity, you know, asking for clarity. And then the, I guess the more experienced or the more comfortable is really, you become with receiving this information, the clearer it becomes for you. And you actually start to you. I mean, the way I have my intuitive guess is I have like this sense of knowing and then I'll see it. So it's like, like, almost like I know it like I'm hearing somebody talk in my head but I don't like and not It's not like a sound but like you hear it like it like a voice in your head kind of thing. I know that it's so yeah, right.

Katie: 27:44

I didn't know that comes into your brain that's very like,

Athena: 27:50

yeah, just like when a thought comes in your brain when you're trying to meditate, for example, right? You're trying to meditate and that thought comes in, you're like, oh my god, get out of here. But with Angel messages and connecting with angels, it's a similar thing, you'll hear this like thought but it's not your own thought, you know, that's what's different. It's not, it's not coming from you, but you hear it or you feel it or you know it. And it's like, whoa, you know, where did that come from. And then it's like, you know, those your angels. So just when the science do come, you know, manners matter, always use you know, just take a moment for gratitude, like angels, thank you for thank you for sending me that sign. You know, I really needed that today or, you know, whatever, just just take a moment of thanks because they love that too. And then they feel you know, appreciated and loved and honored and validated you know, that they're able to communicate with you. So, always important to keep gratitude, a central part of, of any ritual, any practice, anything that you're doing moving forward, because that really raises your vibration and, and everybody loves to work with someone who's you know, has gratitude because that's, you know, that's a blessing. That's someone you want to be around, right? So same thing with your angels, you know, be nice, say thanks. Yeah, thank you.

Katie: 29:01

That's a great tip. Well, at the end, thank you so much. This has been illuminating and very, very fun. So we want to get into our rap session with you because you know, we have some fun questions we have to ask you outside of all of this great stuff. So what is your favorite wellness or beauty

Athena: 29:19

hack? Wellness beauty hack? Oh, yes, this was on your list of stuff. So when I get five minutes and I gotta get out the door. Beauty will be you know, mascara and red lips because No, I don't have time for anything else. Boom. I'm out the door and I still look kind of put together sometimes I'll throw in a hat depending. I will always grab one of my crystals. So it would be you know, either a bracelet or a necklace. Sometimes I'll grab like, this one's kind of big to show you what's if I have a little one. So I'll have like a little crystal. I love to grab like a little crystal and way out the door and just tuck it into my bra. Like just remember more Yeah, but take it just, I know it's like my husband's like, what are you putting rocks in your bras now like what's going on, but it's, you know, it keeps that beautiful energy close to you, I happen to grab a rose quartz, but she was great that energy of love, you know, keep that tuck that into your bra. hematite is great. Keep yourself grounded. If you need some protection, you know, grab a protection stone, if you feel like you're going into an interview and you need that, like, boost of confidence, you know, grab a little strain and just stick it in your raw. It's kind of like a little secret hack. You know, your little secret stash. empowering yourself, you know, moving forward. So that's my, that's my one my best and favorite, I think is the little crystal Diddy's in the pockets.

Amy: 30:42

Yeah, great. And we probably know this answer, but how do you maintain your daily nirvana? What's the one thing you do every day to keep you peaceful?

Athena: 30:49

Yeah. My daily nirvana is my gratitude practice 100% My, the difference in my days is so drastic when I forget to do this. So first thing in the morning, I wake up and I just list off before I do anything, before I check the phone, before I go to bathroom before I even get pull off the covers, open my eyes and just take a moment three to five things that I'm grateful for. And this just starts my day on a positive shifts my energy into a positive. So no matter what comes towards me that day, I am starting from such a high place. But it's you know, it keeps you elevated and keeps you happier. We can't always be happy, there's going to be days that are just wretched. But when you start, you know from a place of gratitude, everything is a lot easier to bear during your day. And the days I forget, I notice a huge shift. I'm not able to handle things as well. So gratitude, gratitude, gratitude practice. It's so so important. That highly recommend everybody. Try it for a week. Yeah, and it's effort. It's it's nothing that right, it takes exactly again.

Katie: 32:01

So, absolutely. All right. Well,

Amy: 32:05

well, we are going to close out we're gonna have Katie do our mantra for us that just wanted to thank you so much at the end for being on the show. Well, we're definitely gonna have you back. There's so many topics to discuss. I mean, it's just like my mind is definitely blown after this. But really quickly before Katie just her mantra, how do people find you? Instagram?

Athena: 32:23

Yes, I am on Instagram. I have kind of a large following there on Instagram. I am on YouTube. It's also crystal Reiki healer is the name across everywhere. So okay, so Reiki healer.com Crystal Reiki healer on YouTube crystal Reiki healer on Instagram. It's actually crystal Reiki healer one on Facebook, I couldn't snag that one. And, you know, that's, that's where we'll find me. And then coming soon, I haven't told anyone yet. So this is my own. The Crystal Reiki show, which is gonna learn. Oh, I'm excited. And that will also be crystal Reiki healer. And the massage. I want to just think Crystal Reiki and you know, you should be able to find me but otherwise Athena Berry, BH ri. And you know, you'll find you'll you'll find me there I am. I try to keep this open as I can. So not hard to find if anybody. If anybody needs me, I am here for your highest good.

Katie: 33:26

Thank me. Where have I been on the show? Where and when is the show launching? But do you? Can you tell us that yet?

Athena: 33:32

I have not set a launch date yet. I don't know what my launch date is gonna be I'm hoping for next month. But you know, with all the pre production stuff, maybe January? I don't know. We'll see. Well, I'll keep you posted. And we'll see what happens. We'll do that right.

Katie: 33:52

Well, your book, raise your vibes energy, self healing for everyone by Athena Bari. I could not recommend it more. It's really a gorgeous, like self healing self love tool. And so thank you. So thank you for being here. So let's this mantra made me think of you because of your your gratitude practice how much it's just a common theme I think in your life. And so it is a negative mind will never give you a positive life. And I think that without gratitude, we can tend to lean towards negativity. So it just kind of supports that. So absolutely. Yeah. So thank you, Athena. Thank you for being here.

Athena: 34:32

Thank you so much for having me. Ladies. I am grateful to share with you and your community and I'm so happy love the book. So this has been such a blessing so grateful for you.

Amy: 34:43

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes. Please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new app. sewed of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 35 - Reiki Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Power Of The Crystal With Athena Bahri, Part 1 (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 35 Reiki Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Power Of The Crystal With Athena Bahri, Part 1.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation.

Amy: 0:28

Welcome to Nirvana sisters. We are so excited to chat with Athena Bahri today and also Katie and I are live in studio together, which is a first since we started so it's really exciting to be together. I'm visiting Katie and her family for the weekend. So Athena Bahri is the founder and creator of crystal Reiki healer one of the fastest growing online presences for Crystal and chakra education and Crystal Reiki healing. Hailing from a Hollywood dynasty, the niece of Rita Hayworth and cousin of Ginger Rogers and Donna Reed amazing. Athena had a career as a successful actress as Athena casino before leaving her life of glamour and paparazzi to create a life of peace and energy healing. Today, she is a certified Reiki master crystal Reiki master and chakra healer, leading retreats, clinics and workshops. And where are you leading workshops Athena, because we need to join and have a little Nirvana sisters retreat there.

Athena: 1:25

Oh, I would love for you to do that. That would be so much fun. Well, during the pandemic, we've been doing mostly everything with Zoom. Everybody else right. And then I have a beautiful crystal studio close by called Rock paradise. They're going to be opening I'm so excited in January. And I'm not sure when this is going to air but in January, they're going to be opening their event center basically and over there between classes and courses. And there's so lovely, like they're just some of the most genuine people have a gorgeous crystal shop and they hosted my book signing and release, which was super exciting. And they're like, please come teach you. I'm like, Okay, sure. Yeah, we could do that. So, you know, it's, it's going from like in person to zoom and now back to in person slowly as the world kind of begins to reemerge. And yeah, if you guys were ever on this side of town, I would love for you guys to come.

Katie: 2:23

Okay. All right. Well, why don't we kick it off with our nirvana of the week? I'm excited to hear both of yours. So Amy, why don't why don't you go first, I want to hear yours.

Amy: 2:33

I would say it's visiting you in West score. So as our audience knows that they've been following keeping up with Katie she said a journey to move to Connecticut and she's been in and out of suitcases. So it's just nice to see Katie and her family finally settled in a beautiful home. I'm we're looking right now at these gorgeous autumn trees. And it's just I'm really happy for them. They're getting settled into their new beautiful home and new environment. So it's just nice to see you guys happy and settled. So that's my Nirvana and love. What about you, Katie? Well,

Katie: 3:04

my nirvana is also you coming here. But in addition to that last night, when Amy got here, my eight year old made her a welcome kit. And it was the cutest thing. It was a bag it had it said welcome to Connecticut. There was a welcome stuffed animal dog. There was toiletries. There was like a notepad and pen and paper the whole nine.

Amy: 3:26

Yes, it cosmetics lipstick. Yeah, it was it was through hospitality. It was super cute. Yeah.

Katie: 3:33

What about you Athena? What

Athena: 3:34

was your Nirvana leave my Nirvana this week. It's been an it's been a very interesting week. So my Nirvana out of it. You know, there's always a silver lining, we had a passing in the family. So this silver lining and all of this is that we have had, all of the family really come together and celebrate the life and the love that we all have for each other. And it's been so important for my kids, especially because they're seeing relatives that they haven't for, you know, ever in their lifetime. They're visiting from Iran. And just to see the whole family together like this, even though we've had, you know, this moment of tragedy, we've also turned this into this gorgeous silver lining of love and of unity. So that was my nirvana for this week.

Katie: 4:27

Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you for sharing and we're sorry for your loss. But I can see bringing the family together how how healing that

Athena: 4:33

cooperative miracle thing, you know, it's the cycle of life, you know, everything. You know, you have like when when a new baby is born, it's this big disruption and, but suddenly the family is all together. And it's the same thing with a passing and even though it's, you know, there's hard moments to that. The silver lining in that is you're bringing everybody together and you're celebrating love and you're celebrating the life of that person that was such a big part of your life. So that's really one of the special things if the cycle of life

Katie: 5:02

asks you to fly, wow, okay, well, I want to get started because I feel like we have a seminar to cover your book is phenomenal. It's such a really beautiful kind of how to guide to do everything that we're gonna dive into. And personally, I've always been really interested in Reiki, but I know I don't know much about it. Yeah, I know, I know nothing about it. I really don't even know how it works or anything. So how long have you been teaching and practicing Reiki? Let's start there.

Athena: 5:35

Okay, so practicing Reiki, we're going on, I guess for like five years now, which is like woof, that was fast. And then teaching about a year and a half now, I really felt like I needed to, you know, really settle into the knowledge and really become familiar with how it works and the practice and channeling that energy before I felt comfortable sharing that and teaching that some people dive into the teaching right away. And that's, you know, great for them. But for me, I felt like the more I knew, and the more I worked with this energy, the better teacher it would be. So and then, of course, I kept studying, I got my first Reiki master, and I felt like, oh my god, this is so amazing. I need more, I need more. And so then I studied with another master. And then I studied with another master. And it was after this last one learning the Japanese lineage that I really kind of came into my own as a Reiki Master and I have been teaching and working with others since and it's it's been such a joy. So

Katie: 6:41

when you say teaching, are you teaching other people how to become Reiki Masters? Are you teaching people to do Reiki on themselves?

Athena: 6:51

Well, if that depends on what level that the person wants to learn, so what's interesting with the book is and it was really important for me, because Reiki is a gift that should be enjoyed by all you know, and in, in the Reiki circles, there's a lot of secrecy around it, there's a lot of like, you know, this kind of raised raised noses about, you know, how we shouldn't share and you have to, you know, really go through the process of learning before you can enjoy this energy. And I just kind of disagree with that ideology. As we learn in Reiki all the way through, it's that it is everywhere, and everybody has the opportunity and the ability to channel this now how, how open your channel is really, you know, becomes apparent as you study. But you know, for level one, that's a gift for everybody. So in the book I have, it's, it's called a self attunement, but it's really, it's really me, I made sure the publisher, both for the audio and the print, gave me the final cuts before it went to print. So that I could do my Reiki blessing, my attunement, on that on those pages on those words, to really make it an authentic and valid attunement for people and just to allow them to be open. And so my publisher was really accommodating in that way, she was lovely, and like, made sure like, oh, we gotta get her this before we send it out and gave me the time to work with it. And so in Reiki level one, this, which is really your introduction to Reiki, and being able to channel for yourself, for your immediate friends, family, loved ones, even your pads, you don't learn so much about the pets and level one, but you definitely learn how to channel this energy and just tune in is really what it is you're tuning into it. And then if you decide, you know, you really love this, and this is, you know, this is for you, you feel called to it, you can then go ahead and continue and actually study it, you know, as a practice, but for just our general population just for you know, our moms or sisters or brothers, you can have access to this beautiful healing energy and really take your power back in healing yourself, because that's what I did. And it's just been such a gift and a blessing on my own life. I feel like it's something that deserves to be shared. So then, you know, if you want to go on and really get into it and be a practitioner, then you would definitely need a Reiki Master to help you and guide you and, and that's where I can help with that. Or you can find someone you know, that you really resonate with, because that's going to be important.

Amy: 9:40

Just stepping back for a second for someone who doesn't know what Reiki is at all. Can you kind of give us a overview of what it is what it means. What if it works? Yeah, it does. Yes,

Athena: 9:52

what works. So Reiki is an energy healing modality. And it is Reiki stands for or means translates universal life force energy is also, you know, it's like the highest vibration of love, right? You are channeling this beautiful just think of it as love. So when someone is working with this and they're not familiar with the energy Well, when you think of love, you are raising your, you know your vibration to this, which is essentially Reiki. So for example, you know, let's say you have a little one, and he or she falls and scrapes their knee, the immediate response initially is to put your hands over the auchi, and then you know, mom or dad or whoever the caretaker will is will come over and and also do the same thing. There'll be touch involved. And sometimes you know, it'll be like my, you know, kissing the booboo on the head or on the knee. And you know, for that child, suddenly, it feels better. Well, why does it feel better? Is it just a comfort thing? Well, you know, as we believe in the energy healing community, you are channeling that divine energy and that love to the source of where the hurt was where the pain was. And it works like this in in everything in life in our emotional pain or physical pain or mental pain, heartaches. You know, everything you can think and I guess you could envision like channeling as in, kind of like calling, calling in this divine healing light. Now, depending on your faith, Reiki has no affiliation with any kind of faith. So it's really personal to the person, you know, depending on your faith, let's say you know, it's in God, it's in universe source, spirit, plants, whatever, people are really drawn to just think of your channeling that love and that energy from your higher source to your your place of pain. And by doing that, you're really like loving on that, on that area that needs healing. So that's kind of the best way would know how to how to describe what we're doing when we channel Reiki energy. So just think of like,

Amy: 12:07

someone comes to see you, they would typically come because they're trying to overcome something or they have something they want to release, and then you would help them to do that using Reiki healing does that,

Athena: 12:19

once it's like that, sometimes it's a matter of releasing, you know, I'll have a lot of clients that come that have, you know, childhood traumas, and we work through those traumas and help them to release that emotional attachment to the trauma, obviously, I can't go back and erase it for them, I can't take it back, it's already done. But you can go back and remove the emotional attachment to that pain. So then the person can go move forward and, and heal and, and I'm, I'm not necessarily the healer, I guess I'm the I'm the channel, I'm the conduit, I'm, I bring in that energy for them. And then it's up to the person to really open and receive this so that they can heal. So I'm just kind of setting the stage, it's kind of like when you have a car when you you know, you have to keep it clean, you have to give it some Neosporin you know, a band aid, but your body is what does the actual healing, not the band aid, not the Neosporin that's just right, setting the stage. So it's much the same with Reiki but I'll also have people that come that have, you know, chronic headaches or anxiety is a big one, especially during the pandemic, I saw a lot of people for anxiety it was it was incredible what kind of surge we had an anxiety and depression and doing you know, performing Reiki for them and they did a lot of distance work during this time. It really helped them just calm, you know, take a pause and calm on, you know, that stress and those nerves and so that they can continue with their life and be productive and enjoy their relationships. When we're struggling with these kinds of emotional and mental issues really does affect everything in our life, you know, our careers, our families, our relationships. So being able to give them that kind of sense of peace really helped them to be able to move forward and, and have some clarity and their purpose and balanced chakras is always you know, a plus, right? Because when everything is flowing within your energetic body, you know, everything in your outside world works better to you're like manifesting that balance into your physical world. So that kind of makes sense.

Katie: 14:33

Absolutely. And and you just mentioned chakras, when you are performing Reiki is it it always involves balancing one of the seven chakras or multiple chakras. Is that always part of the practice?

Athena: 14:46

It's always part of my practice. Yes, when I work with someone, you're really able to tune in to their energy and when you when you do this, they call it bias and scanning but it's basically you know, holding your hand and above them, and you can just feel where there's something out of alignment where there's some kind of, you know, you can call it a blockage, you can call it an imbalance, it's, it's all kind of the same thing or just, you know, an area where energy is not flowing. And you'll also feel worse in areas pulling more energy, like, yes, please, you know, like that kind of that kind of sensation, I guess. And, you know, so I'll definitely work on the chakras. And sometimes it's more than one most often, it's more than one just because, you know, they all work together, they're all you know, like this, if you just imagine like a Trinity saying, like an eight, if you have any dip in any area there, you you know, the whole thing doesn't flow. So usually you'll have a couple that are an applies to whatever's going on in their life, they're often the clients are surprised, like, wow, that's, you know, yeah, exactly. Like, I'm not able to speak from a place of love, because I'm actually hurting hearing my heart center. So what's coming out doesn't, it's not what I mean to say it's just coming from a place of pain. So working with those two chakras, just, for example, really opens that flow and helps them one to heal and to, to be able to share their own truth and from a place of love with those around them. So it's, it's interesting, and then a lot of the time to will, for example, you'll have a blockage down it, so your root or your sacral chakra, and this is also a place that they're having a lot of pain. So working on that area, you're, you're working on that pain, but you're also working on, you know, opening that flow of energy, you know, it's almost like a protection mechanism from the body, like when you have pain, it kind of shuts down, you know, your muscles get tight, everything kind of shuts down and pulls in, and it works the same energetically. So we want to we want to open that and allow allow energy to flow and allow the person you know, the best stage that we can give them so they can heal. Okay,

Katie: 17:01

this is this whole thing really blows my mind. And I just want to say this really quickly, I pulled up your book, which by the way, we should say the name of your book, raise your vibes energy, self healing for everyone. It's a beautiful book. So when I went into the chakras, the seven chakras crown third eye, throat, heart, solar plexus, sacral, and root. And then in the book you explain which chakra is responsible for, for what areas and what you're going to feel when they're off and what you're going to feel when they're working well, et cetera. Some of this blew my mind. I mean, really helpful. I honestly. So the adrenal cortex, the route and the route is like your lower back, right, like down and down in your

Athena: 17:48

one word? Yeah, maybe. So yeah,

Katie: 17:51

I have adrenal insufficiency. So my adrenal cortex is a hot mess all the time. And I always have problems there. I'm always like, very, very tight and very sore. Anytime anyone like massages my lower back in that area, it actually hurts, it doesn't feel good. So that really kind of threw me. And then you know, I have thyroid problems. So it says like expressions with creativity and communication are unable to speak your truth or creative block. I get that all the time. And it drives me insane. So this really it's like it's so spot on, it really kind of, it just blew my mind. So

Amy: 18:26

and what we're looking at in the book, for our listeners, it's a chart that basically lists out all the chakras, and then it has, what it is how you should feel the emotional energy signs of imbalance. And so it's a really like simple kind of breakdown breakdown of what it is and what it means. So you can really go through it and determine if you're, you know, have a blockage anywhere. So in terms of how you're healing people, and this is just because I've never done it before, and probably our listeners are new to Reiki as well. If let's say, you know, Katie's having imbalance in her route or her lower back area. What do you actually do? Is it crystals isn't meditation like what's the process,

Athena: 19:05

I'm a crystal Reiki master. Well, I have a Reiki Master but then I love crystal Reiki. So using crystals as healing modalities and tools to add to my practice, I find really helpful for example, because let's say you know, you're you're having an issue with creative block, right? And you want to deal with this right now. But when you're going in for your Reiki session, Reiki is being pulled to your root chakra where you're having, you know, your adrenal issues, right. So you you want it over here, and Reiki intuitively is like Oh, but we need to work on on over here. So what's really nice about and you know, when you enter crystals, is you're able to kind of focus and direct energy to where the person really wants that place that focus where they feel like they want it and it's important, while Reiki also will be channeling to where you know for your highest good where you really need it. So when you're working with the chakras, you know, you always want to start at the bottom and work your way up, right. So when you start, you have that really strong root chakra, it's much easier to, you know, kind of go up the ladder there, to keep everything balanced and everything whole. So think of yourself as like, you know, you're like a balloon, right? And his everybody wants to work on like, third eye, for example, you know, he's like, I want to be open and intuitive, and psychic, and all this stuff. And it's like, okay, that's all great. But you're this balloon. And if you're working on that third eye alone, your balloon is just like floating up in the sky with no anchor, right, you're just, you're just kind of all over the place. But when you when you work on your root chakra, and you have that strong, steady base, you know, you're kind of free to fly and free to explore. And so that's really important. And a practice when you're working on a person is to give them that strong base, and then work on the other chakras to make sure everything is open and balanced, but they stay grounded. At the same time, you know, all of these, these issues that we have that come up really manifest from where we're out of alignment energetically. So it's kind of like, hopefully, you could think of it with manifesting when you're manifesting. And you're thinking, you know, I want that house in Connecticut. But then at the back of your mind, you're like, but I can't, I can't get it because I you know, my jobs in Maryland, or, you know, I can't quite afford that mortgage, and you start giving yourself all these reasons that you can't You're it's like you just sabotaged your own dream, you just told yourself, I want this. And that's it. No, I can't have it. So you know, when you're working with Reiki, it's really nice. You can also channel that energy to, you know, what you're manifesting in your dreams and what you want for your life so that you're, you're also unblocking your own, you know, self sabotage. And that's really helpful for clients that come in to I mean, everybody's different. So whatever everybody's, you know, their focuses, crystal energy works really well for their specific focus. But then Reiki will also help them where you know, they need it most for their highest good. So it's, I really find that it's a beautiful union. And crystals are from the earth, right, so it's this beautiful grounding energy as well. While Reiki is universal. So you have that gorgeous spirit source universal energy. So it's kind of like you give them that strong base, and they're safe to fly. Does that, that kind of, yeah, make sense of it for that. For those that don't know how Reiki works? That's kind of that's kind of how it works. It's really, it's really a beautiful thing. It changed my life in the most amazing ways. I mean, look, I'm here talking to you guys now. I mean, it's so it's, it's I've met so many wonderful people and, you know, wrote a book and healed myself to it.

Amy: 22:54

I think you said five years ago or so?

Athena: 22:57

Yes. Yeah. Well, I had well, now it's how many years were 21 years ago? Oh, gosh, him? He just getting away with me? Yeah, over 20 years ago, I had a really crazy car accident where I rolled over four times in a convertible on the freeway, just Oh, my basketball for those that don't have freeways yet landed upside down on the, you know, next to a mountain. And it was it was one of those, you know, Pivotal, life changing moments that I didn't realize at the time was so life changing. And I walked away didn't have you know, even a scratch. Every glass was shattered in my car. But when I got out and thought, yeah, no, it was It was wild. And the person who hit me didn't even stop like didn't even Yeah, don't even have no idea who that was. What happened. All I knew is it was a white car. So these beautiful women though these four four women and I think they were sisters to actually had pulled over and helped me and like got me managed to get me out of this crazy car and, you know, talked through to the paramedics and police because there they couldn't understand, you know, what's this girl doing? alone at night on the side of the road upside down? Like how does that even happen? You know, are you drinking like look, I'm like, No, well, like no, I he hit me. What do you mean like look at my car and they were amazing. They saw it they helped me through and even though you know they will they thought I broke my neck. So thank God I didn't apparently remember as a common injury. So I went through all the MRIs and all the testing, but they never checked my lower back. And so you know, within, you know, a year even I suddenly had like, I had episodes where I couldn't walk. And we found out of course, I had been married my husband who's a chiropractor, which, you know, know that divine timing. I was like, well, you marry him. It's like okay, so Oh, you know, he worked on me this poor guy, he worked with me for 16 years trying to help me manage my pain. And I take in all of it everything in western medicine I've tried, and you know, from pain pills to therapies to, you know, and then finally, and then surgery, I had a fusion surgery, my L five s one. And, you know, none of these things were were helping me was working. I mean, I really, and I had had three kids, meanwhile, which every pregnancy also put, you know, additional stress. And it got to a point where I was like, I can't I can't do this anymore. I don't want to live like this. And I, I'm always on edge, I'm irritated. I'm in pain, like, this is not the way I want to live. I've tried everything, like there has to be another way. There's just there has to be another way you can't tell me this is the end of the line, and I'm going to be on pain medication for the rest of my life. Like I am not going to accept that. And so when I went in for my fusion surgery, and by then I had started taking, you know, Reiki classes and started learning and I got my first master's at this point, which I really felt helped direct me to the correct surgeon. Because that was a whole nother story that we don't have time for Shambo kazoos. Oh, that was nice. That just the process of finding someone. And in the when I was in the hospital, in an incredible, incredible amount of of pain, like my jaw was rattling my, you know, I couldn't breathe sobbing, you know, very dramatic, you know, situation and my husband leans over me and this and that we're on like, day five post off and I should have been out of there day one. So we don't know what happened there. But my husband leans over me and he's like, a theme that you're a Reiki Master, for God's sakes do Reiki on yourself, like in the desperate plea and it was this like moment of like, didn't you know, like this, like, the lights went on. And I was like, I can do that. I can do that. Like, oh my god, okay, you know, when I started doing, you know, my hand motions and channeling energy to myself and 3045 seconds into this, my jaw stopped rattling my breath came back to me. Suddenly, I could see in the room, there were actually all these people there at that I didn't even know were there. And it was just this really incredible moment of validation from my work, but also just, wow, I can really do this. And you know, usually Reiki is done in this nice, quiet, serene, you know, you're on a massage table. And those lights, you know, are like, you know, music and crystals and maybe some incense. And it's so nice, like a spiritual massage, right? It's this beautiful spiritual massage you're receiving. This was not that kind of environment. This was like hospital traumatic pain meds, the whole works. And I was a disaster. So that I was able to channel this in such an intense moment in my life, and really receive that calm and that clarity. And that, you know, just a release of this pain from my physical body was really such an incredible moment where it was like, Oh, my God, this is not just something that's like fun, and I love it. Like, this really, really works. Like this is something that really works. People need to know, I need to share this, like, how do I do that? What's the best way to start sharing with people? How do I do this? And it was from there, you know, everything kind of, you know, took took a life of its own, it grew incredibly, it was like, wow, okay, yeah, so I'm right, like people need to know, and they were really drawn to it, it was really cool. And, and, and now we have raise your vibes that's out in the world, and, you know, hopefully serving its purpose in helping others and, you know, learn about themselves and learn how to take their power back, because I've tried everything in western medicine. And I'm not saying that Western medicine is bad, and we should disregard it. Absolutely not. Like I would never say that, because I've used so much of it myself, and my husband's chiropractor. So you know, that would be kind of counterintuitive, but they work really well together. It's almost like Reiki and crystal energy comes in and fills in the gaps where Western medicine, you know, lacks, they're really great at treating symptoms. But then Reiki can come in and get to the source. And so between the two it's just a really beautiful union between them and and I hope that's expressed and clear in the book, raise your vibes to because I definitely have used all of it. And the whole point of this book was to empower people to you know, take your power back your power. Gorgeous, incredible vessel, you're you're this body of how many millions and millions of tiny little pieces and cells and energy. And, you know, if you can work those together in harmony, you, you know, you can get to the root source of where you're having pain. That is because that pain is manifesting into your life into your physical life into your, you know, your, you know, your daily life, but also into your physical body. So by working on that source, and getting to the root of issues with something so gentle, as Reiki, you really have this, you know, a way of empowering yourself to heal. So you can be your own band aid, be your own Neosporin, you know, and help yourself to heal. So that's, that's kind of takes away from teaching. But that's okay, that wasn't the point.

Amy: 30:54

Beautiful. I mean, I've so many things to say. But I will say, it's like, that story is incredible. So thank you for sharing it with us. A couple of things I found interesting is that well, first of all, that take back your power just like resonated with me. Because I think a lot of times when you have an ailment, you kind of surrender to it, and it overtakes you. But if you kind of switch your mindset and take it back, then it allows you to bring in other things. So thank you for sharing that with us. But in terms of your story, it's incredible. And I also think it's really interesting that you were attracted to Reiki somehow before the surgery because it almost like somehow the universe told you you need to like look into this Reiki because when you have this surgery, you're going to be in pain, and you're going to need a way to relieve yourself. So it's just so interesting to me how that happened. Yeah, before and then it was sort of your calling thereafter. So that's just incredible.

Katie: 31:47

Yeah. And also to, to what Amy take your point, Amy of saying taking your power back. Like what you said you could have succumbed to years of just being in this pain and taking these pain medications and so many people do because they just have a hard time seeing that there can be so much more. And it's just so empowering what you've done and this book, I mean, it can really help people it's so beautiful. I personally from my own health issues know exactly what it's like to want to throw in the towel and to give up and you just you have to say no, it's like why can't we have optimum health? Why can't we feel great? Why do I have to succumb to this? So thank you. It's it's really empowering and beautiful.

Athena: 32:32

No, I'm I'm so glad that helps you and you know resonates for your own life because it's so true. Yeah, you take your power back, you've got this, you know, your your your goddess, get it, do it right.

Amy: 32:48

We hope you enjoy part one with Athena. Stay tuned for part two next week where we go into her book, raise your vibes and talk about some chapters that we think are helpful. We go through meditation we go through mantras we talk about signs and numbers and angels and it's just a really fascinating conversation. So stay tuned for part two. Thanks, Nirvana. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 34 - 8 Well-Being And Beauty Trends To Buzz About In 2022 (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 34 Well-Being And Beauty Trends To Buzz About In 2022.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: 0:06

Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie: 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy: 0:28

Hello, Nirvana sisters, and welcome to 2022. Katie and I are actually coming to the last week of the new year. We have some extra time this week, because we're both home with COVID Unfortunately, but fortunately for you, we are able to now take a fun 2022 wellness trends episode earlier than expected. So, with that being said, it's been quite a winter break for Katie and I so we're gonna just start with our nirvana of the day week. Katie, I'll hand it to you.

Katie: 1:00

Thanks, Amy. Well, Happy New Year. Family, it's great to be back. We missed producing for you guys and everything. But we needed a little bit of a break. So we're excited to come to you with new and fun content in the new year. So my Nirvana I think, this week, because like Amy said, we have COVID circulating in our entire family, we've all pretty much taken a turn. And it's forced us to quarantine. And as dull and as boring as that can get. It's actually you know, it's done like the same thing that it did when the world shut down a year ago, we've just really been focusing on family togetherness with my kids and my husband, and we're cooking together and we're playing together and we're watching movies together. Just we're really, there's no distractions, essentially. So that has been my nirvana. It's we've we've all been really present and focused with each other. It's been great. What about you, Amy?

Amy: 1:57

Awesome. Yes, I would say that. And I would also say that I've been watching a lot of TV and binging on a lot of shows and like laying in bed with coffee and watching TV on interrupted, which is like amazing. So that's been nice just to like have some downtime, and also some time to myself to just like literally do nothing and space out on TV and shows. So that's been fun. So getting into our 2022 trends. So Katie, and I've been doing some research and over the last few weeks, and there's a lot of new trends. Katie, I'm sure you've read to coming into 2022. I picked a few that I particularly liked and wanted to talk about, and also some ones that I think are appropriate to our show, because we have some guests coming up that tie in with our trends. And so I can start if you want me to do the first one I found Yeah,

Katie: 2:50

that's here. And

Amy: 2:52

okay, so I was reading through the Whelan, goods wellness Trends report. And one of the things that popped not surprising is at home beauty tools and devices. So we talked about this a bunch last year, I know we had our Shelly Marshall episode we have we've had two episodes with her, our resident beauty shaman and we talked about microcurrent devices, specifically the new face. But essentially what I was reading in the well and good report was that led masks might go current devices, they've all you know existed before 2020. But there's just going to be even more higher rates of use of this stuff. Because I think what they're what they were saying is people got used to doing this stuff at home. And we're experimenting this through 2020 20 and 2021, since they couldn't see their facial list and take care of their skin as much as they would prior to so there's going to be more use of this and people. They call it a trend forecaster from wgsn termed it tech septons. So meaning that people are getting more comfortable with these kind of devices and doing it at home and mixing it still in with their esthetician, etc. But just more people are continuing to be using these devices. So I definitely agree with that. I've been trying to use mine more. One of the stats I found two, which I thought was interesting is as of 2020, the global home use beauty device market was valued at approximately 9.5 billion in 2020. And according to this report by a market research firm, PNS intelligence it's expected to grow to nearly 90 billion in the next decades. So this is just a growing category that we'll continue to take a look at. I know one of the things that I have on my list to buy this year is a red light, I guess it's there's this there's this product called Juve that I've been reading about and it's like red light therapy where you can get a small one for your desk or people have large ones in their home. And I think it's something that you can stand in front of for like 510 minutes a day. And it has all the benefits of red light therapy. And it's funny because I remember in the show that we talked about algae with Katherine aaronson. She had has come from doing her red light therapy, which she definitely mentioned as being a trend and something people are gonna be really interested in. So I've been seeing a lot more about that. So I'm excited to research that and just overall more at home stuff. Okay, moving on, what is your number two trend? Katie will

Katie: 5:15

really quickly I think, also in regards to your Trend at home stuff, do you think also that there has been a hole filled in the market where they're making more of these at home items that are just like maybe more readily available, they're not quite as expensive as maybe they were a couple of years ago. It's just more accessible to the consumer.

Amy: 5:36

I think it's more accessible. I think a lot of brands I've seen are like jumping into this space, because it is so popular, but I think you have to be careful because I think there are some that are FDA approved, and some that aren't. So I know that the one the new face that I bought from Shelley is FDA approved. So I feel good about this. I know that Juve is FDA approved. So I think you have to be careful with which ones you buy, to make sure that they're approved. And they work. But yeah, I've seen I feel like more of this stuff on the market over the last year, and I'm sure it will continue to grow.

Katie: 6:03

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, well, I have a couple of trends that I find interesting. And some I use, some I haven't used, but I know people that do. And mine is the use of psychedelics for therapy. I actually have a friend that has done this to get over post traumatic stress. And also she happens to be a doctor. And so she is studying up on it herself, and, and potentially getting certified to be able to administer psychedelics herself as a therapist. So the reason why people are doing it is because these drugs are believed to work by affecting neural circuits that use neurotransmitter serotonin. So it puts you into a very relaxed state, it gives you all of these like senses of improved well being, you feel very introspective. So it makes it easier for someone in the right scenario with a doctor in a very safe environment to open up about things that maybe they've repressed or that they just have a hard time talking about, to process all of it. So drugs, I mean, I shouldn't maybe drugs is not the the best term to use. But when I think of things like MDMA, and ayahuasca, that's what I think of, but those are these are the psychedelics that they're using MDMA, Ayahuasca, they're also using LSD Sylow, psilocybin, better known psilocybin is also magic mushrooms. So I think it's more or less like micro doses that doctors are giving people. Now, it needs to be noted that these are not legal yet. It's all in like, trial studies, or doctors that are, you know, a little bit progressive and willing to go out on a limb. Like it's not necessarily easy to find this right now. But it's coming. It's we're getting very close to to this being more readily available. What is legal, are ketamine clinics, ketamine, is what I was reading about to yeah, there's actually a ketamine clinic in New York City, that is having really great success with treating patients with it. So I don't know, I don't know that something I would ever be interested in doing. It makes me a little nervous. But my friend that did it had massive, massive benefit from it. I mean, she processed an incredibly traumatic event in her life that she wouldn't have been able to handle otherwise. But again, something that you're going to want to be very careful with and talk to doctors about. And it's not something you're gonna just experiment with and do at home on your own. This is like a whole other ballgame than tripping out on, you know, LSD, it's, it's not the same thing. So be very safe. If you are interested in doing it go about it the right way.

Amy: 9:07

Yeah, I am. It's funny, I have that as one of my trends as well. And what I did read also, which I thought was interesting, and you just mentioned it was that ketamine is the only psychedelic legally available that is available for mental health patients, which I keep hearing more about that. And then the other thing that I had read about this movement is that they've shown significant promise and treating certain mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, etc. And then it said, also for some stats here, it said, the US depression rate has tripled since the start of COVID-19, with nearly 33% of adults reporting depression symptoms according to the Lancet, regional health, America's anxiety is on the rise, as well as symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, particularly among healthcare workers and COVID-19 survivor survivor so I know that we've been trying to get a gasps just to learn more about this, I agree with you, I don't think I would ever do this. This like, totally freaks me out. I don't like to be out of control. But I guess if you did have a traumatic if you had something traumatic that you couldn't get over, I would definitely do this or if someone in my life was having depression and wasn't able to get over it, I would recommend it. I just think that it's I don't know, it's scary, but I see a

Katie: 10:21

thing. It's not go ahead. And you just said being out of control. I understand. I get the fear of that as well. I think the whole point is, is that it's done in an extremely controlled environment.

Amy: 10:33

Right. So a doctor's with you the whole Yes,

Katie: 10:35

yeah. Yeah, but still, but still like freaks me out nonetheless. I mean, you know, it's

Amy: 10:40

totally i There is an episode I think I was mentioning this to Katie, there's an episode there was this some show on Netflix called goop labs or something like that. And they had a series of different new types of treatments. And one of the episodes was all focused on psychedelics it was out a few years ago, and I watched it and they all were all the people that were trying it went I think you watch to to Katie went to this retreat and like Costa Rica somewhere and tried it, and it really helps a lot of people. But anyway, if our listeners if you guys want to learn more about it, there's that episode on Netflix, but just an interesting trend that I'm sure we'll start to read more about. Moving on. Okay. One of the things that I read there is a report from Pinterest every year called Pinterest predicts, which I thought was really interesting and had like tons of different trends. So we'll we'll put the link up, because it's basically based on searches that people are looking for in Pinterest. So one of the trends that they labeled under wellness trends was called level up. And this is basically saying that Gen Z are looking for ways to raise their vibration and searching for spiritual awakening, and even aura colors. So the searches that are trending here are how to raise your vibration, which is up 145%, how to protect your energy, which is up 60% and frequency healing inquiries, which is up 35%. So this is a good segue because Katie and I interviewed someone named Athena Bari, which we're really excited to have that episode, I think it's going to be launching after this one. And she just launched a book called raise your vibration. So it was good to see that this is something that people are interested in. So stay tuned for that. What? What other trends are you seeing Katie?

Katie: 12:19

So this next trend is something that I do that I i actually have to do it for my health. But at one point, I had to go to the hospital for it. And now I can just go to a spa, it's IV therapy. So IV therapy, and also the use of an A D IV therapy is becoming very trendy, it's very readily available. There is a spa near me called Restore hyper wellness there, they have like 100 locations all over the place, they offer it and you essentially just go in and you get IV fluids and they have all of these different boosters. Depending on kind of like what you think you feel what you feel you need. You can get vitamin C boosters, vitamin D boosters, you can get, like collagen and all these things for your skin, your hair, your nails, like things for muscle recovery. I do it just because of my Addison's disease, I go in and get fluids just to rehydrate. But I asked her I said, you know how many people come in here to like get over a hangover. And she said, shockingly, that's not all because she said we get a lot of people that are very health conscious. And they come in they do it once a week because they want to feel great. They want to be hydrated, and they just want to be like starting their week out. Right. So then I find interesting because I literally used to have to go to the emergency room to get that done. Now I don't have to So yay for that. But the other awesome. Yeah. The other really cool thing though, is that they're offering with the IV therapy is an A D IV therapy. And a D is a coenzyme. There's many benefits to it has it's helped people aid in addiction recovery. It's reduces pain, it affects like inflammation and everything. It can improve your cognitive function, it can boost your energy, it can improve your athletic performance, it's good for weight management, it reverses signs of aging, it can also delay or prevent the onset of certain diseases. But it's much more I don't want to use the word invasive. It's just a much bigger process than going in for IV therapy one afternoon like I do, what I do is I go to this place they hook me up to an IV I sit in a massage chair and I look at Instagram for an hour. This you're going in and you're there for the entire day. And you have to do like three or four you know visits with it and it's incredibly expensive. But but the nurse that that did it she told me that people come in, you know, like if someone is if their health is deteriorating, maybe they're like have autoimmunity kicking in or something like that. This is a good way to potentially stop that and like do an overhaul in your body and become healthy again.

Amy: 14:55

Yeah, I think I just heard a podcast about this. I think it was skinny confidential. Lauren and Michael Bostick were talking about this with these doctors. And they said it's I think he had done it and she wanted to do it he said he felt so incredible afterwards I think it was the same thing. So yeah, that's interesting. And I have a restore wellness near me, which I've been meaning to go to. My friend, my friend Sherry goes all the time and I've been wanting to go with her just haven't had a chance, but it's right around the corner for me. So I definitely want to try that and start incorporating that into my wellness this year. Because I think that will really help to kind of keep keep you your immunity up, especially now that we have both of COVID I think it's important to to keep that so that's awesome that it's near you and near me too. So yeah, for that I've only done it once. And it was for a hangover when I was in Nashville.

Katie: 15:40

Yeah, I've done it when I've been hungover too but there it's it's available in a lot of places. When I when I moved out of New York City, it was just then becoming available where you could actually have someone come to your house and do it for you. But now it's like everywhere I mean med spas have it and I feel like it's reasonably priced at this restore hyper wellness, they actually provide memberships so membership now so it's great. It's good. I think we're probably going to see a lot more of it. So yeah, so yeah, I

Amy: 16:09

think I think it those types of med spas or restore on one's like it they have like those hyperbaric chambers Yes. Like the cold therapy and they have those LED light boots and all that stuff. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. Okay, so moving on. I was reading some nail news in a lor laura.com And here are the eight biggest manicure trends to expect in 2002. So I'm just going to read them off really quickly. Multicolored digits so essentially like all different color nails in one set, which is cute. French versus American manicure. So like the classic versus you know a lot of those American manicures you see and I didn't even know it was called American manicure and I've done it before where you have like fun colors on the tip or different ways to do the manicure not just like the straight line but it's like a diamond or whatever. So that is going to be trending next year. Neutrals neutrals and more neutrals, they said time to DIY DIY sees me which I think definitely got a resurgence over COVID I know that I review the product man me which I still love and use here and there. And I've seen so many nail companies coming out with press on nails, sticker nails, etc. So more of that. 3d decals so fun like pearls and diamonds on like little things to put on your nails to judge them up. Waves work swirls, waves and swirls on nude bases. So really cool designs related to that category. And then the last one they talked about was mixed textures, like you know, a solid on one nail and lines on the other and zigzags on the other and just kind of like playing with fun, different textures. So I'm always looking for new nail fun designs when I go in. So that's what I read on the lore about nails.

Katie: 17:52

My Girls would love that. I'm usually like I either go dark or either go super neutral. I don't like it too funky with it. But I think it's so cool when people do I think it's really cute.

Amy: 18:02

Yeah, I like to go funky with it. Yeah,

Katie: 18:04

I love it. Sometimes it looks great. Yeah, so Did your mom your mom always has like blues and purples and that she gets like yeah, just like playful with it. It's great. Alright, so my next one is something that just kind of popped up. It's funny, I was like inadvertently doing this. And then I stumbled across that this is a trend and we're gonna start to see it more. So we've all heard of veganism. We've all heard of vegetarianism, have you heard of reduce a terian ism, reduce it now. Sounds made up but it is not. So essentially what it is, it's eating less eggs, dairy meat, for the betterment of the planet for your own personal motivations. It's basically you know, people want to push being vegan and vegetarian for you know, the environment and reducing our carbon footprint and, and cleaner water and all of these amazing benefits that eating less meat, dairy eggs would do for the world, but it's very daunting. A vegetarian or vegan diet can really freak people out, right? I mean, who doesn't love a nice ribeye steak I do. So right, this is a way that is really approachable to participate in, you know, trying to improve the environment, reduce your carbon footprint, everything like that without going you know the full monty without totally giving up all the eggs. If you eat eggs for breakfast every day, eat eggs for breakfast once or twice a week. If you put milk in your coffee and your cereal, put almond milk on your cereal, like just like little minimal switches that actually make a huge, huge difference. So this is just a small little way that you can contribute. And also it's good for you. Oh, we all know that eating more plants is really good for you. It fights diabetes, it fights cardiovascular issues. It's good for weight management. So Yeah, I started doing it to help with COVID, I just cut back the amount of meat that I was eating in the last few days just because I feel like I get inflammation when I eat too much of it. And the more plants I eat, you know, the better I'm going to feel sooner rather than later. So that's inadvertently I'm doing reduce at Arianism.

Amy: 20:16

Yeah, it's interesting that you say that because I know we did that episode on plant based diet, which was really educating about if you want to be plant based, here's how to do it. But this is just kind of like a toe in the water. To that it sounds like you're reducing it, which I think you and I probably do intuitively, but you're reducing it instead of not having it at all. So you still get a little bit of it. But you're thinking about ways to reduce it more so for the planet and your health, of course, but I know we talked about in that episode, just egg, which I just wanted to bring up again, because that's a great way to still have eggs, but it's not made from eggs. And so I know that company is kind of exploding right now. I've seen it all over the place since we talked about it. And they're also coming up with new technology. I think, like they have the egg products, but I think they're coming out with chicken. Oh, wow. But I know that they have some new innovations coming out in that space. So it's interesting to see all of these brands and companies coming out to help to embrace the plant based lifestyle and reduce the terian ism. So interesting. Okay, so the next one, I think is relevant for all of us and a lot of women specifically and it is called. This again is from the Pinterest predict study that I read. And it's fin powermat. So managing your money like a boss in 2022 people will take money matters into their own hands as they set out on new journeys towards financial literacy. So millennials are driving the searches behind investment tips, financial education and investment property for beginners. So investment tips was up 195% This year, passive income tips are up 35% financial education was up 155% Financial Planning bullet journal was up 90%. And investment property for beginners was up 45%. So super important. We have someone coming on the show a lot of fun and a couple of episodes that is going to talk all about fin Powerman. But I think it's interesting to see that this is a rising trend. I think obviously this category has always been important. But I think more and more it seems that younger millennials and people just coming into the workforce are not only looking to save money through or 401k. But they're looking for how can I invest and there's all these apps now people aren't using like the traditional banking methods anymore. They're using all of these new apps like Robin Hood, and Katie, you are seeing you're using one name Alibaba, there's all these new ways to manage your money. And I think it's interesting that people are looking now for a lot more ways to not only diversify their income, but even make more money side hustles, etc. So any thoughts on this one? Katie?

Katie: 22:55

Yeah, I mean, I just I think it's great. I think it's so empowering. I know, as a young 20 Something I was never really taught money management from my parents, it was not really my dad's strong suit, like even my brothers and I, we all had to kind of learn that on our own. So I found myself kind of leaning more towards my husband to take the reins on that. And then a couple years ago, I was sick of being in the dark. And I educated myself on all of our finances. And now you know, I can look into our portfolio whenever and I know everything that's going on constantly, and it is so empowering. It makes such a huge difference. I just I think it's I think it's brilliant. I'm, I'm very happy that the world is going in that direction instead of people just kind of flying by the seat of their pants, hoping that their paychecks are gonna make ends meet and everything's gonna be okay. So yeah, I think that's, that's great. I'm excited to talk to this guest this that's coming up about it.

Amy: 23:53

Yeah, it's interesting that you say that I think growing up, we probably I don't think we talked about like financial planning so much. But we did talk about managing money, somewhat. But I think now it's much more open and relevant, because Stu is always talking to the kids about different investments he's doing or different ways were diversifying our money. We both talked about it. And I've been getting more educated as well. I mean, I've always been somewhat, you know, financially savvy, but not in the way that Stu is. And he's taught me a lot. But I've also invested in a few companies myself this year, and just in a way to teach myself how to do investing or how to follow companies or startups and different things. So yeah, I'm excited to learn more about this.

Katie: 24:36

Those are great trends and very exciting. And I am super pleased to say that we have a lot of guests that are going to touch on most of those topics, actually that we just covered. So look forward to that. And yeah, Amy, you have one more

Amy: 24:52

Yeah, I have one last trend just like I did a nail speed round. I'm going to do a beauty speed round. I did some researching here. I'm quoting a website called Pure Wow which talks about nine beauty trends that they're predicting are going to be big next year according to the pros that they interview so the first one is glitter so glitter and shadow and makeup you know that's still I think that's been around but I think more so that they're gonna we're gonna see more of that line lips so this 90 is inspired trend like the welds of my life and it's funny because I've been looking at a lot of, I don't know tiktoks Instagram rails lately of people using like a new liner with a new lipstick and I actually just saw this yesterday and I wanted to get this Tom Ford lipstick because it was so pretty and of course it's sold out but that's definitely starting to trend so like that lined lips with lipstick look, double winged liner which I've seen here and there. It's kind of cool. I don't know how into it I will be but definitely fun to see and really creative looks people are using with double winged liner statement blush. So different ways to use blush, whether using it not just on your cheeks, but using it for contour. I also read about people using purple for blush, so people just playing around with a lot of blush, which I love. Peekaboo highlights, so people doing highlights, but more kind of like under their hair or on the bottoms. Just fun little ways to put highlights in your hair. Modern day mullet which I hate. You're seeing celebrities kind of embrace the mullet look, which I think is yeah, I've seen it like they were showing an example of Rihanna with some like mullet look which I can't stand. But anyway, it was on the list, long layers, which I think have been kind of in style, but like the curtain bangs, then the long layers, so that's a fun one. Another one is textured hair, which is kind of like that look where you have waves, but it looks kind of wet and texturing. So that's another one that I read about. And then the last one I read about was gender fluid beauty. So products being launched that are gender inclusive, which is great. So that is my beauty Speed Round, nice, I guess our trends Nirvana sisters family, like Katie said a lot of this stuff we'll be covering over the year. And I think there are so many more that were exciting. But these were the ones that kind of popped for us and things that we thought were relevant to our audience. But we'll put in all of these links in our show notes, you can read more about all these trends and different sources to find them. So super fun. It was I love doing this and kind of going in and reading about stuff and coming back as a reporter and talking about all these different trends. So so this is our first episode doing trends, but I think it's something that we should probably look to throughout the year to do little short episodes around trends or little, little, you know, topics that our listeners might be interested in. So if there's anything that you all are interested in that you want us to do some reporting on, let us know. And we'll do some research around that. Yeah,

Katie: 27:47

I like that. Some of those quick round trends that you just noted, I some of them sound great. And some of them freak me out like the purple blush. I don't know if I'm going to be. But yeah, I'm sure to look fabulous on someone. All right. So that was a lot of fun. Let's wrap with a mantra as we do. And you know, it's a new year. It's a new start. So how about this? Today is a fresh start, I welcome each positive opportunity with a thankful heart. I set my own pace, always moving forward. Even amongst chaos, I can find my own peace. And that was a few mantras and one but I like it because you know, New Year New Start. Lots going on. So good one to remember.

Amy: 28:33

Yeah, that is a good one. And I think we're recording this week after Christmas right before New Year's and I think that's always a week where I try to write goals and try to think about things I want to do for next year. So that's really relevant and good to remember. And hopefully you all enjoyed this episode, and we look forward to next week's episode. Thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 33 - Gratitude, Self-Care, & Pausing To Be A Better You (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 33 Gratitude, Self-Care, & Pausing To Be A Better You.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy: Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Katie: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a form of fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started. Welcome back to the show, everyone. It's Amy and Katie today. And before we get moving with the show, I think we all should just take a quick breath. So I'm going to do it and you follow me because I know that I need it today. So ready, go. Okay, I really needed that guys, because I am feeling very overwhelmed lately. Katie knows this. It's towards the end of the year. There's so much going on, I feel like so many plans to be made. And I just got a new puppy. And you know, it sounds silly because it is amazing having a new puppy. But I have to say it is like having a newborn again. Except I'm much older. And I feel like I have to keep my eyes on her every second. And I have no time to myself. Because every time I try to go to the bathroom, take a shower, she's either in my room all over me has to go outside. And so I just feel like I've had no time to myself. So I was telling my family last night, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. And I need to take a step back. And I need them to help me do that. Because I've just been all over the place. So our episode this week is really about moving into the new year, taking a pause, looking back on the year and trying to balance and organize ourselves. So we're going to the New Year strongly. And I know Katie and I have been having a lot of these conversations offline because we are loving our podcast. And we love all of our listeners and all of our guests. But we do need time to take a step back and kind of think about next year and who we want on the show and what you guys want and how we want to kind of grow this community that we love so much. So we're taking time over the next few weeks to do that. And in this episode, we're going to talk about kind of balance, we're going to talk about some holiday weight loss things that we've been thinking about just a urine review a little bit, take a moment of gratitude, and just talking about how we can take care of ourselves over this busy season because the holidays are great time. And I'm really excited to move into Thanksgiving and the holidays. But they can also be somewhat stressful because you got to plan things, and you're going out a lot and seeing people which is all great, because we haven't been able to do it. And I think everyone's excited to do it. But it does have this feeling of moving quickly. And I just want to enjoy the moment and be kind of at peace and be in the present. And I'm just trying to do that. So Katie, can you help me with this? What are your thoughts? Yeah, I

Katie: 3:05

mean, also the holidays brings on more fun and partying than we probably any of us really, truly need in our lives, like as fabulous as it is. And as exciting as it is to see our friends. And to do these things, it can just totally throw us out of whack. Like I already feel in the weeds to begin with. I feel unorganized. I feel like you know, there's so much going on, we can't get on top of it. And now we've got to throw the holidays into the mix. And then there's the holiday parties and all of this and then I'm dragging and I just don't feel good. So it's a very difficult time I find for people to tune into themselves and to take care of themselves. And that's kind of what we're here as your reminder to try to do like, we're not saying beat yourself up if you aren't able to do it. But just try to remember to also take care of yourself through the wrap up of the end of this crazy year.

Amy: 3:52

Yeah, I know that I since I got the puppy. I haven't been working out as much. And I think that's why I feel so unbalanced and unorganized. Because I've been taking the time for myself to work out. So that's really getting on my nerves. So I need to start, like ASAP getting back on schedule with working out because I think that will make the rest of my days and weeks better. What about UK? Yeah, it just shows you moved. You were saying

Katie: 4:16

since since we moved, it's like really, really hard to get on in a routine. And it just goes to show like a major shift in anyone's life. Like whether it's a new baby, a new puppy, a new house, a new job, anything. It can really throw you out of whack, and it can be really hard to get back on track. I mean, it's our whole thing. And just so everyone knows, like we struggle with it, too. So yeah, I mean, I have only been able to get my workouts on like maybe twice a week, and I could feel it and I definitely feel like I'm edgier. I have a shorter temper. I am just not like a peace and present and calm as much as I would like to be. So yeah, I agree. I'm really I think us taking this cause is, is is gonna be great on so many levels, not just for Nirvana sisters, but personally also,

Amy: 5:06

yeah, I am feeling good about it. And I just need to set some mini goals for myself like, with working out, I definitely feel like I need to be doing at least five minutes of meditation, I've been totally off that practice and I need to be doing like my five minute meditation, I need to do some gratitude practice. And I feel that when we do get busy, those are the things that fall to the wayside. But then it almost makes it worse because it makes you more stressed out. And we know this because we talk about it all the time. But when you're in a busy time, it's good to just remember so this is our way of remembering and telling our community to remember to do this too, even if it's five minutes of walking five minutes and meditation. So with all this being said, let's do our nirvana of the week. Katie, why don't you start?

Katie: 5:50

So mine is kind of funny. And it's like a little unexpected for me. But do you ever have like, Have you ever had a song where you've heard maybe in a TV show, or you've heard it on the radio? You've heard it in a movie, like over a year's time, and every time you hear a little bit of it, you're like, I love that song? What is that song? Yeah, I had a song like that for I don't know how long like the better part of my life. And I'm always whenever I hear and I'm like, oh, I need to figure out what that is. I figure out what it is. And I never do. Well, the other day, the song came on the radio at like on Sirius. So it had the title and the artist, and it's hard. Oh my god. Do you know Harvest Moon by Neil Young?

Amy: 6:32

I think so. It's really listening to that. No way. Like, I feel like you told me about it or something.

Katie: 6:38

It was after you left? And uh, no, because this was all after you left. And I have probably I want to say this was on Monday because I was going to the grocery store. I have probably listened to it 100 times. It's the only thing I've listened to since I heard it. I'm playing it on repeat like a psychopath. But it's brought a young boy. Yeah. Like, honestly, I should play I'm just gonna play like a second or two of it. Ooh. And you're Yeah, and you'll know it but

Amy: 7:15

don't know if I know the song.

Katie: 7:17

Very like the first line is so good. I'll stop it after that.

Amy: 7:27

Oh, yeah, I know the song. So it reminds me of the Grateful Dead actually, it has that kind of vibe. And I feel like I heard this. Maybe Adam played it when I was there. Because I'm telling you, I heard that song with you when I was there this weekend. And it's a great song. And I'm gonna download it and it's definitely a mellow vibe. I love it.

Katie: 7:44

Yeah. And it's also like, it's about Harvest Moon, which is the fall and I'm of what I really like about it. It's about a couple that have been together for years and years and years and years. And they're still in love. And it's like, huh, like, like they're trying to spark that like young love feeling again, you know, it's good. So anyway, it's probably nirvana. Yeah, it's been like epic. Oh, I

Amy: 8:05

love it. I'm gonna definitely do that. I'm going to add it in. Maybe I'll listen to it when I do a little workout later. Yeah. Meyers, Ana, there's a few things I would say I was visiting Adam and Katie, my brother Adam and Katie obviously, and the girls last weekend, which was fabulous, because a I had like a little time to myself, but be I'm just really happy for you, Katie. And so happy with your move and your new community. I just felt really good being there. And I felt really happy for you and settled and that made me happy and that made me feel Nirvana because you guys really chose the right community to be in and Adam had this vision and he was right and it's such a nice warm community where he moves and I just felt so good for you that you guys were starting out in such a positive way with the girls that are really good age to move. So that brought me a lot of nirvana. We also have a special guests that were booking that I won't say that will probably be into the new year. So that also brought me a lot of Nirvana being that I pretty much manifested this person to come on our show, so I'm really excited about that too. Yeah, let's move on to some holiday eating weight loss. So when Katie and I were together, I had told her that I recently lost about 15 pounds

Katie: 9:23

doing lose my mind because you don't even look like you have 15 pounds to lose ever.

Amy: 9:28

Thank you. I felt that I put on a lot of quarantine weight and it was really I felt like more water retention and inflammation just because I wasn't paying attention I was eating I was I mean for the most part eating clean but definitely probably indulging more and then when I was indulging probably not taking a step back and like trying to eat healthy again. So I was just like off you know how sometimes you just get off and you get into a stage where you just feel bloated and you look at pictures and you're like oh, I don't like the way look and I don't like the way they feel. So I did this thing called Octavia which I was very against actually because I've known about For years, I know people that have done it. And you can lose a lot of weight from it, but I was very against it. Because you know, I actually don't think the ingredients are that bad, but it's packaged. And I was like, it's not organic. It's not fresh. I like to eat everything fresh and whatever. But Nicole, honestly, and Whole Foods Exactly. But honestly, I've been so busy that I was like, let me just do this and see. And I also am not one to make like, meals for myself so much, because I'm always on the run. So I do like to grab things and have more snacks throughout the day. So I was like, You know what, I need to lose a quick way, you know, 10 pounds, let me just try it. So I the way that the program works is you have a coach and my friend Stephanie, when I was visiting her over the summer had been doing it and she told me her coach, and I was like, set me up with her because it was someone I don't know someone that lives in Texas. She's so sweet. I've asked her a million questions. And she's sort of my Coach and Trainer along the way. And the reason why I personally thought that was helpful is because a lot of people this has become like a, I don't know what they call like multi level marketing, or whatever they call it, where people do the program, and then they become coaches. And it's a whole thing. But it is good to have a coach. But I did find that it was really helpful to have a coach that I didn't know, because there are people in my community that sell the products that I know. And I just didn't want to have to like, talk to someone that I knew and tell them my ups and downs and ask them all my silly questions. So it was actually really nice to have a somewhat anonymous person in my life that I could just ask a quick question to like, Hey, am I eating the right this or my eating right that so anyway, though, I'll probably do a full review on the program. And we were actually talking about maybe having one of our nutrition experts or contributors to the show to talk a little bit more about it. Because I know generally speaking, it's not good to lose a lot of weight in a quick manner. But I do have to say I have been on it since probably, I would say August, September, October. So it has been three years. It's not like I lost 10 pounds overnight, so I have lost 15 pounds, I'm looking to lose a few pounds more. So that way, when I gain some holiday weight, it won't be so drastic, but it has really helped because I do feel 1000 times better. I was telling Katie, I do not feel bloated at all, my stomach is flat, I feel so much better. So I think I just my body kind of flushed out all the things that I didn't need and that weren't serving me. And this will be a really good basis moving into the new year. So we'll probably go more in depth on it. But it was just something I wanted to mention because it was definitely one of these things where I was like, I'm not sure if I want to do a program like this, but it has actually been really helpful. Another one that I've used in the past is called proline, which I did a few years ago and I've done it a few times. And it's kind of like a one week almost fast. And it's more like soups and like very minimal food. It's almost like mimicking fasting but you are eating and I've done that too. And that's good for like a quick cleanse, you lose a few pounds and you kind of feel good, but that's just like a quick thing to do over the holidays that I know some people do to kind of get a you know, flush out if you will. But Katie, I know you have some some tips for holiday eating as well.

Katie: 13:08

Yeah, well really fast. I just want to touch on Octavia because, I mean you look great and what's most important is that you feel great. But we also know other people that have had really good success stories on it. It's kind of like this little hidden secret I feel like so, you know, listeners let us know if you want to learn more about it. And you know, next season we could probably do an in depth episode on it like you were saying but I think it could potentially help a lot of people that are you know, like stuck with some stubborn weight. Mine is was so my go to, you know, like I said because of the move I was just like out of whack and not really eating very well not on a great routine. So my reset is Pete's paleo. It's this fantastic, like food ordering service that I found during the pandemic when I was just so sick and tired of cooking and then I would not cook so I would end up just like putting a mishmash of random things together for dinner and it would be just like a really unhealthy dinner and I would feel like garbage the next day. So I ordered this. It's pizza paleo.com And

Amy: 14:14

basically you might have reviewed this or talked about and

Katie: 14:17

we talked I think it was one of my miliar it was one of my Nirvana's because it was it Yeah. My meals are so good. So what you do is you you order by Monday and then they have these weekly menus like here's here's an upcoming menu, white truffle and portabella chicken thighs with chives, mashed potatoes and roasted broccoli, thyme roasted turkey with artichoke and phenyl don't know how to say that word and roasted red rutabagas so on so the they're really really tasty meals that they prepare fresh and then shipped to you fresh within days times. And this is a chef, this is an actual chef This is his company and he he puts it together and the meals are So like savory and delicious, it's not it's not what you would think when you get like something that's pre packaged. They're really, really, really good and satisfying.

Amy: 15:09

And they're How do you meet them? Yeah, get in the microwave anything. It's like literally microwave like how does it come as a come frozen it comes,

Katie: 15:18

it comes fresh, but with like a freezer ice pack that keeps it fresh until you can put it into your refrigerator or freezer. And like these black things that are vacuum sealed. And so I toss mine in the freezer, you can keep them in the refrigerator. And then I just stand to

Amy: 15:35

put them in the microwave like in that the whole data that comes in, you just pop

Katie: 15:39

it in. And it's like it steams inside of the bag and reheat it. And it's really, really like the meat is super moist and juicy and fresh. And the flavors are always great. And so the reason why it works for me is because a it's a perfect portion size. It's a perfect balance of like protein to, to veggies to like starch. And it's paleo which is for those of you that aren't familiar, the Paleolithic diet is it's really geared towards people with autoimmune disease, but it just essentially helps fight inflammation, which is like the bane of my existence. I'm always dealing with inflammation because of my autoimmune stuff. So there's certain foods that are not like there's never any dairy. There's never What about gluten? There's never any gluten. There's never any like this child mashed potato is probably not a white potato. Like there's not you know, like there's certain starches that are not in there. There's never any preservatives, gums fillers, like none of that stuff. It's super so you feel

Amy: 16:46

like when you eat it, you feel you don't feel bloated at all, because that's how I guess thing, right? Not

Katie: 16:52

at all. And it's very filling and satisfying. And it's it's whole foods like so you'll look at the most and it's every single item is a whole food. You know, there's a Yeah, and

Amy: 17:00

is it? Is it just dinners or is it lunches and breakfasts like what's the You Can

Katie: 17:05

Do they do have breakfast they do have I think the lunches are probably just it would just be the same meals like you just use them however you choose to use them. They do offer breakfast, I've never done it. And you can get all different packages you can get like this past two weeks, I've just been getting a delivery of five every week. But I before I've done deliveries of 10 and like Adam eats them and Madeline eats them. So

Amy: 17:27

I think do it eat that too. I'm gonna try that. And it's, it's paleo like you can't order vegan if you're vegan or vegetarian, they

Katie: 17:33

don't have they do have like some food options. But I think it's more like AIP, which is really hardcore, an autoimmune protocol that I've tried to do, it's just been even more restrictive at one time, they did have like ketogenic offerings and things like that, but I don't, I don't think they're doing that anymore.

Amy: 17:49

So it just sounds to your point, like a healthy balanced meal. And honestly, with Octavia, the way that you do it is you eat these, what they call fueling. So basically little meals or snacks, you eat like five of them a day, but one of your meals is a regular meal, which is essentially protein in grains. So they call it like a lean and green, but you basically eat a lean protein and a lot of greens. So this sounds like it would be a nice way so I don't have to make it and I could just heat it up. And it also sounds like it might be a good transition for when I start to eat more like maybe I would have one of those for lunch instead of a salad or, or instead of a snack or whatever.

Katie: 18:26

Absolutely. It's, it's great. It's really good and seasonings always great. And you know what we really like? It's like the perfect amount of salt. Sometimes you get those kind of meals. And it's like they're they can be bland, like these are really well seasoned. They're really good. So I highly recommend no surprise,

Amy: 18:41

you really use that to keep on track and to keep it as an easy way to get healthy meals. So when you're feeling off and you've eaten crappy, like you'll go back to just eating that every day. And you'll feel like it's a good way to get you back on track eating healthy. Yeah, yeah. And I feel really good. It's early for weight loss, but in a way clean. Like is very clean and healthy eating.

Katie: 19:00

Yeah, good cleaning. Like I mean, you know, like I'm more regular when I do it. And I just feel better. And yeah, I don't wake up like puffy or bloated. I don't feel bloated up. Yeah,

Amy: 19:10

it's good. I'm going to try this. I'm going to try this over the holidays and moving into the new year because I think that's really good. I think it's good for Stu too, because especially for lunch, he's always you know, he'll run to Balducci's or Whole Foods or wherever the grocery store and just get something prepared and eat it. But I feel like something like this is probably better because you know what's in it and a bit healthier. So yes, sounds great. All right, awesome. So we'll keep you guys posted on how the how the holiday goes in terms of our eating. But I think if we're incorporating and we're thinking about what we're eating, obviously, like I also think it's healthy, to have fun to drink to eat, and all the and all the fun things because that's the fun part about the holidays. It's about being present with your family and friends. It's about having good food and celebrating and we should be doing all that but then on the days that we're not doing that we should be making sure that we're better liking and like eating healthy again, just to, you know, set it apart. So you're having just certain days where you're not eating as well. And then I think that makes makes for good balance. And so I think being really intuitive about that is helpful as well as you know, meditation and movement. I also I was listening to a podcast this morning, I only got five minutes in, but I'm going to listen to it later, when I go for a ride to do some errands. Brooke Dillard on naked beauty planet, she has her naked beauty podcasts. And I love her. She's awesome. And she was really good content on her shows. And the one that launched it was either, I think it was this week was around organization. And she's doing a bunch of episodes from now to the end of the year that are basically kind of like setting you up for the new year. And as you go into the holiday in the new year, different things to be helpful. So this one's on organization, I think she's gonna have like a bunch of different people come in and talk about different things as they as you move into the new year. But the person that was on her show started talking about Oregon organizing and organizing all your skincare products and all your beauty products because we have like a million and they could cause a mess. And my son is organized, but I call it like organized chaos. Like I know where everything is, but it's not super neat. It's kind of neat, but there's just like a lot of stuff. So anyway, I was listening to her and I'm excited to listen to that episode. Well, we'll post it because it sounds like this woman who's on has a lot of really good tips around not only organizing your beauty staples and your products, but also closets and all that. So I always holidays try to get really organized like Katie knows I do my pantry. And that's like I love doing it. But sometimes in where I had stopped in the podcast, which I listened to later was she's talked about getting in the mindset of organizing, because I think too, you get really overwhelmed with the thought of organizing and then you don't do it because you see all the clutter and you see all the stuff you have to do. And it's just like you don't know where to start. So I'm really interested to hear what she has to say about that. Because you do have to kind of psych yourself up to do organization project. Yeah, it's super organized Katie, like much more organized than I am. Yeah, but still,

Katie: 22:04

I could be better and like, like, you know, I mean, you saw we were saddled with the house except for like my closet. Right? I haven't taken the time to do the thing that is like my thing. And it's a

Amy: 22:15

drain. I'm sure it's overwhelming. Yeah, it is

Katie: 22:17

very overwhelming the thought of getting into it. But yeah, you have to get it's funny. So you'd like to organize around the holidays I like to I always like tend to organize in the spring, like the spring cleaning thing. But I mean, I still need to do it. I like when I when I have

Amy: 22:30

well, like when I have time usually between Christmas and New Year's I'll usually like go to The Container Store and get like fun containers and just try to organize because it's funny, I really actually love organizing. And I like doing it for other people to like I did it in my parents house. Like for my dad's library I've done like I do people's pantries like I love to actually do it once I'm in the mode. But it kind of takes me a little while to get into the mode and to do it myself, like my office is a disaster. And I feel like I need there's so many areas of clutter that I need to organize and clean up. I just haven't done it because I can't get my head around doing it. But that's one of my goals to do over the holidays. But I usually do like want to do organizing projects over the holidays or I try to we shouldn't she's

Katie: 23:13

a picture of your dad's office. It was so good. I want to do that with my office.

Amy: 23:16

Yeah, there's something like cathartic about doing it, because I think you should really good afterwards, and the person feels really good. That's actually what this woman was saying on the podcast this morning that she really she was like he used to be a beauty editor and all these different things. And she got into the organizing space. And she found that when she started doing this for people, they felt like like a weight was lifted off of them. And she loved giving them that feeling. So I need to do some organizing projects, for sure. So yeah, lots of organizing projects. I'm sure Katie, you have a lot of stuff to do around the house that you're excited to. Again, depending on

Katie: 23:46

how you said like you it's really it takes a weight off of you. So this past weekend, when you're at my house and your girlfriend and her kids came over, like the girls totally had the best time with our playroom, but it looked like the absolute bomb exploded afterwards. And it's been like that for the last few days. And every time I look at it, I'm like, Oh, it's so much it's too much. I don't have time for it. And like Frankie walked by it ever a million times. It was on my to do list every single day this week. Finally, this morning, I just did it. I just got up and did it. Reese helped me before she went to school, it did not take nearly as much time as I thought it was going to and now it's like light and airy. I can breathe. I feel like a normal human again. Because that one room isn't haunting me. You know, it really is

Amy: 24:31

so true. And that happens to me all the time. And there's so many things where I will look out for literally a year and be like, I can't get my head around doing it. But um, I know what I was gonna say before what I was gonna say is this woman was also talking about which is so true, is it's easy to be organized once you have a system. So I remember when I first moved to my house I had someone helped me organize my kitchen and she set it up and I've literally use the same system ever since. So it's like once you have that system, even if you're not super organized, you can be organized so I just set up Some stuff in my bathroom, like some ways to have my products out. And now I have a system. So I know where to put my wash at night. I have my wife, like, as long as you have a system, I feel like it really helps with organizing. So yeah, it's good. We'll get to some organizing. And then what about just kind of like, our year, we've had the show for a year. I have, like so many ideas, and so many growth plans. And we're so excited. And just thank you to everyone who has supported us from the beginning and listening and helping us to grow. We're so great. We're so grateful. Katie, what were what have been some of your kind of highs over the last year of launching and sustaining this podcast and brand?

Katie: 25:39

Yeah, it's been. I mean, we're so grateful to everyone that's been on the show. It's been such a highlight of mine. Finally, doing something aside from motherhood, has really given me so much confidence. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. It's the most amazing gift in the world. It's also a very hard job. But like I needed something more I was a career woman at one point, and it just feels really good to, to be like mentally stimulated and creative. And it's also so fun talking to these people and learning so much. And also it's funny. It's given me like better people skills, like just moving to a new town. And now I have no problem meeting somebody and chatting it up with them and asking them about it. It's like I'm like, naturally an interviewer now, which is so funny. It's not a byproduct that I expected. But it's been great. I mean, I feel like we've learned so much. And it's been just such a joy, being with you every week and then getting to know these new people. It's brought me a lot of nirvana. I mean, just last week, Amy and I had a meeting when she came in town with Ann fryer who was a guest on our show on the first season. And I was like the coolest day because we sat with an fryer and talked about growth and expansion. And then we went to see another guest, we went to see Meredith Quill from Beckett and Quill and went to her trunk show and I literally felt like a career woman again, which is a feeling I haven't had and I don't know, nine years. So so fun. It's been it's been amazing. What about you?

Amy: 27:09

Yeah, I feel the same. I mean, I, there's so many things, I think being able to launch my own thing has been so amazing for me personally, because I work full time, I have a really busy demanding job, which I love. And it's creative, and it's great. But it's a big company. It's very corporate. And I've been there a long time. And I felt like I needed an outlet, and a way to be entrepreneurial again, because I tried to be entrepreneurial within my organization. But it's hard. It's just big, and it's great. But it's great in different ways. So I it's so nice to have my own thing with you that we can create ourselves, that we can edit ourselves that we can press that button, it goes live globally, we can talk about what we want to talk about, we can do the creative we want to do, it's just nice having my own creative outlet, that's a passion for me and to be able to talk about and be connected to it and talk to all these people and learn so many things that I'm so interested in. And it's just been a really nice outlet for me. And I feel like it's made me so much more well rounded, because it's interesting. And I feel like people want to hear about it. And it just I think it really has rounded me out because I have a really big corporate working marketing background. But now I have sort of this content creation creative side that I still do at work, but some of it has been lacking. So it's just nice to be able to have that outlet for myself and to be able to start building this brand together. And of course doing it with you makes it a bazillion times better. Like it's so funny, even though we're close before now. I feel like we're so bonded. We talk all the time, like I don't even talk to my brother. My parents are always like, Oh, if you talk to Adam and like, Katie, they're like Katie told me this. I'm like, yeah, now she texts me this morning like we're so synched up. Yeah, and it's really rare, because everyone I've talked to is like, Oh my God, that's so amazing. You have a podcast with your sister in law, and you guys are so close. And I was like, Yeah, it really is amazing, because it is unique. Yeah. And it's such a nice way for us to connect, but also to build a business and to like, build this brand and community together is so much fun. And we have all the same interest. So it's just been really meaningful. And I think it's brought me obviously a lot of Nirvana and joy, to keep it going. And I think we also have to give ourselves grace. Because Katie and I have these conversations all the time. We just we have so many ideas for this show that we want to do, which we will do and we have so just so much going on. And we definitely need time to take, take that pause and reflect and move into the new year with a really good plan of action and being rested. And even though this is like a it's an enjoyable thing for us to do. I'm all about momentum as Katie knows, I feel like we have to keep her Do swing and miss moment every week did it. But it's but it's stalling me from really taking a step back and thinking about okay, what guests do we want to have on next year? And who do we want to, you know, go after and, you know, just a shout out to all of our guests too, because everyone that's been on the show has been truly part of our Nirvana sisters family, and I've really an entire aligns with what we're all about, and have inspired us, but also have said, Yes, and there's a lot of people, it takes time to do this. I mean, you know, it takes half an hour, hour, whatever it is out of the day, but I think people say yes, because they look at it as a really good time to connect with people. And the way that we do it is very comfort, conversational and fun. So I don't think it's looked at upon as a chore. I think people actually like to get away from their day to day and talk to new people. So thank you to all of our guests who have been on the show and have been helping us to grow. And thank you for the ones that have come back. And you'll be still coming back and contributing to the show for years to come. So just feeling really grateful that we've now have, this will be I think, Episode 3233.

Katie: 31:04

This is our 33rd Yeah. Which is incredible

Amy: 31:08

over a year. I mean, so many people that I've talked to that knew us when we were first launching this a year ago, and we were trying to come up with the name and we were teaching ourselves how to do everything. They're like, Oh my God, you have all these downloads, and you have this whole show, and you have so much content. It's incredible. And I really loved this episode and this product. So it just brings me a lot of joy. And I feel very well rounded and happy and really in my creative zone when we're doing it. So yeah, long story short,

Katie: 31:35

it's uh, it's amazing how like, we've had a lot of hurdles it hasn't been easy. We do everything soup to nuts. I don't know if people know that. I mean, we do we do all the editing, we do all the bookings, we do the whole nine. And there's been times where it's been so stressful to try to make it work, but I think having each other and this is like something that people should should take on if you're if you're trying to get on do something on your own. Go find a partner because having Amy to like, keep me in the game when I'm not and and to bounce ideas off of advisor. Yeah, like, it's It's crucial. I mean, it's crucial. It's been so uh, Kevin, you know, a partner. And we have, we're very fortunate and blessed. I think we have like a really healthy working relationship, in addition to personal sisterhood. But yes, it's, it's definitely, it hasn't been easy. And the exciting thing is, is that we're now we're like growing and expanding. And so true, you can be so in the weeds, you can be so in it, that it's hard to see outside of it, and what else you have to do to make it bigger. So like Amy said, we're going to step back for a few weeks, I had to twist her arm to get there, but Miss momentum, I gotta agree to it. And we're going to focus on bringing you bigger things, new things, exciting things, and we're just gonna keep keep growing. And we would love to hear from our listeners, like, what do you guys want from us? It would be really exciting, you know, like, let us know. And instead, I think, yeah,

Amy: 33:02

we'd love to hear your ideas. And I just to echo what you were saying, Katie, I 100% agree that having a partner has completely changed the game for me, because yes, we have each other's back, we motivate each other, we keep each other accountable, and props. And, you know, shout outs to my husband, Stu, because he was the one when I was talking to him a year, year and a half ago. And I was like, I definitely want to start something I don't know what it is. And he was like, you know, you really need a partner. Because you have so many ideas that like you, you need someone to bounce them off like another woman who can really connect with you. And obviously Katie was like the first person I thought of like, this would be such a good idea for us to do together because we're always talking about this stuff. But I didn't recognize it myself. I always feel like I have to do everything myself. And then it never happens. Because it's just it's too hard to start. So having a partner for anyone listening that's wanting to start a business wanting to start a whatever it may be. I think having that partner is crucial to talk through things and get in the nitty gritty because you know, your husband and your friends don't want to hear about it all the time that like you'll talk about it with your partner every second and get into the minutiae of everything. And it's just so, so helpful to have and excited and it's fun. Yeah, it makes it more fun. Exactly. 100%. Moving on. As we close out the episode, I think Katie might have a nice mantra for us. But again, just wanted to tell our listeners to have a great holiday season, take care of yourself. We are going to be every day intentionally trying to do that. I definitely feel better after having this conversation. Katie, I've been so stressed and I feel like I can breathe again. I feel a lot more relaxed. So I'm going to take this energy and move it into like the rest of the holiday season. I hope you feel the same way and I hope our audience feels the same way. And yeah, we'll continue to be talking to you all on Instagram and email and however you want to reach us. We're here at Nirvana sisters. Um, we're going to be producing a lot of content over the next few weeks to that will will launch in 2022 at the start of the new year. So we're really excited about that. But definitely keep in touch. And we'll continue to be, you know, putting out a lot of social content and tips and tricks and all of the things.

Katie: 35:15

Yeah, and look out for us one on Instagram, because our past guests, they have a great exciting holiday things going on that we're going to share with you. So yeah, definitely tune in for that. Okay, so

Amy: 35:27

just closing out with some thoughts. I don't know if this is necessarily a mantra, it might just be a quote, but I was on LinkedIn yesterday, and this woman who I don't know, I'm following her, her name is Sarah Kay. She is a creative thinker, brand innovation. She's an author of the book brand new world, which I'm going to try to read. And she put out a really amazing post, which I'll share on our social, but it was really about embracing your uniqueness. And it was a whole paragraph about when you get feedback from people how that can, you know, you take it so seriously, and then you don't defend yourself and you become someone that you're not. And anyway, there was one part of it, which I really liked, which said, your uniqueness is perfect, never apologize for it, on the contrary, dial it up. So I just love that because it just basically is saying, Be yourself and don't apologize for it. And I think it's a good thing for us all to remember because we sometimes hide who we are, depending on the environment that we are. So I think that is so helpful. So that's my kind of words of wisdom. And thank you, Sarah, if you're listening from LinkedIn, I will definitely share this. It's a whole paragraph and I thought it was super empowering.

Katie: 36:38

I love that. Yeah, that's very true. All right. Well, I love what you said, because it's very true. It's yeah, it's like don't dim your light around other people and everything. I mean, I feel like I'm guilty of doing that from time to time. So it's a good reminder. But let's suppose let's close with a little mantra that I think is on par with what we have going on right now. So it is I'm slowing down and creating space to rest replenish and take care of me. And I think we're both going to do that and we're also going to do that for Nirvana sisters. So yeah, deeper 100%

Amy: 37:15

in and out. Thank you so much everyone and we will chat soon. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 32 - When Nature Is Healing With PMDD Warrior And Floral Artist, Lisa Composto (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 32.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Amy: 0:07

Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Unknown: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a form of fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started.

Unknown: 0:37

Welcome back to Nirvana sisters podcast. This week. We are super excited to have someone very dear to me. My cousin Lisa composto. Lisa is a floral artist. Her company is composed of Yari, She's based in Houston, Texas. It was through Lisa's passion for paintings that she fell in love with floristry and capturing the drama between light and shadow through her floral photography, which is so cool. While she's tried many creative endeavors she's most passionate about this one and her desire to share her flower stories through creative soulful experiences. Lisa is also someone that was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness and she is determined to inspire uplift, encourage others to follow their dreams and advocate for their health. And I am really excited to talk about all of that. She is a beautiful person inside and out lives in the present moment and aspires to triumph through life's challenges while embracing every moment with gratitude. So she could not be a more perfect guest for us this week, my sister so highly. So thanks for being here. Thank you so much. I'm so

Amy: 1:44

excited to be welcome. So nice to meet you.

Unknown: 1:48

Thank you, Amy. I love that this family is connecting in new ways. And that's the magic of technology these days. Right?

Amy: 1:55

And by the way, Katie has so many cousins. It's so funny. I feel like every time I'm with Katie, she either mentions a cousin that she has that's fabulous like you or we run into remember we ran into your cousin like last Nashville. It's just so funny because I don't have a lot of cousins. So I always just find it so amazing. I love it. Yeah, I mean, like family,

Unknown: 2:13

we do it to break it down. My mom has six siblings, and my dad has six siblings, so that's why I love it. All right, well, let's kick it off with our nirvana of the week. Amy, I'm gonna kick it to you. What was your Nirvana this week?

Amy: 2:28

Yeah, so we got a new puppy. And she's literally the most adorable thing. Her name is Skye. She's an Australian Labradoodle. And she's just the sweetest thing. She's eight weeks, and it's just brought so much joy to us. In the family. So yeah, I mean, big Nirvana this week. And it's just I do feel like I have a baby again. And I'm on a total schedule. And it's kind of like, taken over my whole week, but we'll get in a routine. But yeah, it was it was just amazing. picking her up and bring her home to the family. So that was mine. What about you, Katie?

Unknown: 3:08

She's so cute. And thank you. Now Madeline and Reese are begging me for a new puppy every single day. But I would say minor Vana. This week. My parents are still here. They're in town and my mom and I cooked dinner together and my new kitchen and it was like one of the I think the first time I cooked a meal, you know from scratch in my new kitchen. And I was with my mom. And so that was really nice. Yeah. And then also this glass of wine that I'm having right now because it's Friday

Amy: 3:43

so that was I mean, I should have done that a while. Yeah, we usually

Unknown: 3:48

record it around lunchtime, but we're recording late today. So this is why Yeah, yeah. Cheers. My flowers. Lisa, tell us what was your Nirvana this week. I had some amazing nirvana. This week. I hosted the second one of my new workshops, where I am starting to share my stories, my flower stories that resonates so deeply with me. And they've been such a mechanism of healing for me that I am just ready to start sharing my story and helping other people. And so I started the workshop with a little bit about me. And I brought in all these beautiful locally grown Texas flowers from a farm here in Texas called base camp farms. This isn't support for a sustainable and ethically driven brand called foxhole who supports other brands of that. And so everything in the store has a story behind it. It's art driven and it gives back it has a greater purpose. So it's been amazing to be a piece of that journey. But this workshop was like a gift. Because when I invite people to stay present with me and try to tap into their inner creative and whatever is speaking to them at that moment. If it's pain, if it's channeling prayers through what we're creating anything, just give yourself just two hours of a pause. And to see the garden masterpieces that these individuals created was such an affirmation to me that I am on the right path. And I am so happy to be doing this and giving back and finding my greater purpose. So that was my Nirvana this week, and I can't wait to start posting more. Thank you so much.

Amy: 5:34

I would love to come Well, listen,

Unknown: 5:37

I want to do this nationwide, because I want to start supporting local farms and growers wherever I go, supporting the communities, even sourcing My vessels from a local Potter in town supporting a local coffee shop doing a demonstration there I am ready to start exploring and sharing my story everywhere I go. So yes, maybe I'll have a workshop where you are one day would love would be amazing. Well, yeah, it's, it's, you're so much more than Well, first of all, floral artist is is an accurate way to put it, you're so much more than I would say I don't know, a florist because not that there's anything wrong with that. But your your your work really is like art. And also I see it on Instagram. It's unbelievable. But it's obviously so much more than that to do to you. It's very, like spiritual and it's about healing. And so how did you get into doing this? Like, I know it was through your love of painting and everything. So how many years? And when did you start composto Fiore. Um, so I started my company, I became a registered LLC with Texas, in August of 2019. So that was not that long ago. And let me tell you, it's been a lot of pivoting and shifting and what I started out as has evolved and expanded, and it's like I have manifested and created that path for myself and chiseled it down to what I want it to be. And I'm so thankful to have found that because I know not a lot of people have had the capacity to do so. I will say that, you know, through all my creative endeavors, I've tried a little bit of everything, they all fizzled out, and my heart kept calling me to flowers and that style of artistry. And so when I started practicing, it was back in 2015. And it was around the time when all my friends were getting married, having baby showers, etc, everyone came to me to be the hostess, I loved that opportunity, I embraced it, I went full out every time I hosted one of these showers. And it gave me the opportunity to start playing with flowers. And when I did that, I always snapped a photo because I was like, I'm gonna paint it, I'm gonna paint that arrangement one day when I get to it. And through that I was like, What am I saying, I don't want to paint it. I'm painting right now with my flowers. But really the turn inward and where I connected with it on a very deep spiritual level. And at one of great healing was during the pandemic, absolutely. I was almost willing a reason to slow down so that I could embrace what I truly wanted to with flowers and my artistry. And when that happened and the shift happened in our world. I had all the time in the world to reflect and that is when I was diagnosed. And that is also when I discovered that flowers are a form of prayer and healing and spirituality for me. So yes, thank you for asking that question. Yeah, I

Amy: 8:37

totally agree with that. I was talking about this actually, in a show recently about, I have always loved flowers. And really the process of putting them together is so relaxing and therapeutic for me. And I do it all the time. And I was mentioning in a recent episode that my nirvana of the week was putting together these flower arrangements and designing them for a party we were having or having some people over and that moment I just loved because it brought me so much peace. So I totally can relate with what you're saying. Obviously, you're incredible and have like, really made a career out of it. But I do totally understand where you're coming from because I connect with flowers too. I always have my husband always says he's like, if you were to have like a business, it would be something to do with flowers and dogs because those are the things that you're right. So anyway, so what were you doing professionally before starting composto vra.

Unknown: 9:29

I was actually in an HR position for an oil and gas engineering procurement and construction company here and he's totally different way and that taught me so much, you know, discipline and actually was a very creative musician. I worked with an amazing team. We did talent management, we helped develop like the key talent, individuals that you know, we saw a greater career path with us future leaders that the company. And it was it was a really cool experience. And during all that everyone I ever worked with was like, What are you doing here? And I was I was I was so you know, in that mindset that I have to do the grind I had, there's no way I would succeed as an artist, who am I kidding? Like, how can I have gone to school for something else, and now I'm going to try it. Like, I guess I would love to have a gallery full of paintings. I thought that's what it was gonna be. I never imagined this is where it was gonna take me. And it's been way more fulfilling than I would have ever imagined. So the message and that is, I really support and encourage everyone that I need to tap into what's calling you and give it a chance and give it a fighting chance. It's not going to be easy. There's going to be a lot of sacrifices made. But if you are truly called to something, there is a reason the world needs you here, and you need a push through that and it will bring you the greatest form of joy and peace. I couldn't agree with you more. It's amazing. Also, we have to say while we're having this interview, Lisa is doing things with flowers. I mean, you're changing them and snipping them and putting them and it's like it's, it's amazing to watch you do it. Because you can tell it's like bringing you peace and Nirvana and Zen as you're talking to us. It's very cool. So I know it's gorgeous. I dreamed up this kitchen, I was hard to convince my husband, but that's what you gotta you gotta keep fighting for what you want. And it was a lot of hard work, but it pays off. All right, so we've talked a little bit on to, you know, like, how your love of Painting led you into it? What are some simple tricks that you can give our listeners? So back in season one, I think it was like, I don't know, maybe episode three. Amy, when we had an interior designer Zoe Feldman on. She was telling us the episode was about like how to build a beautiful home that supports and nurtures you and brings you Zen and peace and she was saying bring in something that's alive. Bring in flowers, bring in plants bring in a branch from a tree embedded in a base anything right? So I feel like it's really great for our listeners to get some tips and tricks from you on how they can build their own gorgeous arrangements and bring life into their home. Yes, absolutely. This is something that I'm passionate about also teaching in my in my workshops because I do absolutely agree with that. I was telling Katie when I jumped on here, this this branch right here, this is a very typical southern landscape greenery type shrub changes in the most gorgeous fall colors and for this is a lot of fall. So where we get excited about the little orange tint and the red tent and these leaves, and so this is a plant that thrives down here I just recommend that you go outside start walking your neighborhood if you have the opportunity to go explore a little further and actually go foraging like in the hills in the mountains amazing do that connect just feel the leaves. I mean, it's incredible. It's they're always there. And yesterday for instance, I just got out and sat in the grass at this beautiful park and just connecting yourself with the ground and with the dirt is so healing so all you can I mean please follow me for any any kind of questions regarding forestry and how you can forage hearty greens around your home. This is something that I think is such a beautiful idea for people to start doing. It's so attainable it involves you just going outside snipping some branches play around and an artful basketball, I use chicken wire, which is you know, chicken wire, it's it's like what you would find at a hardware store or a garden store. I use coated chicken wire and I kind of crumble it into a little nest. And that's what I stuffed inside my vase. And that will allow you to arrange more artfully Oh, that's

Amy: 14:08

such because I just Yeah, and I think the process is so creative. And I love that you can do whatever you want. But I think some people like don't know where to start. I think it's also can be intimidating. When you're grabbing a bunch of things. You're like, I want it to look nice, and I can't

Unknown: 14:24

do it. That is that is a word I use a lot during my workshop. It is intimidating. I remember that feeling of going to the grocery store market. And that's one of those self confidence things and that's something I want to foster in individuals because that's something I lacked greatly with the condition that I have, and it we care so much about what other people think. But if you just shift that mentality and try to look inwards and say, What do you care about? That's what you've got to listen to first it's going to fill your cup up beyond Any other mean? Doing so and you know, it's just without us being fulfilled, we're not going to be good caretakers or productive employees or ambitious individuals because we're going to be topped at the top down and worn worn down. So I love this idea of bringing live plants indoors and branches like this lasts for three or four weeks in a beautiful vessel on your countertop on your island. You come in, you see a little bit of the outside, you're on minded, that nature ultimately drives us and yeah, get back out there and Eclipse some more branches, go click some flowers and experiment you can't go wrong, you seriously cannot lose with branches. They'll live in water for three to four weeks if you but you have to isn't important to like prune them properly. When you snip them when you're foraging and gathering them from the inside. Isn't it important that you do that correctly? I always think so. I mean, I have a nice sharp pair of clippers when you when you sever the the capillaries or like the little veins that take all the water up the tree trunk or up the stem, if they're kind of smushed together because you have dole scissors, it's gonna prevent water from going up. Clearly, if you have really nice shirt shears, absolutely have some tools that are meant for the job. Like I get out my like big clippers, if I'm going to go clip some branches. And then cutting at an angle is for a reason. Because if you care, let me show you an example. I

Amy: 16:33

don't think I ever cut in an angle. Okay, this is good to know. Now one thing I saw was die so quickly.

Unknown: 16:38

It's a little it's a little pro tip, you know, but it's okay. So if I cut this stem, I don't know if that's in focus. But if I cut this stem complete, just perpendicularly, it's just going to be like a little circle. I don't know, it's kind of hard to see it. But if I cut at an angle, I've now elongated that so it's like more surface area and more capillaries are opened up. They have bigger openings that way. Okay, so they can bring the water in easier. All right. Those are great that the chicken wire Do you see the chicken wire in a clear vase, though? What like what's the trick there? Okay, so clear vases are tricky, I would say there is a few different protocols you could do with that. So you could get a flower frog to set at the base of it. A flower frog is usually it's a round disc that's flat. And it either has like little hairpin looking things at the top of it or spikes. And you'll see them actually at thrift stores garage sales, because they were a thing of like the past floor street, but they're definitely coming back. So it's a much more sustainable form than like flower foam, for instance, right. And that's also I used to come by chicken wire, I can keep reusing this chicken wire. You only need a little bit of it. I'm going to start selling my own little florist St. Kitts. Oh, yeah, thank you. It comes with like a pair of my favorite shears. Some favorite clippers and then a bundle of the chicken wire, probably an artful vessel and a little like demo link video kind of thing.

Amy: 18:14

They're gonna say you're gonna sell them through Instagram to promote it when it comes down

Unknown: 18:20

to them. Well, I love that. And I think that it's a great way to get people involved. I want to start a Patreon account to or something to that effect, where people can help support my artistry but I can give you know provide the knowledge to them. Because I am all about spreading this like wildflowers. That's my thing with like, like wild flowers because people people need life. They need to bring this into their homes. It's very joyful. It's into a range is very peaceful. So I'm so glad that both of you enjoy doing that at your own homes. I don't do it well, but I'd love having it in and actually Lisa, you did a super cool collaboration recently an event with Jenny Kane with a designer Jenny came right and Amy

Amy: 19:02

is she makes it sounds familiar to you.

Unknown: 19:05

She's all over Instagram all the time. Yeah, it's like we were and shoes. Yeah. Yeah. She is a beautiful California based woman and lifestyle brand. And they have gorgeous sweaters and like basics like yeah, duster cardigans. And the quality is so phenomenal. I splurged on a cashmere sweater and it's like butter, you know,

Amy: 19:32

I mean, it's all over now that you're talking about the collaboration that you did. Well,

Unknown: 19:36

they an amazing shopping district has scooped me up here. I'm actually working with some clients there this upcoming month too. So it's been absolutely amazing. Getting to know the clients and tenants of that area. And they came in with their adorable Airstream. They drive this Airstream around the country and they test out different markets so they were testing out the Houston river oak shop In District, and they brought their little Airstream down and the shopping district got in touch with me. And they're like, Well, we have a great florist in mind, maybe you could do something with them. They always love featuring fresh flowers, and then bouquets with purchase. So it's a really cute way to, you know, bring in some some people to an interest to check out their brand, especially since they're new to town, and welcome them with a bouquet. And I did, I went above and beyond for my first and I do this with every single client. And that's where the true artists is in me, I always go above and beyond, because I'm so passionate about succeeding in this journey, and making it what I wanted want it to be that having clients to support that means the world to me, and they gave me free rein the second go round, because they were like, what could you do we really like your story, like, Can you can you just some kind of side of it. And so the second time they came in town, I did a floral demonstration. And then we gave away those flower arrangements to one lucky customer. And it was so fun. And then that opened my eyes to the idea of doing pop ups and sharing my story and having a little flower booth wherever. So yeah, it's been it's been gradually evolving into something way bigger than I had ever imagined. Yeah, your quickness. So clients like that. They scooped me up and they gave me a chance. And yeah, that's my gratitude for that is that I can't articulate that quite because it takes it takes courage, you know, and then it takes openness. So you're definitely you're an entrepreneur. I mean, without a shadow of a doubt. It's like it seems like you're on a constant stream of how do I expand to do more, do more, do more? So what have been some of your biggest hurdles in starting your company? Having a young child and that was the love of our life. He is our little boy he's almost he's almost four Kenny mom. But starting this at that point in life was was very tempting. And look at this little one.

Amy: 22:09

Right on cue. ran on

Unknown: 22:11

Kia. Yep, racy wave, Hi, sorry, my, my foot almost done what she was

Amy: 22:17

just talking about her son. What seems Enzo, I love that.

Unknown: 22:20

Enzo, thank you. Yes, and so is almost four. And he is such a nature lover. He loves flowers. He loves that I'm doing this. But anyway, that was really hard, because I was also going through a great hormonal shift. And maybe this can lead into my diagnosis. But as women, our hormones are constantly changing and evolving, I had no idea the magnitude of how it could hinder my physical and mental well being until just a few years ago. So that was one of my biggest challenges. Absolutely. Another was finding a sustainable way to keep up with my artistry I have constantly molded and shaped this into what I need it to be to support me as a successful individual means I need to be healthy, I need to maintain my mental and emotional and physical well being. And that means I can't get tapped out I can't get physically worn down. And so I have carefully chose the opportunities along the way that are authentic and genuine to me, and that I truly feel will give back in a certain way. And I think if you continue to remain genuine, I think it's very difficult in today's world, because you're gonna get you're gonna get thrown in all sorts of directions. So many people have so many ideas for you, once they see that you have talent, and you will be pulled and pulled and pulled. But there is intuition within us that absolutely can guide us successfully. And if you listen to that voice and you you trust in those opportunities that you feel more sure about, I think it's going to bring you a great amount of success and happiness. So that's beautiful. Well said. Alright, so that brings me into your diagnosis because you brought it up a couple times. But we haven't officially said what it is. So it you said it was a year ago. Was it 2020 or 2019? You were diagnosed with PMDD, right? Yes. Okay. So July July of 2019. I have received an official diagnosis of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is abbreviated PMDD. And this is something that is estimated to affect anywhere from five to 8% of females or females assigned at birth. And it can impact you can worsen over the course of time because as we get older, again our hormones that certain hormones are getting depleted. The shifts in the spikes during the fertile years that It's intense. So it's, it's through all of that. It was a lot of tracking. And it was a lot of therapy and monitoring when I was having these really deep, just very disruptive emotional down swings with heightened anxiety, and extreme depression. And it was coming about in a very cyclical way, it just seemed, gosh, I felt like I just went through this last month, you know, and even even my husband and my partner, he was recognizing a pattern, and it seemed that essentially about half the month, and it's not even consecutive days. And that's what's so frustrating about, it's not like, I can just be like, Okay, I'm gonna check out from society for these two weeks. It's like an up and down and up and down. And it's through the shifts in my hormones, my body cannot handle that shift between progesterone and estrogen. And I have a very clockwork cycle and the aspect that I am on a regular 20 to 30 day cycle. So I was able to map out through tracking my cycles, especially after the birth of my son, when I noticed a very hard transition between I was weaning him, I had been breastfeeding him, he was around 14 months of age. And it was in the months leading up where my supply was lessening that I was feeling more depressed. And, and so it was gaining independence. And I was feeling frantic, and I was searching and I was like What What am I who am I like I'm a mom and I I'm staying at home with my beautiful baby boy. But there's something here that doesn't feel right. Why do I Why do I get almost rageful? Every few weeks? Why do I have these terrible bouts of depression where I just don't even want to get out of bed, my body aches, I was just I was I was feeling so terrible about myself, because I had the most beautiful life and so many abundant blessings. And I have I come with a from a family that we have faced some very traumatic situations in the past several years. And we have we have an amazing special needs nice. And you know, we've faced illnesses and and it's been hard on our family, you know, and and inside I was like, Am I just dealing with that? Why do I feel so negative all the time? Why can't I just be happy like everybody else, like I was just constant doubts, constant insecurities, constant negative self talk. And during those down swings, I was noticing my thoughts were becoming very strong towards suicidal ideation. And that is a hard topic for some to stomach and I understand why it is something I lived through every single month. I will say that this is the first month through amazing encouragement, support and amazing system that I've I've finally tackled these thoughts and they do not scare me anymore, I'm able to push them away. That is like huge for me, though, has been amazing. It's so incredible I am my gratitude is I will get teary eyed every time I talk about it. Because the number of times that I have told myself you are not worth it. You are not worth living. You wouldn't even believe and he would not recognize me on those days. And hiding that from the world was extremely damaging. Practicing that mentality since backtracking I do believe I had this illness since I was 16. went through a very, very identifiable behaviors that I'm now aware of. It's incredible how much my body just is like on a repeat, right? But I'm getting smarter than it. I'm doing mind over matter. Absolutely. I'm practicing yoga, and eating healthier. I'm getting more sleep, I am putting my wellness and well being first before anything else. Because I know that's what's going to make me the best mama, the best wife, and the best individual here in my life for the world. Because that's authentic and genuine to me. And I'm not scared of showing everyone who I am anymore because it's not so scary. I do so thank you I just want to say you know, I'm

Amy: 29:30

glad you're talking about this because I actually had never heard of this before when Katie was we were kind of talking about this episode. So I'm so glad you're bringing it to there are people that likely have the same thing that don't even know and they probably just think it's PMS because like everyone gets PMS but like there's definitely a scale of, you know, the extreme that you're dealing with and then so I just never had heard of it before and that's so interesting. So, in terms of your treatment is It sounds like you're tackling it with lots of different things. Is it all through therapy and meditation and those sorts of things? Or is there also medications that are helpful for this? Or supplements or things like that? Yes,

Unknown: 30:13

yes, absolutely. So thank you. Yes, it it's been through a lot of constant and very dedicated therapy. I go every other two weeks. I love my therapist, and I love her. I have an amazing psychiatrist who's on board with us, my OBGYN is in the picture, as well as my endocrinologist. So I think having a good support system of professionals to guide you through this, opening up to my loved ones. So liberating my closest people that I trust greatly. I finally when the thoughts became too scary for me. And I was feeling like they were very convincing, just hard to say they were very convincing. I finally opened up to my husband, my husband didn't even know Oh,

Amy: 31:03

my gosh, a year. Yeah. Wow. That's a big thing

Unknown: 31:07

to keep from your life partner. And the amount of guilt that comes with that alone is something to you know, play with your mind. But you know what i i He has been a pillar of support along with my best friends. And I'm also working with a wellness coach Jenna Longoria. She is the period guru. I totally want to connect you guys. Wow. Amazing. She has dedicated her life to helping women like me, women with endometriosis, PCOS and fertility, etc. So we should Yes, I will make that connection because I think she would love to be a part of the show. I just want to say I am you know, I've known you my whole life, obviously. And my cousin and you have always had seemed like one of the most positive people to me, like you've always had such a positive demeanor, I would have never had any idea that you were holding this in and hiding this from the world. And thank you for being so brave, and sharing it with us. So let's hit some stats here. Because I think it's good for people to to hear. So you're saying this is something that you can be born with? Is that what I heard you say? I think you can fully be predisposition to a disposition that Yes, right. But it happens obviously, as you're older and you go through puberty, right. That's what it's okay. And well, it can start for select individuals with that. And it's usually individuals who had a difficult childhood. And I think for me, recognizing that I always had a certain level of social anxiety, and had a hard time expressing my emotions as a child. I think keeping all that in words, it really does build up and you start training your brain to think negatively. Thank you for recognizing that I am a positive person outwards. I try to define and I try to absolutely uplift others but I had never given myself that gift this year. And for the first time I can say I love myself and my soul. And it when you're authentically positive and you really believe in hope that there could be something better and you can allow yourself to dream a little bit. Let that guide you if you're having a hard time and please reach out to me that's such a good message. I love you. I want to know how did you how did you go through years of trying to get diagnosed? How did you get end up ultimately being diagnosed? And I heard you say endocrinologist is there is this also endocrine? i Yes, I do think my thyroid definitely comes into play here. I have low TSH right now. So I know that I have a hyperactive thyroid and that can play into our hormones and so I'm working. I'm probably gonna get on medication for that you had also asked, am I on another medication and I am on Lexapro that is called an SSRI. It's a serotonin something reuptake inhibitor. I am not good with those kind of medical terminologies but it's an anti anxiety and antidepressant. And I've been on it since July of 2019. So right oh my gosh, are 2020 July of 2020. Thank you. I kept my mirror. I know. It's really hard. I can't believe it's 2021. But yeah, I started then with a very low dosage because I was very scared and hesitant of introducing a medication to my body. I had been on another one at an earlier point before I got married. And then I subsequently got off of that when I did get married because I felt a swing of happiness and joy and I was like okay, and now we're gonna try for a baby and it's life is exciting. And I think situationally, I was able to heal myself in certain points of time, or at least keep the symptoms more at bay. But being in triggering situations, is something that absolutely throws me for a deep spiral. So I'm very conscious now of setting healthy boundaries, keeping toxic relationships at bay, it's hard to identify those to some people, and then learning to love individuals, you know, in different ways so that I can continue to stay connected with them. But maybe I need a little distance, you know, something like that. So that's been healing. And then additionally, yeah, the therapy is what opened our eyes to this, my therapist was recognizing and she's like, just something's not matching up here. Like, have you talked to your OBGYN and at that point in time, I was trying to get pregnant. So those emotions were involved. And it wasn't really until after when I was noticing those trends are going on my emotions, that she's like, Hey, just try, just try marking it on your calendar and just see is it happening? And sure enough, it happens around the time of ovulation staining.

Amy: 36:10

Okay, so before that you just thought it was generalized anxiety? Probably. Yeah, no

Unknown: 36:18

person like that. That's where Western medicine does us a disservice. And that's why I'm passionate about opening up to females about this because, yes, absolutely. I have I have talked with, I don't know, maybe 40 women or so this year on this topic. At least five of those have received a diagnosis. Oh, wow. I think this is much more prevalent than what we are realizing it. Sure. Yeah. It's not it's not talked about enough. When I finally mentioned the word suicidal ideation, negative self talk, cyclical behaviors of rage, full surge, followed by extreme remorse, guilt, self hatred, dysmorphia, dysmorphia, and its greatest form, I, physically, I feel like I am looking like a different person, I will not look at myself in the mirror on those days, I wouldn't face myself, I always looked down at the ground, did not make eye contact with individuals when I was feeling like that. Having that amount of isolation is so detrimental to your health. And then all of the negativity then starts manifesting itself. Physically, my body ached, I had extreme muscle fatigue, I extreme fatigue in general, it's not Yeah, we all get tired around the course of our period. But it was like, I just wanted to sleep and I wanted to sleep through the pain. Absolutely. There were days where my husband had to completely step in as a sole parent, because I simply could not. And he's been so incredibly amazing. He is a our hero. And, and Enzo is my hero, and so calls me his hero, too. So it's, it's definitely a family journey. And I think that if we can just remove the stigma of it, and if we can start practicing and talking out loud about how we're actually feeling, I think the world is going to shift in a better direction. And we've got to do this. We've experienced a lot of trauma in the past few years.

Amy: 38:27

But yeah, I was gonna ask you so once you were diagnosed with something specific PMDG Did you almost feel better? Because you're like, okay, at least it's something it's not just like, like, it's actually identified. It's around my period, like you're starting to narrow in and then I'm sure once you started telling people you probably had this wave of relief and almost felt better, just because you're not hiding it.

Unknown: 38:51

Yeah. At first, before I received the diagnosis, I literally thought I was an evil person after month. A lot of a lot of people who have this condition, they call it Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. And and that's, that's really sad, because I definitely don't exude that outwardly toward anybody else except to my closest loved ones who unfortunately, they would see that really dark side and they stood by my side. And I know not everybody is as lucky and when suicidal ideation comes into play, we have to be there for those kinds of people and start making them feel like it's going to be okay. You have something that a lot of women struggle with. And we're gonna get through this together and there are going to be tactics, there's going to be ups and downs and ups and downs. But we do have the ability to provide you with some resources and tools and and if we can find that support for people I absolutely want to get back to that community and I'm trying to think of a creative way to do so. What is it what's the treatment Lisa? So is is like separate like, how did you come up with this plan of taking the SSRI? And was this? Is this all part of the treatment? Or how are you managing it in whole? Alongside with my therapy and my psychiatrist and my OBGYN There are a few different protocols you can follow. So yes, medication, there are some supplements. Magnesium is huge room huge. So having and certain foods, a lot of omegas, a lot of leafy greens, things like that. So dietary wise, there's things but another course of action is a hysterectomy, and oophorectomy and I will say last month, I almost I did schedule an appointment with my OB to talk about that, because I was so desperate. But I think I finally made a huge breakthrough last month. And I know that that's very possible that I will slip up and down still. But I feel like I'm facing this thing head on now. And I'm not stepping back. Good sign you have the right tool ready. Yeah, right tools, and I'm ready to share them. So I am like a PMDD. Warrior. I think that yeah. Why don't you are you are you are? Absolutely D wire. Yeah, but there's a great, there's a great few groups on Instagram that I'm following. It's been really nice connecting with others who have it, I recently came out on Instagram by announcing that condition. Thank you. That was cool. After that last downward spring swing when I was like, I don't want to take away these organs that made me a female, I'm so sad that that could really potentially be it. And I think it like made me step up in a way by recognizing I'm not ready to lose that piece of this journey yet. That I am going to give this my all I am going to push those negative thoughts away as if they are the worst enemy. Absolutely. But I'm also going to hug and forgive myself from where I've been. And I will I will try to love on myself during those hard days and not recognizing that I think I am worthy of love and life and making that switch. And that switch in my mentality is going to guide me through this. So it's

Amy: 42:23

huge. I mean, the talk track that you tell yourself is everything. Yeah. And I'm so glad to see you treating yourself more positively and what you just said, which is forgiving yourself and like giving yourself a break versus you know what you were doing prior? So I'm amazing. You're getting

Unknown: 42:43

our masters of internalization and the guilt trip, for sure. Our masters for everything that we want to achieve in our lives. It's it's it's easy to go down that road and especially as a mom. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I even I think oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead, please. Well, I was gonna say even as a mom and even as an adolescence and I think that, you know, we are in a different age now where I think society is seeing how much we can absolutely contributes with our minds, our souls and, and with our amazing ideas in the way that we're connecting people I am. I'm a feminist, and proud to be one but also, I'm embracing being okay with sharing this with men as well. I've opened up to my yoga instructor day one, what are you here for my emotional well being? I shared that with a class and I was like, here we go, Lisa, thing out loud. You're gonna do it. And it's not going to be that bad. And let me tell you, it's been beautiful. And I'm sharing it with guys. Let's not make the target talk so taboo. Yeah, like we are physical. We are humans. And this is what our bodies do. I mean, like, it's amazing what they can do. Let's celebrate it instead of being like, let's not talk about that guy. Of course. Yeah. out of it is so powerful. And I just have to say, I see what you're doing and what you're saying. You're really truly going to help someone that's listening. And you gave so many tools and tips that can not only help someone identify what they're potentially experiencing, but also how that they can overcome it. And I just want to thank you for being so brave. And I think what you're doing with your with your floral art is is healing you. I mean, it clearly is doing so, so much for you. So I'm just I'm really happy for you. I really am. Thank you, Katie. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. I'm very happy to be here. Before we wrap up. I quickly want to know how our listener can find you if they want to get their hands on your amazing art because these florals are Something I mean, it's not like anything I've ever seen anywhere else before. It's really spectacular. So how can the listener find you? Well, thank you Katie. That's so sweet. Um, I'm so passionate to share my journey with others. I would love some new followers and people to reach out to me and talk to me about flowers. And like I said, I am going to start traveling with my workshops, and I hope to be in a town near you one day, so they can reach me at Ken posto Fiore. It's composto dot CRT.

Amy: 45:31

Well, thank you so much for sharing this we follow you your content is incredible. And we know that our listeners will love it too. So we'll make sure to put all of that info in our show notes. Okay, so we're gonna get quickly to our rap session and ask you a couple quick questions and I'm going to add one in because I thought of it as we were talking. So firstly, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Unknown: 45:53

Okay, this is tricky. Um, I would say rest in water absolutely are key components, but also opening yourself up to just going for a walk outside. Spiritually I feel like when you when you give yourself access to nature, I know this is maybe not It's the beauty from within that's gonna make you shine and be more confident. So if you find something that speaks to you or brings you that level of joy and peace and competence, like keep doing it and I feel like that will shine through you. I also love st makeup. Have you guys heard of st No. S It's s e i n t um, I met a wonderful individual here in Houston. She's my rep it's one of those companies where they don't have they don't carry it in store but all you do is just order online and if you want to support a rep you can otherwise you can just order it online. I think they come in these amazing tins and then you can put it in like a compact but it's like cream based blushes and lip and a little tin and then their eyeshadows are just like so beautiful. And that in addition with Ilia beauty serum, it's like a that's like like my liquid foundation or like my CC cream. I love those those products a lot

Amy: 47:19

that the earlier like hyaluronic acid or like the the serum Hyaluronic serum that's tinted with SPF. Yes. Yeah.

Unknown: 47:26

Yeah, I totally awesome. And then Yan st is so cool. Because like I think their mission is to foster that confidence within women. And I will say when I wear their makeup, I feel like I'm glowing. So I don't know what it is about it. I don't know if it's like the cute tins are unpackaging it whatever it is, you can tell that there is a lot of intention in their products. And I think brands like that really care about their their clients and your experience. So all right, well, here's our next one is we call it our five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dried off. Uber alerted you. They pinged you, they're five minutes away, you have five minutes to like, throw it together and get an Uber on time. What are your holy grails your go to is to make it happen. You might have just done my thing. I did. Yeah, seriously, I can do my makeup in five minutes. And it's that quick with those products. Like I just rub on my serum and go and then I have a little bit of blush. And I do some eyeshadow and mascara and it's like, it is such an easy formula to follow. I don't you know, I don't do a lot of contouring or anything like that. But I feel like I look natural. And I like it that my skin actually shine through that Ilia serum. So yeah, with that baby up and then I just would let my hair air dry. And I do have a product. My mother in law got it for me. It smells heavenly. I will send you the link for that. It's a hair serum and I just put it on my ends. And like it's just it smoothes it out. I have naturally wavy hair so it like it dries like that. Otherwise I put it on and like blow dry it and it gives it like volume. It's like nice. Smells nice. Yeah. All right, Amy, what was this elusive other question you're throwing on?

Amy: 49:12

My other question was if you had to pick one flower, what would it be? What is your favorite?

Unknown: 49:19

Um,

Amy: 49:22

so hearty. My peony? I can tell you that. Yeah,

Unknown: 49:27

I would say it's between it's between three I would say dolly is after the lovely dahlias are so so abundant in Washington and then recently I went to Asheville and went to some amazing farms there. So dahlias have so much variety and color and their pedals. I think they're like first step like sunshine and like look at this coloring. I just worked with a and some have the big yellow center any flower the big yellow center is also a favorite like I love cumin They'll look how cute these dainty babies are mme. Oh, they're like the TF Canna meal. Cool. Um strawflower Is this one this is another favorite. That's beautiful. These are like pay for a pedal.

Amy: 50:14

Oh wow. That's a pretty,

Unknown: 50:16

you can cut off the heads of these once they're dry. And this This is an everlasting flower so it'll always stay this yellow and I just like put them in a little bowl. They're so beautiful, like great things that they were made a paper. Yeah, and they learned some of my those are my favorites. Yeah, some of my favorites so

Amy: 50:35

and how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Unknown: 50:41

Gratitude? Absolutely. Gratitude and staying present. My son is my nirvana. experiencing the world through his eyes, getting out in nature with him and seeing all the teeny tiny details. He has grown my love for nature exponentially. And and nature. Nature is where I seek my Nirvana and I find it the most so yeah, I think to Phil, you got it. You gotta get outside.

Amy: 51:13

Okay, awesome. So we do a product recommendation or review every week and I know Katie has one for us this week. So I don't know what it is. I'm excited to hear about it.

Unknown: 51:22

I do and I feel like we should start getting swag from this company because we've mentioned them so many times. is Sunday. Riley auto correct. Have you used this one? Amy?

Amy: 51:36

Is that the caffeine?

Unknown: 51:38

It's the eye cream? Yep. The caffeine. Yeah, have you ever used it Lisa? No, but I've heard of this Sunday Riley I want to know about it. So that's I just ran out of my eye creams to tell me. Okay,

Amy: 51:52

so this is an auto erase okay, it's

Unknown: 51:54

called no auto correct. And correct. It is a brightening and Depuffing Eye Contour Cream for $65 for like point five ounces, but I mean it's eye cream so it lasts a really long time. It's a runaway bestseller, and it banishes tired looking eyes it instantly delivers a lifted and deep puffed look to the eye area, which I've noticed instantly. I'm going to always like puffy in the mornings. And also it does help with dark circles. I for sure have been super tired this week and my face wasn't entirely showing it so I feel like it must be my eye cream. Some of the key ingredients are caffeine like you said Brazilian ginseng root extract. That's part of what diminishes like the appearance of the puffiness which is me every day. Horse chestnut extract X mela Oh, well, I can't say it so we're not going to mention it. I'm really like a huge Sunday, Riley fanatic. I think their products are amazing. I've used I don't know, maybe three or four different ones. And this is my latest and greatest. So I highly recommend that this Sunday. Riley autocorrection commies to get an on Sunday riley.com I got mine at Sephora. Probably at Ulta. So yeah, I dig it. Yeah. I want to try it too now.

Amy: 53:08

Yeah. I think I actually got that at Sephora a couple of years ago, because I went in asking for like, what's the best ice cream and that was the one they gave me. And then I used it and then I don't I probably ran out of it and then tried something else. And I forgot about it. So

Unknown: 53:22

it's really like when you put it on, it's very moisturizing without being like tacky or sticky. It seeps in really easily. And actually, I was like, we were traveling for a wedding. And I forgot to bring my face cream. And I was just wondering, let me use a little bit of this. And I use that in place and my skin looked great. So I mean, you know in a pinch, but like that's it's it has like that nice texture, that nice consistency, where I like what you're saying, I love that. Yeah, and your skin still glows through like I've had some eye creams before they're like tacky or like dry you out. This was really nice. That's great. Ooh, yeah. I like the lightness that it sounds like it's a lighter formula. Yes, it is. Totally. So it's a good one. Awesome. Yeah. So did you say that you had a mantra for as Lisa, but breathing safety and to every one of my rooms and my home has been incredibly healing. I just walked into a room and say I am safe here. I am present. And I am grateful. And it's gratitude. Anything that expresses gratitude is always a good mantra for me. So I don't know, I vary based on like what I'm feeling. I always give myself pep talks. Now sometimes I talk out loud. And I'm like, you've got this, you know, but it's um, it's funny for someone who was so scared to share her voice. I'm so grateful to be here to start doing it. So thank you for having me. I'm so

Amy: 54:48

sorry. It was so incredible.

Unknown: 54:50

Yeah. So I want to repeat that mantra that you just said about what was it? I am I am safe. Can you say those three things because that's really powerful. Yeah. Okay. I I am safe. I am present and I am grateful. Beautiful. Love it. Thank you so much. Yeah, we're honored to have you. Thank you for joining me. So it's my honor. I love it. I'm glad.

Amy: 55:13

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the shownotes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 31 - The New Jewelry Brand You Must Add To Your Cart - Beautiful, Affordable Luxuries with Meredith Quill (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 31.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Amy: 0:07

Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Unknown: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a form of fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started. Welcome back to the show Nirvana sisters family. I am so excited to introduce Meredith Quill to everyone today. I have been following Beckett and Quill since you launched so I can't wait to hear all about it I an early adopter to the brand and love it and love everything it stands for so we can't wait to get into that. But before I do it, let me tell our listeners about the fabulous Meredith quell. So at the age of three, Meredith wore her mother's engagement ring to preschool and told the teachers that she had gotten married. This was the start of a lifelong passion for jewelry. As a teenager, she started making her own pieces learning how to solder and set stones using a variety of metals. After getting married and having three kids Meredith saw a hole in the marketplace for reasonably priced beautiful jewelry. She started beating bracelets and necklaces for her family and friends and through word of mouth the business quickly took off. Her line of well priced classic pieces could be seen on celebrities like Dizzy Phillips and also on regular moms like herself and me because I'm wearing my bekende quilt today. She recently joined forces with dry bar founder and entrepreneur ally Webb, who's my girl crush to form Beckett and Quill and affordable luxurious brand of jewelry that brings a little sparkle to everyone. Which is so true. So welcome, Meredith.

Unknown: 1:50

Thank you.

Amy: 1:51

So glad you're on the show.

Unknown: 1:54

Thank you for having me. I'm very happy salutely

Amy: 1:57

Yeah, and we really wanted to have you on the show. Because, of course we love jewelry. But our show is all about beauty and well being and taking care of yourself. And I always feel like when you have a great piece of jewelry on, whether it's a necklace or an earring or bracelet, it just like makes your day better. It just makes you feel good. And you just have that extra sense of joy. So it's really relevant, I think to our audience. Yeah. So that being said, we started the show doing our nirvana of the week or weekly Nirvana, as we like to call it. And this is just something that has brought us joy this week. Just a little spark of nirvana. As we get through all this, these crazy times and stressful times, so I'll hand it to you, Katie to talk tell us about your Nirvana this week.

Unknown: 2:43

Okay, well, thank you all. Meredith, thank you for being here. It's such a thrill to have you. I'm so excited to meet you and chat. So thanks. I think my Nirvana was probably this morning. I have. As I've repeatedly said on this and moved into a house recently in your house, it has been very hectic and I actually I've been in the house for, I want to say like almost three weeks. And this morning was literally the first time that I had my house to myself for longer than maybe 10 minutes. Because we moved in. Our children went into quarantine, my house had asymptomatic COVID. And then my parents came in town for a visit. And a few days before they got here, I was out of the house all day every day preparing for them. And then they got here and they have left to sit in my house, which is honestly that should be the Nirvana that my parents are here. They don't listen to this anyway. So it's fine. It's interesting. I adore my parents, I adore them. I love them so much. But to have some peace and quiet in my house and like clear my hand and have my coffee and my fruit this morning by myself was heavenly. So that's

Amy: 3:49

so amazing. Yeah, so mine was last night, my husband had a get together with some of his work team, which he doesn't really do that much because they're all over the place. And they all came into town. And they had meetings this week. So I was working on like just putting together like appetizers and flowers and doing all this stuff. And the house was quiet. No one was here. It was so nice. And my favorite part of that was I love putting together a flower design. And I had all these flowers on the counter. I put on like music like I put on jazz music or something. And I was just listening to it and like doing my flower designs and vases and everything. And it was just like five minutes of peace. That was so nice. No one was in the house. No one's bothering me. And I just like loved putting it together. So I did that. And then the rest of night was actually crazy because my dog. No, I'm telling everybody this my dog had on the stairs. He's fine, thank God. But literally 10 minutes after that. He got really hurt or we thought we did but he was fine. Thank god he's really old. I've been talking about on the show. Meredith he's 16 and a half. So like every week, there's something that's going on with him. And we're getting a new puppy this weekend. So I'm super excited for that. That'll be my future nirvana. But it was just so funny cuz I was thinking about it today and I'm like, what was my Nirvana this week? And I'm like, it was actually that five minutes where I was like designing flowers and putting them around the house. It was so peaceful to me. Anyway, what about you, Meredith?

Unknown: 5:06

My Nirvana this week was that I got to take a hike alone is just my favorite thing to do. And I don't do it often enough. I used to live right near a hiking trail before we had a bunch of kids. And I used to go every single day with my dog. And then we moved, that dog died. And so I stopped hiking. And then But recently, I tried to go I dropped the kids at school because they're finally back at school full time. And so then I went for a hike this week, and it was heaven.

Amy: 5:42

That sounds so nice, especially in LA. Hiking.

Unknown: 5:45

Exactly.

Amy: 5:46

Do you have a new dog? Are you gonna get a new dog so you can go home?

Unknown: 5:50

No, no more jobs? That you have three kids? I am I am off the dogs until the kids can take care of the dog.

Amy: 5:59

Yeah, good. How are your kids? Meredith?

Unknown: 6:02

Um, I have a 13 year old daughter, a 10 year old daughter and an eight year old son.

Amy: 6:07

Awesome. Yeah.

Unknown: 6:09

Should we go right into our quickfire? Because we want to hear all about beckoning Quill and you and the whole GM so Hey, good. How long have you started creating jewelry when you're a teenager? like Amy said, right? So is that it started that young of an age and you just continued doing it always? Was it always a big hobby? No, it really was I went to I was a dancer back in the old days, I was a ballet dancer, and I went, Yeah, I don't need any of them anymore. Um, and I was really serious about ballet. And I went to an arts camp in Connecticut, I went to a camp called bucks rock. And the only other thing I did at Camp besides ballet was jewelry making. And so if I wasn't dancing, I was like, learning how to put together pieces and set stones and, and I absolutely loved it. And I went to that camp for a couple of years. But then I sort of lost the passion for it, I don't know. And then I went to college and got out of college and whatever. And then it wasn't until I had kids that I needed something to like, occupy myself. And so I started making jewelry again, after I had my son. And I started making just beading, which is how a lot of people start. And it's just very cathartic. I don't know what the word is, it's, it's really like you feel like you can get into a really good place and like four hours could go by and I'm just beating and so I started selling the bracelets and and then it kind of turned into a little business. So it was really just a hobby that escalated. I feel like you could really Zen out on it. Like you were just saying if it's your thing like for me personally, I think it would be tedious because I'm not good with like little things like that. I think I would go berserk yes it yourself. You just completely go in the zone and it's like this peaceful little nirvana for you is what it sounds like. It's so cool. Absolutely. I don't know many people who enjoy the it's very meticulous, it's very detail oriented. I've talked about this with my sister and she's like, I don't know how you sit there and put the things on the chains and the lock and the options like how do you even see it all now one? Thank god yeah, it is it is such a good zen place to go into for me so

Amy: 8:46

and it's it's funny I it's it's so nice to have that outlet because I think that is so crucial for everybody to have to be able to have an outlet where all the stuff that's on your mind kind of goes in the back of your mind and you can just zone out I mean for you it's jewelry for Katie I'm sure it's like your meditation or other things that you do for me it's like doing something creative, whether that's putting together flowers or you know, doing something on the computer where I'm designing but it's so important to have that so that's awesome. Okay, so what is your favorite type of jewelry? Like one thing

Unknown: 9:20

right now it goes I you know, I kind of go in phases. Right now I am obsessed with our necklaces. I just I just don't I can't stop putting more on I think I have four on today. Yeah, I need more. Like Like most like a lot of people right now I'm very into layering and mixing and matching and everything. Yeah. So yeah,

Amy: 9:44

I have to say necklace is my favorite too. I I always love putting on fun necklaces but I need more. I'm only wearing two today but I need to

Unknown: 9:51

get up you have to style you up a little bit more.

Amy: 9:54

I know we definitely do. I love the black heart and I also saw that you have other colors now to turquoise and Think, technically anyone ever tell you that you look like Cindy Crawford?

Unknown: 10:04

Oh, that's the nicest compliment in the entire world. And I I've gotten that a lot in the past. The ally says it to me all the time.

Amy: 10:13

And I get I got your picture. I was like she's literally Cindy Crawford. I'm gorgeous for our listeners. Just Just so you know.

Unknown: 10:22

You know what? I'm going to tell my husband. You guys said that tonight.

Amy: 10:27

Okay, so what is your favorite or newest piece of technical jewelry that you're loving? I know, we just talked about the necklace. Is there anything else that you're loving right now from your collection,

Unknown: 10:37

I'll show you us is coming out in December. So it's ran. This is our if you guys can see it's a Malakai the stone is called Melkite. And it's the most rewarding variegated kind of green, like dark green and light green and all mixed. And it's just set. It's it's in a really simple setting. It's 14 karat gold. And I really love it. I think it'll be a great Christmas gift. So that's coming out of the holidays.

Amy: 11:13

Yeah, I love it. So pretty.

Unknown: 11:15

I want to know, how did you your your your style of jewelry, I think is very specific. Like it's very delicate. And also it looks super, super expensive. But the price point I think is excellent. So and how did you kind of find your way into that into that knock? Um, well, after having three kids, I realized I couldn't afford to buy anyone's jewelry anymore. As much as I love all of the Jennifer Fisher's and the Jennifer Myers of the world, I couldn't even fathom spending 1000 2000 $3,000 on a necklace. It's just way out of the budget. And so I started really designing pieces that I wanted that I liked for myself, which is still what I do. And and I wanted it to be classic, because I don't want these to be throwaway pieces, but I want them to have a little bit of edge. So I like I love modern stuff. And I sort of combined those with using whatever materials are the most cost effective. So like on a lot of our necklaces, like this is our new circle link. It's, um, it's kind of it's a classic Belcher chain, but it's gold fill, and it looks fantastic. But it's, I don't know, 1/100 of the price of that was what 14 karat gold would be. So whatever I can do in 14k, that's not too expensive. I do it that way, like all of our earrings are 14 karat gold, because I have daughters and I only put 14 karat gold and they're yours. And we sell those

Amy: 12:57

earrings. Pretty.

Unknown: 13:01

So we do a lot of kids stuff also because my daughter started coming into my little jewelry closet and stealing all of my jewelry. So certain things we do in 14 karat gold that I think are necessary, but the things that I think are cool and beautiful and that are sort of right now. We can do in goldfill because it looks so good. And I have a really good manufacturer downtown that I work with who helps me with, you know, all of the materials and the metals that we can use and so I just really want everyone to be able to buy it. Yeah, it's genius. There's a hole in the market you filled out without a doubt. Oh,

Amy: 13:40

yeah, absolutely. And I think too, with accessible, you know, luxury type items, especially jewelry. Now, it's like you feel I feel better wearing it because I don't like I just feel like if you have an expensive piece, you're worried about wearing it all the time. So you only wear it when you're going on a special occasion. And with someone like this you can wear it every day and not worry that if something happens to it, you're like going to be devastated. So it's like I just love that category. It's so smart.

Unknown: 14:12

Exactly. And like the other day my son was saying hello and grabbed my necklace and pulled it off and broke the chain. I was like Sorry. It's not gonna break the bank.

Amy: 14:24

Exactly. So tell us about your process because you were just saying about your manufacturer. Like how does that all work? Because I know you're in your jewelry closet and you say that's where you make all of your creations and inspiration and this closet I need to visit because it looks incredible. But how does that work? Like are you making every single piece Do you have someone manufacturing like what's the

Unknown: 14:44

I'm designing work piece. And I source all of this Jones like as you were saying so these earrings we just came out with the Opals this week these little studs, um, I gotta have to get those. And so I I buy all the individuals stones I look at everything and then I have a manufacturer who because he's the best at doing all this he sets all my stones and he solders all the pieces that we need soldering like we have a couple of rings here that we make he makes anything that needs to be soldered. These are our little sort of delicate little petite rings, I can't get enough of them. I'm gonna have them on every finger now. I'm not pretty. So whatever I can't do in my own little jewelry closet, like I put together all the necklaces and stuff, but he will do anything that necessitates you know, he, um, a lot of our pieces are a metal called Vernay, which is mean it which means it's made in sterling silver, but then it's coated in 14 karat gold. So it's a really nice metal underneath, which is silver, and then the gold on top. less expensive than gold, but like sort of a step up from goldfill or goldplated. So he does all that for me downtown. But it's great because I live 15 minutes away from him. So

Amy: 16:04

we find I know that would be such a hard person to find.

Unknown: 16:09

It was in the beginning, I went through a bunch of manufacturers and then found Pedro and Pedro and I are just he's the best

Amy: 16:17

man. He's the

Unknown: 16:18

man. He makes me. I always tell him I said you make my jewelry dreams come true. I mean, if I design it, you know, I sort of told him I really wanted to make this this bead band ring that we have and I like made this little drawing and I don't use the computer for any of the drawings, a lot of like high end sort of designers do that. But I'm like, just draw it all out. And he's like, no problem. So he says a lot. Amazing, a genius partnership. Exactly. Love it. That's yeah, so tell me about your grandmother. And the name. The inspiration behind the company that I'm gonna name is Sophia. Oh, thank you. Um, my grandmother's maiden name was Beckett. So she was Henrietta Beckett and my grandmother absolutely inspired my love of jewelry. She had this giant drawer in one of her dressers and my sister and I would get to her apartment in Philadelphia and the first place we would be lying to this drawer and pull it out and she wore really cool pieces. She wore gigantic, like beautiful cameo rings and she wore giant Jade necklaces. And she really loved the stones that were not the most popular. She She didn't wear a lot of diamonds. She didn't wear rubies. She didn't wear sapphires. She wore Jade and coral, and onyx and all of these sorts of different stones that you think of as like maybe the less expensive sort of stones which they are. But so my sister and I would go to this drawer and just pull it out and wear everything just put on tons of her beaded she had tons of beaded necklaces. And she wore this beautiful chain link bracelet. So I wear a bracelet, this little link bracelet. She had a giant disc attached to it. And it had her initials on it. And I think it might have had either maybe her anniversary or something. But she wore it every day and banged around the house. And it was all like messed up and bent and patina that beautiful. And so she really Beckett was her maiden name. So it was a no brainer. When we were naming the business. And Ally really went for it. My business partner ally web went for the name just loved she loved the name Quill, she was like, let's just call it coil. And unfortunately, there are several businesses called quill. So I was really happy to incorporate my grandma's name into the mix.

Amy: 18:56

That's so nice. You know, you just mentioned something about that disc. Is that where this I'm wearing? I forget what this is called the disc. Is that was that the inspiration for this necklace?

Unknown: 19:05

Exactly. Yeah.

Amy: 19:07

That is so cool. I didn't know that. I mean, I knew about the company and the brands being named after your grandmother. But when you said that about the necklace and the disc I was like, Oh, I wonder if that was the inspiration that makes me feel so good wearing it

Unknown: 19:18

was I say that to everyone who buys it. I'm like my grandma inspired this piece is the first piece I designed. I was like I would love to wear I would never wear it on my wrist because it was just too it's too big for me. And I was like But I'd love to wear it around my neck because I love like I would love a chunky disc necklace. And I was like That's exactly right. The first piece I made so, so amazing. Yeah, you're saying that your love of jewelry can very much be hereditary. It's yeah, I think it's all for sure. Yeah.

Amy: 19:50

That's so fun. I like have this vision of like this big jewelry box. Like in your grandma's part. That's just so cool. My my grandmother um if that resonates with me because my grandmother, my buddy Ruth was very chic and always dressed and always looks good makeup always had a great outfit on. And her closet had so many clothes, but she had like tons of shoes. So that's probably where my love for shoes came from. Because same thing, like these gorgeous, like, just beautiful shoes everywhere. I actually have a couple pairs. But anyway, so I love that your grandmother is kind of, you know, behind the whole inspiration of your company. That's so heartwarming. So, you mentioned Ali, how did you meet Ali and tell us like kind of how that all came about? And then what does she like as a business partner? I mean, I feel like I know her just through Instagram and following her for so many years. But she seems just so creative and full of energy, but love to hear kind of like how that whole thing came together.

Unknown: 20:49

It came together because she got this necklace as a gift from a friend of hers. Um, and then, because ally being ally, she posted about it because she posts about things she loves. She said, Oh, I got this beautiful heart from Meredith Quill jewelry. And I was I'm, I'm, I'm still so new to Instagram. I didn't even I didn't know Ali before we met on Instagram. And I was like, Oh, this woman has so many followers, I should I should message her and say thank you. And so I said, Thank you so much for tagging me and let me send you some jewelry. And she was like, Let me please pay for it. And which was so nice of her because I was just a one woman operation. And so I sent her a bunch of pieces, and she just loved everything. And, um, and then message me one day and said, Look, I love all of your stuff. But your packaging sucks your market. You have no branding, the name sucks, like, she was like, Can I love it? Basically, it was kind of like, Can I help you? Salt and salt. And then very quickly, we realized that we would work very well together. So we went in business together and, um, and it sort of happened really organically. There was no you know, it was just like we every sort of skill set that Ali has, I do not have an all of them. We just have the perfect blend of she is like business, all business brain. And but she also has very good taste in jewelry. So that helps. And so we just really started building the company almost a year ago, and then launched last February. So it hasn't even really been a year yet. But but it's been great.

Amy: 22:46

That's incredible. Yeah, that's right. You launched in February because I bought this necklace for myself for Valentine's Day.

Unknown: 22:52

Yes. I'm sorry, the cat. Oh, please, please got to see this necklace. I'm obsessed obsessed obsessed. She was just love that.

Amy: 23:07

Girl. It's so yeah, I actually because I'm like a brand or and a marketer and so I of course order the necklace right away. And then when I got the packaging, I did a real on Instagram of it. I'll resurface it when we launched this episode so you can see it. But I did a reel of me like opening up the packaging and showing the necklace because I loved Of course all the branding and packaging. And I love this note that you guys send with every with every piece for the audience, it says thanks so much. Enjoy xx, Ellie and Meredith and it's as a thank you on the back. It's just super cute. And I love getting a personalized note. I think it's so important. So this I actually had on my vision board, which you can't see. But I have a vision board to the side of my desk here. And I have this hanging as like my inspo. So yeah, so it was really it was really cool. So that's awesome. And how's the company been doing since you launched? I mean, it hasn't even been any a year. That's incredible.

Unknown: 23:58

It has been great. It is so busy. It is busier than I ever thought it would be. Ali likes to run and says yes to absolutely everything. And I'm more of a person who likes to crawl and say no to everything. So we find a middle ground. So for example, Jesse James Decker had a subscription box come out a couple months ago or maybe even just a month ago. And Allie loved Okay, so this is this turquoise heart that she had gotten. And so cute. And you asked her she said could you guys put 5000 of these in my boxes? And Ali's like, Oh my God. No, I have to make those.

Amy: 24:50

Oh my god.

Unknown: 24:52

What was great though is that I said I'll do I can do 250 And so it ended up being this collaboration that was so great all On we our heart was an add on for her subscription box. And 200 people bought them. And so it's been things like that that sort of come up, you know, on top of running the website, and I still do all the shipping and allow aging. So yeah, so then when things like that come up, it's just it's so busy, because Ali knows everyone. And really, there's not anyone who doesn't adore her and wants to work with her because she is just this very authentic, wonderful person. And she's, so she's Yeah, she's just Yes, yes, yes. So I

Amy: 25:39

think she is very good. And she's smart, because that's such a great partnership and a good opportunity to get in front of a different audience. It's just such a good distribution play, because you're an online, you know, you don't have brick and mortar. So that's such a good way to get in 5000 homes, but you know, soon to come it sounds like Yes.

Unknown: 25:57

Yeah. of scaling, the manufacturing and shipping out and all of that, is that in the works, yes, it's going to have to be I think we're going to see, you know, holidays should be really nice and busy. That's coming up soon. So and we have a couple of collaborations coming up that are going to be that are huge. That will be, um, hopefully take us to the next level. And maybe I won't be you know, in my jewelry closet, doing all the packaging and stuff after that, but we'll see. I mean, it's it's, it's been going great. So far, so better.

Amy: 26:36

Yeah, that's amazing. I just that's Katie get that's a preview for your Hanukkah gift. So just so you know. Let me know what piece you want. As you're talking. I'm like, oh, gifting. I'm like at a great gift for Katy.

Unknown: 26:50

I'll be in Westport for a holiday pop up. So you have to

Amy: 26:54

really? Yes. Oh, that's awesome.

Unknown: 26:57

I will be there in November. And I will let you guys know I will

Amy: 27:02

be I'll come up Katie.

Unknown: 27:04

Yeah, please. Yeah. Love to go out of town. Is that my sister's house? Well, it's really easy.

Amy: 27:10

So your sister lives in Westport? Yes. And that's so great.

Unknown: 27:15

Was the has been my biggest biggest supporter. And not only because she loves jewelry, and she gets it all for nothing now. But she was like just so gung ho about the idea. So she was my earliest and Best Supporter

Amy: 27:32

of this so great. Well, definitely let us know about that date, because I will come up and we can meet you in person. But I'm also a little bit scared about going to a pop up because I know I'll buy everything. And Katie knows like if I like something I go crazy. So I will have you're gonna get a lot of orders that day.

Unknown: 27:49

much merchandise with me. I will not I will not run out. I promise.

Amy: 27:52

Okay, good. I will get there awesome.

Unknown: 27:55

When you start to scale and like, you know, everything's pig, and you're not in your closet anymore doing anymore? Do you think you'll miss it? Do you think you'll still like sneak in there sometimes and just make things and do things because you love it? Or do you feel like you're like, Oh, I love it. And also, I mean, I really it's great because my kids get involved, which is so much fun. My son was even helping me I have like, obviously he loves all of my little tools that I have right here. So he was helping me cut pieces and cut wire the other day. And my daughter my middle one comes in here all the time in the morning. Like what am I wearing today? What necklace do I need for this outfit? It's so fun. So yeah, so I'll always be in here working for how big it gets. Yeah,

Amy: 28:42

that's so great. So what have you What have you learned so far? Like what has been easier than you thought and what has been more challenging than you thought?

Unknown: 28:50

Um, what has been easier I think is that people just really, really fall in love with jewelry when they see it. Um, we haven't you know, we have a bunch of in person even though we're big we're ecommerce we have a lot of in person pop ups and, and there's never a time that someone comes over to our table and is like, Man, I don't really like anything, you know, we really that's been great. It's like,

Amy: 29:19

well, that's a testament to your beautiful jewelry and your taste and your designing

Unknown: 29:23

pricing because I'm really designing for myself mostly. And so I'm like, wow, that's feels really good. Um, and what's been most challenging is packaging. Um, we it's really it was such a it was a struggle to figure out what packaging we wanted and where to get it and how to have it printed and but we have we finally figured that out so I no longer run out of really nice boxes and I really love our packaging. So it's and that was something that that was all ally because I was I was like yeah, we'll just send it in a gauze bag and she was like, What are you talking about? out? No, it has to be in a beautiful presentation. And it has to be like this sort of ceremonial opening. And so we have these little drawer boxes. And so she was 100% right about that.

Amy: 30:11

And she's right, because people like me, I took a video and I put it on Instagram reels because I was like, this is such a great experience. I love this up.

Unknown: 30:19

I love hearing that. I love it. Do you have a favorite piece of yours? Maybe Maybe we touched on it. But out of all of your jewelry Do you have like your most loved piece? I think here I'll get it for you. It's right back here. And my favorite piece is the pearl necklace that we did. It's these are freshwater pearls. I don't know if you can see and they're strung on black silk. And wool, which is such a cool and different way. It was like, I've always liked pearls. But I had my pearls from like my sweet 16. And they look a little old fashioned, like your grandma's pearls. But pearls have been in my family forever. And my grandmother wore a pearl choker. And my mom had she handed it down to my mom and then my mom will obviously give it to me or my sister but um, I needed a sort of a modern way of having a pearl choker. And I think this one just kind of nailed it. So this is my

Amy: 31:16

face. So cool. Yeah, I love that because it's

Unknown: 31:19

and the best part is that it can also be a bracelet so that it's a very useful piece. We wear it like this a lot. So yeah. Does it crash? Or is it rigid? And it just era it's like just the perfect things to wrap. Yep, it has an extender on it, which is really helpful. So and it's on silk. So it just, we sort of made it this perfect length to be a choker. And then it can wrap around twice around. Yeah, so it's a really useful it's a very versatile piece, which I love when jewelry can be other things. And I wear it with my T shirt in the summer with like a white t shirt, and then I wore it to you know, a kid's Bar Mitzvah. So it's very cool.

Amy: 32:06

That's a great piece. And when What's your most popular piece, like what it was what's selling the most right now?

Unknown: 32:12

I hear? You're sure our black enamel heart is. I think it's the perfect price point. It's $60. And it looks a great gift. Yeah. looks so much nicer than it costs. I mean, it looks like a it's a beautiful enamel. It's black on both sides. So you don't ever worry about it turning. And I think it's also people buy it as a gift. I mean, people buy like seven at a time. They're like I want every woman in my office to have this piece. Yeah,

Amy: 32:43

it's so fabulous. I love it. And I this and it's so different.

Unknown: 32:47

It's different. Yeah, I think it's different. I think the heart shape turned out great. It's just the perfect little heart. And I think it's a great size for every day. You could wear it alone you can layer it with 20 necklaces like I do. So I think it's a really it's just a good standard piece. So that's definitely our best seller. Yeah, I love that one. I was Meredith and I have someone in common my my realtor is a friend of hers and she had your necklace on while we were looking at houses one day and I caught I said that Beckett and Quill and I love it and she

Amy: 33:19

was she wearing the black heart in a black heart. Yeah, who is your favorite jewelry designer besides you of course.

Unknown: 33:27

Um, I love Sophie view. Hi. Do you guys know Sophie? Bu Hi. Have you heard of that? Um, her mother is actually a friend of mine and lives on our street but look up Sophie view Hi. She has the most gorgeous, very unique jewelry like no one else is doing what she's doing. And I just love that. It's very chunky stuff. That is so just it's so it's so unique. And it's so like if you see it you're like oh, that's a Sophie view Hi bracelet. So she's by far my favorite because she's just so original. There's nobody designing like her.

Amy: 34:09

Very cool. Well definitely check that out. Yes.

Unknown: 34:13

So what is next? I mean, it sounds like you guys are just growing, growing, growing. Um, what is next holidays. That's our I just waiting, I just want to get to December 10 Because that's a cut off to get all of your gifts by Christmas. So if I can make it to December 10 I will be so happy. So yeah. And then we have a bunch of new pieces coming out soon. We have some new rubies coming out. We have little Ruby studs that are coming out soon. And we have a really great necklace our double horn pendant is coming out. So we have some fun new stuff that will be released soon. And then we have some pieces that we're only doing in person that you guys can see if you come to the Westport pop up. Like this is our newest beaded necklace that I think is just so gorgeous.

Amy: 35:09

Oh, wow, that's so pretty. Yeah, it's a great sport pop up. We'll talk about it just in case anybody's in that area on wants to come.

Unknown: 35:16

It is Friday, November 12, I'm going to say and if at all, it'll be all day that it's just going to be like a big open house. It's at my sister's house in Westport. She lives near the beach. And so yeah, so anyone come by anyone

Amy: 35:33

who is in the New York, Connecticut area should definitely go to that.

Unknown: 35:37

Yes,

Amy: 35:38

we there. That's amazing. Okay, so here's the question. And I think we all struggle with this. So how do you balance everything? Like you're starting this new business? It's so exciting. It's growing so quickly. It sounds like you have three kids, you have a cat, you have a husband and family? Like, how do you I mean, it's hard to balance at all, but like,

Unknown: 35:53

it is I'm very organized, I think I run a really tight ship. I you know, I don't let my kids like they don't stay up too late. I have everyone. Um, you know, I sort of have work time when they're at school. And then when they're home, I really I make dinner every night for the kids and for my husband. So I have like, at that time, then I'm just cooking and making dinner. So I think you just have to have really good time management skills when you have kids. And outsource driving. That's what we do. It especially in LA, you hire people to drive your kids around. So we have a babysitter who helps with the driving, which is the most huge. It's the running is like what can really take you down right. And you know, I ran with, like eight appointments, I felt like you know, most of them were for the kids or the dog or something. And then I was just done. It was like Dr. Maha going, going going going? Yes, good, man. That's a little that's a little hack. If you asked me it is. Yeah, this wonderful babysitter who? I mean, I don't I shouldn't call her a babysitter. She doesn't babysit but she is. gets here. She takes Madeline to my oldest who does club soccer in the valley. So anyone who knows that? Yeah, that's a 45 minute drive. So I'm like, that is time. I do not have to.

Amy: 37:19

Yeah, that's like takes your whole day away. That's my whole evening where

Unknown: 37:23

I'm going to be either sitting in my jewelry closet or returning emails or something. So that's a big that is a good hack. Yeah.

Amy: 37:32

Yeah, an organization that's that's huge. I sometimes fall off the organization wagon,

Unknown: 37:38

people find you and we will our website is Beckett and quill.com. And it's Beckett with one T is how my grandma spelt it. So that's how we spelled it. And my our Instagram is at Beckett and Quill and my Instagram is at Meredith Quill American or what am I Meredith l quill I'm not very good. And, and yeah, and for anyone who message I message everybody back if you get in touch with me about jewelry on my Instagram or my email, any questions about jewelry, anything? I am always here, so

Amy: 38:18

that's awesome. Okay, we're gonna get into our rap session. It's kind of like our quick round of questions that we always ask our guests on the show. So what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack? Because you are gorgeous that you've got to hold something.

Unknown: 38:32

Um, I would say I get I use a moisturizer from whole foods that is $11 and it has saved my skin and I have people ask me about it all the time. They're like, You look dewy and I said go to Whole Foods and get will Lita Baby Face Cream. It's for babies. Okay, it's, it has like, completely rejuvenated my skin. It's the only thing I use. And I like I really only like clean products and um, and the price point is right within my wheelhouse.

Amy: 39:10

This litter box Yeah, that's amazing.

Unknown: 39:13

Um, so that's, I think that's my biggest beauty secret maybe?

Amy: 39:18

That's a great one. Yeah. Okay, so this is what we call our five minute flow. So here's the scenario. You just got out of the shower dried off. We were just alerted you there are five minutes away. So what is your quick beauty routine? What do you do to like put your you know, put yourself together like what are your go to Holy Grails to get to the car in time and out that door clearly is the moisturizer.

Unknown: 39:42

My beauty routine is five minutes anyway so this is very easy. I do my Lolita moisturizer. Obviously I live in LA I wear SPF all the time. I reapply all day. I have one in my bag. I have three in my cabinet and I use this L Elta. and D you can also just get it at a pharmacy. It's the tinted moisturizer. It is the best, you can reapply it all day and your your face still looks good. And then what else do I do? I use fresh lip balm. It's just like a little like, I don't know, I think it's a clean little lip balm thing. And, and that's about it. I don't think I do anything else. That's that's my that's my routine.

Amy: 40:24

That's a good routine. Yeah. Very simple. Simple is best.

Unknown: 40:30

Yes. And you know, in Los Angeles, you don't worry about having wet hair when you go outside. I'm like being on the East Coast. You're not gonna freeze. You're never.

Amy: 40:41

So we had a dermatologist on the show Dr. Nazarian a couple episodes ago, and she recommended that Elta MD sunblock, she says it's the best,

Unknown: 40:50

it's the best. And it's I mean, I like smacking on my kids when they leave the house. Also, I'm like, just use it. You know, it's like, it just is I don't know, it's like a miracle SPF. It just does. It never looks white. I use the tinted one because it just perfectly blends in. But and as long as I have that and use that all day with my little fresh lip balm. I'm set.

Amy: 41:12

That's awesome. Yeah. Okay, and how do you maintain your daily nirvana?

Unknown: 41:17

Well, I walk every single day to miles no matter what, wow, nice. I have a great little route, I walk out my door. And then I'm right on a street that's also a bike Street in LA. So the cars are supposed to go a little slower. And it's just the perfect two miles. I walk West for a mile and then I walk back east for a mile. And that's how I maintain everything. I think walking is just for my head. I don't I try not to bring my phone. And I just try and have like a good 30 minutes of me just you know, breathing heavy and I walk really fast. So it's exercise.

Amy: 41:58

That's great. Yeah, that's, that's that's a great one. And I love to walk to and I don't do it often. But I mean, I do it. I did it this morning, but on my treadmill not outside. But every time I go walking, I feel so much better. And I love being outside and walking. So you're inspiring me to do two miles every day I'll think of you.

Unknown: 42:15

Is I swear I think it keeps me sane. Yeah.

Amy: 42:19

Well, it certainly keeps you looking amazing.

Unknown: 42:21

I love that you do the walkthrough and if I do too, that's like I do all no impact either. Your Pilates working. Okay, so I totally get it. Yep, it does its job. Well, the only thing I do know that I'll tell you guys that has been it's so good for my head. It's only in Los Angeles, although she has a whole online thing is like fit le K fit, which is a bounce thing on a trampoline. And I'm terrible at it. But I absolutely love it. So sounds fun. Find her online. Lauren is the best teacher. So yeah. Well, look at that. That sounds so fun. Oh, it's so good. It's so much fun. The best. Nice. That sounds great. Okay, well, um, do you want to stick around for our product review on our mantra AMI, I think was a fun product review for us. Oh, good. Yes.

Amy: 43:05

Yeah. So here's the deal. So you know, when you're on Instagram, and you're scrolling and you're constantly getting targeted ads that are so catered to you. I kept seeing this brand that kept coming up in my feed. And I was like, okay, whatever. And then after seeing it like five or six times and being in marketing, I know that like all of a sudden I was like, oh, maybe maybe I should try that. I really, I could use that. So what it is, is it's called I don't even know how to pronounce it il macchiato. It's a concealer. And they have so much content online and they show these you know girls women putting this concealer on and like brushing it on and being like, oh my god, it's so amazing. And then when you first see it, you're like yeah, right. But then you keep watching you're like oh I kind of want to try it because it's an online company. And if you don't like it, you can return it so I'm like, oh maybe I should try it so of course I felt I fell for it. I do buy it so it's called El Mekki as this concealer is called the fuck I'm flawless but the you they have an asterix so that's how they brand it f asterik. UK but so cute, the multi use perfecting concealer. So it's a long wear lightweight concealer covers under eye circles, blemishes, dark spots, hyperpigmentation. It's vegan, cruelty free, oil free, paraben free. And it's really inclusive because it is available on 30 diverse shades for all skin tones. It's $31 and you only pay $5 When you order it because you have 30 days to make a decision on whether you like it so the cool thing is, is I clicked on the site and you go through this quiz of all these questions your skin type and what type of concealer you prefer lightweight, heavyweight, full coverage, whatever what kind of consistency like those, I don't know five or 10 questions, which was actually made me think about it a little bit and then they match you and the match that I got the number I got was 2.5 Whatever that means, literally matches my skin perfectly. So it was love at first rash. I was so skeptical and I tried it and it's so nice it's very lightweight. The coverage is really nice and it doesn't crease or cake because I always have to put concealer on so talk about five minute flow like that's my I have to put concealer on under my eyes and just for a fresher look. And I find that by the end of the day like I have the nart one of the Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer is which I love is like one of my other holy girls but sometimes it does like crease and get like yucky underneath your eyes. This lasts all day gets so light doesn't crease doesn't go anywhere. And it's so good and it's 31 bucks. So I've literally paid $5 for it but I'll get charged the rest in a couple of days I guess and I kept it and the other cool thing was Oh and they have a subscription which I did not sign up for but if you do the subscription it's $28 The cool thing also was their packaging was really nice which so I was impressed with that and they bring they send you like a nice envelope to send it back in if you don't like it that you can just put in the mailbox which I think makes it so easy. And lastly I got a free liquid eyeliner with it that is also their brand good marketing. And I love it and so it's just like a nice liquid liner that's like really dark and works perfectly. So it's kind of my new obsession. So Ellen Mackay ash, this concealer again is Facom flawless, and I love it. So that's my recommendation of this week. It's a good one. It's a good staple. was looking for good like quick fixes.

Unknown: 46:22

Yes. Talk about targeting but you know it turned out to be ingenious. It sounds great. I'm gonna get it

Amy: 46:28

exactly. I do fall for a lot of Instagram ads. It's a problem but it's okay.

Unknown: 46:33

I detail it's my there. That's the point. Yeah. So let's wrap this fantastic episode with our mantra and again, Meredith thank you so much for being here. This one was so happy to happy that this one I was inspired by your story when I saw this I thought alright, this is perfect because for you your love of jewelry and then how it all played out and now your partnership with our lab and that's just exploding it's We're so happy for you. So the mantra is, what is meant to be will always find its way. I believe that

Amy: 47:12

completely. Great one. I love you so much. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to buy

Episode 29 - How to Mix Face Yoga, Beauty Tools, Botox, and Lasers for a longer lasting Lewk with Shelly Marshall, Founder of BeautyShamans skincare (she's back!) (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 29.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Amy: 0:07

Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Katie: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a former fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started. Welcome back to the show Nirvana Sisters, we are so blessed to have Shelly Marshall aka the beauty shaman or beauty shamans with us today. She is back in season two. If you have listened to season one, she was in Episode 15. And that episode has done so well. She got so many downloads. So we wanted to have her back because I know a lot of the things we talked about. In the first season we had more questions and so we want to round it out and keep the questions going and hear more from from Shelly about all things guasha natural beauty etc. Natural and actually I want to ask you some questions today about injectables and things like that because I know we didn't get to it last time. So for those who didn't hear episode 15 Shelly is the founder of beauty shamans. She is a skin expert on a mission to help people raise the vibration of their skin using non toxic products, tools and rituals. She believes that beauty is rooted in health and mindset and our skin will reflect the things we consume. After years of experience and deep dives into cellular nutrition and aromatherapy, she developed a luxury line of Spa grade products for the skin to eat daily. She also teaches a unique style of facial healing using using a combination of facial massage, reflexology face yoga, and the ancient art of guasha. Her purpose is to help people shine their brightest light through practices of self love, therapeutic touch and healing their skin within. And Shelley's quote that I want to repeat, which I love is my purpose is not to heal you but to teach you how to heal yourself through the lens of skincare and self love, which is so nice. And for those of you that don't follow Shelly on Instagram, she has an incredible feed. It's called at beauty shamans. And I watched it daily, I watch all of your videos, all of your content, it's always changing. It's always new. It's always relaxing for me to watch you you're so beautiful and angelic and just the way you do all of your methods just inspires me every day to take care of myself even more. So thank you for coming back to the show. We're so happy to have you back.

Shelly: 2:41

Thank you so much for having me. I'm really happy to be back if

Amy: 2:45

you guys awesome. So we're gonna start again with our nirvana of the week, which for those of you who are new to the show, it's just something we want to take a step back, think about what brought us joy. I think it's really important as the fall is is is in full effect. And people seem to be busier than ever. It's good to take a step back and think about what was good this week. So I'll turn it to you Katie to tell us what was your Nirvana this week?

Katie: 3:09

Gee, I can't imagine doing now. I moved. Finally, we've only been discussing this move for I don't know how many months Amy's probably so sick of hearing about it. So we finally got and we moved into the house on Monday. And it's so good to be in our home. We've been so transient with the kids. And we've been living like nomads for the last month. And it's just good to be settled. We're getting settled. And I love the house. I love the house more than I would love to it before. You know like when you're in the space you find all the little things. You discover new stuff. So that is for sure it so yeah, yeah, it's like Nirvana of the year. I'm talking about Yeah.

Amy: 3:51

So I was thinking about this this morning, because I have been so stressed this week. I've just had a lot of work, a lot of stuff going on all good, but just really busy and been trying to take step backs and just reground myself. It's been a little hard this week. But last night I went to play golf. So I've been learning over the last year or so, how to play golf. I have done it over the years, but never have been consistent. Nor have I had time, but over quarantine and being home more. I've had a bit more time to take lessons and really work on it. Because I used to hate it. And now I'm turning into really liking it because I can actually hit the ball. So I'm thinking eventually I'll be able to play with my husband and kids and it'll be a nice activity for us but had a lesson last night and I hadn't gone in a couple of weeks and I did really well. So I was just really proud of myself because I hit the ball. Well I putted well, and I was like, Okay, I'm getting there, and I was feeling really good. So I came home kind of on a little Nirvana high. So that was mine of the week. What about you, Shelly?

Shelly: 4:47

Gee, I have a couple but I'll just, I'll touch on one. I had known about this subscription called gaia.com, which I'm sure a lot of people who are listening to this also You know, subscribe to gaia.com. But and it was recommended to me a few years ago. And I finally signed up for the subscription. And it, I've been feeling a lot, very low energy recently and just kind of stuck. And we also moved to new apartment, so you know, lots of new energy going on. And I started watching some of the documentaries and listening to some of the episodes on gaia.com. And it's just been so energizing, because a lot of it is based on spiritual practices, alternative healing techniques, alternative medicine, herbs, and you know, just the supernatural and metaphysical stuff and all this stuff that brings me joy and all the stuff that raises my vibration. So I've been feeling that, you know, being stuck in Instagram and emails, and really the news, my energy level was just totally tanking. And getting the subscription and watching a little bit of it each day has really raised my vibration and like, I just feel, I just feel so much lighter and so much more peaceful. It's like the Netflix of spiritual growth

Amy: 6:07

I heard of it is ga,

Shelly: 6:12

ga i a.com. Yeah, and it and it's like, it's it's set up, basically very similar to like Netflix or something. And you just go in, and you, you know, I want to watch this documentary, I want to watch this series, I want to do this yoga practice, I want to do this meditation, or you know, whatever. And it just, it has something for you, whatever, you're in the mood for that day, but it's always very uplifting, very eye opening, and it just gets my energy moving in the right direction of where I want to be in place. Great. That's

Amy: 6:41

good to know. I gotta try that. Because I think I've been feeling that way too. And you just described it. Well, kind of that low energy kind of stuck in a rut. And so yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I love that. Great. Well, getting into all the things. So one of the things I wanted to ask you about last time you were on the show, I bought it from you afterwards, because I really wanted to try it was this new face? Tool? Can you tell our listeners? Ah, there you go.

Shelly: 7:08

Yeah, what it does, I've

Amy: 7:10

used it I've, it's funny, I got it, and I started using it. But then I don't know, I kind of get out of the routine. So I need to get back in today. But can you tell us what it is and like how to use it and when the best time is to use it?

Shelly: 7:21

Sure. So um, so the new face. And there's a bunch of different kinds of, of microcurrent devices. But this is just the one I use because it's FDA approved. And because it's a professional strength device. But basically what microcurrent is, is it's a low level, energetic current that mimics the ionic currents in our own body, because you know, we are electrical beings. And so it kind of it kind of connects or stimulates that electrical current, which then activates and energizes cells to tone the muscles. So essentially, what microcurrent is doing is it's toning and strengthening the muscles. In this case of the face, they do have, you know, there are microcurrent for the body as well. But the face is so unique and that the muscles are directly connected to the skin. So you use a microcurrent device for lifting the face for improving the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. It can also it's also been FDA approved for I believe it's been FDA approved for increasing the proteins in the skin, collagen and elastin. So it's just a really great at home device that you can use. And this one that I sell is a professional device. So it's it's the strongest of this series. And if you use it consistently and when I say consistently that can be whatever it means to you. Some people use it every day. Some people use it three times a week, I shoot for two or three times a week just to maintain and it basically you don't feel anything at all but what it's basically doing is it's energizing the muscles, thus the muscle cells to then strengthen those muscles. And when the muscles are strengthened and they're lifted, your skin will also follow

Amy: 9:12

and how do you when is the best time to Yeah,

Shelly: 9:15

so, so electric microcurrent you don't feel it but it does need a water soluble medium on the skin in order to conduct that electricity so if there's any oil on the skin, the electrical currents won't work. So the device comes with a kit that's that is a water soluble gel. But sometimes if people just have access to ultrasound gel or simply just water that that you continue to spray on the skin you need water on the skin in order to activate the electrical currents. And then the idea is to go in the direction that the muscles are so you know you have the the zygomatic major up on the cheek area you have the zygomatic major minor also on the cheek but connecting more to the muscle around the eye. You have the resource muscle that kind of comes out to the side that helps us to smile, you have so many muscles in the face that they connect here in the mouth area or the nasal labial fold area, and then kind of connect back on the hairline near your ear. So the idea is to use it in a way that trains the muscles upward. And there is a five second timer in this. And the idea is to move this device slowly because you're activating and stimulating that cellular activity. So you know, it'll go beep, and then you just move it along.

Amy: 10:37

And it seems like the in between the beeps, it's so slow. And I'm like, Am I doing it too slow, it feels so

Shelly: 10:41

odd to do it slow. And sometimes you'll it's even recommended that once you get up to where the muscles attach that you hold it for another five seconds, ah, so you can do you know, five seconds, all the way up the cheek and then hold it for five seconds, it is a slow process, I typically pair this with a deep breathing exercise because there's no getting around the fact that you have to move slowly when using this. So you may as well just slow down everything. And just you know, really oxygenate your lungs, which oxygenates your skin and just make it a somewhat meditative practice at the same time. So there are a lot of different pathways to use this. And you can actually go to the company website or the company Instagram and they do great tutorials. That's all they do all the time is tutorials on how to use this, but the general idea is moving from the center of the face to the outside and upward just to lift and tone the muscles.

Amy: 11:41

Yeah, I was gonna say do you is it better to do it Morning or night? That

Shelly: 11:45

really depends. I don't really think it matters. Okay, I don't think I think it matters more of when is it going to be most useful to you in terms of when you can slow down and relax. So if the mornings are more relaxing for you, then do it in the morning, if it's if it's better to do it in the evening, when you have more time than maybe the evenings. Sometimes what I'll do is in the morning, I'll have like an extra 20 minutes. So what I'll do is after I get out of the shower, I'll apply the gel, I'll use the new face for about, you know, five to eight minutes, wipe off the gel put on all the rest of my skincare products, give myself a nice little massage. And then that's like, you know, that's like a 15 minute thing right there. 1520 minutes, and then I just I feel great. And then I'm like, Okay, I did it for today like tonight, I'm going to work on something else.

Amy: 12:35

Can you use something else? I know you were talking about the gel. Like I've tried it with a serum before, but I don't know if it works just because I don't like the way that that gel feels because then it feels sticky. And I guess I yeah, maybe didn't wipe it off as good. I just would rather use like a thinner kind of, but I don't know,

Shelly: 12:52

you can you just have to be careful that there's not too much of an oil content in the serum. And that's why I use the gel or I just use ultrasound gel because I really because you can't feel it. So the little sparks a little bit. Okay, if you're feeling the sparks, that means you don't have enough jell O, or you don't have enough of the product on

Amy: 13:15

them, then it was working.

Shelly: 13:17

Well, that's how you can feel that it's working. But you want to be careful because it's electricity or electrical currents, it could cause a skin irritation or burn. So if you're feeling that sparking, you want to apply a little bit more gel. And then I agree with you. I don't like the feeling of jello on my face. But I do a really good job of taking like a hot washcloth afterwards and wiping all of it off using a toner getting all of it off completely. I don't like leaving any gel on my face. Yeah. The other way that you can sometimes tell that it's working is it will sometimes in some people stimulate this tastes of metal in their mouth. I don't know if you've experienced that. But if you experience tasting metal in your mouth while you're using it, then you definitely know that it's working.

Katie: 14:04

So is that an okay thing to pay some metal? That's fine. That doesn't mean perfectly. Okay, good.

Shelly: 14:10

Okay, doesn't mean you're overdoing it.

Katie: 14:12

Alright, that's interesting. I think I had a facial at a spa. I don't like how many years ago? And they did they use some kind of tool like that. And it was like little apps, apps, apps apps. It just felt like an electrical current was kind of going through my body. Yeah. Which I guess this is now the home version of that, which is this was I mean, before I moved out of the city, so it's a long time ago. Yeah,

Shelly: 14:31

yeah, this is the ad home version. So it's, you know, safe to use the only contra indications to using a microcurrent pregnancy because of the you know, has like a frequency to it. Epilepsy again, because of the frequency and active cancers in the area. So like if you have thyroid cancer or some sort of mouth or throat cancer, and a pacemaker because again, it is electrical current so you don't want to interfere with that.

Katie: 14:59

I will Make sure my father does not use new face.

Shelly: 15:04

You can't use any microcurrent devices.

Amy: 15:06

That was super helpful. Thank you for going through that, because I'm sure other people have those questions too, when they're novices like me. Okay, now I want to talk to you about like fun, other non natural things like fillers and laser, because we have dermatologists on the show earlier this season. And we were talking to her a little bit about that stuff. But I know the last time you mentioned or I've seen you mentioned on your Instagram that you'll integrate, like people will do, you know, glass shop, but they'll also do sometimes Botox and fillers, and how do you kind of balance it? And what is your recommendation on you know, as you're aging, and kind of like, you know, you don't want to do too much you, you still want to look natural, but what's your sort of recommendation on how you integrate both?

Shelly: 15:50

If somebody wants to integrate both, I obviously always leave it up to my clients, I educate them on the pros and cons of all options before before I may even make any suggestions. So first, you know, someone has to be open to the idea of these advanced procedures like like Botox or fillers or even you know, lasers, which are pretty non invasive. But you know, it all depends on their concern. It depends on their budget, it depends on what their goals are, it depends on what they're willing to sacrifice, it depends on a lot of different things. So for someone who, you know, say comes in and, and they straight UPS said, Tell me I don't want Botox or fillers I but I have these concerns. Well, then I'm going to focus on teaching them home care, and stuff like that, you know, going over treatment plans and whatnot. If someone comes in and they say, I these lines on my forehead are just bothering me, I can't like i It's all I see in the mirror, I can't stand them, please just get rid of them. What can we do? I educate them obviously, on what the pros and cons are of something like Botox to which paralyzes the muscle, which then paralyzes the skin from wrinkling. And there are pros and cons. But then, you know, they're they're like, Well, how, you know, does this mean that I have to, you know, keep coming is there anything I can do to prolong? So what I've found is that when people come in for say like Botox on the on the eye, between the eyebrows, and on the forehead, we'll just take that, for example. The Botox is paralyzing the muscle, so then the skin is no longer creasing, it's no longer wrinkling. At the same time, there's not a lot of blood flow going through that muscle anymore, because we've stopped all activity. So what I usually tell them to do is maybe about an hour, you know, Botox will last anywhere from three and a half to five months. So I tell them at about, you know, a month, so three to four weeks after their treatment, they need to start incorporating these at home practices, massage, reflexology, guasha. And really, you know, mind to muscle like imagining what they are doing, you know, is what's having the effect on the area. And you know, at the same time the because of the Botox, the wrinkle has completely flattened out, right. So they're, they're happy they see it. But you know, the more that they can train their muscles with either face yoga, or with guasha or you know, ironing out like the connective tissue now that it's in that relaxed state, the more they can massage the muscle now that it's in the relaxed state, they may be able to prolong. And so when they start to see the movement come back, they can go to those techniques and do them. And it can help to prolong their need to do more. And they can maybe get to the point where instead of coming in four or five times a year, they're only coming in one or two times a year. It's because they're doing these at home practices and these add home techniques that are enhancing their results. And then they're going to be happier, obviously, because they're paying less they're doing less intervention, and they're taking more control into their own hands of how to care for themselves.

Amy: 19:04

Right and can you do the guasha sooner than a month like if you're used to doing guasha like I've been doing it more and I love it I just find it relaxing as well as you know lifting and all of that. I never know like because I just got botox I don't know two weeks ago like right around my forehead and right here and I'm like afraid to do that. I'm like, can you? Is it bad? She is a guasha right after you get Botox you have to wait a certain amount of time.

Shelly: 19:30

Yes, you do have to wait a certain amount of time as the product takes generally seven to 10 days. I would say in general just to keep it simple two weeks to kick in as you're as you're noticing. Two weeks is usually the peak effect. And then after that, you can go back to your guasha you can use the new face You Can you know go get a massage, you can get a facial, I say rule of thumb I tell people no massage or you know getting facials or treatments for two to three weeks just to be safe. because if you do, let's say you do go get a massage and put your face in a head crate or something. at day two or three, when the Botox hasn't fully kicked in, well, it may be possible that that that injection point, the medication in that injection point is going to spread to other muscles that you may not want to relax. So, you know, and you know, when the muscles relax on the forehead, they are pushing it down. And so you don't want to come out with this sort of like sad truth the way she is. Right? Yeah, yeah. So I always tell I always tell my clients the story, just to really hone in on you need to be careful. The there was a an instructor that I had, who told us the story that, you know, he he had this patient that came in, she was irregular, she came in for her Botox injections all the time. And one time she came back two weeks later, and she was completely, her eyes were almost closed, like completely droopy. And they were trying to figure out what happened. Because, you know, she had been so many times before they did the same treatment plan, Nothing like this had ever happened before. And the receptionist said, Yeah, but when you came in, weren't you wearing a bike helmet. And she said, put the bike helmet on for like, you know, 20 minutes to ride home. But that was enough time to spread the product to other muscles, which then settled into the muscles, and then cause that paralysis, which caused the droopiness in her eyes for five months,

Amy: 21:26

though, that's all my easy. That's so So I tell

Shelly: 21:29

that story to my clients so that they remember it. And you guys have to be really careful there. Yeah, I'll never forget that, ooh, you just have to be a little careful with that. But after two or three weeks, you can go back to doing guasha and facial massage, some people will say that it it wears the product off because you're increasing the metabolism. And that's definitely true. But I just I think that it's such a, it's such a great way to address your concerns is to is to blend you know, sort of the the Western medical approach to it with the sort of self care practices, because it just it flattens out the muscles when you really iron out the the connective tissue and really work on the muscles and bring circulation. And I just have seen the change in myself, I am at the point now where I no longer do Botox for my forehead. I did it for years and years. And I got to I use that practice that I just explained where in between my sessions I would do you know, things like the guasha. And I would you know, work it out with different tools and different techniques. And I'm at the point now where I basically trained my face to not move in that way. And I've trained and sort of broken up and loosened up enough of the muscle tissue and the connective tissue and energized it that when it does crease, I know how to flatten it right back out.

Amy: 22:53

Yeah, you have. And that's the same rule applies like the two to three weeks, I just saw you had your storyteller tool, which I use all the time. Same thing there. You don't want to use that for a couple of weeks, I would imagine to Yeah,

Shelly: 23:04

same thing, nothing on the forehead for like two or three weeks. Now if you have filler, like in the middle of the face or something same you can do? Well, sorry, let me back up. If you have, let's say you have like Botox up on the forehead, you can still do your squash on the bottom half of the face. Okay. But if you have, but if you start to put fillers in, same thing, the fillers can still be somewhat movable for the first two weeks. So you don't want to do any sort of manipulation on the face whatsoever. I just tell people rule of thumb, anytime you get any kind of injection, wait two to three weeks before you do anything.

Amy: 23:40

Okay, what's your thoughts around filler?

Shelly: 23:43

I think it's appropriate in some cases. And and I've done it in the past, I haven't done it in years now. Because you know, I just have figured out other ways to to lift my face. Naturally, cause your a shaman, which is you know, and I studied, I studied it to figure out how to do that. But I think that for some people, again, who are just I need that quick fix, I feel awful, I see myself like on Zoom, I, you know, I don't like the way it's looking what, you know, I, you know, I want to have the discipline, but I don't, I just need that extra lift to get me started. And for some people, that's all it is, is just giving them an extra little lift or a little fill an area to fill the void of where the collagen and the fat has been broken down. And then it it can then well, at least I tried to coach them or teach them to start using some of these practices that will just enhance those results. But I don't think it's a bad thing. I think, you know, everybody's individual and everybody, you know, has different goals and concerns and I'm not against it. I'm not,

Amy: 24:51

you know, I really appreciate that because I think that you're very unique in the sense that you have all you do all of the The guasha and the eastern type is called Eastern. I don't know if that's the right.

Shelly: 25:06

Yeah, just like its natural modality, yeah, the natural

Amy: 25:10

techniques, but then you also do the injectables. And that combination is really unique. Because a lot of times I've asked just to kind of see, I had asked my well, not dermatologist, she's, she's more of a surgeon who does my Botox. I asked one of the nurses there, or maybe her like, Oh, can I do wash after this? And they were like, Yeah, I think it's fine. Like they don't, they're not very educated on it. So the fact that you know, both is really important, because I think this, this meeting of both is like the best of both worlds and to be able to keep it going versus always getting something put in your face. So

Shelly: 25:43

I think the most important thing is how getting these injections, or using these natural modalities make someone feel, because if you look in the mirror, and you are happy with what you see, the chemicals released, when you feel that you love yourself, when you look in the mirror, those chemicals released in your body are so much more powerful, and stronger and more impactful than any neurotoxin, any sort of injectable filler you will ever put in your body. So for me, it's about finding out and helping people figure out what is going to make them feel their absolute best. Because self love and self discovery and just feeling good about yourself is just there's nothing that matches that.

Amy: 26:36

I just think that that's medicine. Yeah, I

Shelly: 26:39

just think I just think that whatever is going to make you feel your most beautiful, is going to make you feel your best. And then you're going to show up and perform everyday better for yourself and for others, you know, and really what we're what what am I really trying to do here, I'm trying to raise the vibration of the whole collective by starting with the individual. And so if we as individuals can feel good about ourselves, then we're doing our part. And you know, it starts with you know, I mean, beauty is very powerful. And it's a part of our everyday lives whether whether you like it or not. Beauty is an you know, health they go hand in hand, but it's a very powerful tool in connecting and and being a part of this world.

Katie: 27:23

Yeah, well, sad and connecting with yourself to write and just staying. Yeah, yeah. So it, it speaks greatly to who you are as a businesswoman because you're telling people how to see you less so that they can self care for themselves. You're teaching them tools to do at home so that they can do these injectables for your environment between so I'm sure your patients really appreciate that too. So I wanted to touch a little bit about I want to go back to fillers and lasers because I am totally green to it. I've done Botox, and I've had some Botox experiences better than others, I have hopped around who I see and I think that's important too. You have to find somebody that knows how to do exactly what you want. But fillers when when is it an appropriate time to use them? And where do you find most people want to use them?

Shelly: 28:13

Most people want to use them for their undereyes

Katie: 28:17

okay, that into a hollowness or to pump up the cheekbones, the same thing.

Shelly: 28:23

So what happens it Well, I would say the two areas that people think that they need the filler is the under eyes and the nasal labial folds, okay, but to get an area that is right, the area that I filled the most is right here in the mid mid face like the mid cheek area. And you know, I mean my instructors and teachers have told me in the past like always treat what they want like you know give them exactly you know, if they come in for nasal labial folds, even though you see the rest of their skin falling, you treat the nasal labial fold, but what I do but what I try to do instead is I talk to them and I show them okay, you're you know you want your under eyes filled you have this like darkness here at the same time. The reason why that's happening is because the cheeks are falling and that's also causing this nasal labial fold to be more prominent. So what's actually happening is you've lost volume and you've lost the elasticity and your skin is starting to fall here where it used to be the skin the muscle the collagen used to be up here on this cheekbone, but now it's fallen and that's where you see the void but where you really need filling is in the most natural looking place which is where you naturally had it before. Okay, naturally had it in the cheek

Amy: 29:42

so I that's literally eye opening because I have gotten filler under my eyes for that exact reason because they're hollow. They're dark and like every time I look in the mirror, I can't stand it. Katie knows I was complained about it. I did fill her once and I actually didn't like it because I thought it made my undereyes look worse it almost like pushed out like the fat pads underneath like it made in like, almost more exaggerated and I didn't want it. And I felt like I could see it. And then it's funny because I asked my doctor about that. And she's like, Yeah, I wouldn't do it there. She said, I would do it in a few other like little places like in the cheeks just because then that will give the overall appearance. And but she didn't explain it the way that you explained it. She just kind of recommended what she would do, which I haven't done. But that's actually a really interesting way to think about it. And I never thought about that. I'm going to I might have to try that. Yeah, I

Shelly: 30:31

mean, like some people, I will feel their undereyes because let's like their cheeks are nice and full. And then they have that fallenness. And it's like, okay, well, that's actually where you need it. But I would say maybe eight times out of 10, it's because they've lost volume in the cheek. And that's really where they need the filling. Because it's going to it's going to like push it up, it's going to push it up a little bit. And what's going to happen is it's going to make this under eye area look less like drab,

Amy: 30:59

I guess we're like less

Shelly: 31:00

droopy. And then at the same time, you know, pushing a little bit of the skin up here is going to have an indirect lift on the nasal labial fold. So it just gives, to me a much more natural looking appearance. And people are usually a lot happier when I do that. Versus like what you said just filling the under eyes because then they always come back. But it's still

Amy: 31:22

right, because it looks nice. Yeah, kind of like we're supposed

Shelly: 31:27

to have a little bit of a depression there. And we're and we're also supposed to have a little bit of a nasal nasal labial fold, like, right, you know, if you're thinking about getting fillers, for those reasons, just remember, you should still have a little bit of it there. Otherwise, you're gonna start, in my opinion looking older

Katie: 31:46

in exams, and so often right people overdo it, and then they people over stretch, and

Shelly: 31:51

then and then they end up looking older. To me. It looks like they're scared person trying to look young. Yeah. And it's, that's really not the point. You're really just trying to look great and rested for

Katie: 32:02

so then. So I know nothing of lasers. I don't Amy, do you do lasers? I

Amy: 32:07

know. But I want to know, I want to learn about Yeah, what it is because I always hear people doing them. And I'm like, What does that even mean? And what does it do?

Katie: 32:13

When do we do it?

Shelly: 32:14

There are different, there are different kinds of lasers. I've used a couple I haven't used anything like a real Fraxel or anything like that. But I do know the science behind it and what it's doing. There are other things that are more way more, you know, invasive like co2 resurfacing, which I don't I you know, I don't have really any experience with that. But the majority of lasers that you see at these med spas, that you go in, and they say yeah, there's like maybe one to three days downtime, or there's no downtime, what those lasers are doing, and the technology has really advanced a lot in the last 20 years. For the most part, a lot of these lasers that are used for collagen rejuvenation, are bypassing the top layer of the skin, and they're heating up or making little micro injuries to the collagen layer. And collagen once it has been stimulated, or once it has been damaged, naturally, will grow back stronger, thicker, newer, and it basically produces new collagen cells. So that's what most lasers, you know, that you would go to a med spa for are doing is they're just basically using heat and using the laser technology to make those micro injuries so that it's so that the collagen can can kind of come back a little bit more, with a little bit more vibrancy with a little bit more cushion. And that helps to fill the fine lines and wrinkles. It can help to detoxify the skin. So you have less redness, it helps to you know, kind of constrict all the blood vessels away from the skin. There are also some lasers that are used for pigmentation. And those kinds of lasers do not work so much on the collagen layer, but more on the top layer of the skin. Now you'll feel those ones more. And they'll hurt more, because you have more of your nerve endings on the top layer of the skin. And so what those are doing is it's attracting or the laser is attracted to the pigment and the damaged pigment. And that brings it up to the surface which then sloughs off after about a week or two. So ah, so probably, yeah, yeah. Okay, and it's different from melasma melasma. You can think of I don't remember if I explained this to you guys in the last episode, but in order to tell the difference between melasma and sun damage, if your pigmentation looks like a continent, it's melasma. And that means it's internal and it's deep, and you should not use laser on it. If your pigmentation looks like little islands, not a continent, but little islands, most likely that sun induced it's on the surface of your skin. It's damaged melanocytes and that can be treated with laser with peels and with you know, internal nutrition sunscreen, and it's

Katie: 34:54

a great way to break it down. I know like melasma I had that with my first pregnancy and a lot of women get one they're pregnant, but then it goes away. But age spots. Yeah, I mean, they're pretty common. And I see them and I have girlfriends that are my age that have them and then you know, my mom has them, it can happen at any time. So a laser is a go to to get rid of the age spot.

Shelly: 35:14

It can be if you have a certain skin type. Also there. There's also that caveat as well is that the lasers for pigment work best on light skin, if you have olive skin or any skin color darker than mine, it's not recommended because the laser is looking for pigment. So if you're you know of, you know, African descent, Indian, Hispanic, you know, dark Asian, you have pigment, and it could actually cause a burn. Okay, because that yeah, so so like you too, would be fine, because you have fair skin. So the laser is not going to, it's going to hone in on the pigmentation and it's not even going to see the rest of your, you know, the rest of your skin cells for someone who's darker that the laser will see all of it and it's going to try to pull all of it up, and that can cause a burn. Wow.

Amy: 36:05

So let me ask you a question. I have done micro needling and PRP is microneedling a laser.

Shelly: 36:11

No. So okay, lasers, lasers mimic what microneedling does on a very low scale. So micro needling is otherwise known as collagen induction therapy. And what it's doing is much like how the lasers bypass the top layer of skin and treat that collagen layer that that layer underneath the skin where collagen and elastin and blood vessels are. The microneedling is using physical, sterile needles to go through the top layer of skin and target that collagen elastin and blood vessel layer to make that make a physical injury. So that the collagen can grow back the benefit of doing microneedling is that because the the needles are going directly through the top layer of skin, you can infuse certain ingredients because you've made microchannels in the skin. So you can infuse vitamin C hyaluronic acid PRP, which is platelet rich plasma which helps the skin to heal faster. And it also helps to stimulate cell renewal, which happens on the top layer happens happens more on the top layer of the skin. That's where we see, you know, the sloughing of dead skin. So micro needling is like laser on steroids. So it's almost better. Okay, I didn't realize that I tell people when they come in, you know, with the with the laser that we have, I tell them if you want to do you know slow and you know, study and just have a maintenance routine, we're going to do laser. If you need a one and done, you know, 123 treatments to treat X concern. We're going to do a bootcamp of three microneedling spaced about four to six weeks apart. And then you can you can go to lasers to maintain

Katie: 38:02

it was a painful, it's funny.

Amy: 38:03

I well, I did it. And I can tell you, I It wasn't painful for me. I mean, because they put numbing, they put numbing? Yeah, so I felt it a little bit. But it was not bad at all was kind of relaxing, just because I was laying there not doing anything. So I was like oh,

Shelly: 38:18

so I've done it with and without I've done it without numbing. And let me tell you, it is

Amy: 38:24

very painful. I can't imagine without an Amen. So so the

Shelly: 38:28

way that they actually discovered how microneedling works is through tattoo artists. And they were noticing that, you know, these tattoo, people were getting tattooed the skin that was being micro that was being injected with ink. That skin and the directly surrounding that skin was healing better and faster, and the skin looked more plump. And it looked you know more beautiful. And so that's how they kind of discovered it was that interested view. If you stimulate this collagen layer, it's going to produce more collagen. So I mean, that's so it's basically when you do it without numbing cream, you're basically tattooing your entire face without

Amy: 39:11

ever doing. So let me ask you a question because I did it a couple years ago and I did three sessions exactly like what you said it made like a huge difference like my business so much more like plump, younger, like just rush. And then they basically said you could do it once a year just to kind of keep it going maintain. Yeah, but I did it another time. I guess more recently, and I didn't really see that big it was okay, but I didn't see that big of a difference like I did the first time. So is it worth continuing to do that? Or should you do one of these different lasers is like upkeep or should you do it again? Like what's the, um,

Shelly: 39:45

I usually tell people you know, to do their boot camp first, you know, like 123 or you know, some people that have really deep acne scars and so they're going to do four to six days four to six weeks apart. And then after that I say you know as maintenance We can do it, you know, every, every turn of the season. So three to four times a year, you just come in, we'll do your microneedling. And then you can do lasers to maintain. And then after a couple years, like if you really need to go through that boot camp again, I would say, you know, depending on your age, depending on your particulars, maybe every three to four years, you do that boot camp again. Because usually it'll do

Amy: 40:24

it you're saying, like three to four times a year after the boot camp?

Shelly: 40:29

Yeah, I think so.

Amy: 40:30

I haven't seen those

Shelly: 40:32

I usually recommend Yeah, I usually recommend to do that. Again, I will say that the very first time you do it is when you're going to see the most dramatic results. And then after that, it's it's never going to be the same dramatic effects. Right.

Katie: 40:46

So I want to touch on what you just said, for people that have acne scars. So bad acne scarring, like does is that what that's good for that will help relieve that for people?

Shelly: 40:57

Yes. So in my opinion, microneedling is one of the best treatments for acne scars. And really, I think micro needling is probably best suited for people with acne scars, more so then people with pigmentation issues, wrinkles, and called general you know, collagen rejuvenation, micro needling is going to help but the people who are going to see the most difference, in my opinion, are those with acne scars. Because what it's doing is it's remodeling, that collagen layer, and it's breaking down some of the scar tissue as well. So I've seen dramatic changes and transformations and people who have, you know, done the micro needling for acne scars. Now, if they have active acne, that's a little bit more difficult, because you really shouldn't be, you know, puncturing into, you know, active blemishes. But as long as you don't have too many breakouts, it can really be transformational for like the texture of your skin. I mean, I had a lot of acne scars. I mean, so many. And I mean, I have photos that I can send to you guys like the transformation that I went through doing micro needling and that's really my opinion, the only thing that really like helped, but I got rid of it. That's

Amy: 42:13

because micro needling help with sunspots, like you were talking about before.

Shelly: 42:18

In not directly it will help to stimulate you know, the new collagen and stimulate new skin cells, which kind of helps to slough off some of the some of the old damage pigment cells, it really helps to, like I said, make those micro channels in the skin so you can get actives in the skin, which can help with lifting off some of that pigment. So you can like, you know, put on like a vitamin C, which is going to help to brighten the skin, you can put on you know, like a hyaluronic acid which is going to hydrate the deeper layers of the skin, which helps with overall healing of the skin. So I wouldn't say like if someone came to me and said I have pigmentation, do you think I should do micro needling, it wouldn't be the first thing that I would that I would recommend for them but it might be an added benefit it

Amy: 43:03

might bonus for them. Maybe one of the other lasers would be better for that.

Shelly: 43:07

One of the other lasers and and honestly, I think chemical peels because then they need to be somewhat light chemical peels, I find that with pigmentation. You always want to treat slow and low because any sort of trauma, any sort of excessive heat or invasive procedure is actually going to trigger more pigmentation. So I always tell people go slow and low we'll start with peels just to kind of lift some of that pigment up. And then you know, maybe we'll you know do some lasers later on. But we'll still keep it very light.

Katie: 43:39

I think the the chemical peels what you're just saying about going slow and low is so important because there's always like the horror story of somebody that does one and they're so shockingly red. I when I was modeling in my early 20s. I went to photographers loft one time and he opened the door and he looked like a burn victim is Oh Honey, don't worry. I just had a chemical peel. It'd be right. You know? It's hilarious. I had to look at that.

Amy: 44:03

You're like but I still remember it and I'm not doing it.

Katie: 44:07

I will never do a chemical peel because you just have the right person do it right and then guide you in the right direction.

Shelly: 44:14

Yeah, exactly. Okay,

Amy: 44:16

so funny. Yeah, no, Shelly, what are your clients asking about now? Like what's on the radar? What's kind of, what are you seeing? Go um,

Shelly: 44:25

you know, a lot of people are seeing themselves on Zoom. And they're really unhappy with like, you know, the nasal labial fold the under eye area but a lot of people the double chin. A lot of people are really like I see this like huge bulge on go. Yeah, yeah, it is. And so a lot of people ask, What can I do for that I have so many people that come in what can I do for you know, for a double chin? And they asked about Kybella and they asked about you know CoolSculpting which I wouldn't recommend now it's Some of the stories that have come out, but you know, liposuction, I mean, I think that this area right here underneath the chin doesn't get enough love, because we're constantly looking down. And we're constantly on our phones, we're constantly on the computer, we're not exercising the muscle. So there's no circulation, there's no lymphatic flow, all the fat is accumulating there, it's not getting any exercise. And so I always show people, you know, I give them homework at the end of their service, and I say, Okay, you're going to start doing this every single day. So that, you know, you can start exercising this muscle, you're going to start doing some guasha underneath the neck to sort of move some of the toxins that are, you know, stuck in the fat there and, and also just stuck under the skin. And you're gonna start to see the difference, you know, after a couple weeks of doing this,

Amy: 45:54

and that you do a lot of these videos on your feet like this face yoga. Yeah.

Shelly: 45:59

Mm hmm. What are the easiest ones, and I'll show you guys one. And I can walk listeners through this is literally just to tilt your head back, like your chin is all the way up. And then you can you can either just kiss the ceiling or kiss, you know, kind of make a motion like you're kissing the moon almost. Or just stick your tongue to your upper lip. And you can feel that muscle. Yeah, you can feel it stretch. Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, feel the muscle underneath your chin activate. Right away, do it right away. And if you just do you know, a couple sets of that couple times a day, so you can really make it's so easy. It's so easy. But we don't do it enough. Because our heads are down. All right, constantly

Amy: 46:44

down. Yeah.

Katie: 46:45

It seems like that's a crime. I love that. It's got to be a prime guasha tool spot to I would imagine, right? Like getting in there with that. I feel like it would help. Yeah, it is yeah,

Shelly: 46:55

definitely you want to you know, kind of you can break it up a little bit, but then always kind of come to the side. Because you always want to come out to those lymph nodes on the

Katie: 47:04

around the year not necessarily down.

Shelly: 47:07

Not necessarily down, you can do that to sort of just massage it and get things moving. But the way that you want to drain it is from the center under the chin to underneath the jawline to the ear, and then down to the collarbone because that's the pathway where it can be your get eliminated.

Katie: 47:24

Yeah. All right, the old double Chen. Well, I just wanted to mention really quickly, I've been looking at your website, it's so beautiful. And you look like Do you have some new exciting products at some skincare stuff? What's this, um, maybe the mermaid I didn't notice it before it what

Shelly: 47:41

I was, Oh, my pet I've had that we are we are sort of about to revamp some of our packaging, upsize some of our packaging so people can get more out of the products, make them a little more convenient for people. And we are also going to be adding a couple new things here in there. On the line. I have some stuff in the works.

Amy: 48:03

Yeah. Well, you did an Instagram poll the other day where you asked people what they wanted. So I was wondering as a coach, probably something in the works.

Shelly: 48:10

Yeah, yeah. And we also have, you know, a couple, like a new tool coming out for the holidays, which is it's, I have a very limited supply. So that will be something around the holidays that people can grab. And I also have a very special project that I'm working on as well on the side that I that can reach more of international or global audience. And you know, people can take what I do in the treatment room and use it in the comfort of their own home, as well.

Katie: 48:41

So congratulations. Oh my gosh, exciting.

Amy: 48:45

Congrats. We're such big fans.

Katie: 48:47

We really are. The other thing that I love on your site is your section about the things that you love, too. There's some great products in there. So yeah, I highly recommend that you're finding that. Yeah, it's so good. It's so good.

Amy: 49:00

And I also love which I know you've had for a while but I bought it after we first talked was the seaweed cleanser. And it's it is my favorite thing. It's like is there like peppermint or something in there? Like

Shelly: 49:11

some there's peppermint Yeah. And it was funny because

Amy: 49:15

I was away with a girlfriend of mine. And I was like, try this. And she's like, Oh, I love this. And I was like, Yeah, I think there's peppermint or something in it.

Shelly: 49:21

Yeah, it's the peppermint but also, you know, we make and formulate our products with pure seaweed or I'm sorry with pure seaweed, but also salt water, sea water, seawater, okay. And that is sort of the special ingredient in pretty much all products. The water based products, at least is the seawater, because the ocean has so many minerals. And what happens is those sort of ions, you know, from the from the different minerals and trace elements, they're, they're electrically charged and they're, you know, biologically are they they are with your own skin because you know that the the minerals in the seaweed are very compatible with your own blood plasma. So what you're feeling is a little bit of that peppermint, but you're also probably feeling sort of the magic from the ocean on your skin.

Katie: 50:12

That's very well, yes,

Amy: 50:14

I love it. Okay, so we did this last time, we're going to do it again, because you might have new answers. What is your favorite wellness or beauty hack lately?

Shelly: 50:22

Face yoga?

Katie: 50:24

Hmm, yep. Yeah. So I need to get into it. Yeah, did you just teach yourself how to do it? Or

Shelly: 50:31

I'm taking a course right now. And I'm nearing the end of it. I'm taking a teacher certification course for face yoga. And it is so amazing. And it's so easy to do. It requires no tools it requires just just you're watching TV. Yeah, yeah, I do it with, you know, walking down the street with a mask on and no one knows. No one even sees it. So face yoga has I just think that the exercising the muscles of the face is so underrated and not utilized enough. And you know, if you don't use it, you lose it.

Katie: 51:07

So sure. Can you show us a little teeny bit of face? Yeah,

Shelly: 51:10

sure. So yeah, so this one, I like to call the happy the happy child. And it's where you stick your bottom lip onto your top, you lift the corners of your mouth, and then press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. And while you're doing that, you activate your cheeks, and you relax the rest of the face. So I'll show you how to do it.

Katie: 51:34

You can say it's kind of hard to do. Ah, oh my gosh, that's great. That is so

Shelly: 51:47

relaxed up here, relax up here and you want to activate here. Stick your tongue on the roof. I'm

Amy: 51:53

putting this on video. This is hilarious.

Shelly: 51:58

And then if you tilt your chin back, you also get that stretch here. So it's like an all

Katie: 52:02

in Nice. I love that. It's so great. Yeah, I love it. Fun, fun, fun. Alright, so the next one, we call five minute flow. I don't know if you remember. But Uber just pinged you. You're just getting out of the shower, got no time to get ready. What are you going to do really quickly to get yourself out the door? And in that Uber on time?

Shelly: 52:22

Oh my gosh, I do remember this question. And I I remember last time I was like, Oh, I'm just I'm completely naked. And I put oil all over my body. And yes, I would still do that. But I want to give a different answer. So I would probably I just got out of the shower. I'm going to I'm going to spray my face with one of my toners I'm going to apply some oil to my face. And as I'm getting dressed, I'm going to be doing some of my face yoga poses. Nice.

Amy: 52:55

Good, nice. Good one. And how are you maintain your daily Nirvana lately? I know you have your fabulous new apartment with all that beautiful natural light coming in. But what were you doing lately? Well,

Shelly: 53:04

yeah, I was actually gonna say now that I have this new apartment with this beautiful East facing balcony, we get the morning sunlight. So what I've been doing is every morning I do about five to 10 minutes of stretching and then I sit silently for five to 10 minutes with my face facing the sun and I just sort of take that in and it just sort of grounds me right you know, before the start of the day before I have any coffee. Anything is that's the first thing I've been doing.

Katie: 53:29

That sounds no magical. Yeah, well, that sounds fantastic. I think I could get up and have a little sun on my face every day and be a much better person. I need that. So thank you for sharing. Amy, you have a product recommendation for us right I'd love to hear what it is.

Amy: 53:46

I do I do so in season one I did a review of the Maybelline sky high mascara which was trending on tick tock and I love it and I still love that because it really makes your lashes long but I found something better. Which is the Ilia i Li a Ilia fullest Volumizing Mascara. Do you know Celli? Yeah, yeah. And I love it. So it's $28 you can get on ilia.com Sephora, etc. And this formulas clean so I feel much better about using it. It's a volume volumizing mascara that wraps each lash in weightless buildable volume without flaking, smudging, irritating even the most sensitive eyes which I can attest to. And I just love it I've been testing it out over the last month and it's just as good if not better than the sky high because I feel like the sky high made my lashes long but didn't really make them thick and this really does both and I just feel like it gives me a fuller like lush look Shelly's you feel the same way.

Shelly: 54:44

Yes I love that mascara I've been using it and I at this point it's now my go to

Amy: 54:49

now totally and I love the branding is just clean and pretty and it's a similar color color to our Nirvana sisters branding, so of course I love it but I also love the tube because it's thick. It's just like kind of feels good in the hand. There's just something about it. It's like a nice wait. So that's my reco of the week. Definitely a great, great mascara. We're still wearing masks. So you gotta have those eyes looking good. So that's my record of the week. And Katie, I think you have a mantra to close this out.

Katie: 55:15

I do. And I think this will definitely hit home for those of us that have had a stressful few weeks, which it seems, is always going on in the fall when everyone's transitioning back to work, or back to school with the kids. And then of course, you know, it's q4, if you're working, you're slammed and you've got crazy things like a move. It's, it's all nuts. So to remind us, my strength is greater than my struggle. And it will always get us through because we are strong and powerful. And any thing that hits us along the way, is just going to make us stronger. So there you

Amy: 55:50

go. Good one.

Katie: 55:52

Yeah. All right. Well, Shelly, thank you so much. It was so good to see you and to have your energy and your vibe. We just We love you so much. And we are so honored and thrilled to have you. Thank you so much. And we can't wait to

Amy: 56:05

see us in the city because we're definitely doing that. But yes, thank you so much for being on the show and being our resident beauty Shaman.

Shelly: 56:14

You guys so much for having me.

Amy: 56:17

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 28 - Fitness, Self Image + 6 Effective Skincare Products for Men with Model and Personal Trainer, Alon Reitchuk (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 28.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Amy: 0:07

Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Unknown: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a former fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started. What's up Nirvana sisters family it's Amy. Before we get into this week's episode, I wanted to thank you all for your support. We are so grateful and we would love for you to please rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Apple podcasts Stitcher. castbox pod chaser and podcast addict I know all have ratings and reviews. So if you would take the time and do that we would be so so appreciative. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. It's a good one.

Unknown: 1:05

Welcome back to Nirvana sisters. So this week I'm so excited as as Amy because we have a first happening. We have our first male guest of the entire series ever. So he's going to be our honorary Nirvana brother. And he also just happens to be a very dear longtime friend of mine. He is a model that's how we know each other. And now a very successful personal trainer and influencer and his name is alone, right? Check. Hi, alone. Hello.

Amy: 1:40

So nice to meet you. I've heard so much about Thank you for having me.

Unknown: 1:43

Thank you for having me. So I learned I met in the modeling industry. what seems like forever ago we were in our early 20s and wild and crazy in New York and he's a very successful model. You have walked in fashion shows for Dolce and Gabbana, Valentino, you've been in vogue USA, you've been modeling for magazines, billboards, etc, for years, and then you moved on to your professional personal training career. At some point, this is actually super cool. Adidas sponsored you as one of their professional athletes. And he did the Tel Aviv 2014 Adidas marathon campaign, which is pretty epic. And now your main focus is being a certified personal trainer and Nutrition Advisor. And you are highly specialized across the board. You work with pregnant women post postpartum, you work with women coming out of plastic surgery, and so much more. And at one point, developed your own unique training technique which we will dive into and opened your own hips studio, so I can't wait to hear all about it. We're so happy you're here.

Amy: 2:50

Very impressive.

Unknown: 2:51

Thanks for being here. Bam. Aim. What was your nirvana of the week?

Amy: 2:55

Well, this is sort of a I was telling Katie before we started recording, alone, my dog, my little baby dog is 16 and a half years old. And he's kind of in the last chapter, I would say. And it's kind of a weird time because he was doing well. And then all of a sudden, the last few weeks, it's just been not great. And so and I have two boys, and it's been a little bit emotional. But anyway, he's a great dog. And he just had an episode last night, which was so sad. He like, couldn't get his bearings, and he was off balance. Anyway, I literally slept on the floor with him last night, I created this bed and I slept on the floor with him. And even though it's kind of sad, it was sort of this bittersweet moment because he was like, literally in my womb, He was like, in my belly. He couldn't relax because he was nervous because of all this stuff going on. But I finally was able to relax him and he was like, literally in my stomach. I was holding him and he just like, let our breath out and just like relaxed, and then he ended up going back to sleep. But I laid there with him for hours, which I haven't done probably since he was a puppy and it was just like a sweet, cute moment. One on one with Him, which I never get. And it was an older night, which is why I'm exhausted today. But anyway, it was kind of a it was a Nirvana because it brought me joy because it was just I was making him feel better. And it was just a sweet moment. He's my firstborn. He's 16 and a half of my other boys are 14 and 11. So you know, I feel very,

Unknown: 4:16

very good to just about to. I was just about to ask, I guess you had to put the dog before you had your babies before you educate dad.

Amy: 4:24

So he's my first baby. So it's, it's, yeah, it's an interesting time. But yeah, so that's me. What about you, Katie?

Unknown: 4:31

Yeah, that's I mean, that's really sweet. Has your first baby. I know how that is a teddy on my nirvana of the week happened this morning. I took a kundalini yoga class this morning, which I don't know. Are you you're familiar with Yeah. And Amy, are you familiar? You've heard of it. So I've never taken one before but it was a 90 minute Kundalini class. And basically, it's like a meditation with yoga asanas and you can hold a pose anywhere from two minutes. for five minutes, not like an a yoga pose, but, you know, meditation poses. And I think at one point I even held on for maybe like 20 minutes, but it was just really, really cool. They also did a gong sound bath at the end. And it was a you went to a class. I went to it. Yeah, that's Yeah, yeah, it was really, it was really cool. It was I had like, I feel like I had an emotional release. So it was just, it was really super special. And I'm excited to do it again. So I'm definitely going to sell them on JIRA nirvana. So I'm currently in Paris, I went to my husband, family, brothers and sisters, I met these parents, but it's gonna be it was the first time I met the sisters and brothers. And it was really nice and happy. It's also the Jewish holidays. So Katie, happy Jewish holidays. I woke up this morning, and I felt a bit tired and gloomy outside today. And like yesterday was really sunny and beautiful. And I went to the park and I ran eight miles. And it was beautiful. I sweat it out. All the bad energy. I cleared my body. And I feel I feel way better. Where we've arrived. And yeah, so that's my Nirvana off today.

Amy: 6:13

That's on I have. Yeah,

Unknown: 6:15

I think I have a little moment of Nirvana every day. Something that I really love to do. That really puts me together and makes me feel good with the rest of my day, even if things don't go smoothly. Just this little moment. Always. Always bring me back to, to my conscious and yeah, so today, the 10 kilometer, a eight mile run was the was this Nirvana moment for me. It's green and beautiful in Paris. And it's a gorgeous city. And it's also a way to, to view and explore this beautiful place alone is originally from Tel Aviv, and you've lived in Tel Aviv, New York, London. Now, you did live in Paris at one point. I lived in Paris. I lived in Paris briefly because I've been in and out just on jobs. And also I've lived in Germany, in Hamburg, and in Berlin for a while. I was racing born raised in Tel Aviv. And then when I was 18, I moved to the UK to the US, sorry. And then I moved back to Israel. And then I traveled around Europe working for modeling agencies and doing some major jobs. And now I'm in London, the past two and a half years. Yeah, I moved to London. First, because I basically wrote a trademark, I had a concept of hit fitness, that include boxing, rowing, lifting, and cycling. And I just travel around the world, doing presentations about my concept until I found an investor in the UK. And two years ago, we opened a studio, this beautiful multi million studio, and unfortunately, did not survive. COVID. So I'm back to basics. I'm on my own again. And currently, I'm doing some private trainings, I see some clients and also I train some clients on Zoom. I have couple of clients that I train in Dubai, and in New York. So yeah, I keep myself busy. Yeah. So how when did you start personal training? At what point? Did you transition from modeling into personal training? Basically, I never stopped modeling. I take jobs all the time, but more. Right now I'm more like my own agent. I don't have an agency for modeling because I have quite a big platform on my Instagram. So I get I get modeling jobs, and I started to be a private trainer. I think 10 years ago after I finished my study, I studied in sport Institute in Israel called Wingate. I studied sport and nutrition. I started to be a private trainer. And yeah, since then, that's what I do.

Amy: 9:01

Speaking of Israel, Katie and I, hopefully will be going on a trip next year to Israel and we'll be going to Tel Aviv for my son's my, my youngest son's Bar Mitzvah, we're hopefully planning student Israel so we'll be able to visit your hometown.

Unknown: 9:15

I did not realize you Jewish as well. So happy support to you as well. We've touched on how you started your your modeling career, personal training career and also you have an insane social media following. I mean, obviously, it's because you're absolutely gorgeous. And you're incredible in front of the camera, but how you have like, what over 200k followers on Instagram, is that right? I have I have 200k overall actually on Instagram. I have 150k Currently, but I have another platform, which is Facebook, and I'm starting my YouTube page. So it's altogether 200,000 on Instagram at the moment we have 15 It goes up and down all the time. How did you do you feel like it's just because you're super consistent with posting and sharing and that that has a lot to do with it. Like how did you make that happen. You know what, I've never invested any money on growing my social media platform, I think I was always authentic and true to who I am. And my style, what I believe in, I was always slightly different than others, I always had my opinion about things, and I always lead in my own direction, and ever want to follow me. Great ever not. It's also great, you know, and I was just authentic and honest about who I am. And I also grew and evolved and changed with the years, you know, and it just organically grew. Just just being myself and being honest to who I am sharing my life sharing my journey. Also, like we did deep awareness, this social media is not our real life. And we are choosing choosing to share what we are choosing to share, but it doesn't reflect who we really are for, for you know, 100%. But yeah, I think I think authenticity and honesty about who you are, for me is the key. Absolutely.

Amy: 11:04

I agree. So I have a question for you. So tell us your favorite thing about personal training, your favorite thing about modeling and then to tell us your least favorite thing about both of those things?

Unknown: 11:15

Okay, so first of all, I like I like fashion, but let's start with modeling. I love fashion. And I love climbing up. And I love that people actually make want to make the best of themselves, you know, visually and to look at the best. And I think fitness and, and fashion, they are very much aligned. And they may very much be together. Because for my clients, for example, I always tell them, if you look in the mirror, and you satisfied who you see, and just go out of the shower, look in the mirror, if it makes you smile, that's a good. And I also think that like clothes should not cover who you are, I think you should be happy with who you are. The clothes is just fabrics, you know, to make us happier. But if you are glowing from the inside, and if your aura is positive and good. So that's what's most important about fashion, I have a love and hate relationship with it because I have I have some very bad experience with fashion and some good experience with fashion. You know, I started really early. And I think it shaped my personality in many aspects because I didn't always had a good experience with it. You know, I started as a 717 year old kid, I was thrown in Milan, I did the first show that I did was Dolce Gabbana, everybody was older than me, I was treated like, you know, like an adult, which I wasn't, you know, and the things that will say to me sometimes hurt me, and I think shaped my personality and subconsciously I built walls. And you know, I made me very, very, I don't know, sometimes separate, like, separated from my emotions. And you know, you put up a line how to protect yourself, it can be an ugly industry. Yeah. And it reflects on anything on anything in my life, you know, especially on my relationships because we knew are trying to protect yourself. Sometimes you cannot be very vulnerable and honest and transparent with your feelings and with your emotions, and especially when it comes to love and relationships with any type of relationship on the scale. If it's romantic relationship friendly relationship, family relationship, I think all these boundaries that they subconsciously build harm me in a way. On the other way. You know, I've made a lot of money. I traveled the world executed my love for fashion and for style. It helped me grow my role, my style, and you know, know exactly what I like and what I don't like be involved with people that are very much like me, meet very interesting people along the way, like JT about everything that I've done in all my journey. I don't regret anything because I'm at the end of the day, I'm a happy person and I'm very happy with who I am. What about your love hate for personal training? Do you is there something you love the most about and something you just like the most about it, I cannot say that there is something that I don't like to buy personal training to be honest with you. I just love to take people and show them the way to make a better version of themselves you know and take people as a project start started at some point in the finishing point have this person blog to see them blossom in front of my eyes and you know, be happy with their achievement and be happy with their new lifestyle and the new routine. And see this transformation is just fascinating. Never gets old really. So you told me that you're focusing a lot right now your expertise you're working with a lot of women that are either post pregnancy and post plastic surgery. Let's touch on that a little bit. What what is something for our listener that just had a baby? What would you what would you say to help them get back to where they I'm gonna be so first of all, I train girls that are actually very progressive in a pregnancy, I have two girls that I train now that they are in the eight months, but they're still training. And I must say, like people that have a training routine prior to their to their pregnancy can carry on training. And it's actually very good for the particular cardiovascular and it's very healthy for the baby. On post training. I currently don't train any girls, but I've had a lot of girls that I that I've trained in the past have been after like couple of pregnancies, actually after two or three babies. And you know, it's a process. But some girls can get into a better shape than they were before their pregnancy, and into results that they actually did not believe that they will reach after their pregnancy, girls with pregnancy, after pregnancy, after they give birth. The most important is to get the strength back to their core to midsection, a lot of concentration about the area of the pelvis, about all the core muscle, oblique and abdominal area that needs basically to be refurbished if you can, if you can say that way, because this is the most areas that are being damaged after pregnancy, I can say that you can see very, very good results. And some girls again, get to a better shape and to a better physique than they were before the pregnancy. Basically, I start with them, I start with them from a very, very, very foundation of like really simple aircraft, exercising of even breathing, you bring you know, it's exhale, and inhale to get the strength of the of the core back to the body. And then I start like a little bit more and more and more harder exercises, planks, abs exercises, a lot of bridges of the pelvis, you know, there, I can basically do a Mat Workout for an hour with the girl with bunch of different exercises to basically rehabilitate this area. That makes sense. And then is it kind of somewhat similar for these plastic surgery, post plastic surgery clients that you're working on? It depends what kind of plastic surgery if it's a tummy tuck. So basically girls with a tummy tuck, it's a super, super difficult surgery, you know, it takes like six months to just recover from, from the surgery and to recover from all the wounds and you know, the stitches and all of that. And a lot of girls that do atomic tag, they do a bob boob job at the same time, I guess because they open already. They want to

Amy: 17:40

get a two for one.

Unknown: 17:42

Yeah, yeah. So a lot of girls, I don't know, I think I, I see this in in London, for example, I've trained, I think it's fourth, the fourth person that I trained with tummy tuck and boob job that this procedure done at the same time. So basically, you know, tummy tuck is just like, you know, it takes the skin and stretching it back and put it back on. So you don't really have problem with it with the muscle area there. So it's very individually depends what each person needs some girls, you know, they have a tummy tuck, but they still have access fat in different areas in their body that they need to work on. Some of them have a very bad Cellulite is in the legs. So you need to even out and you know, make the body of the best version of itself. I currently train a 55 year old woman, she had a tummy tuck and a boob job. And you know, this area looks great, but she's very weak, she needs a lot of work on the core area because also if your core is weak, you get that big belly because there is nothing to protect the the, you know, the intestines, the inside part of your body. If you make it stronger than everything stuck in it looks firmer and smaller. So yeah, we work on that. She you know, she has a lot of similarities in her legs. So that needs to be executed and work on very aggressively, you know, but it's really it's really individual because girls after Tomita can do job. Each girls is individual they need different things. So you can't really I can't really give you one solution or one remedy of what I do with them.

Amy: 19:18

What are you doing? What are you doing with that one client about cellulite? Is it more strength training? Is it Pilates like what types of things help to make it look better? I know you can't get rid of it but what things help it help?

Unknown: 19:33

So I'll be honest here satellites if they really did, you cannot entirely 100% Get rid of them. Especially when you're in a progressive age after 50 It's very it's very hard to reverse it but if you make the muscle stronger, you make the skin stretch and then it looks smoother and better. You know, cellulite is usually comes in the hamstring area in the back of your legs. This is the most common area to have cellulite just They do a lot of squats, a lot of lunges, a lot of deadlifts, a lot of bridges on the floor. And you know, like really working specifically on this area, you get some good results, but you cannot get 100% rate of cellulitis, unfortunately, where does cardio come into into play as well? I mean, I would imagine, do you, of course, there's, there's got to be a balance of having both to really achieve results. So yeah, you know, a lot of girls that believe that they want to lose, they believe they want to lose weight, they think the cardio is the answer. But girls don't believe don't understand. Also, guys don't understand that. Like, if you do only cardio, it's actually not good for your muscles. And it doesn't make your body look firm and tight and strong. So what happens is, some girls or guys do five sessions of cardio a week, and then they lose all the fat in the body, but their muscles become very, very soggy. You know, so it's a very, very specific, gentle balance between cardio and strength, which need needs to be executed together. I would imagine just all body types are different. Like there's no, you have to have, essentially, you have to have a balance of building muscle mass, and also cardiovascular exercise. And then what about in regards to like stretching and leaning out and yoga and things like that makes? A question came up when you're talking about say, like, when you use a roller like you rolling out the Maya fascia, does that do anything for cellulite at all? Or not really, I think that like the normal traditional sports are the most helpful for cellulite. So that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about strength. I'm talking about cardio, and I'm talking about proper stretching every time after workout, and even have like the have half an hour, once a week of proper stretching, because this is very important, very rewarding to your body. Otherwise, if you don't stretch your body accumulate a lot of lactic acid, which is not allowing you free mobility of your muscles. It makes the muscles really tight and stiff. And we don't want that, in my opinion. Muscles should be sorry, my long and Leander Yeah,

Amy: 22:20

exactly. Especially for men, there's they just most men I know can't like touch their feet. Like they're just so much tighter than women who do more like stretching. And so what's your stance on so

Unknown: 22:34

I tell you that a year ago, I'm I'm not a big lover of stretching, but I have to do it. A year ago, I was working out. And I was doing deadlifts with really heavy bar in the gym. And I felt that something cracking in my back and on the way out of the gym, I fell on the floor without the ability of getting up the floor. Oh my god. Luckily, luckily, I didn't you know, I didn't do any river, a river irreversible damage to my body. But I had like, proper muscle spasm in my back that didn't allow me to stand up straight for like two months. Wow. Horrible, horrible, it was super painful is the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. And since then, I realized that even if I don't like it like any other thing that sometimes we don't like in life, and we have to do this is one of them. I don't like it, but I have to stretch otherwise, I will not be able to, you know, to execute the kind of workouts that I do the long runnings that I do. And if I have to do a little something that I don't like in order to execute all these great things that I love to do, that's what it is. Stretching is super important and super, I think crucial to people that are working out on a daily base. And even if you don't like it, you need to give it the time. Otherwise it will retaliate at some point right up to my, my husband, Adam, he, he couldn't touch his toes at all. Like he couldn't even come close. He couldn't even touch like mid Shin almost for a really long time. And then he started boxing. He's going to a boxing studio, where they also box and then they also do hit routines. And then they also stretch. And now he's super flexible. I mean, it's amazing that he's got all of that from one program. But

Amy: 24:27

yeah, I mean probably helps us back to that for sure he

Unknown: 24:31

has he has had a lot of really bad back. Yeah, it's helped him a lot. Today for example, after my run, I really felt shortness in my lower back, you know, because the impact of your foot your feet to the floor. Makes this make this muscle really tight. I guess I'm also in my late 30s now so you know when you're getting older, it's you feel these things more than in the past. So you have to give it attention. I was in the shower. I didn't have time to work to do a proper stretching but that We're standing up in the shower, and forcing myself to stretch myself in these three minutes that I have in the shower. So I don't feel I don't feel my back later on today, if you have to, you have to and you can always find time for it. And to be honest with you people that working out four or five times a week, it's crucial and super important to do yoga. Because yoga, balance it out. The cardio, the heat workouts, the boxing, they're running the strength, whatever you do, you need to do the stretching. Yeah, so we Amy and I both kind of like rotate everything right like I do. reformer Pilates yoga. And then like, like cardio, I don't do intense cardio. But Amy, tell them what you do.

Amy: 25:42

Yeah, I mean, I kind of do whatever feels intuitive that day, I try to move at least 20 minutes a day, sometimes more, sometimes less, I run, I spin, I do a lot of like floor Pilates type work, yoga, just kind of depends. I've just tried to mix it up. Lately, I've been doing more yoga, pilates, because I've been more in that mode. I haven't i i was actually running a couple weeks ago, or actually it was over the summer. And I felt the next day my knee like the outer part of my left knee was hurting. And I was like, it's gonna take a break because it made me a little bit nervous because it's happened to me before. And it's like I could hear it when I was like going up and down the stairs as I'm going to labor. So I haven't really run since then I've just been like, walking, but I'll do a lot of times I'll do a conference call. And I'll just like go on my treadmill and walk the whole time. And it's great. You know, I like burned a lot of calories, they feel good. So just kind of depends on I feel Katie and I talked about this last time, I feel like the older you get, the less like of this intense cardio is appealing because I used to do tons of intense cardio and I like, I just want to do that. Now. Oil is good. When you

Unknown: 26:45

get older, the recovery is very important in order to maintain like good health and good workouts. Also another tip that is important to say, if you do a lot of cardio, and if you go walk on the treadmill, going in incline on the treadmill is much healthier for your joints, especially for your knees than going down. Yeah. All flat or downhill is not very important for your knees. Because I mean, it the movement is invisible. But basically, when you when you're going downhill or you're going flat, the you lock your knee in a way that is not very, it's not very good for it. When you're going uphill, it's actually not happening because you're not blocking your knees entirely. And then you kind of protect them. So the movement is much healthier. If you do incline or one incline, it's very important to keep the gradient because it's really protecting your, your joints. I've done marathons in my life. And you know, if I had a long distance of running downhill, I really felt the impact after on my knees. Yeah, I try to walk always with somewhat of an implant, even if it's just like a one or a two. Just something right.

Amy: 27:59

Yeah. And it helps your hamstrings too.

Unknown: 28:01

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Also, if you do a lot of cardio, it's really good. It's really important to do some strength workouts on your legs because your muscle, if the fibers are strong and firm, they are really protecting your bones and cartilage and it's really important to balance it out if you do only cardio, and you don't actually give some effort on your muscles. You want to feel it on your bones sooner or later. And it's really important to make the muscles around your legs super firm and strong and make the fibers hold your bones you know? So yeah, this doesn't have to be done with strength training. Can you do that? I mean, can you achieve that through Pilates and yoga and things like that? Or do you are you like a firm believer that you can only gain muscle with weights? No, no, you can. Very hard workout you can definitely achieve it but you can also you know you can also do some squats and deadlifts and and you know in some lunges at home and achieved just with your bodyweight. You don't need a lot people can achieve a really really nice healthy, fit body with nothing. That's the thing I want to blow all that meet people can really have a healthy body with nothing just a body weight, and their their ambition. That's it. You know, it's great to do a great workout at home especially for girls. They don't usually don't want to grow, grow muscles. If they are really ambitious about it, you can achieve amazing workouts without nothing just you and your yoga mat in your living room set right

Amy: 29:33

it's I feel like it's just all about commitment and consistency and if you're just absolutely now

Unknown: 29:38

just consistency commitment and you know, believe that you can become a better version of yourself and we all can

Amy: 29:44

just so want to move into nutrition and just want to hear about kind of like what your diet is or what you recommends to your clients like because that's least for me getting older diet has become whereas before I didn't think about it as much diet has become such a bigger Do because they feel like everything you're eating, you can just feel it the next day or you know, it's just harder the older you get, like you eat one thing and you gain like two pounds, and you're like, what I just had like a piece of whatever you know, love to hear your thoughts.

Unknown: 30:14

Okay, so just a general thing about, about nutrition, I recommend to all my clients when they first wake up in the morning to drink at least three or four cups of water. If you have them a minute to boil your water, let them let them cool off for a second, squeeze a lemon into it, clear out your body start fresh today. That's amazing. That's a very simple hack that you should, everyone should execute to be honest with you. Also, you know, when you drink a lot of water in the morning, it makes you feel fuller, it helps you go to the toilet much easier because your body is full of fluid. Everything goes smoother, clears your body, the lemon is acid cleanse your your stomach's cleanse your system. And then you start on a fresh foundation. So this is something that I recommend to all my clients. Second of all, I divided them into two parts. So let's say you're awake for 16 hours a day, okay, on the first eight hours, I would recommend you to eat your carbs to eat your pasta to eat your rice to eat your bread. But on the eighth, the second eight hours, start eating all of that and take and consume protein, which is fish, can be lentils can be meat can be chicken, all of that, okay, and fresh fruit, fresh vegetables made in any way. Stir fried ovan, whatever you like. So, you know, I would suggest to eat your carbs during the first time or the first hours of the day. So you use these carbs as a fuel to function during the day. If you eat your carbs in the second part of the day, your body turn tends to store it and keep it inside, especially when you have heavy dinner, let's say 9pm. And then at midnight, you go to sleep, your body does not use these carbs to fuel as a fuel to function, but your body wants to store it. And then the following day, you're waking up uncomfortable, because you had like a very heavy meal. And you actually heavier than you were the previous day. Yeah, I don't believe I don't believe in not enjoying food. I love food. And I eat from every I eat everything to be honest with you. But you know, yesterday I had a heavy meal. So I will balance it out. And I will go for a run today. So I actually you know, I'm actually in a good place because it balances out. Also like you have to consider how much you burn compared to how much you consume. Because if you eat 1500 calories a day, it's just an example. And you just burn 1000 Of course you're gonna gain weight. It's very simple. But to be honest with you the the hack of dividing your data to and take the first half of the day, and eat carbs and eat everything you like, and let your body use these calories as a fuel. And then the second the second part of the day, just try to eat protein and vegetables and as much less carbs as you can. This is a this is a hack that works for everyone.

Amy: 33:21

Yes, easy to remember.

Unknown: 33:23

Yeah, I I feel like though, it's probably key for a lot of people. For me, especially I have slow digestion. So finding the carbs that I can eat in the first half of the day that aren't going to weigh me down or bloat me all day is crucial. So I typically end up doing the opposite of what you say because yeah, sure, like I want to have some some some bread or some rice or whatever. But if it's going to weigh me down and make me feel bloated and feel lousy, then it's going to make me drag all day. But I have found that if I start my day with a giant bowl of fruit, which is it's carbs, it's carbs and sugar, that it gives me great energy and I feel I feel really good. So and then I do find that I like naturally want to eat less heavier carbs later in the day. But yeah, I don't think like some people just you have to find what works for your body. Right? We are very individual and very different. But I think what you say is very true, but it's all about portions. If you sit and eat like a full bowl of rice Of course it's going to make you bloated and exhausted. But if it's going to be monitored and you're going to have I don't know portion of chicken with the sauce and then two or three spoons of of rice. I don't I'm not sure it will make you feel the same way. Okay, yeah.

Amy: 34:33

Yeah, I think portions is such a big I've been focused on that lately just like not because we just these these meals that especially Americans are used to the rough. It's just it's too much. You just need a little bit.

Unknown: 34:47

You don't need it. You really don't need it. We have as modern people as best in the Western world. We have big eyes, we consume way more than we need. You know. For me Like, you know, I never refill my plate. You know, I eat whatever I want. I enjoyed the food, but I never refilled the plate because I know that if I will refill my plate, afterwards, I'm going to feel heavy and tired. And I will not be able to carry on with my day. Lightly smoothly, you know, because it's going to be there, it's going to be stuck in my stomach, I'm going to be too full. Also, if you eat a lot right away, you feel tired, you want to sleep, so your brain is not functioning properly. So a little trick though, just to say, You know what, I'm not going to refill my plate. That's just a good, that's a good little trick. You know, I like

Amy: 35:39

and what about alcohol? Do you drink alcohol,

Unknown: 35:42

I don't drink during the week, it all I usually have one day in the weekend, not more than one day, because if I pour it when I need a recovery, a full recovery time after I drink alcohol, I drink one night, I would even hate the thought of drinking alcohol The following night. So I will find one day, one night in the weekend, you know, especially usually a day that they don't work the following day, because when I drink alcohol out there, I drink

Amy: 36:10

you're all in.

Unknown: 36:13

So I will find one night that I'm drinking and that will be the only day during the week that I actually drink alcohol. And every six months, I take full months of that I clear my body. I don't drink at all. And you know, it gives about it gives you the energy to to you know, to start again. Also, I you know, I just I think I haven't changed in terms of how I look for I think 10 years at least. And I'm the same way as well. I can say it I mean, I'm sorry if it sounds pretentious, but it's true. You you look at because it's amazing. Because I make sure that I drink and this is the easiest, simplest act so that I can you know, that I can recommend to everyone I drink between 20 to 30 glasses of water every day. You know, and this is like I think this is the only thing that really says definitely rejuvenating keeps your body young and healthy. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. So in regards to drinking, too, just to circle back really quickly. Like, we're not even saying, you know, lots of drinks every night. I mean, I know from personal experience, even just like one glass of wine during COVID I would have one glass of wine almost every night. But still, I was like trying to lose the COVID weight afterwards, but still having that one glass of wine and I couldn't lose a pound to save my life. And then finally when I was like, okay, you don't need this one glass every night, chill out. Then I started losing the COVID weight. You know, it's like I put on a few extra pounds. It started to come right off. It's like especially I feel like for women and as we get older, that like one little extra glass Samia block is gonna really screw you over. Right? You know, we? Yes, absolutely. We are very different. You know, each one of us have different needs. And you know, for me, I don't need a glass of wine. You know, I have like a pipe of CBD oil that I take to puffs and I feel great after it relaxes me. It ends my day in a proper way. It fits my brain. You know, it makes me more mellow. And yeah, so for you. It's a glass of wine. It's for me. It's the CBD. It's all

Amy: 38:22

sugar. I know. You don't tell me from that.

Unknown: 38:25

Tell us what that is. What brand are you using? No, really well. So this is the brand that I use. Now someone bought bought it for me. And it's blueberry and raspberry flavor. It tastes amazing. Not harsh. And it's nice and smooth. So yeah. Thanks.

Amy: 38:46

That was definitely a better way to relax. I yeah, definitely had to put in. So before we get into our rap session alone, I gotta hear something about Katie from her younger days, because you know, I hear starting, I hear I don't know if I should open it here. Let's be very careful to X rated but you know, like, we got to hear something juicy. Because let's be real. I didn't know Katie back then. And I have a feeling it was a good time. So

Unknown: 39:15

he and I were actually very close. Very, very close. We were kids in New York, just like trying to figure out our own identities. We did a lot of bad stuff together. Alongside with a lot of good stuff together. We had the time of our lives. Yeah. We had a time of our lives who made amazing people we all we were the most amazing who circle of friends. I have such I have goosebumps just talking about. We lost some amazing people along the way. Our friend dear friend Lisa left us earlier the day she was there she was supposed to but have only good memories from Katie and also also like every time that they seek it at every time I see Katie I feel like the time the time stopped and I see the same girl with the same smile and the same attitude and that's what I love about her nothing changed her nothing touched her. And I hope you feel the same way about Of course I do. Like why is so fast we have so many great memories. Know what go ahead we got some beauty hacks because I prepared my beauty bag.

Amy: 40:32

Oh yeah,

Unknown: 40:33

I love that but first Okay, so just really fast though. How can our listeners find you if they want to work with you? Um, well, they can reach out to me on Instagram and I can leave my phone number with you. I don't have my website right now. It's not an error to be honest with you. I'm working on a new website. So the best way is just go on Facebook on Instagram you'll find me right away alone dude. Right? Definitely. So I prefer I prefer my bag here. Oh my god, I love the shows. I can show you what I what I use you know after all, I'm gay. I'm gay and I'm a model so you know I need to have that tag with

Amy: 41:10

me. It's like a win win of products. I can't wait.

Unknown: 41:14

Let me find just like the the most crucial most important ones and I'm with you in a second okay. Yes, this is your favorite. Okay, beauty. So I must I must say that I don't believe in us is super expensive skincare. I believe in using skincare that have minimum ingredients in it. And each ingredient have like 20 or 30% of the actual product because I find it working way better than product that combining many different ingredients in it. And then it touches many many things but in the end of the day it does nothing. Okay. So I'm gonna start with this. This is company I just I just found out about it. The name of it is the inky list.

Amy: 41:57

Oh I know that brand. Yeah.

Unknown: 41:58

Oh nine caffeine. And this is actually incredible. It well it recommends to use it during the day but I put it at night as well. It is basically just like a caffeine, D puffiness. product. It works amazing. And it's super smooth. It has a lot of moisture in it and it's great for your eyes every time I put it I see the difference right away was the brand what was the first inky

Amy: 42:27

list in the

Unknown: 42:28

list? Nice. Okay. This is the collagen booster of the same brand which is amazing.

Amy: 42:36

Oh, is that like a serum or?

Unknown: 42:39

It's a serum? Okay, it's a very simple product it cost maybe $12 like nine nine in British pounds, but it's amazing. I go to sleep with it at night and I wake up and I literally feel that my skin is smoother

Amy: 42:51

Wow Yeah.

Unknown: 42:54

Now this one is if I want to glam up a little bit or I go out or before photo shoot. The name of the Charlotte Tilbury yeah Charlotte Tilbury and it makes your skin like marble literally.

Amy: 43:12

Is it is it a serum or is it like something you put on top of?

Unknown: 43:18

No no you put it first and then you put your lotion? Okay. Also this all the stuff that I showed you? This is like the foundation you put it first and then you put everything else? Yeah. Okay. No, this is my night. My nighttime mask that I use every like every other day to be honest. Say what it is I slipped at it at a clinic monstrous surge overnight mask of hydration. We are we are facing we are facing the winter now. It gives you a lot of motivation. It's amazing. Super good. Simple, you know cheap product. Nice. And then I have something else I wanted to show you just one moment. Sorry. So there is this brand. I don't know if you ever come to us but it goes face gym. Yes, Jim. I haven't heard of it. Yeah, they have stores. I have this. It looks like clips. Okay, when I put this at night, I take this and I literally massage all the muscles in my face. Yeah. Yeah, like this, my forehead, my cheekbone. All of that. I guess this is like $40 but it's actually very useful. And after you use it for a couple of weeks, you see the difference? For sure. Yeah, we love quassia Nice. Okay. And this is when I'm going out or I want to look super nice for an occasion but it's fashion week now. So I need to play I need to play the game. I find this the best makeup in town girls. This is the best stuff you can ever get. It's amazing. It absorbed into the skin. You cannot see that you wear anything. And it makes your skin look like

Amy: 44:58

marble literally. It It Cosmetics CC cream eight because

Unknown: 45:02

it cosmetics CC cream and then you need to choose your tone. I'm a medium, okay? But it's amazing. And it's also not expensive. It shouldn't cost more than $45.

Amy: 45:13

And it looks like that too, right? Yeah.

Unknown: 45:17

In one drop in one drop, you are covering your whole face you don't need a lot at all. So a tube like this, let's say that you use it twice or three times a week will last for five for four or five months. It's amazing. Honestly, this is the product that I recommend the most. Wow. So yeah, this round of applause

Amy: 45:39

those are all great. We're gonna put them on the show notes for all the listeners.

Unknown: 45:42

Amy's going to turn around and purchase all of them as soon as we can. Because that's a

Amy: 45:49

well since we're talking about products maybe I should give you guys my product review this week. Yeah, let's hear what is your review so my product is called the hot mess ice roller. Okay, I don't know if you can see it. I'm trying to get it close to the camera see? It's by the skinny confidential the skinny confidential is the brands by Lauren Bostick, who's like a fashion lifestyle blogger influencer. She has a podcast her husband Michael owns I think your media Podcast Network. And she this this was her first product that came out and so you put it in the freezer, or the fridge or nothing and it's just a roller and it feels like Yeah, I had it in the freezer overnight and I'm putting it on my skin. It feels amazing. If your face is puffy in the morning, like mine and I know Katie's is all the time like just from it feels so good and it really brings down the swelling in your face so I use it

Unknown: 46:43

look somewhere between like shaver and massager.

Amy: 46:46

Yeah, exactly. It's so it's it's $69 and they say it's a preventative skin tool that uses the power of cold therapy to contour Titan and Depop your skin. The hotness eyebrow is all aluminum roller gets cold fast and stays cold longer than those those are ice roller so I never knew what an ice roller is until this came out. But apparently it's like something that they have like that they sell but they're more like medical, but this one's like more fine. It has a little groove here so you can put your thumb there so it just makes it easy. Oh just kind of go like this and I just

Unknown: 47:21

haven't I need it.

Amy: 47:22

Oh good. I actually do it on my sometimes too. It's my neck is always sore. And I do it on there but it's fabulous. I love it. I do it morning and night so it really helps with the puffiness. So that's tinny, confidential hot mess eye roller and it's it's really fun and I think it just came out recently and I'm looking on their website they just won the 2021 Readers Choice Beauty Awards from InStyle so anyway, yeah good product after you get all your products off and you just do that feels good right in the morning after a night out of of the one day that you drink so

Unknown: 47:56

so now I don't want to skip out on our rap session. I definitely want to hear allowance five minute flow and his Yeah, I mean kind of told us how you maintain your nirvana. But alright, here's what we call our five minute flow. You just got out of the shower. Uber pinged you there five minutes away. What are you going to do to get out the door? Like looking amazing, like you'll always do in that time? Bing bang, boom. I mean, you're a guy so it's so much easier. But what are you okay, so I'll probably well if I'm, if I'm be honest, like in real life, I would probably put you'd sunglasses and a hat. Yeah, I would probably I would probably drink lots of water. Put my vitamin C serum on my face and you woke up? Nice. That's what which Vitamin

Amy: 48:42

C Serum do you use? Was it I use the

Unknown: 48:45

No, no, I don't have it here. Actually, I have it back in London. It's a basically simple. It's a simple clinic drops that I put on my face makes your skin look glowing and refresh. And you know, breasted. Yeah. Plenty guys are working they should be hiring you to do I honestly, I honestly don't. I mean, I change products all the time. Because I believe that your body will your face, get your skin get used to a product, it stop reacting to it. I try things all the time. And also because I'm an influencer, I get I receive a lot of products. So I get to try new things and to see what I like and what I don't like. I also I also must say that like I suffer from a slight rosacea that actually appears in the summer. So yeah, I have to consider that when I choose my product because some some products in really inflame it and make it worse. Yeah, that's I get that from time to time also, so I know exactly what you're saying. Okay, all right. And then how do you maintain your daily nirvana? I mean, you kind of said it earlier. You What do you do you exercise every day?

Amy: 49:51

What's your day so keeps you peaceful? Yeah, yeah,

Unknown: 49:53

I think I think I really like I'm meditating my brain when I run and when I work out And this is the things that I do for my nirvana. I'm usually, I'm usually very calm, I'm not a very stressed person, and I Let life be very politic to my thoughts and to my been, and I don't get too involved. You know, I can think about someone something or something that stresses me out. But I know how to keep it all and don't get too involved with it. And this is what keeps me calm and you know, relaxes me, basically. But, yeah, but basically sports and fitness. And yeah, this is my therapeutic time in my Nirvana time, like this morning that I went for 10 kilometres one, I'm not gonna lie to you. It was a bit hard today, but I've done it. And you know, after I finished it, I'm a whole new person. Yeah, for sure. So yeah. Sorry. It's very simple. Yeah. Yeah, we all kind of do similar things. And it doesn't make such a huge difference. Alright. So before we say goodbye, let's wrap with our mantra. And I thought, since I did this kind of lean D, I'm probably saying it wrong. Yoga this morning, that I would bring the Sanskrit mantra that we used. So nice today, because I had such an emotional moment with it that I almost I had tears rolling down my face at one point. And it's Sat Nam. And what that means is, this truth is my identity. And I mean, I'm just, you know, I'm going through a transitional phase in my life and trying to be really, really true to myself. And like you mentioned, you spoke to it earlier alone, like, knowing who you are and being true to who you are. How important that is. So such nom

Amy: 51:50

Satnaam All right, well, nice to meet you. Oh my

Unknown: 51:57

gosh, yeah, it was so good. Dave. It's so nice. To see you face you to be live soon. Yes. So nice to talking to you girls. And taking part in your show. And we'll speak soon.

Amy: 52:11

Yeah, absolutely. Thank

Unknown: 52:12

you, man. Bye. Bye bye.

Amy: 52:15

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.

Episode 26 - Dr. Erin Cooper Returns; What We Can And Can’t Control (Full Transcript)

This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 26.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Amy: 0:07

Welcome to Nirvana sisters, where we discuss all things health and well being to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. Hi, I'm Amy Sherman, a marketing exec with a passion for wellness and beauty.

Unknown: 0:19

Hi, I'm Katie Chandler, a form of fit model that has a passion for health and fitness. We are

Amy: 0:25

sisters in law who share the same love for well being ready to sift through all the self care noise and bring you a splash of what we think is fun. So let's get started.

Unknown: 0:37

Welcome Nirvana sisters, welcome back this week by absolute popular demand. We have the fabulous Dr. Aaron Cooper is our first reoccurring guest. We'd like to call her our resident psychologist. Her episode Don't should all over yourself with Dr. Aaron Cooper. It was episode eight in the first season did outstanding in case you didn't catch it. Dr. Cooper is a clinical psychologist. And she specializes in mood disorders, anxiety, stress, trauma, romantic relationships, and much much more. The last Convo we had with her was a lot of fun. So we are super excited to have her back. Hey, Coop. Hey guys.

Amy: 1:22

Thanks for back.

Unknown: 1:24

Yeah, welcome back. I should disclaimer because I called her coop. I've known her since I don't know how old we were. So we're really old friend. She's my best friend in the world. So to be more formal, I guess I'll call you Aaron or Dr. Cooper. I mean, actually, I do have some patients that call me Dr. Koop. That's great.

Amy: 1:43

I love that. Dr. Koop.

Unknown: 1:47

Dr. Koop All right. Well, let's kick it off with our weekly Nirvana Ami. What was yours this week?

Amy: 1:53

Well, I would say mine is probably very similar to many in the universe right now, which is my kids went back to school this week. So it was just a nice week because I think the kids were actually excited to go back because they were with my kids school. They were in school last year, but it still wasn't you know, ideal. And this year is still not ADL, they still have to wear masks, etc. But I think they were really excited my little ones starting middle school and my big ones starting high school. So big milestones for both of them. And they were excited. And it was bittersweet for me to see them kind of go on to to new schools and new experiences, but I was happy for them. So it was definitely a Nirvana to see them kind of get back into their element and in a routine. So that's me for the week. What about you, Katie?

Unknown: 2:42

That's really sweet. Well, yeah, I'd say mine is absolutely the same. I mean, Madeline started last week. And it was phenomenal. But for this week, it was received this morning, she, you know, was in school for literally two months last year. So she was so excited to go to school and to be with her friends and to socialize and do the whole bit, so I'm just so I'm happy for her. The child has been sheltered for a large fraction of her life, considering she's three. So it was a great day. What about you, Cooper, mine has been the weather in Cleveland. I don't know if either of you have ever been. So I'm in Cleveland, Ohio, for those who are listening. And I don't know if either of you have ever been here in early September. But the weather is perfection. It is clear blue sky sunshine, mid to upper 70s, no humidity. And it is just like there's the cool Christmas in the morning and then the warm sun in the afternoon. And it is just such a mood lifter, and so well deserved. I think for us Clevelanders because we all know that winter is coming. And in a few short months, it will be gray and snowy. But for now, man, it is hard to beat the weather that we're getting.

Amy: 3:49

I love that. I know we've had some pretty good weather here too. And it really does completely change your mood. You feel like you can do anything when the weather is good. And that fresh air is coming in, you feel like a different human. So that's great. You know,

Unknown: 4:01

most of our listeners already know who you are, Dr. Cooper, but give us a really quick little recap on your career. Tell us how long you've been practicing. You have your own private practice, etc. You just want to give us a little snippet insight for the new listener. Yeah, I've got a private practice that I started when my oldest daughter was born. So she's four and a half. So started it just about little over four years ago. I have a couple of clinicians that work with me as well. And the number of clinicians has waxed and waned over the years. And I've been in practice for about 10 years. You know, I've been in training. I mean, I was in school for 10 years and then there's postdoc training and so I've been doing this a long time and yeah, moving forward, the business is probably not going to grow too much. I've had to rein things in and recognize like how many buckets my energy is getting poured into and and Right now at this time in my children's lives, it's looking like, the buckets are all there. I can't add any more buckets. So just working, I'm working on my own and terms of being satisfied with where things are currently and accepting that, you know, I can't continue to expand and maybe the way that my more ambitious self would like to, because of other responsibilities that I have

Amy: 5:24

failure on that one, I think a lot of us struggle with that. So it's good that you're able to recognize your, your limits, it's hard to do.

Unknown: 5:32

Yeah, for sure. Only so many hours in the day, I feel like that kind of puts us a little bit into some questions that I've been wanting to ask you about, because we thought it would be a good episode to talk about two major topics, control and boundaries. And I think for a lot of people right now, I'm so curious what you're seeing with your patients, because I imagine control is a massive issue for people in the world right now, just because of everything that's going on and still being like, controlled by the government and with COVID. And, and how that can trickle down into every aspect of your life. And he's setting boundaries, like you said, I feel like you just set a boundary for yourself, but for your own health, knowing exactly what you need and how smart it has to do that and to be able to get there. So what are you seeing in regards to your patients that are struggling a lot right now with let's let's start with control. What's a common theme right now that you're that you're seeing? Yeah, you touched on it. It's the the state of the world that we're living in, if you take a step back, and watch too much of the news, and read too many headlines and spend too much time on social media, we are experiencing a lot of cultural, global traumas. And many people are feeling re traumatized by the headlines on a daily or hourly basis. And in response to the anxiety within us that this stuff creates, we often seek to control everything. And our anxiety is at an all time high. And the more that we feel that we can control in our environment, the more at ease, we feel like I have controlled everything, nothing can go wrong, everything will be fine. And it's really important to recognize that there's actually very little that we can control and many of these situations COVID, for instance, somewhat I've had several patients talking about having family weddings coming up and really being worried about how to manage that. And should they go and should they still be having this event, etcetera, etcetera. And I've encouraged people to think about what are the things that you can control based on the information that we have to date, because we can only operate based on the information that we have right now. And so recognizing that if I'm going to throw a wedding for my child, who, Whose wedding has been, you know, pushed back for the past 18 months, because of this pandemic, they really want to have it and they're looking forward to it. Well, what can you can control, you can control the location, whether it's indoor or outdoor, you can control the number of people, whether they come from multiple households, or limited number of households, you can control their vaccination status, you can control whether people wear masks or don't wear masks. And in thinking through, like, what are the things that I have a choice in? And what are the things I don't have a choice in? What are the things that I'm not in charge of. So I had a conversation with a patient recently that to encourage them to recognize that if, if an event is being held, they are not in charge of someone else's decision to come. That ultimately everyone is making the decisions that they feel best to make, to to navigate this pandemic, or really any situation in line with their value system. And we are not in control of other people's choices. And that tends to be a really hard one. For a lot of people to wrap their head around and to accept I think intellectually, we get it like of course, I'm not in charge about other people's other people's choices. But emotionally we feel so invested in other people's choices. And it's very difficult to take a step back and recognize that that's not my monkeys, not my circus. I can't control those people and their choices. Yeah, it's interesting that you say that because there's some aspects that I always wonder like, so there's a level of control that's healthy, and then there's a level of control that's unhealthy and I feel like you just gave us like you just delineated that line, like what you can control yourself is healthy and you can give yourself permission to do that. You just can't control other people. And I mean, speaking as a wife as a mother, sometimes I I really have to remind myself of that, that I cannot control my husband or my children no matter how hard I try.

Amy: 9:50

My best we can I didn't know that. Yes, we can tell us how to do that.

Unknown: 9:58

And best you can influence To the people in your life to to potentially make different choices. So you can't control whether or not your husband decides to put his dirty laundry in the hamper, or on the ground in front of the hamper, right? Because like, at the end of it, he is an adult person. And he's going to make the choice when he takes off his clothes, where they're going to go, you can influence the choice that he makes by communicating to him, how that makes you feel when you see his laundry on the ground, right? Someone's obviously picking that up at some point. That's not just living there indefinitely. So if it's not you, who do you think it might be? And how do you think that might make me feel to continually be picking up clothes from an adult that I'm living with, when there's already these other little people I'm living with, I'm also picking up after. And so again, it's not that I can control what my partner is going to do, or anyone in my life can't control their choices, but I can hope to influence them.

Amy: 11:00

Let me ask you a question about this. And this is just more of a way to say something like that to someone. I think a lot of people struggle with communication in their relationships in their marriage. And what do you think is the best way to communicate feedback, whether it's to your children, to your husband, to your friend, using that example, with the laundry, right? Like, I think, especially with husband, husbands and wife, they get in this pattern of constantly nagging me or someone is passive aggressive, because they're not doing XYZ, but the other person doesn't know and like, what is the most positive way to say, hey, when you do this, this bothers me. Because I think many times people deal with feedback very differently. And they'll, they'll be defensive, or I don't know, I'm just I always like good phrases to start with, like, I'll say to, you know, one of my kids, for example, Hey, let me give you feedback about something you did the other day XYZ. Sometimes when they do that, they, you know, will automatically go on the defense, sometimes I will give them a compliment, and then give them you know, the feedback within the compliment. But do you have any good recommendations on how to position constructive criticism?

Unknown: 12:06

Well, first, before I forget this thought, I don't love the freezing of can I give you feedback?

Amy: 12:14

It's like I use that I use that at work, which is not the right course you do my home? Like,

Unknown: 12:19

of course you do. And it sounds very much like, my boss has just walked into my office to give me feedback. And we all know that's conversation that's not going to go great. Right? Like no one's boss is like, I would like to give you some feedback about that. You were awesome. So I'm not surprised that your kids are reacting defensively, right off the bat, you say can I give you for my husband? Yeah. Well, your husband? Yeah. Because it also the way that the phrasing of it sets up this like power differential of, and it's, it's there with your children, we do have more power than our children, obviously. But with our partner that really shouldn't be there. And to set up a conversation I'd like to give you some feedback is setting the stage for I am your superior, I am above you in some way. And you've done bad. So I would, I would leave that freezing at home.

Amy: 13:13

Yeah, and I am sorry to interrupt one of the one of the things that I always say to my husband and my kids is it's not what you say it's the way that you say it, because they will often say things or my husband will often say things that aren't meant that they come out in a certain way that you're immediately defensive. So yes, keep going. I

Unknown: 13:31

think it's both. It's also what you say and the way that you say it. So timing is really important. When we want to have a meaningful conversation with anyone in our life. Oftentimes, people when they're feeling really intensely and passionately about something, they want to have that conversation like I feel this intense emotion, this emotion is uncomfortable. I gotta, I have to get this off my chest. And we're going to have this conversation right now. But we need to be mindful of what situations need to be in place in order for us to have the best chance of our partner, child, coworker, friend, etc. hearing us and hearing what we're trying to say and having the space and the time to react to it in a meaningful way. So first thing in the morning, not a great time for most people right before bed. Not a great time for most people. I've so many couples that I work with, where they save heavy conversations for like as they're crawling into bed. Like that's it yeah, yeah. I'm like, Dude, I am trying to wind down not now. Right, like I don't need to wind up I don't I'm my brain was turned off. So So you know, first thing in the morning, right? Right before bed, right before meal. I mean, you know, like being hangry that's a thing. And if I'm hungry, I am not paying attention to what you're saying to me. I'm paying attention to the food that I want to get in my belly. You know if some ones on their way out from work. Or if someone has just walked in the door from work, and you're like, hey, here's all these things that I need to tell you. It's like, oh, timeout, like, Give me three seconds to shift my brain from one task to the next. So I actually am a big fan of planning, standing meetings to have these kinds of conversations, it requires a lot of diligence on your end in terms of managing your own emotional response throughout the week, and sort of saving it holding it for them. You can do that with your spouse, you can do that with coworkers, you can do that with your children. Hey, let's have a check in how are we doing? How are you feeling? Is there anything that's come up this past week, so timing is super, super important. And then being both mindful of me, as you said, sort of your tone, but then also the words that you say, and I think that when we, when everyone is doing that, then things are gonna go the most smooth. However, we need to recognize that we're all human beings. And none of us do this perfectly. I mean, I, I teach people how to do this on a daily basis. And I assure you, I do not do this perfectly. So we do have to just allow for some grace, that that maybe our partner is, is coming at me in a way that feels a little intense, fine, feel like I'm being attacked. But maybe it's because they whatever it is, that they are bringing to my attention is beyond their ability to manage their own emotional response in the time that they are doing the best that they can with what they've got in that given moment. And maybe in that given moment, they're coming off a little intense. And so I have a couple of options here. I encourage couples to develop like a code word of, you know, like, banana, when someone's getting really intense, like something silly to sort of, like, let them know, like, Hey, you're doing that thing that you do were like, really excited, and kind of makes me feel defensive. So, you know, but then also, perhaps most importantly, paying attention to the words and the content of what our partner is saying. And trusting that they're saying what they mean. And I think that that is often a really challenging thing we're trying to read between the lines, we're interpreting tone, etcetera, etcetera. And I think that it can be really helpful for couples, or parents and children or friends or coworkers to simply trust that the person you have this relationship with, is saying what they mean, and listen to the content of, of what they're saying, instead of assuming all of this background intention, and assuming the feeling behind it, because we don't actually know until they tell us none of us are mind reader's, I always try when I am, you know, if there's like a big thing that I need to discuss with Adam or my kids or something I always try to start with like, this is coming from love. You know, like, I might not always say those exact words, but I try to like, give them that tone. But like, again, this is when I have been managing it. This is not just like on a random Wednesday, when something happens, and I fly off the cuff, which which happens, which, you know, kind of like circles back to the control thing. Like, I definitely want to like snap a little more quickly. And, you know, if the kids are doing something I don't want them to do instead of letting like, they might not be hurting anything. They're not hurting anyone. They're not necessarily like ripping my house apart. But maybe it's like, it's too noisy right now, or it's just, it's more than I can take. So I try to get them to stop. I try to control them in that moment. And I'm personally trying to work on like, I don't need to control that, you know, like, at what point do you say to yourself, let your child be your child, let them do what they're going to do. Like, you know, what, what lines do you use within parenting? Do you think it's time to reel in that control? I think that natural consequences are a really good thing to rely on. So if my children are doing something that is going to get them injured, it's my job as their parent to intervene, right? Like, we would never watch our child run into the front yard and head for the street with a car coming be like that. She's gonna learn eventually. Right? Like, That's not. That's not how that works. That's a good way to get your kids taken away. But if if my kids are and this just happened last night, if my kids are simultaneously banging a toy hammer on their toy, and the other ones playing on the toy piano as loud as they possibly can, I mean, they're not hurting anything. Are they driving me a little insane? Yeah, more than a little insane. But do I need to intervene and stop and say, Oh, no, let's go and read a book. Well, maybe in that moment, that's what their little bodies need. Or if they're older kids, maybe that's what you know, maybe they're riding bikes with their friends and, you know, playing video games or whatever, that actually should be limited. But you know, maybe they're playing guitar in the garage, whatever it is. Maybe that's what their bodies and their minds need at that given time, even though it's clashing with what I need. And so in that moment, you know, well, so we recognize what can I control? Well, I can attempt to control my children. It's probably not gonna go well. I mean, granted, my kids are toddlers, so it's really not gonna go well. But, I mean, I would argue even with older kids not gonna go that well, even if they even if they acquiesce to what I want them to do, they're not going to love me for shifting them off the thing that they prefer to be doing, right. So what can I do in that moment when my kids are making all this noise and I'm overstimulated, and I need them to stop? Well, instead of controlling them, because they're not hurting themselves or anybody else. I can remove myself from the room, I can remove myself from the situation. Within reason, I can't leave the house and go to the store and be like, alright, toddlers, good luck. But I can, you know, close the baby gate, and go into the bathroom and shut the door and just sit for a minute. So in the situation that you were describing, Katie, I would think about not how do you control them to make them do what what you want the girls to be doing in that given moment? But think about what do you need in that given moment, to bring your anxiety back down, to feel less overstimulated, and to be able to come to them with love and kindness? Yeah, that's such great advice, as good as

Amy: 21:19

my husband needs to listen to this. Because as Katie knows, he likes quiet. And so whenever the kids are loud, he can't it's he gets very overwhelmed. So yeah, good. Little tip. And then just before we continue on this conversation, just going back to the whole, I'm using the word feedback, because I don't know another word. We want to use USSR say me, I know what is the what is the best way to approach it. I do like this idea of like having a weekly kind of conversation or something. When is the best time to do that? And know, we talked about the times where it's not good, but like, when is it that is it? Is it good to do that on a weekend? Is it good to do like, after dinner? Like when's the best time to do that? And then how do you sort of start the conversation in a positive way, a phrase you could use in terms

Unknown: 22:04

of when you do it, it depends on the relationship and what works best for that relationship. So some, some people, mostly couples will institute this kind of thing. Gottman calls this the State of the Union visit, you know, what's the state of our union. So for some couples that I've that I work with, weekends, or it, you know, it's like Sunday morning, over coffee, kids are playing independently, like we're both kind of chill, etc. For other couples is like, I don't want to think about that kind of stuff on the weekend. Like, let's just knock this out after the kids go to bed on a Wednesday night. So it really just depends on what works for the two of you, for some people first thing in the morning can be a perfectly fine time to have any kind of serious conversation. It just is not for most and so it's those aren't times Amy that are like just strictly off limits don't do these are their thing times to be mindful of that many people are not open to having a conversation. That doesn't mean that. Yeah, so just respecting that, you know, respecting that, that people have certain boundaries, and have certain aspects of themselves that are not, are not going to permit them to have an early morning or late night conversation. But if you and your husband are people who can have that conversation, right before bed, go for it, in terms of starting a conversation off positively, I wouldn't put it honestly wouldn't put a ton of pressure on yourself to come up with this, like, perfect appropriate for, you know, a piece of canvas type quote of like, let me lead into this positively. Because if you're having a meeting to talk about these things, the expectation is we're both coming together to have a conversation about what's going on in our marriage. And so the intention of this business meeting has already been set. So I don't know that you even need to have something pre made, I think you can just sit down and say like, you know, how's

Amy: 24:00

the intention is already there? It's not a surprise.

Unknown: 24:04

Exactly. Whereas when it is a surprise, right? You have to know. Yeah, like and my husband's like, Hey, we got to talk about, you know, what our weekend plans are? And I'm like, you're not? Yeah, that is actually, you know, he could tell you. So

Amy: 24:24

let me ask you a question based on your experience with, you know, talking to a million people about this, this idea of like a weekly discussion, or weekly touch base or State of the Union, are most husbands into that or wives because I could see some people being like, I'm not doing that.

Unknown: 24:41

There's definitely a lot of people who are like, I'm not doing that. And I've had both partners tell me like, I'm not doing that. For some couples, they will do it for a couple of months. And they're like, you know, I think that we're in a good groove. Now that's really helped us work out some kinks. And they use it as long as they need to, and then they move on. And I've had other couples were like, you know, this is a good game changer for us. This has cleared up so much tension, so much miscommunication because I mean, I go so far I have people take notes, you know, and I have them like switch off, like who's taking notes so that one person doesn't become the secretary. It's like, you know, switch off taking notes have an agenda, like treat it like a proper meeting, and put it on the family schedule, and it doesn't get moved. And so some people are like, this is a game changer. We're doing this until we die. And then other people will do it for a week or two. Like many things in life, it's hard to become a habit, it falls off. And then they will say we've had all these fights lately, like Dr. Cooper, we haven't been doing those meetings, we need to get back to those meetings. So you know, they can be very helpful. There certainly are some couples are, they're not a fix for everything. But they can help open the lines of communication by giving both partners an opportunity to look forward to plan and think about how they want to communicate with their partner what they need to communicate with their partner, and have a designated time for it instead of this. How am I going to catch your attention long enough in between Joey's soccer practice and Sally's clarinet rehearsal and school and work? And when are we going to have this conversation, it gives both both parties something to look forward to.

Amy: 26:15

Yeah, I love that. It actually reminds me of when my kids were smaller, well, like pre pandemic when the kids were younger. And I felt like I wasn't spending because I was working so much. I felt like I wasn't spending enough time with them. And I felt like my kids weren't like talking to me as much. And I remember my pediatrician was like, You should do a monthly, I forget what you call it, like a monthly meeting, like a monthly fun day or whatever, where everyone leaves their electronics at home and you go do an activity, whether it's hiking, or biking, or walking, or whatever it is, she goes to naps when you communicate with your kids. And we started doing that we had it on the calendar every month, and it was great. And it really did help get everyone closer. So it's sort of the same thing just manifested a different way. Well, I'm

Unknown: 26:53

particular, it can be really beneficial to try to talk over an activity like playing cards or going for a walk. Because it's harder for kids. You know, there's they don't know how they're feeling right? So it's it's hard for them to sit down and look mom and dad in the eye. You know, I feel anxious because I don't know if I'm gonna get a good grade in English or not like is that that's some kids can do that. Man, I

Amy: 27:17

actually find that I've told my husband that a lot like talk to Jackson, our older one when he's playing video games, like play a video game with him, because he'll just naturally talk to you about things. And anytime we do that with our kids, they always are, you know, talking or telling us things without actually having like a serious conversation, but they just mentioned things and then you talk about it.

Unknown: 27:36

It's the whole like meeting thing you were just completely reminding me of when Adam and I first started dating We were together for as you guys know, six years before we got married, we had check ins, these occasional check ins, because I knew that he was like, not ready to settle down. And he was having a hard time with the idea of being monogamous and everything. So like we decided we would occasionally check and like so still feeling this, like still into it. And it worked. And it kept us on track. And you know if there was ever a time where he was like, yeah, like, alright, so maybe we take little space apart from each other for a little while. You know? And same with me. Yeah, marriages is no different. Katie, every day in a marriage every day, we wake up and we choose to remain married. So right, yeah, so so true, you know, keeping these check ins while we're married, marriages end. And so every day that we were married, we are waking up and choosing to remain in this marriage. And so having these check ins can be very beneficial. Yeah, true. I

Amy: 28:36

also have a strategy that I've been using lately. And I want to know what you think of this. Dr. Koop. So I started, I don't even know if my husband, I don't think my husband knows this. But I have notes in my phone. And when I get annoyed at something he does, I just write it down. Because it helps me process it instead of being annoyed with him. Or being like, I have to talk about this, I literally will just write something down, almost like I'm talking to myself, but I write it in my notes. And then I don't even think about it anymore. And sometimes I revisit it and I'll look at it and be like, Yeah, that wasn't that big of a deal. Or I'll look at I'll be like, Oh, I should really talk about this. Of course, I haven't really done anything with the notes yet. I think the notes would probably be good to bring to a weekly check in. But I think it's also good because sometimes depending on, you know, your hormones, what time of the month, and he could get more annoyed than usual. And I I find it helpful for me to write it down because it helps me to reflect and look back. Sometimes I'm exaggerating. And sometimes the points are valid, whether I addressed them or not. I probably should because sometimes I just forget about it after I write it. But what do you think of that idea?

Unknown: 29:40

So I love that. It's essentially a journaling. Yeah, your journaling as opposed to you know, longhand? It's great. I think you should continue doing that. I recommend that a lot of people most people could probably benefit from doing that what you do with it? Well, the answer to what to do with it is that you don't always have to do something with it. So when you go back and you read it and you go Hmm, like not that big a deal. That's a great example of how in the moment, our emotions can feel so overwhelming and so accurate and so intense. But then if we give it a day or two, or even a couple of hours, like that was really not that, like, I don't care. And I think that, what's nice about that exercise for you is that without you even realizing it, it's highlighting the fact that we don't have to talk about everything that our partner does, or our children do, or our friends do. That annoys us. And if we did, most of us would not have very many positive relationships. Like it, no one wants to hear constantly, all the ways that they are failing to be the ideal role in your life. And so, you know, especially in our marriages, because my goodness, there's, there's plenty of fodder there. We really shouldn't. And I'm not a big fan of the word should, as you guys know, that's a rare exception. We I mean, we really don't benefit from talking about every little thing that our partner does that irks or noise or upsets us, right. But what you can do when you go back and review those notes is if you see themes emerging, like oh, like, oh, man, this thing that has been like, really, under my skin has been under my skin for 18 months. Yeah, okay. Maybe it's time that we have a conversation about a good point, an emerging theme. Yeah. Because I actually do that too. I've written down things that that I'm does it irritate the crap out of me so that I could talk to them about right, so

Amy: 31:31

then you're not talking about specific situations, but you're saying like these, this keeps coming up in various ways.

Unknown: 31:37

One, having specific examples is still important. But it doesn't have to be like this. One thing happened one time, and now we need to have this big, long discussion about it. Because a lot of partners are gonna like, what sorry that I was an imperfect human that day III, right, like, whereas if you can say like, Hey, I've been keeping some notes and journaling. And I was looking back through it the other day, and I realized that this thing that you did on Saturday is pretty similar to what you've been doing for the past, you know, month, the past 12 months, the past two years. And every time it upsets me, and it's still upsetting me. And I would like to figure out a way that we could work through this and help you understand how this impacts me and how it makes me feel right, because still tying back to what you initially said a few moments ago about giving grace, I think that's like a common thread in our discussion today is the importance of giving grace to those around us. Because, you know, we write these things down. If we brought up every single thing all the time, then we would probably be nowhere fast. Right? Things would exactly relationships would not be hanging out. So So yeah, yeah, I like that. It's a good, that's a good one to

Amy: 32:51

remember. And I do like, the idea, which I guess I sort of inherently know. But to make sure that you're talking about it when the time is right. Because that's I think it's really important for the kids because I think both my husband I both have a habit of like wanting to address something right away. But you always know like, when a top I mean, not that I've toddlers but it's like that idea when you have a toddler screaming, it's not the time to try to do it. You know, you got to wait till the kid has come. And I think for for relationships, the same thing, like my husband, as Katie knows is like the worst sleeper in the universe. So when he hasn't had a good night's sleep, it's like, forget it. I'm not talking to him all day, right? I have to wait until he's like refreshed, not hungry, whatever to like, have a conversation that's productive. Otherwise, forget about it.

Unknown: 33:35

Yeah, as I would be no. Right, exactly. Well, I think we're gonna have to save boundaries for the next time you come back, because we just crushed it on control in relationship. And now we have so many

Amy: 33:47

so many questions. And I'm sure these are all common, right? Is this like what everybody asks you? It's like the same thing, right? Everyone kind of has the same challenges I would imagine.

Unknown: 33:57

Yes, all not all, many humans have some of the same human challenges. So these are nothing nothing that we've talked about today is something that I haven't talked about with patients before. And in really, at this point, it's it's pretty rare that someone brings something where I'm just like, wow, I'm, I am stumped. I've no one I've ever talked to has ever had this issue in any way, shape, or form. Because, you know, human beings are inherently imperfect and human beings struggle with being human beings.

Amy: 34:27

I think to the the pandemic has made this better and worse, because I think, like, I am home so much more than I ever have been, which I love and I feel like my relationships are better because of that. But since you're spending so much time with your family, you're also identifying things are getting annoyed with things easier because you're just around more and everyone's around each other more. So it's a catch 22

Unknown: 34:50

Well, um, because then everyone's individual wants and needs are bumping up against each other more often. Whereas when we have these sort of delineated like you go to school, you go to your office, et cetera, we have our spaces where, like, within that context, my wants and needs are being managed for eight hours of the day or six hours of the day or what have you. But when everyone is at home for longer and longer periods of times, all of my wants and needs all my partner's wants and needs, all my children's wants and needs. They're all just like, you know. So like, what are those cars, those children's cars were crashing together, trying to get what you want. Out of this same context, which is the health

Amy: 35:41

there's an article that will post I haven't read it yet, my friend sent it to me last night, just talking about the pandemic and the way that people are feeling on the New York Times, it's called, there's a name for the black, you're feeling it's called languishing. And there's a whole article about it, you can access it. So she's gonna send it to me, but was just an interesting idea. Because I think a lot of people are in this last state at this point of the pandemic, with all of the new things coming out. And all these, like you were saying in the beginning of the show, the news and all of these new variants, and it's just very anxiety producing and kind of making people feel just

Unknown: 36:16

right. Yeah, I think there's also a sense of, of loss and grief that many people are experiencing, like, Katie, you were saying, with Rhys, you know, she only got two months of school last year, she's been so isolated. You know, I shared last time, my daughter, my four and a half year old has a number of complex medical needs. And to say that my two children have been isolette. I mean, she's in school right now only by thank goodness, the school board mandating masks, which allows it to be somewhat safe for her. But I mean, we don't go anywhere other than the zoo. And because the zoo is outdoors, my children don't go on playdates, they don't go to the playground, if you think about how much time has been lost in this pandemic, and then we continue to hear about more and more variants, etc, etc. The sense of loss just kind of stretches and stretches like, oh, like we only thought it was going to be a short period of time. And now it's like how much more time and freedom of being able to live our lives in the way that we want to safely without endangering the lives of others? How much more loss are we going to endure? And I think that's what is sort of underlying the way a lot of people are feeling is

Amy: 37:30

right, and it's our control. And that's the hard part

Unknown: 37:33

out of our control. So what can I control? Well, I can't control the fact that there's an awful lot of people that don't believe COVID is a thing or that it's a serious thing. But I can control the ways that I keep my daughter safe. And I can do that by communicating with her physicians and her school and making sure that she's masked and practice wearing a mask. And I can control the choices that I make and getting vaccinated and wearing a mask wherever I go, and who we interact with and how long we interact with them for and what context. Those are the things inside of my control. Because if I get bogged down with things that are outside of my control, I mean, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. Yeah, isn't that true? Well, that's all excellent, excellent advice. And thank you very much for it, because I think it's like such a pivotal point again. And last time when we had you on we were literally talking about the home stretch of COVID. And guess what? It was home stretch. So then, but what I think we should do now, and we did it last time, but I'm just curious if anything's changed up as our rap session, you want to stick around for it. We have a couple of the fun questions for you. Sure. Okay. All right. So what's one of your favorite wellness and beauty hacks now mine at this point is avoiding added sugar, gluten and dairy. I spent the majority of my adult life very interested invested and in love with those three food groups, air quotes, right sugars. But for me it was and cutting those out of my life. I mean, it's just been a game changer. For me. I think it is improved my health across the board. And I couldn't be more thankful for for the fact that I made that choice and have stuck with it because now I can't imagine going back nice and it helps with your autoimmunity. Also, because it helps with my it's I mean, it greatly manages my autoimmune disease, but also, you know, it helps manage just the way that my skin looks the way that my body looks the way that my clothes fit the functioning of my daughter. I'm sure Yeah, right. I'm not nearly as emotionally tied to sweets and desserts. And I mean, I used to not be able to walk past like in grad school, there'd be like free doughnuts for a talk. I mean, I just I could not walk past it without having to have them not just one too now. I mean, I walk past desserts or you know, look at the dessert menu. It's like no, none of this is going to make me feel as good as I feel without it. So no thanks for yeah Yeah, that's

Amy: 40:00

great. Same question, maybe your answer will be different. You just got out of the shower and dried off. Uber just alerted you that they're five minutes away. What is your quick beauty routine? What do you put on? What are your go to Holy Grails to get out of the house and in the car on time, but I will switch it because last time we just said, it could be whenever like, you're going out. But let's say you're going to work and you happen to be taking over that day, you only have five minutes to get ready. How does it change for you?

Unknown: 40:26

Nice reoccurring guest twist. So actually, I will say that the first time I was here, you guys hadn't done this yet. I remember, I remember listening and being like, Oh, that's a new question. And so the reality is, if this was an Uber, if I'm taking an Uber, it's because I'm going someplace nice. Like it's a special occasion. Ring. Yeah. And the reality is, is I'm going to make the Uber wait. Right writing,

Amy: 40:56

no one has said that one.

Unknown: 40:58

I mean, that's my, that's my boundary. Like, if it's a special occasion, I'm taking an Uber, I'm gonna, I'll take the low rating on the chin, I'll pay whatever fee but I'm gonna make them wait because I want to feel my best on a night out and I want to look my best

Amy: 41:14

way to get ready in five minutes, I'm not going to

Unknown: 41:17

just not going to happen. Especially if I'm fresh out of the shower, no way. However, if it's work, right, like there's, you know, there's a hard stop or a hard start for that, right, I have a patient scheduled, I gotta get to work. In that case, I'm going to attempt to pull my short hair back, but I'm gonna throw my foundation inside my mix it with my moisturizer, put it on, you're going to use one of my eyebrow pencils that are faster. So I can just like quickly fill in my brows. And then I'm going to go with a bold lip. And I'm going to use my Maybelline LashBlast mascara and the orange tube. Oh, because I have been relying on Old Faithful since it came out. And I've tried all the more expensive brands and have yet to find anything that I liked nearly as much love it. It's a good one. All right. So how are you maintaining your daily Nirvana these days? Last time, I think he told us just movement and getting on the treadmill and all that same stuff for what are you up to? Some of the same stuff. But I'm also reminding myself that while this particular moment might be difficult, it can always be worse. So helping reframe things that you know, like the storm eventually passes. And and even though this is challenging, it could be worse for me and it is worse for other people. And so having such a shift in my mindset allows me to bring some more gratitude into my heart and being more thankful that okay, this, this is bad. And this is hard. And this is challenging, but it's not as bad as it could be. Yeah, that's really good. Like made me tear up a little bit because I kind of needed to hear that right now. So yeah, that's a great one. I like that a little perspective shift is always important. Yeah, amazing. All right. Well, do you have time to stick around for the product review on the mantra, or do you need to head out? Sure, sure. Okay. Amy, do you have a product? I

Amy: 43:08

really don't and I forgot to ask you. So we can, we can skip on that this week or I

Unknown: 43:18

just discovered, this tart has a new it's called lippy lingerie out. It's like a pencil slash lipstick. And they have a lot of really beautiful colors. I'm kind of obsessed with the way that it goes on, and how it feels throughout the day. I'm frequently on Zoom calls with patience. And you know, I like a good bold lip.

Amy: 43:41

Is that what you're wearing now?

Unknown: 43:43

It is what I'm wearing. Yeah, it's

Amy: 43:44

gonna tell you that before that. I love your lips. Yeah,

Unknown: 43:47

this is the shameless color. But it's like a pencil, which initially I didn't. Yeah, I didn't initially love the pencil part, but it helps me apply it exactly where I want it. I get a nice crisp line. And it's got kind of a matte look to it, but it's feels very moisturizing. Unlike the other matte lipsticks. I've tried. I'm kind of obsessed with

Amy: 44:08

it. Like a liner and a lipstick together. It looks like no one really. Yeah.

Unknown: 44:13

I mean, it's like a lipstick that they shaped into a giant toddler crayon.

Amy: 44:17

I guess it looks like

Unknown: 44:19

what you get. I didn't love that part. But the colors are gorgeous. And the way that it goes on and stays on. It doesn't dry out. It doesn't get cracked. It doesn't it's not gross. At the end of the day. I just I really like it.

Amy: 44:31

And it's by far You said it's my target. Yeah. Awesome. Okay, that's a good one. Probably get

Unknown: 44:37

it like Sephora, Amazon, any of those places, right? Yeah. And actually, I think even like Target is carrying Ulta and Ulta carries talks. Right? That's right, and give them target now.

Amy: 44:48

No, I love that. Target. I saw that recently. It's really fun. All right, well, that's an awesome one. We always have a good a good lippie reco and I love the name too.

Unknown: 44:56

Thank you for that review. That was fantastic. And let's go ahead and wrap with our Montra this one's a little lengthy, but I saw it and I just loved it. I think you guys will love it too. So I don't know if it's necessarily a mantra, but we'll see. We'll see what you guys think of it. Be like a tree. stay grounded, connect with your roots, turn over a new leaf bend before you break. Enjoy your unique natural beauty and keep growing. Oh, I love Michelle's love, because that's a mantra. That's really good.

Amy: 45:27

That's, that's great. And that's a good perspective shift like you were just talking about. So with that, thank you, Dr. Koop for being on the show. Again, as our resident. This has been so helpful. I feel like I've been through a session and now I feel very armed with good tools. So I hope our listeners will too. I'm sure they will. And I'm sure they'll want you to come back. So thank you so much for being on Nirvana sisters, and for continuing to inspire us and give us all this amazing insight.

Unknown: 45:57

My pleasure. Thanks for having me. Thank you.

Amy: 46:00

Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.